Dove

Thanks, Vort; Yes, it leads to a quote by Joseph F. Smith~ A concept being discussed here on how the Savior was actually conceived. I think it was JAG who quoted it; but, said that it was no longer a doctrine of our church. However, he didn't provide evidence that it was no longer doctrine. So, I wonder what our belief on it is?

Bensalem, I have always understood that being the Savior's "spirit children" was more of an allegory than hard fact. Meaning, we became the Savior's spirit children when we accepted Him as the Savior and accepted the atonement in our lives. There is also the allegory of being "born again." Which is experiencing a change of hear to such an extent that the natural man dies within us and we are born to a new life of not desiring to sin anymore...You seem to be taking the reference of us being His "spirit children" literally, as though we were born of Him rather than our Heavenly Father. I respectfully disagree with this. Also, it makes perfect sense to me that the Savior married while here on earth, if I see it in the landscape our doctrine that, in order for one to receive the highest degree of the celestial kingdom, i.e., exaltation, one has to be sealed to a spouse for time and all eternity. This is a key doctrine to our religion. It strongly follows that the Savior would follow that requirement during His mortal life in order to fulfill all righteousness. I'm just curious, did anyone follow the link I provided about the identity of Mother in Heaven? It goes a great deal into what's being discussed here~ Just curious Dove

http://www.lds.net/forums/general-discussion/37237-identity-our-mother-heaven-7.html Vort, Here is a reference to a thread done last year that talks about our belief in Mary and how the Savior is the "only begotten Son" of the Father....this seemed to be appropo for what you are talking about.

Can someone help me find the official statement on whether or not the Savior was married? It was my understanding that an official statement was made some time ago that He was not married in this life? Am I wrong on this? Any takers? Thanks Dove

It seems to me that some very inappropriate comments, or comments that are a result of ignorance or from being mislead, are being asserted here... To me, much of the issue at hand is what I would call the "blame game." I.E., whose at fault for one not loving, or indulging in porn, or being unkind? We can also put that shoe on the other foot~Whose at fault for one overeating, or letting themselves become soo unhealthy, etc.? Well, whose fault is it?! We all need to take accountability for our choices....I am 300 lbs as I write this, yet I used to weigh 125 lbs. I was put on 2-3 different meds by my doctor that radically increased my appetite. I was soo hungry that I ate myself to this weight. Yeah, I chose to eat. Yeah, I had an insatiable appetite for a long time until my body adjusted to the meds. But, yeah, part of the reason I was able to lose weight until I weighed 125 lbs (before the meds) was because of bulimia. I have a lot of problems with food. We all have problems with different things/addictions/faults/failings. Admitting our faults/weaknesses/failings/etc., is a great first step in coming to the Savior in humility and applying His atoning blood for us to repent (change) and overcome our weaknesses. What I would say to anyone throwing stones at someone else for their particular set of weaknesses is; "Ye that is perfect, cast the first stone." Also, look at the beam in your own eye before you set about removing the mote in another's eye. Also, follow the golden rule. None of us appreciate someone acting "holier than thou," up on their "high horse," telling us what is all wrong with ourselves when their breath smells just as bad in the morning as ours. In other words, their faults are just as bad, even if not as obvious, as our faults. Frankly, I believe the atonement is a great deal about us being honest with ourselves, a lot through the Holy Spirit, about those things we need the Savior's grace/strength/blessing to repent of; meaning, to change our hearts and actions and to be healed. Focusing on, judging, belittling, putting down another, telling them their not worthy of our love, simply because of their particular set of faults and failings, is pointing a finger while the other three point back at us! It's just crazy, unfair and absolutely the opposite of what I believe the Savior teaches and exemplifies to us as being the pure love of Christ (Him). Ironically, it is the Savior who loves so perfectly, gracefully and willingly while having every reason, because of His perfection, to condemn us to a horrible hell or existence. Yet, because of His great love for us, He willingly suffered to an extent we cannot comprehend to rescue us instead and, if we come to Him fully and in humility, gives us a way out from our sins. Wonderful! Dove

