seashmore
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Posts posted by seashmore
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On February 28, 2018 at 3:33 PM, Zeniff said:
So from here, we just started meeting with the bishop and soon the stake president and therapist. We need a lot of help. I am wondering if I should stay with her or leave. I think I should stay because I do love her but I know I would rather not be alone too. We are both messed up but the pain of her lying and the images I have catching her in the act are too great right now. I know to be Christlike I should stay and work it out but that is only if we are true and dedicated to each other from here on.
This is the advice I would give, anyway. Sounds like your wife experienced some major depression during the first years of your post. I recommend staying with her. You can ask God to help you forgive your wife's sins "and remember them no more." It will take a long time, probably longer than you're expecting. But it will be worth it. Work on becoming temple worthy and, as much as possible, go back and review the covenants you've with God made in both the endowment and sealing rooms. You can be an example to your wife of repentance and support.
May God bless you in your efforts to return to Him.
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Mostly in the additional material, like maps, indexes, etc. Maybe a few punctuation changes that you'd have to really look for. By and large, the actual verses are standardized for use across the world.
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Non-parent chiming in...there are different ways to worship and praise the Lord. Singing songs can be one way to improve Sabbath day worship. Practice being reverent, putting together quiet toys/games to use during next week's sacrament meeting or props/whatever for the older ones to help plan FHE. I have an app on my iPad that allows you to make puzzles out of personal pictures that might be good for a screen time reward. Make something, like a card or a picture, to give to their teachers next week. Just do similar stuff that you do on the weekdays, but put extra emphasis on how it can make you think Gospel thoughts. (Coloring a picture of a hippopotamus can help us remember that God created all animals, for example.)
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On February 26, 2018 at 8:40 PM, roger said:
I have a good friend that is highly allergic to some types of foods. Another friend sometimes brings these types of foods for her children as snacks but tries to stay away from the allergic one. Now the allergic friend called the other friends workplace to try to get her in trouble with her boss. I am stuck in the middle and wondered if any have words of advice.
Not enough details for me to give specific advice. Who told you allergy friend tattled on good friend? Could that person have had ulterior motives? I have had tons of friends who haven't gotten along with each other for one reason or another, and I've found it's best to stay as neutral as possible.
However, if good friend's livelihood is threatened (i.e., this dispute has put her in hot water at work and in danger of being fired) I recommend talking to allergic friend about the situation. Call them to repent and confess to good friend's boss (assuming whatever claims made were exaggerated or false) and also see if there's more going on that you aren't aware of between the two that could have caused the retaliation. It could be that both friends need a solid reminder about turning the other cheek.
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3 hours ago, Vort said:
SOUTHERN PRIDE! THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN!
Ok, I'm obviously missing a joke somewhere. Is this your way of saying you're upset you didn't get to see all of the pants Team Norway brought?
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3 hours ago, anatess2 said:
I thought of you when they got that gold! I thought you must be super tickled pink.
Oh, I totally was! Still am, actually. It was such a good game, too! Super glad they replayed it on network tv that afternoon so more people could get a taste.
haha...my YW really loved seeing me get all fangirl about it in our lesson on Sunday, which was about treating our bodies as a temple. I used Shusters story (and curling) as a way to emphasize mind over matter and developing self mastery of our bodies.
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On February 26, 2018 at 12:37 PM, mordorbund said:
I never use that bridge. Its name tell me that it has been fully immersed at least once in its history.
Probably in 2011 when there was massive flooding all along the Missouri River.
The bridge itself was a toll road until the late 1970's, and David O. McKay was the last to pay the toll, ceremoniously.
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For the foreseeable future, they won't be called "Cinderella stories," they'll be called "Shuster stories."
TLDR: it's a comeback story within a comeback story of Olympic proportions.
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First of all, congratulations on the engagement!
I know two couples where the engaged man had been sealed previously.
In 2012, they were engaged in March and married in October. To outsiders, it was no more or less complicated than any other sealing process. (Other than the fact that they were scheduled to be sealed a week after the temple was scheduled to reopen after cleaning, but not all of the carpet was ready so the temple wouldn't be open, but the temple president was going to seal them anyway, so he opened it up for just that ordinance.)
The other couple has a far different story, similar to the one in the article shared above: they had to wait a year to be sealed, which they chose to do as an engaged couple rather than a civilly married couple, like the couple from the blog. They also had to wait an extra while for the letter telling them that because, unfortunately, their process overlapped the passing of President Hinckley. As these are matters considered by the first presidency, you might want to allot yourself some extra patience (but definitely wait to pray for it!)
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On February 19, 2018 at 10:14 AM, Latter-Day Marriage said:
I met my wife when she was 15 and I was 17 and I knew that night she was the one, but we lived 100 miles apart so we relied heavily on letters and the occasional phone call to hang onto her till I finished my mission and proposed. One time I just took a notebook around with me and wrote to her through the day what I was doing and thinking, like "... I'm in math class now. Mr F. is a bit eccentric, he wears Hawaiian shirts and long shorts with knee high socks and a lab coat. He is a really good teacher though, we are covering how to reduce a matrix today..." then mailed her that.
