marge

Wow.  Just wow.
Your husband sounds like a spoiled, selfish brat.
His wife sounds like a spoiled, selfish brat, too.
Here's the one principle that I'm going to offer up: miserable parents raise miserable children.
Let's take a look at how things might play out
The status quo: you continue to be the primary breadwinner and are miserable.  Likely result: your marriage sucks and probably fails. Role reversal: you convince your husband somehow to go be the primary breadwinner and he is miserable. Likely result: he resents you, your marriage sucks, and probably fails. If you actually want this thing to work out, then you need to find some way to make a compromise.  You've received some good advice already.
For instance: cut back your hours. You say you can't do that because clients keep requesting you because you're just SO-DARN-GOOD at your job, and that means working late hours.  Well, guess what, your employer doesn't respect your time and your value.  If you can't cut your hours, go find another job that will respect the hours you want to maintain. With your immense talents and capabilities, it shouldn't be hard to find another job.  
The people here that have made the observation that you are rejecting any advice that isn't the solution you want are dead on.  I'm sorry, but if you want your marriage and family to succeed, the reality is that you're probably going to have to come up with a more creative solution.
Here's the big one: set up a budget. Do not EVER just quit a job without understanding how that is going to affect you the rest of your life.  If you quit now and your husband (who, as far as we know, has no particularly lucrative skills) becomes the breadwinner, how are you going to save up enough for your retirement?  Your budget must include things like long term savings (retirement), emergency savings, short term savings (houses and cars), groceries, gas, utilities, entertainment, and yes, video games (or whatever hobbies he has).  This is where you take the opportunity to say "if you want to increase your hobby budget, you have to earn the money to go into it." Then you both find employment that will let you meet your goals of more family time, your financial goals, and your own well-being.
But to be candid, if the only option he's will to accept is the status quo and the only option you're willing to accept is switching roles entirely, then you're marriage probably isn't salvageable.

Yes, absolutely agree.
And also, that we've been predicting the end of the world too.  i used to think that was something that developed after the renaissance.  But right back to the time of Jesus and even before - it was the same.   Everyone was convinced the end was nigh at hand.  "The world is ripening in iniquity."  "God will come and cleanse all the evil people." 
All the apocalypticism in the Bible - we think they were talking about our times.  But at least the more i read about it, it becomes more and more obvious that they were actually not talking about our times at all - they were talking about their own.  
i wonder sometimes what will be the thing that the current generation throws their scorn towards.  What will cross over the next "bridge too far".  The odds of it not happening again seem too small to consider.  

So if you did follow through on it, it would be the shock of his life and really get you the results you are after.  You can't just complain and pray and hope that something will change, you need to take action, you need to follow through

Unfortunately, whether you want to admit it or not your husband is an adult child.  He is a child in his maturity but an adult in his body.  We all have childish parts that we keep for longer than we should, but that is the process of becoming an adult.
1 Corithians 13:11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
Clearly your husband has not put away childish things and therefore is not a man-based upon scripture.  The problem you have is in not being willing to face the truth. You will learn this as you grow older and as your child grows, but the most surefire way to help a child to "grow-up" is to not hold their hand.  You help a child grow-up by allowing them the ability to fall flat on their face-you give them enough rope to hang themselves with.  After they've hung themselves, they come back to you and (hopefully if they've learned the lesson) say . . wow that was really dumb what I did.
The only way your husband is going to grow-up is for you to stop enabling him; yet you don't want to stop enabling him b/c you "hope" things will naturally change.  Hope is not a strategy.  Good luck to you b/c you are going to need it-plenty of wise people here have given you good advice and strategies for you to implement, but you discard them and all you seem to want is someone to tell you "it's gonna be alright?".
Okay, I'll say this, it all works out in the end.  Of course the pain you have to go through to get to the end is in a large measure dependent on you.  Good luck!

I would HIGHLY recommend counseling.  I myself benefitted it in my relationship. 

But are you ACTUALLY manipulating?  Or does he just feel that way?
THAT IS 100% BLATANT MANIPULATION.  "Give me what I want or I'll leave!"
The fact that you caved to it and are terrified that he'll do it again.. honestly, this is starting to sound abusive (in addition to the fact that he's an addict). 

Know one wants to talk money, but sometimes we got to have stern conversations about it.  Else things go crazy and there's horrible consequences for everyone  involved.  
And you can't force your husband to give up his gaming addiction.  He's the only one who can change himself.  But you can say "we each have X amount of money for fun and that's all we can afford", and stick to your guns there.  That's not being dirty: that's being responsible.  And if you husband wants a bigger budget so he can play more, then he needs to finance it himself. Don't let him manipulate the situation to an unresponsible solution.  

