omegaseamaster75
-
Posts
2163 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
1
Posts posted by omegaseamaster75
-
-
My husband and I have been married for over 2 years. I am 22 he is 27. We were engaged and married quite quickly and were sealed in the temple 2 months before our second anniversary. We have been apart 4 months during our first year of marriage. The relationship started on lies and WoW problems on his part, we married for the wrong reasons (sexual sin). Two weeks before our wedding we wanted to split but out parents had put so much into the wedding and we felt bad as my mum is quite poor. It was wrong from day 1 and he was distant since we got engaged. First year he never really wanted intimacy and I was all the more clingy, craving his affection. I began to think of my very loving ex boyfriend who was heart broken I moved away and married another man. I finally asked my husband the final time if he truly loved me...he replied no I don't think so. I moved back home the next day but I was too heart broken and needed to instantly be fixed so we got back together as he felt guilty about it. This happened a few more times until it stuck for a few months. When it came to what seemed like I would not see him again I freaked and we got back together. He wanted to as he doesn't need to be in love to be married and just doesn't want to bother with divorce, plus he wants to do his duties as a mormon priesthood holder. Bear in mind he never tried to win me back when I left. Anyways there was a couple more sin issues with WoW leading to loss of his drivers licence. Nothing since that. We pushed our issues aside and were fine for a while apart from me feeling depressed. I got over that mostly and we married in the temple. Now I can't cope with this distant and unloving nature anymore and am thinking about my ex again. He told me recently he doesn't love me as much as I love him and was depressed but then after seeing me cry so much he took it back. I want to divorce really but don't know if it's bad enough for that and I'm scared of the consequences. Any thoughts would be appreciated and feel free to ask questions I've definitely not covered everything!
I am going to give you the answer that no one else here will. Your husband is disengaged, he has admitted to not loving you and that love is not that important in the marriage. He wants to keep the marriage for appearances sake. Maybe so his family won't judge him or so that he feels ok when he goes to church which based on everything you have described doesn't happen to often. You have compounded a mistake of marrying the first time by making another one and marrying in the temple.
You are young and have a bright future in front of you, I am assuming no kids as this will influence my advise.
The Lord does not want you to be trapped in an unhappy marriage.
Get divorced, find a worthy young man to take you to the temple and have an eternal family. You will encounter road blocks and have difficult time ahead but you can't progress in the situation that you are currently in.
-
-
We have all decided that riches mean material wealth, I would say this is not the case which is why a poor person can be righteous and still wealthy although not in temporal things. I can be as righteous as anyone but if I am unwilling to put in the hard work I will never be temporally wealthy and even if I do work hard there are no guarantees in life. It's life I do not think that God gets that involved in the temporal side of things.
Matthew Bennett and TFP need to face reality our leaders are wealthy in general, our passing judgement on how they spend their hard earned money is small and petty.
How big of a house is to big? how much should they spend on a car? Is a BMW or Mercedes out of line? Wait what if they own 2 homes one for vacation is that out of line?
Jealousy is a terrible thing guys
-
Omega, I think the miscommunication between you and TFP here is your understanding of the word "commandment".
So, let me try to bridge this gap. If you think that paying Tithing is a commandment, then going on a Mission is also a commandment. If you don't think Tithing is a commandment, then going on a Mission is also not a commandment... Note that not everybody can pay Tithing and there are some whose full tithes is $0.00. And note that not all failures to comply to commandments revoke our temple recommends.
What do the GA's say about Tithes? Plain and simple. It is a commandment.
So, as far as a talk given... here's one from Pres. Kimball:
I was asked a few years ago, “Should every young man who is a member of the Church fill a mission?” And I responded with the answer the Lord has given: “Yes, every worthy young man should fill a mission.”
<snip>
Certainly every male member of the Church should fill a mission, like he should pay his tithing, like he should attend his meetings, like he should keep his life clean and free from the ugliness of the world and plan a celestial marriage in the temple of the Lord.
