seashmore

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Everything posted by seashmore

  1. One of my roommates is also one of my best friends. He really is like the brother I never had*. (One of his sisters has been my roommate for years.) We tease each other mercilessly, but when it comes down to it, we watch the same tv shows. He has been working the last few years to prepare to serve a mission (I used to call him my "summer brother" because he lived with us for a summer to earn money). Although he has faced a few setbacks along the way, he seems determined to go, and I often get excited when I think about him receiving his own endowment. Out of the four of us who live here (soon to be five), he and I are the only ones who are active in the Church, and we both have a mixed bag of activity when it comes to family. Our dad's are both temple workers, but our mom's have both abandoned the Gospel. His oldest sister has a good grasp on managing an eternal family of 8, and his youngest sister is soon returning from her mission. I bring all this backstory to the table with the hopes to show how I feel about him. He's a little Opie, I'm a little Aunt Bea, I guess. He's been dating the same girl for about six months now. They met at their previous job and have a few mutual friends, but she is not a member. I like her well enough, but I've gotten the feeling that she might not actually be all that good for him. About six weeks ago, we had a pretty bad snowstorm that forced three of our house associates to stay the night. They stayed in his room together, and I trust them enough to have behaved. Also, my room is directly below his. She's been staying over more often lately, presumably because we live much closer to her job than her parents, although it hasn't been outright brought to my attention. She and I talked a few nights ago about sometimes getting our shoes confused in the morning (our feet are at least three sizes smaller than anyone else's and we both wear all black sneakers to work) and I chatted with her on her way out the door Tuesday morning. It's clear that I know she stays. She stayed last night, and I heard more bed squeaks than I normally do. The squeaks were soft, but suspect. Because of my personal past with trying to blur the law of chastity and the brotherly affection I have for him, I'd like him to avoid that kind of trouble. I'm just not sure how to bring it up without bringing tension/contention into the home. Any advice on how to do that/what to say? Or should I just turn a deaf ear and blind eye? *Please don't launch judgement at me for living in mixed company.
  2. Due to weather restrictions (it was 8 degrees F at noon today), I'm thinking something indoors will benefit me best. My roommate reminded me some YSAish folks get together Thursday nights for volleyball at a stake center and I start a curling league this Friday. (Hopefully, I haven't heard anything one way or the other, but I did pay my dues and will be perfectly content if they let me throw stones by myself if there's no team for me.) In the meantime, I'll search for a good short yoga routine that I can do in a small space. Once I get into a regular exercise routine, I'll set more specific goals for my nutrition. Right now, it's just: eat more veggies and consume less sugar. My psoriasis seems to be triggered more by stress than nutrition, and I do plan on seeing a dermatologist/doctor about it this quarter to help me manage it. The depression is seasonal (usually; this year came with mitigating circumstances). If you're familiar at all with the spoon theory, I get fewer spoons a day in January than I do in August. I'll start the food journal in the morning. Mostly because I don't eat before bed!
  3. *shrug* I see no problem with both being an accurate reason. There's also a fair amount of scripture that doesn't get covered at all in GD manuals.
  4. Thanks for your willingness to help out! I have a cousin and a couple old YSA friends I follow on IG that share tips I pretend to incorporate into a healthy lifestyle. One thing I've learned from them is that if a plan/routine doesn't work with you, it's not going to work for you. My cousin is really big into tracking, accountability, and maintaining a positive outlook on the long term end goal. The YSA friend/spouse do Cross Fit and have a YouTube channel devoted to counting macros. I watched like three before I felt like I was clued in. Anyway, one of them shared something I've actually been able to incorporate, and that is to not allow yourself to have two "bad" meals in a row. Like, if you give in to McD's for lunch, make sure supper is healthy. Not because the nutrition balances out, but because it keeps the good habits on top. I can stick to a complete overhaul for about the space of a pay period, definitely not long enough to make any sort of difference. I know this about myself, which is why I focus on small and simple things to change. I'm really good at staying hydrated, though. Have been drinking at least 32 oz of water most days since high school/the last 15 years. 1. On a minimum weekly basis, I could commit to a total of three fifteen minute workouts. Two out of three weeks, I can do more, but I work late shifts every third week so my schedule is thrown off. 2. Between lethargic depression, a big bust, and psoriasis flare ups under skin folds that make movement painful (it's the same sensation as chapped lips) I avoid high impact exercises. 3. Yes
  5. I prefer to call them "goals" instead of "resolutions," anyway. And, as soon as I'm done here, I'm off to that weight loss group. I'm the heaviest I've ever been and would like not to be. I tend to gain weight when I'm depressed, which I was most of 2018. Things are looking as up as they can be (I took all my Vitamins today, so that helps) and I signed up for curling, which is good physical activity. Or at least more physical activity than I get walking around the office and the house every couple of hours. Once our basement is finished and I can make enough space, I'm going to start doing yoga/pilates/tai chi to improve my flexibility/strength. I'm too busty to be comfortable with high impact exercise. Other goals of mine are hard to pin down right now. I think I'm going to try and journal/blog more, at least once a week, as practice and to hone my writing skills a bit. I have an urge to be a published author someday, and that can't happen until I write something!