Hello, First of all, I really appreciate the answers given so far to these questions! Anatess, thanks for giving that bit of information that Pres Monson didn't serve a mission...Wow, who knew? Luvmikds; These are difficult questions to answer, especially about sending one of His spirit children whom He loves to some third world country...I've thought about this myself, or also of the Jewish children in WWII who went insane because of the atrocities they witnessed at the hands of the German soldiers... What comforts me is my strong assurance that God does live and love me personally. And, if He loves me, it goes to follow that He loves all His children. He is still fair and just, merciful and kind...The children who suffer and die before the age of 8 are immediately exalted in the celestial kingdom...those who remain alive are not going to be held accountable for those situations that "broke" them, i.e., were too much for them to handle. I strongly believe that the Savior personally suffered every pain these children are being forced to suffer. That He understands perfectly what they are going through and will bless them accordingly in the hereafter. I have heard that as soon as a child who is suffering like this dies has their pain immediately taken away and healing occurs for them. I feel for your friend who has suffered severe abuse at the hands of his parents....I relate to what he's going through....As has been mentioned, God cannot change/intervene in someone's agency. However, God is not at fault for the evil people choose to do...He is not evil; but, good. Again, He just and merciful and we will all stand accountable for what we've done here on earth~inasmuch as we knowingly and willfully committed evil acts against others, we will have to answer to God for this. Your friend may want to try to find out if his parents were abused as well, and to see how many generations back it goes. Be an example of the Savior in your friends life. Love him, love him and love him more. Dove

One thought that came to my mind for the Op, is to be very careful. I've heard the statistic that a lot of women trying to leave an abusive relationship are killed by their abuser~ Not that you shouldn't leave; but, please get help. Have you called the police/pressed charges against the husband who is abusing you and your child? Use all your community resources to find a way of handling this very difficult/abusive relationship~Our society is a lot more aware of domestic violence and there are many resources you can go to to get out of this... Dove

Gratitude, to me, is becoming aware of how "worthless" I am and how totally dependent I am on the Godhead to exist and exist joyfully. Always giving the glory to God for anything I do that is good and positive. Always being happy and thankful to God for the good things that come my way... I'd like to share and experience I had today. I'm really bad at balancing the checkbook for my husband and me. This past week I've really made an effort to balance it correctly. I've checked it almost every night or day and have tried to check my own math on the calculator to make sure I was doing it correctly. Wouldn't you know, I blew it again and caused an overdraft in my account. I had just enough money to bring it over the negative; but, I also had scheduled a violin lesson today and I didn't have enough money to cover the lesson in addition to bringing my account to a positive balance. I didn't know what to do as it seemed to late to cancel my lesson. I was concerned and didn't know how I was going to solve this. Well, my husband and I walked out to the car to take care of the overdraft and to get ready to go to my lesson. As I walked around to my door, I noticed the glinting of the sun against some silver in the gutter right next to my door. As I looked closer, I saw all these coins in the mud. It seemed they were washed there from the heavy rain we've had the last few days. I was shocked to see the money. I called my husband over and he gathered all the coins together from the dirt and debris. He went down the whole gutter to see what other coins there were. When we counted the coins, there was a little more than what the lesson was going to cost. I believe this was a small miracle wrought on my behalf so that I could pay for that lesson. I believe the Lord knew that I had really tried to balance my checkbook and so blessed me in my best efforts, even though I had failed again to do it correctly. What glory and grace! I also felt the importance of acknowledging His hand in this and thanking Him. What a beautiful experience! Dove