<snip>
One young man spoke tellingly of this when he recently said, “I hope that when I am called to go on a full-time mission, I am called and told that the Lord wants me to go, and that it is my duty, rather than just being told that a mission would be a good thing for me if I wanted to go.”
<snip>
Our work is to preach the gospel to the world. It is not self-imposed. We are under divine commandment.
This is were you are incorrect If you think that paying Tithing is a commandment, then going on a Mission is also a commandment" Paying tithing is a commandment, if you don't you can't go to the temple. If I don't go on a mission I can still go to the temple and receive my endowment.
Per Kimball's talk every worthy young man SHOULD fill a mission. He didn't say I command you to he said should. His last line is also applicable, We are under divine commandment to preach the gospel. I agree with this "every member a missionary" absolutely!
Note he didn't say We are under divine commandment to serve a mission.
Every utterance from the mouth of the prophets is not a commandment.
-
Source(s)? And what are the "wise" uses that the Lord approves of wealth for?
(I don't disbelieve you. I'm just curious as to how you would back that up with the word of the Lord.)
Are we to all be poor? basic substance living and anything extra to go to the poor and needy?
-
Thank you for clarifying.
I wonder if you wouldn't mind commenting on how you view two of the scriptures I quoted earlier. I keep seeing people saying "don't judge" (and we shouldn't judge people--we should, however, weigh the spirits and judge principles) and neglecting to even touch the material I've mentioned, which is taken directly from scriptures given to our dispensation and deal with the interrelation between affluence and righteousness.
D&C 49:19-21:
19 For, behold, the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air, and that which cometh of the earth, is ordained for the use of man for food and for raiment, and that he might have in abundance.
20 But it is not given that one man should possess that which is above another, wherefore the world lieth in sin.
D&C 70:14:
14 Nevertheless, in your temporal things you shall be equal, and this not grudgingly, otherwise the abundance of the manifestations of the Spirit shall be withheld.
Easy it's called context
D&C 49 was a revelation given in response to a religious group called Quakers this religious is still active today verse 19-21 is in response to the belief of some Quakers that they should not consume meat.
D&C 70:14 again context this revelation was given in the very first years of the formation of the church Joseph was trying to form Zion and part of that idea was the law of consecration (a failed attempt). This verse refers directly to that law and the need to donate/give/consecrate all goods to the bishop.
Since we do not live the law of consecration this is not applicable.
-
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/04/faith-in-the-lord-jesus-christ?lang=eng&query=doubt
A relevant talk
some interesting highlights:
Consider it this way: our net usable faith is what we have left to exercise after we subtract our sources of doubt and disbelief. You might ask yourself this question: “Is my own net faith positive or negative?” If your faith exceeds your doubt and disbelief, the answer is likely positive. If you allow doubtand disbelief to control you, the answer might be negative.
First is doubt. Doubt is not a principle of the gospel. It does not come from the Light of Christ or the influence of the Holy Ghost. Doubt is a negative emotion related to fear. It comes from a lack of confidence in one’s self or abilities. It is inconsistent with our divine identity as children of God.
Doubt leads to discouragement. Discouragement comes from missed expectations. Chronic discouragement leads to lower expectations, decreased effort, weakened desire, and greater difficulty feeling and following the Spirit (see Preach My Gospel [2004], 10). Discouragement and despair are the very antithesis of faith.
-
*sigh*
If that's the best you're capable of understanding... I'm done here.
Yeah that's the best......we are not commanded to serve. I'm not so bright please show me where a GA said it's a commandment?
-
Already addressed in post #26.
This is based on your premise that it is a commandment to serve a mission, one of which I disagree with.
-
You say this as if it's the only standard whereby we may judge right and wrong.
Would you as a member in good standing not be offended if by the sweat of your brow you were successful and able to provide in abundance for your family and were thought less of as a result of your success?
