Lost Boy

What helps is knowing that I did everything correctly. I carried proper insurance, reported the accident, etc. This is the ethical thing to do.

My conscious says not to pay the guy. I don't have coverage on two of my vehicles with the full knowledge that if they get hit, I will be covering the loss. That is a conscious decision on my part and his part.

Actually it does if you choose not to carry insurance. I am only liable for $1000. End of story. The law states that he or his insurance is liable for any damages above $1000 if I am more than 50% at fault.

Nope. And as such it is on him to determine if he is going to cover his car, not me. His repairs are on him. If I lived in a state where my insurance would cover damages done to his car, then I would carry that type of coverage. Say the guy had a $200k car and it got totalled. If he lives in a state where each is responsible for their own repairs, then if he didn't put coverage on his car, there is little chance anyone could cover his repairs. It is not fair to expect that. If you live in a state where it is expected that the at fault party pay, then it is reasonable to expect that party to pay.

I would argue that I am still being 100% ethical. He saved money by not insuring his car. By law one is responsible for their own repairs. If he chose to save the money, he should be using that money to pay for the repairs. If he had insurance, his insurance would pay for it. What is unethical is to cheap out on insurance and then come and demand someone pay because you didn't put coverage on your car. I did talk with the police just now and they suggested that I don't speak with this person again and to block his number. They said legally he can only sue for $1000 and generally the insurance company deals with that. I already reached out to the insurance company and they suggested the same thing. Don't talk with him.

The law here is that you insure your own car and your insurance is to cover the loss. If you choose to decline collision insurance, that is on the owner of the car regardless of who is at fault. If he didn't have his car covered, that is on him, not me. I am 90% sure this was a scam. Jamming on his breaks to intentionally cause an accident and try and extort money out of us. Unfortunately, this is not uncommon around here. Still it was my daughters fault for driving to close. That is on her and she is paying for the mistake. If it isn't a scam, I do feel bad for him a bit, but still his choice not to insure his car. One cannot live in a no-fault state and expect the other person to pay damages that are by law your responsibility.

My daughter was in an accident where she was at fault. I live in a no fault state so we are each responsible for having insurance to cover our own cars. The guy who was driving the other car was not the owner of the car. He was the brother. The car that was hit was a '06 daville. So we don't know how, but the owner of the other car got my daughter's cell number and called her. Not cool. She gave him my phone number. He called me asking how I was going to pay for the damages. As I am living in a no fault state, I am only liable for $1000. Anything above and beyond is his responsibility. He claimed that because his brother was driving that his insurance would not cover the cost and that he would have to deal with me directly. He stated that he needed $5k to cover the damages. To me this smells very much a scam. If he decided to not cover his vehicle, that is his problem, not mine. And we have no idea how he got my daughter's cell number. That is a bit creepy. So what would you do in this situation?

I agree with you. I said that as part of a thought process that many have. The first thing many think is why is God doing this to me... I have been guilty of feeling this way from time to time until I stop with emotional thought...

It really boils down to can she do the job she is seeking or can't she. If the dyslexia is going to hamper her performance, then that should be disclosed. If not, it is really none of their business. I am sure she is very aware of her limitations and good ways to overcome those limitations. Be honest in your abilities. That doesn't mean you should disclose or not disclose the dislexia.

Unfortunately you are not alone. My spouse does not attend church either and has turned to new age spirituality garbage. She believes she is one half of a split soul and the other half is some guy she works with. I felt sick and wanted to die when I learned about that. Our relationship wasn't great at the time anyway, but still what do you do? I love my wife, but I lost my way in loving her. I have made a commitment to change myself to love her no matter what. Some days are easy and fun. Some days part of me wishes it were over. But I have learned a lot about myself through this process of learning how to love her again. I learned that I am a lot stronger than I thought. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I would like to think I did all that I can to love my wife and help her feel the love of Christ. And hope that she comes back to the fold. A couple of things... as long as he is not abusive to you are actively tries to undermine your faith... Love him. He is still a son of Heavenly Father and Heavenly father still loves him. Don't nag him and complain.. Just love. That is what our Savior would do. Be gentle with him and don't try to convert him back to the faith. You can't convert him. Only the spirit can. Be patient. This is not going to be resolved quickly. keep the faith. Don't act superior or weird about keeping the faith. Just do it humbly. Know that our Heavenly Father loves you and wants you to be happy. So if he wants this, then why is he putting you through this trial?? I don't know. Sometimes it take a long time for us to understand. And it is a hard trial of faith. Pray for strength that you will be able to handle your burdens. I don't expect my wife to return to church any time soon. It certainly is hard at times, but that is not going to deter me from trying to be the person our Father in Heaven would want me to be. I wish you the best.