This reminded me of something I did with a long distance friend a few years back. I got her a blank journal, mailed it to her, she wrote in it for a few days and then mailed it back. I wrote in it for a few days and mailed it back. We did this until it was full and then got a new one, even though we continued to talk regularly online. Something like this would be really cool for your grandkids to see.
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@000Zero000 Are your children getting some form of professional counseling? Even some regular (weekly/biweekly) time with a school guidance counselor can help them figure out how to sift the conflicting messages they're getting from their parents. Especially if they're being taught in Primary and in your home to "honor thy father and mother." Be open and honest with them in a gentle way. Try not to let your frustration with your ex influence your tone when you ask them what kinds of things they've been talking about with Mom, because they could very easily interpret that as frustration with them, especially at that prepubescent age.
Smile and tell them you love them. Keep cheerfully doing what you've been doing and have faith that your kids will turn out all right when it's all said and done. As President Monson said, "Your future is as bright as your faith."
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When I decided to read my scriptures before I did homework in college, I looked at it as putting the spiritual before the temporal. I can't say I noticed a huge difference in anything once I changed my habits, but it was enough of a difference to keep it as my goal. (Even if I didn't always meet that goal.)
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My story: I experience seasonal depression. It's like riding a train through the Rockies. There are periods of darkness where you don't know where you are or how much longer the only light will be that which comes from within followed by periods of natural, beautiful lighting. That emotional freezing and thawing mentioned earlier happens for me just about from General Conference to General Conference. (Sept-Mar are usually my most depressive months.) Once I had insurance, the first therapist I saw sent me to a psychiatrist (or whichever one does the prescribing...I worked in health insurance for three years; you'd think I'd remember the difference between psychiatrist and psychologist) in late January/early February, and she gave me an Rx for six months. It was the first maintenance med I had ever taken, so I followed doctors orders and took it through August. Did some lasting damage to personal relationships. Next one I tried was golden. Knew what to ask and helped me realize when I needed to start weaning off and starting back on them. As someone else mentioned, she was like a trail guide, and helped me understand a lot about myself physically, emotionally, and even spiritually (she was what I call generic Christian and encouraged me to incorporate my spirituality into my coping).
@Petty3 If you have Twitter, follow Dr. Norman Rosenthal. I followed him because he wrote a book about SAD that helped me understand my plight and where to start my journey through it. But he provides quite a bit of uplifting content that you may find relevant.
Music and the Liberty Jail sections of the Doctrine and Covenants (121 and 122) are ways that help me. Sometimes the music is LDS (Restoration Hymns and ones borrowed from others are the majority of my go-tos), and sometimes it's not. Give Pink Floyd's song "Comfortably Numb" a listen and see if you don't connect. Parts of the last two verses of "I Believe in Christ" (#134 in the hymnal, #1 in my heart) provide a great deal of strength for me. Even in my deadest hour, my spirit seems to sway with the lines, "He ransoms me. From Satan's grasp, he sets me free." And I can't help but imagine myself as more confident as I hear (whether by my own voice or the voice of others, or even just in my memory) "I believe in Christ, so come what may."
As to my personal theory (that I probably read in an article online somewhere) as to why some prescriptions may make some people suicidal...to me, there are two camps of depression, both equally valid and terrible to experience. The first camp is what most people are familiar with. It's the emotional one. Standard symptoms of crying all the time, not feeling anything, no joy in regular activities, etc. This is often triggered by circumstances such as loss of a loved one, financial disaster, traumatic events/anniversaries, etc. Sometimes, for some people the ol' "choose happiness" advice is all it takes. Sometimes, for some people, it requires more of a team effort from medical professionals. Sometimes, for some people, they recover from this depression in a matter of months, while others may take years. The other camp is more of a physical depression. In addition to low motivation, symptoms include heavy limbs, body aches, sluggishness, dysphoria, etc. No amount of inspirational quotes is going to make it so you can look at showering as one task instead of an endless chore involving gathering towels.....undressing.....warming up the water.....showering.....getting out.....drying off.....dressing.....and finally combing your hair. You will absolutely need at least a supplement for this.
Prescriptions for depression don't start working right away. It's almost as though they work line upon line to bring you back to your regular/desired life (which may or may not include antidepressants once you get there). Sometimes, people don't attempt suicide because it's too much effort, whatever the method. Sometimes, the prescription gives them the energy line before it gives them the "life is worth living" line.- Petty3 and NeuroTypical
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20 hours ago, Fether said:
So In our ward we have gone on in Elders Quorum for a while with a healthy ratio of active Elders Quorum Members and Callings that really do something.
Well after reactivating a few and and some move ins, we now have more elders than actual callings... so what do we do in this situation?? We have 2 brothers in particular in the quorum that are putting forth an effort to be active again and we feel they need a calling, but We can’t find any more spaces for callings besides Home Teaching.
we have:
a presidency
secretary
two teachers
activity coordinator
and the rest are either Sunday school teachers, ward missionaries, young men advisors or in primary. No shortage of callings anywhere.
Thoughts???