Hello, Anamarzen; First of all, you are a beautiful person! Secondly, I agree with the post indicating that you struggle with depression....Also, be careful with what they prescribe you.....I had gotten down to 125 lbs (albeit partly due to bulimia. I also became too thin) when the doctors prescribed two different medicines that radically increased my appetite. I now weigh a little less than 300 lbs~The heaviest I've been in my life.....I blame the anti-depressants they put me on for the cause of me gaining soo much weight. It's sweet and comforting to see all the support here for you as you wage this battle...I'm waging my own with diabetes/high blood pressure/high cholesterol. These are life and death issues for me, besides being at risk for blindness. I feel, given my knowledge of these various health problems and what to do to help rectify them, that I am responsible to God, and myself, to a different dietary standard/exercise standard. I believe He holds me accountable, to a greater degree than normal, to take care of my physical body. Yes, we all should do this. But, for some reason, my consequences are greater if I don't....I was told in a priesthood blessing years ago that I had agreed in the pre-existence to have diabetes while here on earth....So, for my own greater good I am being held to a specific standard in taking care of my physical body.....I hope this doesn't sound too harsh...and I'm not sure why I typed this....I hope it helps you. If not, please disregard~ Some things that help me along is to strive to feel Gods' love for me and to love and forgive myself (as well as others) of those things I punish myself for/put myself down over. One day at a time. Please be really careful as you start to diet. I tend to eat a lot of junk food. I get sick and weak after a few weeks of dieting if I just cut down on eating the junk food. I'm hoping that if I replace junk food with healthy, whole grains, vegetables and some fruit, and everything else, including meat, sparingly, that I'll be able to not feel so weak or depleted from dieting.... I've also prayed to feel hope in life. To look forward to getting up the next day. To have something to look forward to do every day. I'm a rusty musician trying to get back into practicing my violin every day. I have also taken up the mandolin. It is so cathartic to apply myself to these disciplines. Very healing. I have very supportive and kind teachers of both the mandolin and violin. They're support is critical in helping me be gentle with myself as I train my muscles once more to play. Take it slow, take it easy, be gentle on yourself and, whatever you do, don't give up. You are such a beautiful and beloved daughter of God. Your weight is a manifestation of deep depression, imo. Try to get in touch with those issues, as well as doing the physical adjustments your doing to lose weight. When I pray for self-honesty and why I'm doing/feeling what I am, Heavenly Father always hears and answers my prayer to this effect. He opens up my mind to help me see and understand what and why I'm doing what I am more so. It's the best therapy I've ever had. In fact, I have felt more love/kindness/compassion/gentle guidance from the Spirit than from anyone else. Yes, I have been chastened a few times in my life. But, He always heals and loves me in the process. I find when I focus less on all the bad things I'm doing and more on doing positive things and feeling good about the efforts I'm making, that this inspires me to keep trying and to keep doing positive things in my life. It is so exciting to endeavor to do those things I know will make me happier, like music. I was a telemarketer for many years. It slowly killed my soul. I am much more artistic/creative than anything else. It gives me joy to be true to these things and encourages in me a love for life/living. What are your favorite things to do? What brings you joy in living life? Seek after those positive things. Focus on the good (you are quiet beautiful) in your life. Do those things that will bring you joy. i.e., living true to taking care of your temple (body, mind and spirit) while here on earth. You are soo worth it. Love yourself, love yourself and again, love yourself. In time, when you are ready, seek to love and help others in their journey of losing the negativity and self hatred we all seem to come to feel here in one degree or another... Best of wishes Dove

Hello, Tumbledquartz; I really relate to you. I have weighed over 300lbs in the last little while and am now at 300lbs...I'm on psychiatric disability. I'm a terrible housekeeper. My husband works long hard hours. He has mentioned to me his need to come home to a clean house. Yet, he strives say to always be kind. When he mentions his need for a clean house, he says it with love, respect, and gently assertion. My heart goes out to you. It seems to me that you question and doubt yourself and whether or not you deserve to be loved....Please let me reassure you, you do deserve to be treated with kindness and loving support. Now, I am not judging your husband or why he's behaving as he is. It's not mine to judge. But, I will say that he may not be capable of creating a safe environment for you to heal and grow in.... I am so lucky/blessed to have such a wonderfully, loving husband as I do. Yet, I know if he were mean to me or manipulative or whatever seriously negative attitude one would want to insert here, I couldn't stay with him. My own self-esteem is so low I couldn't bear it....A lot of people see me as the "loser" in our relationship. I can so easily see why. If my husband felt the same way, it would devastate me. I'm so glad he sees me as beautiful and worth loving. It helps me survive and thrive. Yes, he does want me to lose weight for my own health. He's worried because I have so many health problems that are complicated by my obesity. I know he has my happiness and longevity at heart. Please carefully consider whether or not this relationship is eroding your sense of worth and well being.....If it is, I would suggest soberly looking at whether or not you want to stay in a situation that is unsafe for your psyche. I'll keep you in my prayers. The best. Dove