-
A. Being unable to serve is very different from choosing not to serve.
B. Repentance is repentance. Even if one of our leaders simply blatantly chose not to obey, they have just as much right to have repented as anyone, whereupon their sins are washed clean as if they had never been.
C. Then you must belong to some other church. Are you FLDS? They don't believe missionary work is mandatory (as long as you live "the principle").
A. There are those that are able to serve (meet age requirement/ otherwise healthy and normal) and choose not to or are not ready spiritually to serve. The mission field is better off without these individuals. No one should serve because their mommy and daddy expect them to or because of cultural pressure, and trust me there are plenty that do just this. They should serve because they have a righteous desire to.
B. Repentance for what? It is not a sin to not serve a mission. If I choose to not serve do I need to make an appointment with my Bishop and go through some sort of repentance process? No absolutely not and it is ridiculous to say that it is a sin
C. Nice one FLDS funny.....
-
I'm surprised that, in 6 pages of discussion, these (and similar) scriptures doctrine haven't even been mentioned (except for Jacob 2:18-19):
Jacob 2:28-19:
18 But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God.
19 And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good—to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted.
D&C 49:19-21:
19 For, behold, the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air, and that which cometh of the earth, is ordained for the use of man for food and for raiment, and that he might have in abundance.
20 But it is not given that one man should possess that which is above another, wherefore the world lieth in sin.
21 And wo be unto man that sheddeth blood or that wasteth flesh and hath no need.
2 Nephi 26:20:
20 And the Gentiles are lifted up in the pride of their eyes, and have stumbled, because of the greatness of their stumbling block, that they have built up many churches; nevertheless, they put down the power and miracles of God, and preach up unto themselves their own wisdom and their own learning, that they may get gain and grind upon the face of the poor.
D&C 70:14:
14 Nevertheless, in your temporal things you shall be equal, and this not grudgingly, otherwise the abundance of the manifestations of the Spirit shall be withheld.
When someone gets enough gain that they can flippantly talk about their $125k membership and buy and wear $50k watches, they're going against the principles listed above. If any Mormon gets any kind of "gain" and refuses to impart of their substance liberally to the poor and needy (according to the wants and needs of the poor--D&C 82:17, Mosiah 18:29), they are guilty of breaking those commandments.
Consecration--which would have prepared the Saints to bring again Zion--failed because of, among other things, "jarrings, and contentions, and envyings, and strifes, and lustful and covetous desires among them" (D&C 101:6). Those "covetous desires" and "contentions" are encouraged by stratification into different socioeconomic statuses (poor, rich, etc.). The poor are strongly tempted to envy the finer things obtained by the rich--and the effect of that strong temptation is described as "grinding the faces" of the poor. The rich become lifted up and proud in their hearts. It is very rarely that a rich person will be able to enter the kingdom of heaven, because where a person's riches are, there will their treasure be also.
I have highlighted the part that I totally disagree with. Quite frankly it is offensive to anyone who has worked hard and become successful that it would be thought of them that they are going against the principles of the church. I would be willing to bet that a very large percentage of the Elders of the church are very wealth. They live in the best neighborhoods, drive expensive cars, and take vacations we can only dream about. This does not make them less righteous their wealth gives them the opportunity to serve all of us.
-
You would think that. Honestly, what church do you belong to?
The one were it's not a sin to not go on a mission. Many our leaders did not serve
-
And, we save up our extra money that our parents sent us and buy CDs (hopefully approved ones), new shirts, souvenirs, and A&W root beer from the specialty store (what a glorious day that was). We also bought a gallon of ice cream (per missionary) every P-day and lived off of soda when proselyting (whereas we couldn't drink the water and soda was "cheap").
Yeah...Americans...not spoiled at all...
Yes typically parents would send extra money to the American Missionaries however this was not my experience, I got the same as my native companions no extra was sent as my parents had several missionaries out at the same time. I never viewed my life in dire straits, I accepted that this was how people lived and how I needed to live if I wanted to get along and relate to the people I was trying to teach. It grinds on the native companions when the Americans get a huge care package from home. I also makes them difficult to relate to, I attribute part of the success of my mission to being able to be an equal with my companions and the people of that country. I was fortunate enough to be in a position during a period on my mission in which I could see how others chose to serve, and the varying degree of success they had based on their attitudes towards the people of that country.