How long have they had those callings? (Could it be time to give someone a break after a couple of years?) You mentioned an activity coordinator, do you have a committee the newbies could be placed on? What about a stake activities committee? You can have more than one family history consultant, greeter, etc. in a ward.
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Sacrament meeting nanny.
I've already done this, just sit in a row or with a family who has more kids under ten than they have adults. Saved someone's hide when his wife had to go lead the Primary program, leaving him with a screaming one year old in one arm, a crying two year old in the other, and an infant in a car seat at his feet. As I grabbed my purse and sidestepped over the old guy sitting next to them, I felt like Mrs. Doubtfire when she screams "help is on the way!" and leaps over the restaurant railing.
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So, my father mentioned that his blessing leaves out his lineage. I told him that he c/should go to his current patriarch and get that given to him. But he is of the mind that you only get one.
Any sources I could recommend to him so that he might be motivated to get that?
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4 hours ago, Midwest LDS said:
Agreed @DoctorLemon I'm not even sure you can consider candy crush a game. It's more like a virtual mugger (stuck on an impossible level? If you give us cash we'll let you move on lol)
Casual gamer here...I've played Candy Crush for years. Got to level 2000 something without spending a dime. I would play it while listening to conference archives. I also really appreciated the fact that it limited how many free lives you have, as it gave me the opportunity to relax without crossing the threshold into idleness. That being said, I haven't played in a couple of months because it started taking to long to load.
As to the Hallway people...I became one for a while when the GD teacher was using so many sources from lds.org that we would hardly read a scripture. I'd even hold mine in my lap to see if we'd be asked to open them. Lately I've been having some tailbone pain that's exacerbated by the chairs in our chapel (which gets used for GD) and I'll sit in the back so that it's not disruptive to the class if I just need to stand for a few minutes.
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One Million Dubliners
A documentary about Ireland's most popular cemetery. It's far more interesting than it sounds, especially from a genealogical perspective. I may borrow it from my library again.
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9 hours ago, MormonGator said:
What MG will tell you now is that one of his happiest memories is teaching his grandmother how to play Pac-Man back when I was in high school, so @mordorbund was sort of on to something.
And Grandma isn't the religious type, for the record.I have an old maid of an aunt who is the sweetest, most selfless person I knew as a teenager. One of my favorite memories of her is when we had Thanksgiving at her baby brother's house. My cousin brought out his copy of Grand Theft Auto, and she played her heart out!
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On 2/10/2018 at 2:59 PM, Grunt said:
I'm sure most of you had had teaching callings, so hopefully, someone can relate. Have you ever had to teach something you struggled with? There are aspects of doctrine that I just don't have a testimony of. As of now, I think I'll just skip that subject until I have more time to study it. I don't think it's fair to anyone who may be in class if I try to teach something I'm unsure of.
I'm sure that I have, just can't think of what. Probably training on visiting teaching. (I still struggle with that.) I think it can be a great opportunity to allow the Spirit to do most of the teaching, as well as guide you in what to study as you learn more. I regularly tell the YW that I teach "I'm not sure." Sometimes they provide me with an insight that can be added to the bit I know, which completes the picture.
On 2/10/2018 at 6:09 PM, Jane_Doe said:Side note: one of the BEST lessons on marriage I've ever had in Sunday School was this last fall. It was taught be a never-married man in his 40's, who very openly said "I feel that I am the worst qualified person ever to teach this lesson". All I can say is... wow, Christ can work wonders with a humble vessel.
One of my most intimidating assignments was speaking on Valentine's Day to the YSA ward on "Preparing for Temple Marriage." Also, the next time one of my mommy friends shares the "I thought I was a perfect parent until I became one" meme, I'm going to take it as a solicitation for parenting advice from me. (Not really, but I probably will throw some sass out.)
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I grew up without video games at home, but when I was about 10-12, someone from the family bought a gaming console (Nintendo NES, maybe) for Grandma and Grandpa's house. They put it in the upstairs back bedroom and I remember playing it with my cousins while the adults talked downstairs. I also remember helping Grandma with jigsaw puzzles on the formal dining room table, which was right next to the living room where Grandpa watched the Packers. As I got older and realized the stoic man was worth spending time with, I'd watch the silly sportsing games with him.
@JohnsonJones I think you have every right to claim a TV as Grandpa's. Put the Olympics on and they'll either watch with you or leave the room. Your house, your rules. The Olympics are a special occasion; video games are not.
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28 minutes ago, zil said:
In my experience, all you need are a couple questions (there's not time for more with a good group), some scriptures and maybe a quote or two from the manual.
IMHO, this applies to almost every 2nd and 3rd hour class. Some formats require more weight in different areas, such as GD having more scriptures than quotes/questions, but I think overall it's pretty universal.
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Help with a proposal
in Marriage and Relationship Advice
Posted
Also, if there are any forms of entertainment you're both a fan of (tv, movie, book) that has a romantic or proposal scene you could recreate in part, that might be nice, too. Like, in Psych, when Shawn tells Juliet that he loves his motorcycle but being with her has made him think about getting a car. Not a proposal scene, but romantic and meaningful if you're fans of the show.