sxfritz

The email is just because you now have a more effective bishop. Everyone is "asked" to attend every year, but it is voluntary. For the ward's annual report, the bishop "guesses" the status of members when they don't declare. I'd say about 60% of the active members attend. I've been clerk twice, so I've seen the process fairly close. 
 
Wish you well. Sounds like you are on the right track.

Great question!  We help the poor and needy in several very specific and direct/tangible ways.
 
* We collect fast offerings monthly. Most active members give something to the fast offering each month. We're asked for the cost of two meals (however we choose to judge that). We have been encouraged to give as much as we feel we can afford. I've seen small families give $100 and even $200 a month. I've seen people give a dollar, but most are about $15 to $20. Multiply that by a few million people a month.
* Those funds are distributed to members of the church at the discretion of the bishop. They pay for electric, medical, housing - on a short term/basis.
* The excess funds are given to the stake and the church in general, for use in the building and maintenance of "storehouses, canneries and farms",or to share with wards that don't cover their own local short-term needs.  We volunteer our time to work the canneries. I'm sure you can find a lot of info on this online. 
* We allow people to give to specific funds to help out in times of crisis. We mark our tithing slip for "Tornado in Arkansas", or "Japan Tsunami", and the money goes directly to the relief effort.
* Our church always helps the general community when there is a crisis. Both financially from Salt Lake, or physically by local or gathered Saints. 
 
Again, I am sure you can find a lot of info online at Mormon.org or just searching in general.

I view an organization as an entity so yes, I think organizations are expected to act responsibly in Gospel matters. We are at a greater strength to act as a group.  That does not absolve us individually.  As we become aware of opportunities to assist, we are obligated to act. 

Lilac,
I'm sorry this is occurring to you . . . . sometimes life just gives it to you no matter what you do.
 
From my experience tithing settlement is more of an accounting mechanisms so the church knows the percentage of full,partial or no tithe payers.  It's entirely self-reporting, i.e. you declare what you are. I've had Bishops call me up over the phone, it really is simple and quick.  And if you say no, the Bishop isn't going to pull your recommend.
 
Now, if you are up for your two year temple recommend interview, it might be a little different and I think the Bishop would want to help you.
 
As a side-note, your situation is one reason why I personally think 30 year mortgages are a bad idea.  One can be paying 100% fine for 29 years, hit a rough patch and then boom lose everything. An extremely painful process . . . .that nobody should go through. In today's world, the probability that an individual will have 30+ years without a rough patch is pretty small.

Don't be concerned about tithing settlement. You should go, and declare yourself as partial and not full, but there is nothing punitive.  I've not known a bishop to take back a recommend for anything except sexual sin or perhaps a criminal conviction, but certainly not for tithing.
 
Now, if your recommend is coming due, you will want to be honest at the recommend interview. The bishop and stake president have discretion to not issue a recommend, but they also have the discretion to issue one.
 
Start on a full-tithe as soon as you can. The clock starts as soon as you are able. You are not now in debt to the Lord. I'm not trying to Pontificate here. I'm not your bishop, but believe me, he isn't keeping that type of score. 

Our Church Leaders don't need to instruct us on every letter of doctrine or obedience. We are allowed to use common sense. Setting aside the garments was not my first suggestion. If it is "impractical" to wear the garments, then they can be excused. We don't wear them swimming, or during athletics, or in my case, I can't wear them with some work I do. We are instructed in the temple to "set them aside prayerfully". 
 
This is Missouri, not Spanish Fork. There won't be a scandal. A wedding is a big deal, hence so much emotion. The bride can be asked to accommodate the dress request, but if impractical, I wouldn't cause myself or anyone else stress over it. 
 
She not setting them aside to have sex. She's accommodating a friend.

Our Church Leaders don't need to instruct us on every letter of doctrine or obedience. We are allowed to use common sense. Setting aside the garments was not my first suggestion. If it is "impractical" to wear the garments, then they can be excused. We don't wear them swimming, or during athletics, or in my case, I can't wear them with some work I do. We are instructed in the temple to "set them aside prayerfully". 
 
This is Missouri, not Spanish Fork. There won't be a scandal. A wedding is a big deal, hence so much emotion. The bride can be asked to accommodate the dress request, but if impractical, I wouldn't cause myself or anyone else stress over it. 
 
She not setting them aside to have sex. She's accommodating a friend.

Marriage is a lot of work.... I bet you heard that before.
 
There is a lot of forgiving and overlooking things. 
 
Are there times when you feel misunderstood - that what you said isn't what he heard?  It is the same way for him. Even after 30 yrs of marriage, I have to tell myself that I misunderstood what my wife said and not take it personally. Even after 30 yrs of closeness, we're still trying to understand each other.
 
My parents thought my wife and I would never make it. We picked a hard row to hoe. But we've remained happily married longer than any other living family members. 
 
