seashmore
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Posts posted by seashmore
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On 11/9/2018 at 6:14 AM, LatterDSaint said:
Hi yall. I am here again. Might as well call me a regular I guess since this site is pretty awesome.
So for context, me and my girlfriend of 6 months broke up at the beginning of this fall as she was contemplating serving a mission and in the end we to part ways and committed to see each other on the other side (post mission). For a month and a few weeks we didnt have any communication like we used to and when we saw each other, we limited it to small talk "hey how are classes etc". Then out of the blue she texted me to talk so we did. During this talk she said that she didnt feel that it was a calling from the Lord to serve a mission and a lot of pressure was placed onto her from her mother. She concluded that she wants to be back in a relationship with me. I accepted as I do love her and so for three weeks now we have been dating and it has been a greatly God centered relationship like it was before, only the spirit appears to be so much more involved (we arent letting things get out of hand).
During the time of our split she has made many close guy friends, one of which is on her sports team who she described to me when we were broken up as her best friend. At the time we got back together, she mentioned if it was okay that she kept her male friends (all single who flirt with her) around, and I obliged because I believed her when she said that she is choosing me and not them. She never kissed any of them over this period but it was apparent that she developed an emotional attachment between perhaps three different guys, the strongest being the guy that is on her sports team. She disclosed to me on the night we got back together that the guy on her team is an attractive guy (which he is as I met him before I got back together with my girlfriend) and obviously I did not feel as though I had any place to deny her, her friendships, even if I was skeptical that their behavior towards her (flirtatious) was not likely to change.
So last week me and my girlfriend were hanging out and we were talking about the relationships or friendships we formed with other people while we were split. I repeated what I said to her on the night we got back together that I went on a date with one girl and although I scheduled a second date with her, I texted this girl letting her know that it wasnt fair to her that I was still in love with my ex (now girlfriend). My girlfriend asked if I kept any female friends around to which I explained I didnt because I have no reason to while I am in a relationship with her, which led her to feel guilty that she was keeping her male friends close while she was in a relationship with me, but after long discussion about one of her close male friends who she met while hanging out with her bestfriend who is on her team, I said that I trust her to respect our relationship and even though this particular guy has been on dates with her, I had faith that she would not do anything to jeopardize our relationship.
Flashforward to yesterday, my girlfriend thought she had practice for an instrument and her sports bestfriend is also in that class so she understandably asked him for a ride and its clearly been routine since they have met. I did offer to give her a ride my self, but it was on a moped and its cold here in Provo so I understood why she was more eager to get a ride in her sports bestfriends' car. She wasnt sure if he was going to come through as he was contemplating whether to go to the volleyball game or not but with 7 mins before her class started he did, and I took the cue to say a quick goodbye to my girlfriend and we both left with the expectation (we established this earlier on in the day) that we would hang out after her two hour instrument practice. So after an hour and thirty so minutes I get a text that "I made it home. Are you still okay to hang out tonight" to which I replied "of course". I got to her place and we met up and I noticed that she was wearing nice jeans that I didnt see previously and I even commented that they were nice. So we sit down together on a couch and she proceeds to tell me what just happened over the past time I thought she was at guitar practice. SHe and her sports bestfriend found out that guitar practice isnt today and was actually on Wednesday like it usually is, which she has been attending since the beginning of the semester. So they take the liberty to head back to her place and all this time they were actually at my girlfriends place because her sports bestfriend hadnt eaten at all and wanted to eat at her place. She didnt protest. So I wanted her to clarify that in the hour and thirty odd minutes that I thought she was at guitar practice (there was no update text), she was actually at her place the whole time with her sports bestfriend, and she confirmed. I couldnt quite believe what I was hearing so I proceeded to leave then I came back and we had a long discussion about how I felt really betrayed that she didnt bother to let me know her instrument practice was actually on Wednesday, and she was at home the whole time with her bestfriend who she hasnt denied she finds attractive. She was extremely apologetic and confessed that she does have feelings for her bestfriend who is on her team but she values our relationship so will act to cut off her ties with these other guys from here on out. After what happened the other day, I agreed to this and we have made up but she believes that she will have to regain my trust in this relationship.
