omegaseamaster75
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Posts posted by omegaseamaster75
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Food no doubt
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Take your meds...
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Examples of his verbal abuse:
-Repeatedly telling me while pregnant that I'm disgusting and I repulse him
-While pregnant with my first child I had horrible back pain and was working about 50-56 hours a week. I would come home and lay down to relieve the pain - he always told me I was lazy
-Telling me I'm gross when he sees me in my garments - he makes me change in the closet or bathroom
-Telling me I need plastic surgery
I'm sorry you are married to a monster, you can forgive him if you want but you don't need to spend one more minute taking his abuse.
What kind of example is being set for your kids? is this how they should treat their spouses?
Talk to a lawyer.
- mdfxdb and auzziegirl
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You need to be active in the online dating scene, also you need to gain some confidence. This is how I would go about gaining confidence:
1. Understand that you are not the only socially awkward person out there. There are women who feel exactly the same as you and may share some of the same issues.
2. Lower the bar, I see this in many single women and men in the church, they want someone who is good looking, well off financially, and super spiritual, to ride in on their white horse with their shiny suit of armor a sweep them away. This never happens, same for the guys they want the super attractive yet modest, humble and spiritual future wife. So when I say lower the bar, date the single mom, ask the awkward chubby girl out on a date she's not going to say no. You don't have to marry her but you will learn how to act in social situations with women. Think of it it like learning to ride a bike, did you hop on your first bicycle and cruise around the neighborhood like a pro. No you didn't, you had training wheels and as you progressed and practiced you raised those training wheels, until one day you took them off.
3. Make yourself more desirable, finish your degree, get a good job, buy a house, be prepared financially, take care of your temporal body, lose that 10-15lbs you got sitting around your waist, if you have to wear a white shirt to church spend a few bucks and get a nice one, wear a real tie, get a nice suit, heck get two or three your single you can afford it. Dry clean your shirts so they are nice and sharp every week. Look presentable and you will begin to feel presentable.
4. Your 23, life's a journey not a race. Practice makes perfect in everything that we do, if you never practice you'll never get any better at it.
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However, the Church will always default to saving marriages and except in cases of abuse and adultery simply being unhappy is not a valid scriptural reason for divorce. Except for the fact that Bishops & SP cannot be divorced the Church has no penalties for divorce.
Is this true? A bishop or stake pres cannot have ever been divorced?
I find it hard to believe that this is accurate.
Off topic I know..
OP- see a lawyer, find out what your liabilities will be, then man up and talk to her. I do not think that you need to talk to the bishop about this unless you really want to. I can tell you that his advice will be to try to save the marriage.
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It is a 2 ways street, I haven't read the articles, but am not likely to based on your review
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You have no obligation they are grown people who it sounds like didn't prepare we'll for their advanced years. This is not your fault, and like you said they are not about to be on the streets
Buy your house enjoy your family
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Current bishops, stake presidents, or general Church leaders: What is your interpretation of question #6, "Is there anything in your conduct relating to members of your family that is not in harmony with the teachings of the Church?" Is it addressing only reportable abuse?
As addressed by others the temple questions are very specific in nature, they require a yes or no answer. "is there anything in your conduct relating to members of your family that is not in harmony with the teachings of the church?"
If your not speaking to your adult children and they are not speaking to you, you are allowed no contact with your grand kids, then the answer is YES (unless of course you are totally innocent in this tragic family falling out) If you answer yes I would assume that detail would have to be given and the issuance of a temple recommend will be delayed.
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It is often described that the mission is the two best/worth while years of your life. What have your collective experiences been.
For me I served in Mexico and can say besides my marriage and kids it was the best two years. In fact I would go back and do it all over again with out hesitation.
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What do you think it means to be a man then?
I'm generally curious.
Depends on what your goals in life are....It can be different things to different people.
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How old are you?
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Being LDS is hard, don't let anyone kid you. Growing up in the culture does not make it any easier, sure the WOW and tithing are probably not an issue but were the real problem lies is in participation.
The 80/20 rule applies in LDS culture just like everywhere else, with a non-paid Clergy we rely on the free time of otherwise busy people to run the day to day operations of the church. 80% in attendance don't want to participate, or they accept a calling because of cultural influences. Not because they are committed and want to do a good job. Think about all the other churches, you show up someone preaches at you and you get to leave.
So yes it's hard
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I'm with FXDB on this one whats the difference between a salad and a sandwich and what was proposed as a full meal. Will I be more in tune with the spirit if i don't order the steak? That's ridiculous.
It is exactly like the Ox in the Mire.
We have to eat, it's Sunday your out of town and on vacation with your family. Go out don't feel even a little bit guilty about it, heck order the prime rib, tell them I said it was ok.
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Just remember omega, your children get to pick your nursing home when you're too old to. :)
M.
Only if I go gaga, then I won't care...
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omegaseamaster75, there is a huge difference between a 26yo and an 18yo who probably hasn't quite figured out what their plans are yet. I think the stress would be huge for that 18yo when a parent tells them to make up their mind, either pick mission or college or you're out.
