NightSG

If there's a line, then everybody's wrong.

I got a fast (slightly less than a second, assuming gravity remained constant - hard to tell in free fall) lesson in how to do a cannonball in the dark from running off a 12' high riverbank while playing full moon paintball during a Scout campout. Didn't get hit, though. I think that was the same campout where I was rather rudely awakened at sunrise by a hereford cow bellowing at the fact my tent was set up in the middle of her usual path to the water.

But did you compete to see who could pee the fire out from farthest away?

Oh, I've talked to plenty of rocks. Had some things that would make a sailor blush to say to hundreds of them about 3-4 hours into a long hike. If they start talking back, I'm more likely to recheck the previous day's menu than take their advice.

Oh sure, you want to "be friends" to keep him in reserve so you can grab him up as soon as the zombie apocalypse starts, without having to contribute to any of the prep effort in the meantime. Women are so shallow.

How would that even work? Rocks don't die.

Also, I don't know how accommodating they'd be, but you could check with some of the supported tour companies and other bike rental places in the area and ask if they'd be willing to do some half-day or shorter easy rides with you on different types of bikes. Once the fall semester starts, it might be a good way for them to get a bit of rental income and you can get some pro tips from people who ride a lot and fit bikes to new people daily, and actual, meaningful tests of the bikes instead of just a couple laps around a shop parking lot. You don't want to start a six day intensive tour on an unfamiliar bike without a lot of work up to that point, but a couple hours in the saddle will tell you a lot more than a few minutes. http://bicycleadventures.com/destinations/idaho-bike-tours http://www.cyclingutah.com/event-calendars/regional-road-tours-and-century-rides/ http://www.bicycleridesnw.org/2017/current-rides/idaho/ http://www.ridethehiawatha.com/ Then start reading https://www.crazyguyonabike.com/ to get an idea of where the hobby can take you...which is pretty much everywhere.

Black Sharpie. When you can only read it once, you make it count.

First, throw out the advice from the cruiser kiddies; that big squishy seat is going to chafe your crotch to the point of needing medical attention if you try to do any meaningful distances. Flat or riser handlebars will kill your shoulders over time from lack of other hand positions; no matter how comfy they might seem, when you're riding for a couple hours with only one hand position, your trapezius muscles are not going to be happy. Get the narrowest saddle that will support your pelvic ischia, and as firm as you can find it. Put it up at the right height, and look into getting some pedals with foot retention to save your knees. Clip-and-strap or SPD pedals will also force you to keep your foot properly positioned on the pedal which will eliminate a lot of lower leg and foot discomfort from pedaling with the wrong part of your feet. I'm wrenching on bikes for a living now, working for a guy who lost 110lbs in 18 months and hasn't needed metformin in a year now. At 6'3" and 285lbs, he rides one of the narrowest saddles we carry. I've only dropped about 12lbs, but 6 inches off my gut and my calves look better than they have since high school. http://www.bicycling.com/training/bike-fit/get-perfect-bike-fit-3-key-measurements-every-cyclist-should-know http://blog.bikefit.com/how-to-fit-a-road-bicycle/ Get the bike tuned up and fitted before you try more than a test ride. Any good bike shop will do this on a new bike, but you may be looking at $100-150 to tune up a used bike or something from a department store. It's worth it, though, as repacking a set of bearings is a lot cheaper than having them fail 10 miles out because they weren't properly greased to start with, or the grease had hardened over time. Consider going for a commute/utility/touring bike style; putting a rack on it and using it for small-to-medium grocery runs and other trips eliminates the "I don't have time for a workout" excuse. 90+% of my riding over the last 18 months was in a commute of first 4.5 miles each way, then 8 miles each way once the office moved. Now it's down to .75 miles each way, but I go home for lunch and do all my grocery runs on the bike, plus riding to the local senior citizens center (yeah, I've got a couple more decades before I qualify for membership, but they have open-to-the-public stuff a lot) dances on Tuesday nights, and the occasional campout on family land 10 miles out.

Not much point in telling her after the fact; tell her right then so she can take it off.

I'm working on second-degree veganism; most of the things I eat were vegan before they were slaughtered and cooked.

Really? I live down the street from a college, so it's pretty common during the hotter months to see women in tank tops and short shorts. The ones still wearing those when it's 40F or below, particularly when they're wearing short shorts and a heavy coat, definitely are received differently.