Thank you, Dravin; I so appreciate you saying this. It is so empowering to think about being loving/charitable in the face of this... My husband and I talked about this tonight. His words opened my mind to more self awareness of my own anger/judgment/hurt. I realized that I thought I had a sincere friend in my life, when her actions are actually saying differently....I'm working on not judging her in return; but, rather letting myself mourn that she doesn't want friendship so much as perhaps just cordiality. I don't want to judge her for choosing this so much as bridling myself and loving her (respecting her need/desire to keep a distance) regardless. I feel like an emotional hemophiliac in the sense that I am so honest and vulnerable without regard to where another person is coming from. I leave myself open to easily being hurt. I am working on accepting myself where I am at, becoming more aware of another's cues in what they want to offer in relating to each other, and still being loving when what they want doesn't match what I wanted/expected/presumed. For some reason, as I write this, I feel like a burden is being taken off my shoulders. I don't know why.... All Apologies, thank you for your prayers. I am feeling a heightened sense of self awareness of my weaknesses in a very positive way....I'm sure your prayers have had a hand in this. As far as the feeling of not being safe goes, I've been reading my scriptures more and had a wonderful sense of being safe today. I wonder if part of the lack of feeling safe has come from my own spiritual peril in not turning to/trusting God more fully in my life. It's a daily thing, like eating. Also, I may not be fully safe in some situations I put myself in, like sitting out on the lawn late at night smoking. I have nowhere else to smoke; but, that may be part of the warning I'm receiving. I'm attempting to quit smoking again on a medication like Chantix. It's Wellbuitron. I've been on it before and it doesn't mess with me like Chantix came to do.....I'm really trying to take this seriously and prep myself to quit for good. Again, a lot of introspection as to why smoking is such a crutch for me. As for the pot smoking~I haven't smelled it since that night. I am soo relieved! So grateful it's not in the apartment building anymore..... Last of all, please, if anyone has input on how to discern the voice of the Spirit vs. the adversary/ones' own feelings/other things, please tell me...I feel that I'm getting better at identifying the promptings of the Holy Ghost; but, I have really struggled with this. There have been time periods in my life where I was really mislead. After years of following the wrong path, I was finally miserable enough to realize I was doing it. I'm trying to not be mislead again. Thanks so much, Dove

Actually, I do get warnings quite a bit......I heard "danger" when I loaned money to a person who never paid me back.....I needed that money and should never have done it. So, I think of that now when I hear the word "danger." Also, I hear "trials" quite a bit and they do come true. However, Miss Halfway, I like what you are saying, especially in your last paragraph. It's interesting that you would quote the hymn of "Come, come ye Saints." Very appropo for me....I have been frustrated lately because I so often hear the words "be wise," yet with no idea how to practically apply that to my thoughts or choice of actions....Or I'll hear the word "consequences" often, like there are consequences to my actions or thoughts....Yet, they are not specific or clear in their meaning.... There has been fall out as a result of how I reacted to the situation I first wrote this about. Another neighbor from another apartment is now quite angry with me....She hasn't said anything; but, basically the look on her face, her body language and how she ignores me now says volumes. It hurts and saddens me. It seems that she was harboring negativity towards me already and this last incident has become her justification to turn away from me. I'm not quite sure what to do. Most of all I don't have very good self-esteem or confidence in knowing how to handle this situation. I'm trying to talk my way through the hurt...with not much success.

Thank you, Palerider; I am meeting with my bishop this Sunday and will have an opportunity to get one then~ Priesthood blessings are the best!