Im interested in a discussion on this and will clarify things I didnt put in this post. p.s I love her dearly
Based on the OP, it seems you're both pre-mission. If that's the case, y'all are fairly young. Here's what I would tell my YW if they were feeling the same way you are about a situation like this: dial it back about fifty years. Would it have been reasonable for you to expect in the moment updates about her plans? Not really. Do you trust her that she didn't do anything awry while you were away? If you don't, ask yourself why and talk about it. Hint: you should probably trust her to not get frisky with him.
Now, if this YW you're dating were one of mine and she came to me with your reaction, I'd ask her if she thought it was reasonable of you to expect her to notify you every time her plans change last minute if they don't effect the time that she will be spending with you. Personally, I don't think it's reasonable. In fact, it's a yellow flag that you have the capability of being possessive, jealous, and possibly overbearing in the future. (Yellow flags are not red flags, just reminders to proceed with caution.) These are not traits that contribute to healthy relationships.
Good news, forgiveness is possible and commanded. Fix it and forget about it.
Also, it's entirely possible that she put on those nice jeans for you and not him.
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True life crime shows aren't necessarily always my thing, but I remember being curious about the series when it first came out.
Then my cousin posted an article about the victim that included some non-supportive quotes about the series from Theresa's family. Turns out, my cousin had gone to college with her, and the point of cashing in on someone else's tragedy hasn't sat well with me ever since.
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9 hours ago, SilentOne said:
@seashmore We're a week in. Have you written your cheese scene yet?
Not yet.
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22 hours ago, zil said:
Erm, you know they're not allowed to visit family while on a mission, right?
I had some friends who had a son serving a mission that either includes or borders whatever one DisneyPlace is in (I get Land and World mixed up). The mom grew up not far from there, so the rest of the family met some extended family at Disney and didn't tell the missionary until after.
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Haven't had a private, romantic dinner in years, but this feels appropriate.
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People never expect me to like heavy music. My dad grew up as a DJ, so I grew up listening to all kinds of music and still do. I spent a lot of time with a guy who only listened to progressive metal/rock, and he taught me how to find odd music. I also like folk rock and YouTube parodies/mashups. (I have a playlist to keep track of them called "We Do the Weird Stuff," from a line in a Dr. Horrible song.)
I have a wide variety of hobbies and interests, but I suppose Australian entertainment fits in the least. TV shows and movies, mostly.
Curling always catches people off guard, until I mention that I curled in high school and grew up a block away from one of the oldest clubs in the US. I'm hoping to join the local club next season, if not this (based on deadlines and costs).
I'm an ambivert with introverted friends, so people don't always realize I enjoy going to athletic events. However, I don't like going alone, especially to high school games (feel like a creeper). There's just something about experiencing crowd mentality that I find infectious and uplifting. It's where I do the best crowd watching, and love seeing people's reactions when I give a gravelly "woop woop woop" after a good play.
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4 hours ago, Sunday21 said:
So writing group eh? Do tell!
It started off as NaNoWriMo meetings in Saturday nights in November. It just extends into a year round thing for many folks. It's only serious during November (sometimes for Camp NaNo in April and July) but there are always at least five or so people there. Enough that Village Inn lets us permanently reserve their party room from 7pm to close.
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I've been unemployed since June. I've been a temple worker since August. I start a new job on Monday. The schedule for the position I was hired for has me at work until 5 p.m. on Tuesdays. Our pre-shift meeting starts at 5:10 and it's a twenty minute drive from work to the temple with no traffic. (Which may add up to ten minutes.) We have a sister on our shift who, for reasons I'm not aware of, cannot make it to the pre-shift meeting, but can be there in time to help with the sessions. Our meeting was a little hasty when I mentioned the possible dilemma to my temple president last week, before we closed. He mentioned a concern that I might feel a little rushed, and that I could/should email him when I knew about the job.
Because of my schedule and the temple's, there is only one other shift that would not require me to not come straight from work. However, Saturday nights would put more stress on me in the long run since I teach Sunbeams and my main source of social interaction is my writing group on Saturday nights.
I struggle with depression, and it always gets worse in the winter time. Being a temple worker gives me a concrete sense of divine purpose: I am helping people feel welcome in the Lord's house. Future me does not want Present me to give that up, but Present me does not see a way to make it work.