  6. That's what was in my line of thinking when I looked over the new CFM manuals for next year, especially the one for Primary. I've been teaching in this manner since I've started teaching in the Church. Almost every Church manual I've used has said somewhere in the introductory materials something like "We've given you more information in each lesson than you could possibly cover in one class period. Prayerfully read everything and ponder which points will best benefit your class members." The undertone being: we're making this for the whole world, so we have to include more than you can use. My lesson prep pattern, whether I was teaching RS, YSA Gospel Doctrine, YW, or Primary is to read the purpose of the lesson, then the scriptures/talks, then the lesson manual, and come up with one talking point/idea for every 5-10 minutes of class. How I present those points changes based on source and audience. I'm going to teach the OT to YSAs differently than I teach gospel principles to Sunbeams. Personally, I struggle learning when I don't have an opportunity to share that knowledge. It's almost as if learning it to help just myself isn't worth the effort, but if I'm learning it so I can help someone else get it, I'm all in. This is why I am really glad that the manuals across all auxiliaries will follow the same schedule as the one for home use; I'm teaching Primary so I know that reading the CFM:INF has the potential to provide insights for my lessons using the CFM:Primary manual. The quote by Elder Bednar and the first paragraph under the heading "I Need to Know the Truth for Myself" reminded me of this quote from Bruce R. McConkie's final conference address: The Purifying Power of Gethsemane. Which, honestly, I think sums up the whole lesson for me. (Fun fact: this line comes to my mind every time I hear "Confidence" by Sanctus real on the radio.) Since the OP was about this week's lesson, I assume it's not off topic to share how I'll be teaching this to my four year olds. (Everything is an adaptation of the material in the manual.) The CMF:P encourages teachers to use the same pattern for teaching: invite sharing, teach the doctrine, encourage learning at home. My plan is to start every lesson/week by asking/inviting the children to share something they remember from the scriptures, either at church or at home. (I actually had an Institute teacher that did this, and it was very effective, even if the insight or question shared by the student wasn't initially related to his prepared lesson.) After this, I will introduce the idea that scriptures are a gift with some kind of activity (haven't pinned one down yet). I picked up some treasure boxes from the party favor aisle and will give each child one to decorate and take home and keep one for the class with the purpose to fill it with scriptures throughout the year. Because the scriptures are a gift/treasure.
  7. Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something. My mom's parents both passed when I was in high school, about two years apart. My dad's parents have both passed in the last two years. They both raised seven kids (and had 13 grandkids) with an 8th grade education and one salary. It's been interesting to compare the similarities and differences between their stories, and I feel like I learned more about them after their death than I did while they were alive. It's also been interesting to see what their children have done and said to those they love while they are/were grieving and struggling. Thinking about it, I am often reminded of some lyrics from a song I'll post at the end: "You put on a happy face for everybody new, but the closest to your heart so rarely get the best of you." It's about how those who know you best know the most painful ways to hurt you, and misery loves company. When my own parent's divorced, I remember my dad bearing the brunt of the blame because he had cheated on my mom. As I've grown older, I've obtained insight as to how my mother was not entirely blameless in the situation. Yes, his extramarital affair was the capstone, but her selfishness and stubbornness made home an unpleasant place for him. Matters were not helped any by the fact that she insisted on working outside the home. My dad worked nights because there was a pay differential, and my mom worked for a fast food restaurant, moving her way into management, so her hours were varied. They were rarely home together, and we were rarely home together as a family. Maybe once a week. They worked so hard for all of this money, which was spent how? On cable, babysitters, and mom's smoking habit. If she had put half as much effort into being a good wife and mother as she put into being a good employee, they might have been able to make things work. (Although I often joke it would always be a house divided, since my dad only drinks Coke products and my mom only drinks Pepsi.) Do I excuse my dad's choices at that time? No. Have I forgiven him? Absolutely. (Having a wonderful sister come out of the mess certainly helped.) Do I excuse my mom's lifelong choice to put work above all else (even her own health)? No. Have I forgiven her? Lots of times. Unfortunately, it's an offense that I have to continuously forgive because it's an offense that is continuously made. Sometimes it takes longer than others.