I wish I could say it gets easier, but it only changes. Issues change and you deal with the new issues. I'm glad you are wanting to make it work. Divorce is seldom a solution. It is generally only justified to break a cycle of abuse. With divorce, you only shift your problems, not solve them. 

Marriage is a lot of work.... I bet you heard that before.
 
There is a lot of forgiving and overlooking things. 
 
Are there times when you feel misunderstood - that what you said isn't what he heard?  It is the same way for him. Even after 30 yrs of marriage, I have to tell myself that I misunderstood what my wife said and not take it personally. Even after 30 yrs of closeness, we're still trying to understand each other.
 
My parents thought my wife and I would never make it. We picked a hard row to hoe. But we've remained happily married longer than any other living family members. 
 
I wish I could say it gets easier, but it only changes. Issues change and you deal with the new issues. I'm glad you are wanting to make it work. Divorce is seldom a solution. It is generally only justified to break a cycle of abuse. With divorce, you only shift your problems, not solve them. 

just thinking out loud here....sometimes its much easier to go with the grain then against.
 
the first 6 years of my marriage i always came home from work to a dirty messy home because our little child was a tornado. If my wife cleaned up the toys it would be all messy again an hour later. my wife was not good at organizing which didnt help the situation. I overcame this problem by lowering my expectations and accepting the fact that as long as we have kids under the ages of 10 in our home, the home will always be messy. Our youngest is 5 so 5 more years im expecting a consistently messy home.

If anything would save a marriage, I think true love and open affection helps. I remember reading a story about a woman who was going to be divorced had only one request, to be hugged/held everyday for a month, and afterwards if the husband still found divorce agreeable she would go along with it. People give and receive love in different ways, and when hostile arguments arise, love, charity, and compassion are proverbially pushed off the stage and replace with the actors of darker feelings. Marriage counselling would be ideal.
It will be hard for people on the internet to give you the advise and counsel you need. There could be more going on, and we don't know you personally, which makes things a little more difficult.
If divorce happens, allow yourself to go through the grief cycle. Most importantly find someone you can trust to help you through it.
Keep strong, now might seem like a dark time indeed
but along the horizon there will be a bright future shinning.

Addressing your original issue: There are different styles and fits. It also depends on size, fabric and shrinkage. I don't know that you could fit a dress to your garments unless you have a specific garment top to wear. My wife's experience shows that the newest styles are less concealing; meaning they conceal less of you and are better for fitting to modern dress. You won't get away from the need to have cap sleeves and you won't get a really low neckline. Some garment might peak out a bit on even a modest dress. 
 
My first comments were based on the stereotypical "bridesmaid" dress image. Everyone in same style and color and you sell the dress when you are done. If that were the case, I would go with what everyone else wears and not cause heartburn. But if you are buying a dress to wear regularly, then yes, I would put the extra effort in finding something you can "live" with.
 
Hope that helps.

Our Church Leaders don't need to instruct us on every letter of doctrine or obedience. We are allowed to use common sense. Setting aside the garments was not my first suggestion. If it is "impractical" to wear the garments, then they can be excused. We don't wear them swimming, or during athletics, or in my case, I can't wear them with some work I do. We are instructed in the temple to "set them aside prayerfully". 
 
This is Missouri, not Spanish Fork. There won't be a scandal. A wedding is a big deal, hence so much emotion. The bride can be asked to accommodate the dress request, but if impractical, I wouldn't cause myself or anyone else stress over it. 
 
She not setting them aside to have sex. She's accommodating a friend.

Our Church Leaders don't need to instruct us on every letter of doctrine or obedience. We are allowed to use common sense. Setting aside the garments was not my first suggestion. If it is "impractical" to wear the garments, then they can be excused. We don't wear them swimming, or during athletics, or in my case, I can't wear them with some work I do. We are instructed in the temple to "set them aside prayerfully". 
 
This is Missouri, not Spanish Fork. There won't be a scandal. A wedding is a big deal, hence so much emotion. The bride can be asked to accommodate the dress request, but if impractical, I wouldn't cause myself or anyone else stress over it. 
 
She not setting them aside to have sex. She's accommodating a friend.

It's a matter of judgement.
 
I remember a couple of years ago where a person posted that he was terrified that his new fiancee' might break up with him and that he'd be in hot water with the Bishop because he pleasured himself once in the shower.  And man, this guy came across as beside himself with stress and fear over it.  I don't know what part of that broke my heart more:  the fact that his discernment was in such a state of atrophy that he couldn't see that in a reasonable perspective, or the chance that his fiancee' might actually freak out about it so badly that she'd break off the engagement.  (I hope he was just being paranoid, but sheesh some people are so uptight his fears could have been justified.)
 
Guys... seriously... We're given discernment.  We're  given a library of scripture and a direct line to Heavenly Father through prayer and personal revelation.  We have a huge number of great and wonderful tools at our disposal and it seems like too often people want to just dump it on the Bishop 'cause he's got a cool title and runs things and if he says we're good then we must be.
 