That said this is why personal experience does not work well in these instances because everyone has such a varied experience.
-
No we're not. But there are TONS of American things you think you need but you don't and tons of American waste that you don't realize. These things are ingrained in the everyday American lifestyle... For example - ziploc bags. Sooo American. $20K will not be enough if you live the $50K lifestyle. $20K is enough to live a $20K lifestyle. Two different things. Both possible. Both comfortable. Both in America. But, you won't know what you can live without until you live without it.
In your mind how do you picture Americans serving foreign missions live?
Do you think the American Missionaries are given more money than their native companions so that they can live their American lifestyle?
I can assure you its gets native very quickly.
-
Don't get me wrong. I wasn't feeling picked on by you. Just pointing out that I don't, necessarily think $75 for a watch is okay. Honest truth is that I don't know where the line is. But 50k is WAY past it any way you cut it.
I didn't know that they even sold watches for as little as $75.00
-
But that's not why I want you to spend a year in the Philippines. I want you to spend a year in the Philippines so you can learn how to live frugally. Because, I guarantee you, after a year, you will feel $20K is a lot of money to live on.
I know what it takes to live in a 3rd world country, and I know that 20k is a lot of money on a relative scale in those countries, but we are not talking about the Philippines or Mexico.
-
It's irrelevant. It's 5-50k that could have been given to the poor and needy, or otherwise used to build the kingdom of the Lord.
Fair point. But I don't really buy it. $125k membership to a golf club to do business? But in fairness....maybe.
Nonsense. The requirement to be a 70 is not perfection.
I'm sorry...125k for a membership to a club? Thousands upon thousands for a watch?
I'm judging. Not the man. That's between him and God. The action though? With the potential exception of the membership being required for business (I don't buy that for a second though), I still call it disgusting.
When God blessed you with money you use it to build His kingdom, not to play golf and wear ridiculous watches.
Envy is also a sin
Do you really think he does not give generously to charity and to the church?
His wealth has put him in a position in which he can serve full time without outside worldly concerns.
Perspective needs to be taken into account in all things. My mission president was not a bragger, he was not flashy, he was/is the most humble person I have ever had the pleasure of working with.
-
-
Russell M Nelson was a cardiac surgeon. He is a very wealthy man.
-
Please tell me were I over shot....I don't think any of those numbers are excessive living expenses
-
so 2k is unreasonable?
-
The fact that you do not understand this is exactly why there are so many debt problems.
lets do some math, so 20,080/yr that's about 18,200 take home
Tithing (i'll assume paid on gross): 2080
Rent (again I'll go cheap 500.00/ month): 6000.00/yr
Food(lets say 200.00/mo): 2400.00
Basic utilities 150/mo: 1800.00
Clothing lets say they shop at the DI: 200
Car lets just assume maintenance and repairs: 200.00
Gas 120/mo: 1440
Insurance: 1200
I'm up to 15320.00 so far
Heaven forbid their car breaks down, personal needs, bathroom supplies, general maintenance around the home....wait what if someone needs to go to the hospital? People do get sick. I can hear the plastic cracking on that credit card already.
Clearly you do not understand.
-
how much is to much for a watch?
Thinking of divorce - help!
in Marriage and Relationship Advice
Posted
Wait, the OP is miserable her spouse does not love her. It sounds like by her description that there have been extensive efforts to save the marriage. When you have exhausted all avenues whats left?
Please tell me were the GA's or scripture were it says to suffer in a loveless marriage for eternity?
You advise to eliminate the "outs" Great in theory but marriage is a 2 way street both people in the marriage need to be full participants. The husband is just along for the ride, were does that leave the spouse? what about her eternal progression?