  8. I would change one thing: you should encourage the cheater to confess. Otherwise, you end up in the middle.
  9. Sorry to hear of this. I worked with a few people who knew a mass shooter ten years ago, and it's changed my perspective on such events. I hope you and all who knew him feel peace and mercy at this time.
  10. I don't send cards. I'm a bit of a Scrooge/Grinch. Anyway, I'm only chiming in to say that my aunt's way of doing Christmas cards/mailings is my favorite. (She's skipped a few years, but is pretty regular.) She worked in the publishing department of a university and my uncle taught Phsyics at a community college, so their letter was in the form of a multiple choice quiz where every answer was correct. I always thought it was kind of cute, and you don't have to come up with as much to say because the format provides a lot of filler for you. A lot of years, they send out a Peace Corps calendar, too. (My uncle served.) Example What happened when we visited Disney World? A. Jerry and Ren took lots of selfies in line. B. Susan got dehydrated and almost fainted. C. Andrew ran into his college roommate, who was dressed as Mickey Mouse. D. We all got soaked on the log ride.
  11. My vote is to do both of your future selves a favor and break it off for good. Save his number as "NO!" so you know not to pick up or reply. Tell him exactly why you are ending the relationship and avoid saying anything about "maybe in the future if..." Write him a letter if you have to. It may hurt him now, but it will hurt both of you much worse if you continue down the path you're on right now. I also recommend you work on doing what you need to do in order to feel emotionally available again. (Said the pot to the kettle.) Otherwise, you're keeping yourself open to entering this same situation again. Look for someone who helps you overcome temptations, not give in to them.
  12. Found another great talk last night. It has a lot of focus on how to regard the temple and the ordinances performed therein. It originally addressed the endowed brethren, but much of the application here is universal. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1990/04/keeping-the-temple-holy?lang=eng
  13. Definitely meet with your bishop to get solid answers. I don't know how long he will make you wait, but I practically guarantee he will encourage you to cease the inappropriate touching. Follow the guidelines outlined in the For the Strength of Youth. Something he may ask you (and I suggest you ask yourselves) is if you have "intended to get married for a long time," why haven't you? I suggest each of you start preparing individually to receive your own endowment. Grunt just started a lovely thread about this recently that is full of resources to help out.
  14. I was just thinking about you and this topic the other day! Another resource not yet mentioned is the special "Temples" issue of the Ensign. (Oct 2010) The article by then-apostle-now President Nelson has some specific scriptures to read, study, and ponder. It's a large excerpt of this article he wrote in March 2002. Someone mentioned talking to your stake or ward's temple prep teacher, and if you don't know who that is (or your ward/stake doesn't have one assigned), contact your bishop. I was very blessed to prepare for mine when I did. I was the first person in my YSA ward to prepare/receive them not in conjunction with a mission or sealing. At the time, we did not have any temple prep classes or teachers, and my bishop decided to assign my RS President and one of her counselors to teach me the lessons. (I was the RS Secretary at the time, and they were/are good friends of mine.) Because I was the only one taking the class, they/we received permission to do the lessons in the RSP's home, which was about 6 blocks from my apartment. We met Sunday evenings, and I always chose to walk because it gave me time to ponder the lessons.
  15. I agree with you 1000% Once upon a time, I noticed someone a few rows ahead of me pass the tray down the row without reaching in. As mentioned in the article, I wondered for a flash what his reason might have been since he had always seemed to be a little bit of a "Peter priesthood." I decided that since I didn't know why he was passing it up, I would pray for him, that he might have strength and courage to overcome whatever he was up against. I did that every week for probably about a month, and the joy that I felt when my brother in Christ finally took the sacrament surprised me a little bit. I think it gave me just the slightest idea of how Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ feel when we repent and fully turn our lives toward the straight and narrow.
  16. Please don't take this as my calling you out personally, but the posted schedule is for the business, not the customers or workers. if the restaurant/retail establishment closes at, say, 9:00, then they have every right at 9:00 to say, "We are now closed, and you have to leave," regardless of whether or not you have received the goods/service you hoped to receive. They most often don't, because making money is important. Also, sometimes labor is allotted based on sales per hour, so they may allow a sale to justify keeping their employees there for more time. Whenever I worked food service and closed, it usually didn't bother me if people came in 10, 15 minutes before close. I usually had enough work to do around them that it didn't impede my closing duties schedule/routine. But I would vacuum you out if everything else was just about done. The people there immediately at open bothered me more, mostly because they expected full hilt service the moment the door was unlocked. Heard a rumor that Old Chicago has a limited late night menu so they can keep that cash coming in while employees work on pre-closing duties in the kitchen. In other viewpoints, having customers stay past closing (food and/or retail) can be a safety and liability issue for the employees, especially the one doing the nightly deposit. A grill and fryer should be completely cooled before leaving (ya know, cuz hot stuff can turn into fire) and most employees working nights in food service are minors, which puts them under labor laws that vary by state. Influencing my thoughts on this topic are: I worked for three chain restaurants in 7 locations (3 states), my mom managed a different chain restaurant while I was growing up (and most of my friends worked for her), my sister has been a store manager for one chain for 7 years (5 locations, 3 states), and I live with roommates who have a combined 15 years retail experience, including 5 years management. We were just having a discussion the other night wherein we all agreed that arriving five minutes before closing for anything more than a quick in-and-out is a dick move.