I agree that  this would be a waste of the Bishop's time.  This is a chance to flex your own discernment muscles.  Pray about it, meditate about it, and unless it becomes a habit, let go of it and let your spirit grow.  Guilt is the single most effective weapon Satan can wield against us, and litigious thinking only makes it more powerful.

I've got a pretty anti-religion family. Even with it being Christmas, it won't make a difference (let's not even add in the fact that it's three hours of meetings). They are skipping a children's choir performance my cousin is playing piano/violin for on Christmas eve, even though the religious message will probably stop at the Christmas story and it should be short.
I am in the middle of building my testimony back up after being inactive for seven years, so skipping feels like it would be a step in the wrong direction for me.

You say that you know that you have been forgiven. If that is so, that part that many people get hung up on is forgiving themselves.
The part where you say you are constantly worried that the sin will comeback to haunt you is scary. Have you ever heard that what you think about expands? In other words if you keep worrying about this you could be creating a self full feeling prophecy. Be careful what you focus on.
Like others above have said, there are certain things that must be cleared up with the help of your bishop.
Hang in there, and be open to answers.

Repented or not, some sins can return to haunt us because that's life. I interpreted your fear as consequences of the sin popping back into your life.
So, think practically. What scenarios do you fear happening? Now think of ways to handle, prevent, or survive those.
Getting some basic plans will help.

I'm too lazy to do all that reading.  We don't drink coffee or tea (black or green) and we don't drink alcohol. When our Bishop asks us if we "obey the Word of Wisdom", as a qualifier as to if we are worthy of a temple recommend (worthiness is also required for some callings), we don't need to answer on anything other than the coffee/tea/alcohol qualification - anything beyond that is our personal choice and how we allow our food and drink to affect our personal spirituality.

I avoid it like the plague. Most are written by ex-members and are extremely virulent. It saps the Spirit right out of you and very unproductive. There is a lot of evidence in the forum of people whose testimony is lost from just reading that junk. Satan is powerful.  I don't play with him.
 
To Lucky4341, it would concern me if he did not want your child at church. Does he have an alternative?  I wouldn't mind my children going to another church, for the sake of religious education, but I wouldn't want them to have zero religion. Your personal salvation should always come first, then your children. Time will allow you to teach the Gospel by action. Don't be concerned that the way things are today are the way they will always be. All things are temporary. 

You should find acceptance of your broader faith within our faith. Our last church President encouraged people of all faiths to "bring what you have and we will add to it."  It was encourage you to continue in practice of your faith and worship as you learn of ours. I believe his statement was also to encourage members to be more tolerant of other faiths. In the past, it was perceived people were asked to put away the crucifix, or prayer shawl. I believe all forms of worship have value and need to be respected.
 
What you will find different is the LDS faith believes the practice of specific ordinances must be performed by authorized priesthood holders. This requires a devotion to the LDS faith above other "churches", but does not negate your practice of personal forms of worship - such as having a crucifix, Buddhist blessing flags, etc.

Regarding home teachers, you should make it known to your Priesthood leader(s) that your assigned home teachers are not coming, and that you wish to be given new ones.
Regarding your feeling that your ward doesn't care about you, you should set up a meeting and talk with your Bishop about this.
You come across as a very quiet, humble individual, which is good, but perhaps you ought to try to be a little more proactive in finding solutions to the issues you've raised. The people in your ward probably do not even know that you are feeling this way. Tell them. Start with your Bishop and your Priesthood leaders.
People who are hurting us often don't realize that they are doing so. They can't fix it if they don't know anything is wrong.

I've seen that picture, and all of you that have viewed it should immediately go to the Bishop and confess your total lack of any semblance of good taste and judgement.
 
Frankly it's about as prurient as the chairs in my office.

I've never heard this nor do I believe it. I think we should teach about other faiths, from a perspective of faith (i.e. as a Catholic would teach).  It is important for us to understand other's faith. It is instrumental in us effectively teaching our faith. I know I might have critics who would rightly say it is only important to teach the truth and the Spirit converts, but it is also important to not offend people of faith or unintentionally sound critical of them.
 
Slightly off topic of the temple rights topic, I know, but I generally agree with the other comments.
 
The definition of 'brainwashing' includes the component of "force", and that may be why some felt it offensive to be suggested they were brainwashed. The Endowment does not have the element of force, but for an uninformed, or unprepared young person to walk in and not feel empowered to walk out, they may feel they were forced (as I believe carter_kun expressed). 

is it? I didn't find it offensive, sounds like one persons opinion which I am in favor of talking about if it merits discussion. 
 
Going to the temple is just another step in the indoctrination process, (some will interpret this or take it the wrong way I  say it as a statement of fact and as one who is fully indoctrinated) which if you are BIC starts very early.
 
In response to the OP there is no shame in declining to go on your mission or putting it off until your testimony is stronger, and no shame in letting your leaders know about your experience and seeking help and further understanding about the covenants made and the obligations that are now expected of you as an endowed member.