Any advice as to what I should say to my temple president in an email about the situation? I'd like to try it out for a couple of weeks. I'm also sending an email to my shift coordinator to see what she thinks.
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Something she can do to suss out scammers is to ask how they got her number. She can also ask for a number to call them back because now is not a good time. A legit place will always have a number to give out while a scam likely won't.
This guy is pretty funny when he deals with scam emails.
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On 9/6/2018 at 5:12 PM, SilentOne said:
Challenge for all the writers here: Write a story centered around grocery shopping in which the presence or absence of Kraft Singles plays a vital role.
Aaaactuallyyyyyy....I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year. One of my housemates was watching an episode of Stephen Universe that mentioned something about "fifty pages of wedding cake." She scoffed at the notion, and my reaction was: thanks for the NaNo Challenge. 50k words about wedding cake will be written by me in the month of November. A facebook friendshipversary featuring a photo I took of a couple pinky-swearing to not smash cake in each other's faces that showed up a few days later cemented the plans.
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On 8/30/2018 at 8:42 AM, ctr2961 said:Does anyone knows the rules about being single in a family ward? This sounds like a dumb question but in the pasts I been approached by members of the stake presidency and a few members of my non Utah ward that unattached singles should not be participating in family ward activities(picnics, temple trips, testimony Sunday) and I should only be going to the singles ward which is 60 miles(out of Stake) away every Sunday. The Bishop was not informed about this. I just want an understanding why I was told this.
I just spent four years living in a branch where the nearest singles anything was 90 miles away. Before that, I served 7 years in Midwest YSA wards. Trust me when I say these people misinformed you. Especially if the nearest singles ward is outside of your stake. Rather, they have it backwards: people who are not single or of a certain age should not be attending singles activities (unless expressly invited). Don't get me started on 32+ regularly participating in YSA.
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True story: I went to Winnipeg for Spring Break my senior year of college. It was the last time I drank alcohol. We were on trimesters, so our "spring break" was the last week in February. I had a couple of friends who wanted to leave the country before they graduated, as a bucket list type thing, and Canada was closer than Mexico. We stopped at the Mall of America on our way. Our highlights of Canada included stopping for me to take a pic at a curling rink and an LDS chapel that I had seen from the highway, and Spring Break Blizzard Pictures at the Border. (Right now, only the chapel pic is loading. But the other ones exist, I promise.)
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If there is a transgender person in our circle of life who is sick or otherwise afflicted (cancer, alcoholism, death of immediate family member, etc.) and we would like to add their name to the prayer roll in the temple, should we put their given name or the name they prefer to use?
I probably won't participate in any discussion on transgender issues because I have more questions than answers to share. In fact, even this question raises more for me, but searching for those answers is like trying to cross the river before I cross the street. (ref: Frogger by Atari)
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On August 24, 2018 at 4:28 PM, MormonGator said:
I've never heard of that game. What's it about?
It's basically Monopoly, but in a mall. Instead of buying houses/hotels and charging extra rent, you have to keep your stores stocked with items. You earn points that can be exhanged at the bank for events like getting a free store or lowering your rival's bank account. The game ends when a player earns the amount of assets determined at the start of the game. I find it enjoyable because, like life, it's a fun mix of strategy and chance.
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Our memories can play tricks on us sometimes; they are fallible. If your priesthood leader has assisted you in repenting of all that you know you have done wrong, you are forgiven in the Lord's eyes. If you aren't sure whether you committed the sin/s you think you are remembering, pray it out. He knows what you've done and what has been distorted in your memory. He knows how repentant your heart is at least as well as you do. Your prayer may include wording such as "I'm not sure if I [did XYZ] but if I did, I am truly sorry that I behaved that way. I seek your forgiveness and your guidance to avoid that in the future."
Participate in the ordinance of the sacrament. Those few minutes are meant to be a time to rededicate ourselves to the Lord and the promises we have made to Him. Focus on what you can fix and do your best to forget about the rest.
Even though Brigham Young didn't really say this, I like it, anyway.