I've been there and done that. Fighting over small things is generally a pretty good sign that both of you are not putting in the effort to show love for each other. You can say that you love her, but are you truly showing it through action? How often do you make a concerted effort to make her feel special? Do you on a daily basis make an effort to do something special for your wife? And lets be clear here... you making money is not anything special. Almost all guys do that. That is a duty. Make a commitment to do at least one thing special for her each day. Make a daily checklist. make the list for a couple of months. And set yourself several goals. One goal is to do something special for her each day. Next, find a sincere compliment to pay her every day. Next, commit to clean the house for at least 30 minutes every day... this is above and beyond helping in the kitchen. Next work on projects around the house, especially the ones she wants done. Next hug your wife everyday... hug her like there is no tomorrow and look at her and tell her that she is an incredible woman. And as you do these things, check them off on a daily basis. But do not put your goals on this chart. Just use numbers so your wife has no idea what you are doing. On top of that, do not tell her what you are doing. Just do these things without telling her. Not a single mention. Do not worry if she is doing anything in return. Do not base what you do on what she does. You have committed to love her. So do so. Again, do not worry if she is loving you in return. You need to work on yourself. You need to fix yourself. If you do the above your marriage will improve. It will not improve overnight. It will take time. If you are fighting all the time, the hurt is probably pretty deep and it will take time to heel. View this chart of goals as a true gift of love from you to her. The other thing you need to work on is anger. It is normal to get angry. The natural man gets angry. The godly man controls that anger and instead finds a loving way to discuss the issue. You know Johnny Lingo.. You treat your wife like a queen and she will be the queen you are looking for. Is your wife part of the problem? Yes, but it is not your job to fix her, it is your job to fix you. And until you fix you, you have no right to demand that she fix herself, nor should you ever demand this. And the above is all from personal experience. I was very close to divorce. I feel I was inspired to do the above in my life and it worked. Our marriage and relationship changed dramatically after doing these things. And after starting my journey on fixing myself, she saw the changes in me and decided to make changes herself. You are the man of the house, if you bring love into the home, there will be love. If you want to blame your wife for these issues, you just as well divorce now. Do not blame her. Your (hers and your) problem is both of you. but you can only change you. So do it.

That is always a tough one. We see someone doing things that they should not be doing. Sometimes they are doing it knowingly and sometimes not knowingly. We all have our demons and we all struggle dealing with those demons. Many people try to deal with their demons on their own, but sometimes we lose to those demons and are ashamed of our failures. The shame can be very difficult to deal with. Feel for them. Pray for them and be their friend. But in the end, it is their sin and their responsibility to take care of it.

I use products from pfizer. I am taking a cruise on carnival in a couple of months. I have stayed at Wynn hotels and will do so in the future. I use Visa almost daily. I have had starbucks before and I have cruised on Norwegian. I had no problem using these companies in the past and will probably use them in the future. I suspect if you are willing to use those companies, there should be no issue investing in them. But that is trying to bring logic into the discussion and some people don't appreciate logic.