@Alia for every constructive piece of advice presented to you here, you put up a negative roadblock to. You also are 'flip-flopping', IOW your responses are not staying the same. It gave me a headache trying to gather all the data to present here on each and every opposite response you have given.
Own up to the fact that the human male you married has yet to mature into a man. Own up to the fact that you are enjoying the conflict in your mind. Seems to me this Passive-Aggressive attitude is your addiction.
Keep this attitude up and your son will most definitely become the victim. Children see, hear, feel and absorb the emotional, mental, AND physical negativity/ abuse that is played out around them from the time they are born until they reach an age where they can escape the home. Is this what you want for your son?  If you want to stay home more and be the nurturing mother, then JUST DO IT!
Why in creations name do you allow this immature husband of yours to continue with the mental/emotional blackmail? cut off hubby's access to YOUR income. Completely cut off access to the Wifi, TV, Internet, food that he does NOT purchase with his own money. Open a bank account in your own name, empty your joint account of all the money YOU deposited, leaving only the money HE had deposited. Protect yourself financially and don't for one second believe that he won't get custody of your son.
Call his bluff. IF he leaves you, then fine, you are no longer paying for a freeloader. Fine, he has shown his true colors and you are better off with him gone now as opposed to later when more emotional damage has been absorbed by your son. Unless of course, you enjoy being the martyr, but must you make your son a martyr also???

This account by a man - i believe he is a member.  Or at least was.  He fell asleep at the wheel and his wife and child died as a result.  He had a dream where he describes the physical aspects of his encounters with his deceased wife and child.  Linked to around the right time.  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75n34-bKnAc&t=27m30s

+1 
My sister separated from her husband after more than a decade and 6 children.  Right up until the time the papers were served, there was nothing that changed.  When they were served, there was a lot of gnashing of teeth and attempts to manipulate her back into the relationship.  And when it became clear that that was not going to work, change ensued.  
i have a lot of compassion for the husband - he had a pretty horrible childhood and his family is still an unending source of drama for him.  But i am not sure anyone is better for sustaining the unsustainable.  Create something sustainable for you and your son.  Then, it's his decision on how to react.  Obviously, there's a lot of messiness and confusion in the actual implementation - and it's never easy to know what the line is - but i'd at least be moving in that direction, and then just/walk things backs slightly if needed.  

Thats why I think an ultimatum is appropriate.  He either steps up to the plate and actually takes responsibility and actually does the job he insisted on having (stay at home dad) or he gets a job so you can do it. Make it clear to him that those are his choices.  Stand your ground, I'd also be insisting on marriage counselling, you can't live like this for the rest of your life, something needs to change

Thats why I think an ultimatum is appropriate.  He either steps up to the plate and actually takes responsibility and actually does the job he insisted on having (stay at home dad) or he gets a job so you can do it. Make it clear to him that those are his choices.  Stand your ground, I'd also be insisting on marriage counselling, you can't live like this for the rest of your life, something needs to change

Such a heavy load of disappointments. Your legal career--one you've spent much time building--seems empty. Your spouse--a squared-away soldier turned frustratingly unemployed and directionless--and a baby calling out for mommy's love. From what you have shared, we agree that you should be frustrated. It is sad that your hard work towards a fulfilling and lucrative career seems to have hit a dead end--that your husband seems unwilling to lead, or even to contribute much--and you cannot, even for a season, just be a mom. Perhaps others have suggested counseling, but maybe my saying it a slightly different way will help:  You deserve a professional, trained, listening ear. You deserve to work these complicated matters through with one who has many tools to bring to the conversation. Others may suggest marriage and joint counseling, but I see that you may want to start with yourself. You cannot control your spouse, but you can regain your bearings, and gain an objective perspective. Consider treating yourself to wise, professional counsel. You deserve it!

unfortunately you can't undo such accusations. if it were me i'd probably move somewhere no one would know so my son could start over. unfortunately may take that.