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I'll admit to discreetly crocheting at church, even during sacrament meeting. I keep it something small, like a scarf or a motif, so I can keep the skein of yarn in my purse and the work in my lap. I do it rarely, only when I'm experiencing a lot of anxiety about being at church or my thoughts have been racing. Crocheting helps keep my hands busy and actually allows me to focus deeper on the messages in those situations. There have been maybe two experiences in the last six years where it may have been a distraction for someone else. imho, it's less distracting than RLS or falling asleep.
As for doing it on Sundays, I try to either work on a gift/charitable project or a new stitch/technique, so I can develop skills that I can use to help further the kingdom.
And I definitely crochet during General Conference! Keeps me awake.
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Fed is best. There is already a lot of mom-shaming done to mothers who choose not to breastfeed (or whose babies don't latch properly, etc.) and there is a lot of shaming for feeding in public. I take the same approach to nursing as I do towards tattoos: I'm not comfortable with it on my body, don't care if someone else is, and suggest not staring or judging those who feel differently.
Those suggesting there is only one proper and correct way, place, and/or time to feed a child are not taking into consideration the variety of circumstances. Some babies become vocally uncomfortable under wraps, some mothers cannot leave all of their other children unattended or cram them in the mother's room, and many places do not have adequate breastfeeding facilities.
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Will definitely put some of these to use!
Any more suggestions for me to pray and ponder about?
I started off subbing for two weeks. First was excellent: we ended with making marshmallow temples. Week two, definitively awful. My lesson on prayer lasted ten minutes and I learned the hard way to over prepare in the future. I've learned one boy and one girl are physically clingy to teachers. That same boy is very vocal about wanting a turn and not getting one. Otherwise, they're pretty middle of the road behavior wise in that they have a lot of energy and will use it. I feel like my "qualifications" are that I'm only five feet tall (not intimidating and actually more comfortable in the small chairs than the large ones) and can be relentlessly cheerful.
The Primary Pres gave me the lowdown this week. Three girls, three boys, all pretty consistent in attendance. Their last teacher was there every week until she moved a month or so ago. Unfortunately, the previous PP (current is about two months in) was never able to call a co-teacher and struggled finding subs so the teacher just let them run wild and/or play in Nursery.
Basically my first order of business is going to be establishing a routine, which will probably be best done if I pick one this week and stick to it for the rest of the year.
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A month ago, I moved from a branch where communications slipped through the cracks instead of getting to me, so I have no idea how RS and EQ were handling the change. I feel like it had been decided to just have people minister to their HT/VT routes, but there were also a lot of families that moved out. So I really honestly don't know if the offers of friends to help me move were because they were my friends or intentional ministering.
I haven't been active enough in my new ward to know. (Of the five Sundays I've been here, I've only stayed past sacrament twice due to either other arrangements or illness.)
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My mom losing her job and taking a paycut to make a paycheck my junior year of high school really helped get us some good locked interest rates on loans, if that counts.
My college roommate's degree was paid for on the condition that any of the bonuses she earned her first few years as a nurse would be turned over to her parents. She was able to buy a house in late 2008.
I think it's one of those things where you should if you can, but don't break your back over it. And don't pay for all of it if they aren't going to be grateful or responsible.
4 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:Tax free 529 plans all the way baby! Anything that keeps $$ out of the hands of government is a good idea!
Legitimate question: what happens to the money if the kid decides not to go to school? Or dies before graduating high school? Do you get the money back and pay taxes on it as income?
Special Music for Sacrament
in Advice Board
Posted
In my single's wards, unless there was a new convert or pre-mission person who hadn't given many talks before, we only ever had two speakers. Program went as follows:
Opening Exercises (announcements, song, prayer, business)
Sacrament (after hymn)
Speaker, 15-20 minutes
Rest hymn/musical number
Speaker, 15-20 minutes
Closing Exercies
My two family wards have had similar schedules:
Opening Exercises
Sacrament
Speaker, 5-7 minutes
Speaker, 10-15 minutes
Rest hymn/musical number
Speaker, 10-15 minutes
Closing Exercises
New family ward schedules could go as follows:
Opening Exercises
Sacrament
Speaker, 3-5 minutes
Speaker, 10-12 minutes
Rest hymn/musical number
Speaker, 10-12 minutes
Closing Exercises
It may take some time for long winded speakers to get used to the adjustments.