  17. Please don't take this as my calling you out personally, but the posted schedule is for the business, not the customers or workers. if the restaurant/retail establishment closes at, say, 9:00, then they have every right at 9:00 to say, "We are now closed, and you have to leave," regardless of whether or not you have received the goods/service you hoped to receive. They most often don't, because making money is important. Also, sometimes labor is allotted based on sales per hour, so they may allow a sale to justify keeping their employees there for more time. Whenever I worked food service and closed, it usually didn't bother me if people came in 10, 15 minutes before close. I usually had enough work to do around them that it didn't impede my closing duties schedule/routine. But I would vacuum you out if everything else was just about done. The people there immediately at open bothered me more, mostly because they expected full hilt service the moment the door was unlocked. Heard a rumor that Old Chicago has a limited late night menu so they can keep that cash coming in while employees work on pre-closing duties in the kitchen. In other viewpoints, having customers stay past closing (food and/or retail) can be a safety and liability issue for the employees, especially the one doing the nightly deposit. A grill and fryer should be completely cooled before leaving (ya know, cuz hot stuff can turn into fire) and most employees working nights in food service are minors, which puts them under labor laws that vary by state. Influencing my thoughts on this topic are: I worked for three chain restaurants in 7 locations (3 states), my mom managed a different chain restaurant while I was growing up (and most of my friends worked for her), my sister has been a store manager for one chain for 7 years (5 locations, 3 states), and I live with roommates who have a combined 15 years retail experience, including 5 years management. We were just having a discussion the other night wherein we all agreed that arriving five minutes before closing for anything more than a quick in-and-out is a dick move.
  18. The first is TSO, as @mirkwood mentioned. Specifically "Christmas Eve in Sarajevo." My favorite of theirs, though, is "Christmas Canon." If you ever get a chance to see them live, DO IT! @SilentOne does having two posted today make up for it?
  19. At the risk of derailing discussion, the Husker fandom is one of the most fascinating out there. I'm sure there's books out there. If not, I may have to write one myself!
  20. FWIW: in the state of Nebraska, you are not considered an adult until you are 19. You can still vote and join the military, but you can't sign any legal documents unless you have been married/emancipated until you are 19. I had to pretend to be my sister's guardian to get her treated for kidney stones at the ER because it was easier than explaining she was 18 and married. @Tyme Anyway, I've had coworkers turn to vaping instead of cigarettes. To my understanding, there are different levels of vapes that correlate to the amount of nicotine, so in theory, you should be able to use vaping to wean yourself off the substance if cold turkey doesn't work. The 12 step program your bishop referred to isn't the standard AA program, but incorporates many principles. https://addictionrecovery.lds.org/steps?lang=eng If you're feeling discouraged about slipping up, just remember that the addiction didn't happen overnight, so the recovery won't, either.
  21. @JohnsonJones Tuesday 7:30 pm at Winter Quarters. About a month ago, we closed male and female initiatories and sent all the workers on a session because there was no one who showed up for our 6:00 session. @KScience curious to see if there is a pattern @Fether I feel like I see more female patrons in initiatories on the weekends than weeknights. Of course, some of those are doing that while their husbands/youth are doing baptisms.
  22. I'm back being a temple ordinance worker again! This week, one of our sessions had a ratio that was 10:1 female:male. Not even exaggerating or rounding: there were ten women (four were already working there) and one man (also a temple worker who had the assignment of patron that session) At first, it was hard for me to suppress the giggles. I managed, and the thought came to me that this is why I'm single; I would not be surprised to learn that the number of temple attending women far surpasses the number of temple attending men.
  23. I had the missionaries over to help me move furniture or something, and Elder P walks in, sees my roommate's family picture on the bookcase, points to her brother and says, "I know that guy!" Not realizing he had just transferred into our branch, I assumed it was because that brother had just left after staying with us for the summer (to earn money for his mission). Nope, apparently Elder P had lived in the same New Hampshire stake as my roommate's family and they were in the same trek family. Most of my "small church" stories don't involve missionaries.
  24. Also, you could do either a youth speaker OR musical number/rest hymn, whichever works best that week.