NightSG

Do you also have an annoying preference for thin, slick toilet paper, hideous taste in wall coverings and an equally poor concept of volleyball court safety? I mean, without those, you really can't be everything wrong with the Church.

It's considerably easier to make a functioning submachine gun than crystal meth. A single shot firearm, even suppressed, is trivial with just a drill press and some hand tools. Guaranteed if guns are harder to get, criminals will go that route, leaving only the law abiding disarmed. Meanwhile, a bunch of little old ladies would die at the hands of home invaders. http://www.ketv.com/article/elderly-arkansas-woman-shoots-kills-19-year-old-home-intruder/13139248 http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/08/01/texas-woman-shoots-kills-home-intruder.html https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/04/29/80-year-woman-shoots-and-kills-young-intruder-after-he-stabs-her-husband/

Or if you have the artistic talent for it, this guy's work is really impressive:

And the worst part of it is that he apparently sent threatening text messages to his mother in law at some point before the whole thing; I don't know if she didn't take it seriously enough to forward them to LE, or if LE dropped the ball by not jumping on an easy possession by prohibited person arrest, (hard to imagine the family not knowing about the rifle he posted on FB, or his DV conviction) but if those two things had happened, he'd be in a cell somewhere awaiting the official start of a ten year sentence, and a town wouldn't be in shock over the loss of half a congregation.

Ezekiel 4:12; the reason I don't go to the Bible for cooking advice. II Kings 2:23-24; really? Mass death penalty for making fun of a bald guy? Proverbs 31:6-7; anguish and a hangover is not better than anguish alone. John 21:25; I'm bored with this, so you'll just have to do without the rest of the story.

You know you want one. Or three. Maybe extreme irony is an exception to the Flag Code:

Are you just cranky that everyone can buy your secret cuddle-buddy now? http://gettrumpybear.com/

You know, people sometimes say things like this, but I just can't imagine any of the bishops I've known refusing a (checks TX lottery site for the current jackpot) $5.2 million tithing check if it's placed in their hands.

I'd have to say the scams are far worse overall; others are harmed by dishonesty, (both immediately by taking their money under false pretenses, and long term in the case of the fad diets and "health supplements," which keep turning out to have adverse health effects) and it's generally a long-term premeditated act. Even if you spend months planning out your next cup of coffee and how you'll avoid the missionaries catching you with it, that's still only harming yourself.

That would be the height of hypocrisy considering how many view MLM scams and selling fad diets as an honest living.

Well, we tried swatting one on the nose with a rolled up newspaper, but eventually he hid all the newspapers and still wears jeans to Sacrament Meeting. And since most of them have opposable thumbs, they just take the shock collars off.

Well, then if the infidel won't allow himself to see the light, you must burn him at the stake. Or maybe try having more respect for his religious beliefs than your own words imply you do.

Uh, we talkin' 'bout the same Jesus? The one who could instantly heal the addiction without a trace?

If you don't mention shredded carrots, it's not complete.

Why don't we have some black ops geek team that can go in and adjust all their missiles to say they're pointed at wherever, but actually launch at Russia? Let Putin solve the problem for us.

Works on missionaries too.

Before or after the first kiss?

Try convincing some of our local gamers of that. There's a group of them that hangs out at the local McD's to play when the game shop is closed, (i.e. Sunday and Monday nights, and the rest of the week from 10PM until at least 2AM) and they're pretty much the stereotype of undesirable gamers; all morbidly obese, with hygiene a hobo would be ashamed of, and apparently no other interests, or desire to have any other interests in their lives. I've actually been tempted to intervene a couple times when one of them started trying to flirt with an employee...by telling her all about his paladin. Unfortunately, the only thing I could come up with at the moment that he'd understand (short of intense pain) would be shaming his (really almost as pathetic as the player) paladin with the stats of my cleric. In retrospect, that might have been a good thing; showing all present that it's possible to draw a very distinct line between a hobby and a life.

Tell them you don't speak English, so they're going to have to find you a set of missionaries fluent in Manx. Also Scriptures in Manx. Likely that one will keep them confused a lot longer than it'll take you to learn to say it in Manx.

Ran across this and immediately thought of this thread:

You're doing it wrong; run to the one in Ammon, then you can have whatever you want.

I'm waiting for Samuel L Jackson's translation.

I wonder how hard it would be to get a billboard put up nearby...

Well, maybe he knows some Sicilians... And the Sicilians would gladly take your money.

Oops. Wrong TLD. http://postimage.org