PS; Yes, my husband works and I am disables. So I'm home alone quite a bit~

Thanks for all the input, Everyone; Yes, these people are just young college students who are low key and seem really nice. Part of my fear isn't so much them as it is who they might be associating with that could come here. Like a drug dealer... Yes, I've prayed in my heart about this a few times. One sense I get now is to be "wise." I feel frustrated in the sense that I don't know what the danger is or what I need to do to be wise....Yes, the pot smell was strongest last night. I think the sour/acrid smell was coming from something they were using to cover it up? I feel the Spirit as I write this to continue praying about what might be wrong. My husband agrees with LMM, that if this is the worse they are doing, to let it be...maybe this is the best course of action right now. Also, I've thought of knocking on their door/talking to them and asking them to not smoke pot in the building. To take it outside in the back. Our building entryway is not very wide.....so the smoke can really build there and be strong.. Thanks so much for the input/support/kindness. It does my heart well... Dove

Hi Elegreen; First, I'm sorry that you are having such a difficult time with your marriage. My heart goes out to you. I hope what I say will help you either with what you are going to choose to do or just as a comfort.... It sounds like to me that he has a lot of problems with pornography, stealing, lying, etc. Wow, that would be very difficult for me to deal with in a spouse.... Some thoughts. First of all, you did the best you knew how when you married him~His choosing to sin cannot screw your life up, in an eternal sense, unless you allow it to bring you to sin or fall short of your divine potential....As I say this, I also think how easy that is for me to say....Believe me, I have fallen short of this counsel many a time, to my sorrow. I would say, work on loving yourself more. Forgive yourself of the decision you made to marry him. Don't take responsibility for his sins. Love and take care of your children. Let him take care of himself and take responsibility for his faults and failings. Don't stay with him out of guilt or fear of what he'll do if you live. Don't be his therapist, even if you are trained in this area. You are his wife. Let him seek his own therapy/help. Let him take accountability for his life. Please note, I am not necessarily telling you to seek a divorce. Actually, I'm trying to give you ideas on how to be happy while you're married to him. Have you thought of fasting and praying/going to your own therapist/asking for counsel from your bishop concerning this? Seek support/loving interchanges for what you're going through. There is actually a program for spouses of those with addictions, if you're interested in going. My loved dearly sister-in-law used to tell me that if I wasn't happy being single, I wouldn't be happy being married. I'm saying this to you, that it's your responsibility to make yourself happy. It's also your husbands' responsibility to make himself happy. Let go and let God. Maybe if you disengage from your husband (a mini vacation, just you and your kids, or emotionally creating a distance) you may be able to see this in a clearer light, without feeling guilty about him.... Just my .02 cents/ Best of wishes/prayers for you Dove

I've been getting impressions lately that I'm in "danger." I'm not sure what source this is coming from; but, I've been feeling/hearing it now several times....Also, how much crime there is where I'm living now (Salt Lake City). Tonight, I smelled a strong and potent smell of marijuana smoke in my apartment building.....I'm pretty certain it is coming from the new tenants that moved in about a week ago....I have smelled quite a sour smell in the building for the past week. Tonight was the first time I could really identify it as "pot." These feelings/impressions that I'm in danger have also been coming for about a week now. I called my property manager and then the police office~I was really worried as there was only one other tenant in the building besides me and the apartment with the pot. I know they would blame me for turning them in...The police did nothing but drive by (to my relief) and my property manager won't be contacting me until later today. I don't know what to do. I've talked to my husband about it. He feels I shouldn't live in fear. I do worry quite a bit about various things. He says that he doesn't feel the people in that apartment would do anything bad to me or worse than smoking the pot. He also feels that I shouldn't fear regardless. To trust in God. I wish I could feel better. I really dislike the feeling of being around drug use. Also, how do I cope with these feelings of not being safe? Do I demand that we move? Simply pray for protection? Stay away from the ones smoking pot as much as possible? Thanks for any input and kind advice. Dove