Have you considered switching to work part time to where your income would be more similar to what his would be if he were to work?  Then you can have time with your son, you can have time to take care of the things your husband isn't doing, and you can put your husband in a position where he would at minimum have to work part-time as well in order to have money for extra indulgences.  From what you have written, it sounds like your husband has not made these decisions in counsel with you; if that is the case, putting yourselves in a position like that above would more easily put you on equal ground in terms of discussing things.  For all I know, you may both agree that having you work part time and your husband stay at home as well is a more appealing lifestyle for you both.
Another idea, pay your house off as quickly as possible (we paid ours off in less than 4 years from date of purchase), then your husband an work and the lack of mortgage payment would result in additional expendable income.
Or. . . do both!
Ultimately, from what you have written, it leads to the impression that your husband lacks ambition, if that is the case, that will become a bigger problem if/when more children come along.

First off, pray, a lot!  Pray for him, pray for your child, pray for yourself, pray for your family to be united and happy.
This is a hard situation, on one hand it makes sense that you earn more so he should be at home, on the other hand I can't imagine how hard that would be for you.  Also he isn't doing his job, his job (that he nominated himself for and insisted on having) is to be the homemaker and look after your child.  So that means childcare, cleaning, washing, cooking, all the stuff a stay at home parent does.  Not offloading his responsibilities to grandma (and you) so he can play video games! You have every right to be furious at him.
That being said, being furious is not going to get you what you want.  If he's going to get a job and go back to work it has to be his idea.  Have a serious talk to him, tell him you would feel more comfortable with the situation if he actually did all the stuff he was supposed to be doing.  Ask him if he knows how to do the laundry and if he needs you to show him.  Ask him if he needs some basic cooking books and a new vacuum cleaner to help him get organised.  Get him a planner and plan out his week with him.  What sort of activities is he doing with the child everyday?  Make a list and go through it with him.  INSIST that if he really wants to be a stay at home dad THIS is what it means.  Just because he's a man doesn't mean he doesn't have to do all these things, he's signing up for it, he needs to either do it properly or go back to work so you can do it.
He'll be so tired after a week he'll re-inlist, maybe that's what he really wants anyway, some people just love the military, and by the sounds of it the structure will do him good.

I used to have hobbies and then I got married and then I got a job and then I had a son. Basically, I can't go swimming, I can't go and play tennis I can't go to my old chess club because I work all day and then I get home and have to clean and cook dinner because God forbid my husband who has been at home all day makes his own food. Then I put my son to bed which is the highlight of my day then I go to bed because I am exhausted and have to be up in 6 hours. And why do I do that ? So my husband can play his games while I run around exhausted and miserable, making all this money I haven't even got time to spend, I buy my son toys and books online that I haven't got time to read to him. That my husband won't read to our son. I have had to give up everything that gives me pleasure including spending time with my son. So excuse me for wanting my husband to stop playing childish games and go to work .  

I leave home at 6:45 AM every day and work from 8AM to 7:30PM most days, I get home at 8:15. I put my son to bed if he isn't already asleep and that is all the interaction I have with him all day. I have to ask my husband and mother in law to not let him have a long nap during the day so I can spend some time with him in the evening. I know soon he won't nap at all and I will go days without interacting with him. 
The problem with working part time is that it won't stay part time. I have clients who request me and if I am working at all my law firm will give me their cases. 
 
 

OP is here and husband is not. So, my thoughts are narrowly focused on her. Wow, @Alia! You gained education to be a lawyer--and on scholarship, at that. Impressive. Could it be that Heavenly Father has gifted you in this area--that this is at least a portion of your "talents?" You were unfilled in your work. Could it be that you focused heavily on wanted to care for your child, such that the work became of secondary importance? Further, you may have felt guilt at not raising the child, and felt you needed to be the one physically caring for the baby? Thus, the work became a hindrance. It could be that lawyering is part of God's call on your life, otherwise why would God have granted you to spend so much time and energy, and to win such accolades?
As a total side note, I wonder if you hubby has considered re-enlisting. He may have lost some benefits by now, but it may be that the structure it offered helps him to thrive.