I am sorry to hear of your situation. All I have to offer is that God loves you and wants you to be happy. You will probably have some difficult trials in your future. Keep fasting and praying for help. I am not even going try and figure out what you are your wife must be going through. But remember to be kind to her always. The power of kindness is amazing, but not necessarily quick. stick with it regardless of her reaction. If she is upset with you, do not be upset with her. Find a way to be kind to her. I am sure you had no intention of it, but I am guessing you put her through hell and the only way out is to show love and kindness always. It may not be enough to save your marriage, but I bet it is your best chance. I wish you the best. Don't give up.

There are a number of singles in my ward. The thought never crossed my mind that they should be in a singles ward. I mean, who really cares? If they want to go to the family ward, who really cares? It is sad that we have so many busy bodies in the church.

I honestly don't think it matters. Will your friend know which name you put down? No. Will the Lord know who you put on the prayer rolls? Absolutely.

You have to really evaluate why you want to come back. Do you want to come back because it is comfortable and you remember feeling good at church, or do you really have a testimony of the church and our saviour? If the later, you have to commit to the no gay love way of life for life. It is the right thing to do, but it may be an absolutely hard thing to do. You don't want to commit to something that you are not going to keep. Only you and the Lord can determine this. Re-join when you get this confirmation. As for being single in the church, most of us don't care if you are married or single. There will always be the nosey person. Hopefully that won't deter you in your decision making. I travel to Japan often and I stick out like a sore thumb. There are many that stare at me. But I still enjoy going. I ignore those that stare and enjoy the friendships that I have there. Life is not what people think about you.

I find it rather fascinating how many different ways guys take care of their facial hair and what not.

My wife and daughters are very quick to let me know if I am ripe. There are a lot of people that just don't get very stinky.

OK, I must confess something now that Vort mentioned it. I haven't worn antiperspirant or deodorant for probably 10 years. If I get all hot and sweaty, I take a shower, put new clothes on. Good to go.

A true caring for someone. Not just caring for someone because the TV flashed a news report about them. Caring for someone that you actually bothered to get to know and have connected with them on a personal level.

I see people here and all over the internet proclaim love for those who they have never met. To put it coldly, there will be a sob story and there will be a response of people saying they love the person. Every day some 200k people die. Occasionally a group dies together in an accident and it makes the news, but most people die without publicity. Why would I care any more for the group that died rather than the 200k that don't get mentioned? I just don't really feel what I view as love for them. For people in my life I feel completely different. Especially those who have meaning. I can sympathize for those I don't know, but I just don't feel love for them. Am I strange like that?

In my case all my kids speak both languages and my wife's friends generally speak her native language, so it isn't so private for us.

I really can't figure out why "lovers" text each other for hours. I would much rather speak on the phone. Texting just lacks so much feeling. I text my wife on occasion when I need to send her some tid bit of information.... A shopping list, an address, when I will be home, etc. If I want conversation, I call. Now I can understand that if you are at work or school or whatever, you can't talk so texting is your option, but when actual calling is possible, people still resort to texting. I really don't get it.

One has to wonder about the other side of the story. You tell of a man that wants sex so he gets married, but now doesn't want it.. At least with you anyway. And then you mention fighting. For there to be a fight you need two willing participants. Things that are a big turn off for guys is nagging, complaining, being told that we always do something that you don't like. Having someone bring up past transgressions. Having love withheld. There are always two sides to the story. So, you cannot change your husband. Only he can do that. You can change yourself. What was the saviors response to just about everything? To love. When things weren't going well for him, he continued to show love. Did he fight? No. Did he pout? No. He showed love. Now that is a hard thing to do when you feel that the love is one sided. But love is a choice. You choose to love the person you are with. Do you wake up thinking how am I going to show my husband love today? Or do you wake up wondering how he is going to disappoint you today? Do you treat him how you want him to be or do you treat him how you currently see him? Which way is more likely to affect a positive change? I've been there where I wanted my marriage to be over. Where there was very little love between us. I did what I wrote above. It was very hard to do, but it has yielded good results. In my many years of marriage, she was rarely affectionate with me, but now she finally is. It takes a daily commitment to love.. To love regardless of whether you believe he deserves it or not. If you do this don't expect an immediate turn around,. It takes time. Months and months. Good luck.