Hello, Kevleb; I don't know what your husband is doing behind your back. But, from what you have related, he is getting increasingly violent towards you. I am really concerned for your safety and am unsure of what he'll do next..... While being active in the church is certainly important, my first concern is for your (and your childrens') safety and well-being. With all I can say, I would say that you run, run away from a husband who is showing that he is willing to throw things at you to manipulate and hurt you. Get into a safe place. Then think about building your testimony..... Dove

Hey Vort, Sorry, I wasn't intending to accuse you of being insulting or rude. Yeah, it was only a mistake to call him a girl. I feel bad because that assumption probably embarrassed him more when he was already expressing quite a bit how embarrassed he felt by what his mom had said to him......feelings of a young person who probably doesn't have the best handle on how to deal with feelings of humiliation and being punished for an act that was younger then his years. Is there a therapist in the house? I wish I had better tools in knowing how to treat others with emotional difficulties. I certainly have my own problems. Yet, sometimes in relating to others I wish I knew how to in a kind and patient way that invited them to feel safe and accepted.

I believe Dogemily has left the thread. While I do agree with what's been said for the most part, I feel bad that he was called a girl and accused of being a troll.....He sounds like a very immature teenager who needs our gentle yet firm advice and mostly, a lot of love. He sounds pretty frustrated to be willing to come here and vent. It's sad to think this was the only place for him to do so.....While I'm not at all intimating that he's in an abusive home, I am worried for him....There is a reason he is as immature as he is. He needs our love and support along with our adult chastening.

Hello, Confused; My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you are having a difficult time. I am reminded of some scriptures in the Bible~ Matt 10:32-39; 32 Whosoever therefore shall aconfess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. 33 But whosoever shall adeny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven. 34 Think not that I am come to send apeace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. 35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. 36 And a man’s afoes shall be they of his own bhousehold. 37 He that aloveth father or mother bmore than me is not worthy of me: and he that cloveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And he that taketh not his across, and followeth after me, is not bworthy of me. 39 aHe that findeth his life shall blose it: and he that closeth his dlife for my sake shall find it. Also, 1 John 4:18; There is no afear in blove; but perfect clove casteth out fear: because fear hath dtorment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. Some more thoughts and ideas...don't feel bad about how you react with the missionaries. I believe they carry the Spirit with them and that you are yearning to feel that Spirit/Love more, which is in part why you are so drawn to them.....Please forgive yourself and move on....Miss Halfway is right, you can go back to the LDS church and attend our meetings to study more..... Most importantly, I would invite you to soberly study the Book of Mormon and pray. This is one way I draw close to God and feel His direction in my life. Please utilize this tool in drawing closer to our Father in Heaven and His Son Jesus Christ. Strengthen and fortify yourself. You are in an extremely difficult situation where, in order to follow your belief in the LDS church you are required to sacrifice a great deal. Don't focus on the "history" as much as focusing on feeling, and following, the promptings of the Holy Ghost. I believe that you are feeling these promptings with how drawn you seem to be to the LDS church. You keep coming back searching for something. Have you ever received a priesthood blessing? Fasting, praying and then getting a priesthood blessing is a powerful way to open the Heavens' to receive answers to your prayers.....Please contact the bishop in the ward your in and request a visit with him to get a blessing.... Also, there are many people who earn money working for our church. Seminary teachers and those who work at the church office building. More importantly, if you are true to God and the promptings/guidance He is giving you to come back to the LDS church, He will be true to you in not forsaking you in your need(s) to support yourself. Perhaps you can find an alternate form of work, or be lead by Him to something in your field... Lastly, I want to bear testimony to you that I know the Holy Ghost is real and has answered many of my prayers. I know the power of the priesthood in the Church of Jesus Christ of LDS is the power of God here on earth.....I have had many priesthood blessings throughout the years that confirm this.....I know the covenants I made before/with God at the time of my baptism and going through the temple are authentic in that they are recognized by God....The LDS church is His church. Of this I am sure.... Lastly, be true to yourself and the promptings you have been given. I know, given your circumstances, that this must be very difficult for you to do. However, being one of the Saviors' true disciples has never been easy; but, very worth it..... Dove