M.
With the mission age set at 18 decisions to go or not go on an mission should be made while they are 17. A decision to not go is fine but in college they have undergraduate work, a major does not need to be declared at the age of 18. They have time to work it out while working towards a degree. So basically no excuses.
Three simple choices
Go on a mission
Go to college
Move out
Life is full of stress, should we shield them from this or prepare them to make life decisions?
Let me preempt by saying that there is always the exception if your son/daughter has physical/mental disabilities the attitude will/should be different.
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I guess I should have quantified, as the author of the article did this diet is not for everyone. I in fact would never attempt such a thing. The premise remains the same....reduce your caloric intake and you will lose weight
- The Folk Prophet and pam
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I'm with omega and garry. My job as a parent is to emancipate my children from me, i.e. teach them the skills that they need in order to live on their own and have their own life with their own family. Unless it is a short transitory period (i.e. between HS graduation and college/mission), once you are 18 you are on your own.
IMO, if one of my children is 18, not in that transitory period and living at home, then I have failed as a parent. I am actually hindering their growth rather than helping it. I refuse to pay for college or mission for my children, make your own way in life. I did it before them, their grandparents did it before me and their great-grandparents did it before them. They will never appreciate a mission or college as much if someone else pays for it. That isn't to say they won't appreciate it, but that they won't appreciate it as much as if they had paid for it themselves.
As for being shunned, my personal philosophy is that my parents provided for me growing up, therefore it is my responsibility to help them as they get older and are unable to do some of the same things. I hope I teach my kids those same principles so that hopefully when I get older I'll have children that do the same. I have this philosophy specifically because my parents did a wonderful job of ensuring that when I turned 18 I was as ready as I ever would be to make it on my own. I have gratitude that they did that because I am much stronger in life and able to handle the vicissitudes of life much better than if they had allowed me to stay under their roof once I was old enough to become emancipated.
However, I will say that for the first few years on my own I didn't visit home as much . . . . simply because I was working it out on my own. As I became more established, I was able to give back more.
I agree with yjacket 100% with the small exception of paying for the mission and school. If my sons or daughter want to serve I will encourage them to save but I will foot that bill with a smile on my face. Education is a difficult topic gone are the days were you can work a summer and pay for your college. A mountain of debt is no way to start a life, education costs are outrageous I will not have my kids start life being burdened like that. The rule is 4 years. I will pay for 4 years of school finished or not they are on their own after that.
All this said our job is to prepare our kids for life. If your 26yo man child is living with you he has not progressed, not only in this life but his eternal progression is in jeopardy as well. This will sound judgmental but there are those who say "well my married son/daughter lived with us so they could save money for ______"
To this I say it sounds like they couldn't afford to get married in the first place.
I will sit patiently and wait to read about every exception........
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I think that is the point that Eowyn and I are trying to make. No matter the calories or the weight loss...eating nothing but Twinkies and the like are not healthy. And your body knows this. It would make me feel horrible.
I quick read of the article shows that his health actually improved with this diet, lower BMI, lower bad cholesterol, higher good cholesterol. The writer of the article expresses mixed feelings about the results but the facts don't lie.
Plain and simple if you want to lose weight EAT less EXERCISE more. I'd go as far as saying that 90% of it is caloric intake 10% exercise
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Wow. So you're saying that even if your 18 yo son or 19 yo daughter got a good paying job and wanted to save money before moving out, you'd kick them out anyway?
M.
If they got a good paying job they can afford to move out.
Lets be honest what qualifies as "good paying" without a college education?
Mission or School anything else they are on their own
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inconclusive, but it supports my statement from a previous thread about weight loss
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Should we get back together?
NO!
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It seems that a lot of hotel rooms have at least a fridge and a microwave. (At least, we try to get rooms with these two amenities). One strategy we use in that situation is to go out for pizza on Saturday, buy extra, then have leftover pizza again on Sunday.
That seems a little rough, I guess we will never be vacationing together.. :0)
Am I Justified to Leave for Lack of Love?
in Marriage and Relationship Advice
Posted
You are going to get a different answer from me than from other people on the board. I am going to make some assumptions.
1. You have actively tried to be a better husband aka you are nice to her you tell her she is pretty, you tell her what a wonderful wife she is, how great of a mother she is etc.
2. You and your wife have gone to therapy both together and separately, (sexual issues were discussed)
3. Sustained period means infrequent coitus, less than once a month (to me)
4. You are not a selfish pig in the bedroom and truly desire her pleasure.
5. You are not a troll/ haven't let yourself go physically
6. Your not addicted to porn....yes this is a turn off for women
I wouldn't worry so much about the bad thoughts, and I definitely wouldn't tell your wife about them. What would the point of that be? to create more hard feelings? I would say that you need to control those thoughts, that you need to put them aside. Hey your a guy I get it...sex is infrequent and the mind wanders it's normal, but lock it up, shut it down.
If you have done all of this and then tried ten times harder to make it work and your wife won't come around then yes get divorced.