@Taylor Richards
i have left, but i have family who has not.  So i guess i'm in the position of your sister - though i take more nuanced views of some of the topics you mention.  
i'm coming to acknowledge that religious belief is something we "choose" based on our emotions and justify based on our reason - but believe is the exact opposite.  Trying to fix an emotional sense of betrayal and rejection with indignation, disappointment, appeals to the past, and intellectual arguments  is not something i've seen work.  As in not ever.  Maybe that's not true for everyone, but it seems to me to be true more often than not.  
The suggestion i'd make (having never thought i'd have to stoop to something so cliched) is to stop trying to change her.  It's been helpful to me to focus on the relationship.  Or at least view it that way.  That encourages healthy boundaries/respect and good interactions, rather than trying to change the other person - which almost inevitably poisons the relationship.  
i'll send you one interview i thought was good.  i'm not allowed to post it directly, but not because of content - just because of the source.  It's one with Phil Barlow.  It's just a really thoughtful interview that acknowledges the realities both sides face.
Though it might be good to wait several months before sharing it.  It takes a very long time for most people to get over the feelings you've expressed your sister as having experienced.  The odds of her watching anything you send her are going to be very small for now.
Remember, ex-Mormons have stereotypes as to how Mormons treat someone who has left that are just as strong as the ones Mormons have about how ex-Mormons behave.  We'd all be better off if we broke one another's stereotypes.
Sorry to hear you are dealing with this.  It's painful for everyone.
All - sorry - i know i'm not supposed to use the term Mormon, but i couldn't make that sentence make any kind of sense to a person who is new any other way.  If you want to see it formed another way, let me know, and i will be happy to change it.

What is being done to your is severe sexual harassment -- you SHOULD be upset.  Block the number, and email HR now.  Since this is through work, you have the HR people to help you deal with this horrible behavior.  There are established protocols to deal with this type of behavior, establish consequences, and keep it from happening again (to you or other people).  
 

Welp, I’m quitting again. I hope I can make it longer than last time.

So this is not an attempt to tell people how to interpret things or to make a case for anything.  But i'd really suggest that before anyone quotes a bible passage to prove a point, that they ask themselves:
1.  Which of the Bible's 3 dozen or so known and unknown authors wrote it?
2.  Was the person who experienced it the person who wrote about it?  
3.  How long after it occurred was it written about?  
4.  Who has copied it?
5.  Who decided it should be included in the canon?
6.  Who translated it into the language you are reading it in? (Recommend reading the Greek or the Hebrew).  
And then just remember that for much of the Bible, lifting a verse would be like lifting half a sentence from an unknown someone's personal journal/letters, that lived thousands of years ago, has been copied dozens of times, and then translated from an ancient language by someone who brought all sorts of personal biases to the interpretation, into a form that barely beat out the hundreds of other similar texts that came awfully close to making into the canon.
i mean, because if we're lifting verses, we may as well lift the gems like Psalms 137:9, too.
i get that people give credence to more modern day sources, and if you do that, that's fine.  That's not really something that can be objectively argued for, or against.  But at least for the Bible, i think it's worth the time to think about things like this.
And i've got to give credit to @marge for all the links.  She is nothing short of a Biblical Scholar - though i don't want to infer that she agrees with anything i say or believe.

I'm Australian so here we have Medicare, which I guess in theory is 'free healthcare for everyone' but its not perfect, and costs the government money it really doesn't have.  
There are also really long waiting lists, when my child was 2 years old for example he needed a minor operation for his ears (grommets) the waiting list was almost 2 years for the operation to be done on medicare.  My doctor looked me straight in the eye and told me my son would be permanently deaf if I waited that long.  So I paid the $900 for the operation to be done straight away.
Once you are on a certain income level you are forced to have full private health insurance (hospital cover, not just extras like dental/physio/optical) or the tax department will basically fine you when you do your taxes (its called the medicare levy and its between 1-2% of your annual income).  I'm in a small family (2 adults and our child is free until he is 21) and have mid level hospital cover and high level extras (we need the top level optical and dental) and it costs us $190 f/n (which is almost double what our 'fine' would be).  A lot of people can't afford a bill like that or the fine if they don't have it.
The system has many problems, the income thresholds are not very high so anyone in an upper middle class situation is forced to pay for health insurance that they probably can't afford or pay the government a average of a couple of thousand dollars at tax time.  The taxation system is not the best here either, once you hit a certain income level you are taxed 50cents out of every dollar, so when you get a pay rise, you're likely only to see half of it, but that pay rise has landed you in the 'income bracket' for the medicare levy so now you have a $5000 a year health insurance bill or get a fine at tax time.  So a lot of the time the pay rise lands you financially worse off than before you had it in the first place.
Its good for low income earners to have access to somewhat ok health cover (until waiting lists send their children deaf!) its ok for really high income earners because it doesn't really effect them, but its terrible for anyone considered middle or upper middle class ($80 to $120K for singles $160K-$250K for families), because most can't afford to have private health insurance and at the same time, can't afford not to have it.
My husband calls it socialism, which he thinks is way to close to communism.  But he does get a bit extra passionate about politics!

Here goes nothing... I’m giving it all up when I run out of cigs today.