I had an associate many years ago who taught me that life is a "want to." I really believed in this because at times I felt I was treated like a service project/duty by other people....Whose hearts weren't into it and efforts seemed to be more for some unforeseen reward/fear of punishment then just sincerely loving me in that moment...."to serve" and to "do things out of a sense of duty" I tend to view as 4 letter words now.... I really appreciate what Annewandering wrote. If and when I serve/fulfill my duty to our Heavenly Father, I want to do it simply because it is so worth it to do...To love others just because they are so worth loving. To do my visiting teaching/nursery calling because it's all about truly loving others. To me, this means sincerity and being open to the joy that can be found there. I remember the short time I served in nursery with much fondness. I love the children there. I also remember visiting teaching fondly and the friends I found when I consistently fulfilled that calling. In the end, doing these things surely enriched my life and gave me comforting memories of good and positive experiences. Dove

Hello, Miss Halfway; I have a quote in my front room that I really like; "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." Thanks for pointing this out. Something I'm trying to learn to do, too...

Hello, searching_questioner; It's funny how little I agree with the first paragraph of your post.....I apologize if saying that is rude~I do not mean to contend or cause contention... The reason I say I disagree is a lot because of what I have read in the scriptures. As I've already referenced, a great deal of those scriptures come from 2 Nephi 2~ Please feel free to read this chapter carefully, as I feel it may give you a better understanding as to my stance. The whole chapter is focused on the necessity of Adams' fall and, because of the fall, the necessity of the Savior and His atonement for us.... starting with verse 10-11; "And because of the intercession for all, all men come unto God; wherefore, they stand in the presence of Him according to the truth and holiness which is in Him. Wherefore, the ends of the law which the Holy One hath given, unto the inflicting of the punishment which is affixed, which punishment that is affixed is in opposition to that of the happiness which is affixed, to answer the ends of the atonement. For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my first-born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad......." According to the passages that follow, one of the key reasons we are given opposition here on earth is so that we could experience having a choice between good or bad, or to have "agency." verse 16; "Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other." Then verses 23-28 underscores the points I've already presented; 22 And now, behold, if Adam had not transgressed he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden. And all things which were created must have remained in the same state in which they were after they were created; and they must have remained forever, and had no end. 23 And they would have had no achildren; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no bjoy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no csin. 24 But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who aknoweth all things. 25 aAdam bfell that men might be; and men care, that they might have djoy. 26 And the aMessiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may bredeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are credeemed from the fall they have become dfree forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the elaw at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given. 27 Wherefore, men are afree according to the bflesh; and call things are dgiven them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to echoose fliberty and eternal glife, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be hmiserable like unto himself. As far as your question to me, hmmm, the scriptures mainly, events in my life and what some people have said to me. I believe some things to be the will of God for me, that there are no "set of random events," and that there are many "cunning plans" laid by the adversary to ensnare me, which a kind and wise Heavenly Father allows in order to honor my agency and, if I choose to turn to Him and trust in Him, turns to my own eternal welfare and good. I think of Ether 12:27; "And if men come unto me, I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble: and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." Why do I believe there is nothing random? Doctrine and Covenants 59:21; "And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is His wrath kindled, save those who confess not His hand in all things, and obey not His commandments." There's another thread being discussed right now in this section about God not giving us more then what we can handle, which is another scripture quote......(Personally, what with all the atrocity in the world, I believe rather that He will not hold us accountable for those things we cannot handle.) I've heard testimonies of people who say that they have come to know that all events of their life have been carefully orchestrated by a kind and loving Creator....I also had another person tell me that "there are no accidents" in life. Given the few scriptures I just quoted, I choose to believe them.... Dove

Forgive yourself, don't blame yourself for your wifes' infidelity, let go and let God. Find your way to Him......You say you are lost. Focus on getting your "stuff" together before worrying about saving your marriage. You said you have been quite depressed. Get treatment/help. Through the atonement and His grace, feel your absolute worth and value. Through Him, love yourself. Love yourself. Love and forgive yourself.....