Well, let's see; every miracle diet, superfood, and magic easy workout plan has morbidly obese people shilling for it on Facebook. Look back through their photos for a couple years, and then ask yourself if it's done anything at all for them. I bike 5-30 miles a day for the last year and a half. I'm in a jiujitsu class 4 hours a week, and Modern Arnis 2 hours a week, plus occasionally visiting the kenpo dojo across town for an extra hour workout. I've only lost 12 pounds, and 4" off my gut, but I'm still far from having a six pack even after 18 months. I doubt I'll hit that point if I keep up this level for another year, so I'm now adding in the weekly dances at the local senior citizens center. (They're open to the public, $5, and include free food, plus I'm only about 10-15 years from being a part of that crowd anyway. The little old ladies are happy to get someone who can stand upright to two-step or swing, and sometimes bring their divorced daughters that are in my age range.) Walking a mile or two a couple times a week isn't a long term fitness plan. It's something you do for a few weeks at most until your body is used to moving around for an hour daily, and then you need to up the intensity. If you can chat on the phone during your "workout," you need to at least double the intensity. Short version; if it's easy, it's not going to work. Dedicate the effort to get your body used to a much higher activity level, then look for fun ways to keep it there.

"Don't get comfortable; you're halfway to having to put up with your family again."

Any time I start a new job, I buy myself a nice dinner and something (movie, new suit, whatever) with the first paycheck. No matter what else needs to be paid. It might be a while before I have enough in the budget again, but I'll enjoy one evening to celebrate. If you don't set aside a bit for yourselves, what's the point?

I need to figure out a way to isolate gay yeasts. After all, then God won't recognize any fermentation process they're involved in, so I can brew LDS friendly beer.

His name was actually Bubba, and the whole mess has been a coverup to preserve the Church culture's disdain for rednecks. Don't get me started on how all of Christianity has intentionally mistranslated Jim-Bob the Baptist for the same reason.

Depends on the extent, but pretty much any over-familiar contact is likely to be seen as justification for a moderately violent removal of said contact.

There are three effective ways to deal with that; dislocate the elbow, dislocate the shoulder enough to damage the rotator cuff or break the collarbone. Any of the three done well should keep that hand off of you for 2-6 weeks.

Age is also a factor; we had a small Amish community near here, but most of them left as the older members of the families got to where they couldn't take the heat.

The lesser known secondary purpose of the emblems was so the others wouldn't be sitting there with empty plates watching Him eat a surf-and-turf.

Uh...think about that one for a minute, dude; Catholics believe in literal transubstantiation. Besides, He would be too busy healing all the knee injuries from the constant sit-stand-sit-kneel-stand-sit-kneel-stand calisthenics.

Go to an LDS potluck with about 150-200 people there. Superficially, it looks a bit like a Methodist potluck for 50. Only looks, mind you; Methodists have these special things called "seasonings" that they put in stuff. Unless you're in a primarily Hispanic ward where the rules are sometimes relaxed, those things are apparently against some LDS rule I can't find in any of the books.

I seriously doubt the kid understands anyway, since the father didn't know this was coming until a few hours before the baptism. OP says the mother only has him 65 days a year and she's only been a member for two years. Even if those 65 days include all Sundays, that's nowhere near the amount of instruction that a child raised in the Church would have by 8. Unless the father specifically avoids talking to the boy about religion at all, or the mother has told him not to tell his father, I can't imagine that the level of instruction appropriate to prepare a child for baptism wouldn't have had the boy asking his dad some questions. I have about the same number of days with my kids each year, my oldest is 8, and I'm sure I could coach her on the right answers, and she would go along with it. What I couldn't do is give her enough information to make an informed decision and keep her mother from knowing unless I specifically told her to keep it secret from her mother. There's also the question of the child deciding to become a member of another church later; what is the process for name removal for a minor? Would it require the consent of both parents? Some churches won't baptize a person again if they've ever been baptized in any Christian faith, so that could be an issue when he doesn't get to participate in the bigger part of the baptism-and-confirmation ceremony with his friends at 11-13 or whatever age. While I've never heard of it being enforced on even an inactive member, joining another church is listed as grounds for excommunication, so it has to be considered as a possible consequence. Obviously, if the boy remains a happy whatever for the rest of his life, an LDS excommunication would be nothing more than an amusing footnote, but if he decides to rejoin at some point, then it becomes an issue.

Oh sure, it had nothing to do with the deviled eggs and the Mexican casserole. (New reality TV show idea: Mormons vs Methodists - Potluck Wars.)