NeuroTypical

Yeah, the church is true, the church office building is not. Here in CO, we spent half of 2010 and all of 2011 hearing about how wireless was coming. It was announced in our meetings often, and over the podium in sacrament meeting more than once. Then there was a big silence. I took out my iGizmo, found the wireless signal, and it asked for a password. I asked our 2nd counselor (software professional who always dresses up as Ensign Redshirt for halloween) for the password. He looked sheepish and said "oh, yeah. We're not giving the password out. It's so abysmally slow, we're having trouble just sending normal reports."

Several things:1- Here in Colorado (and many other states as well), it is legal to grow here. Hence my earlier advice that the OP learn about his source and chose wisely. 2- Cartels don't go out of business. They are no longer adequately thought about as cartels. They are multinational criminal organizations. And they're dealing with the dent in their MJ business in a few different ways. One way is by expanding out into other areas, like kidnapping for money or beefing up their prostitution and child slavery. You may have noticed the occasional news story here and there over the last few years. Another way is by fighting back - by bringing violence and murder across the border into our country. The US is muscling in on their territory, so they fight back. A headless corpse here, a full-blown assasination squad dressed as Arizona law enforcement there. You need to pay closer attention to the news here, because folks don't necessarily blame it on the MCOs. 3- Regarding tax revenue, CO experience has been sort of iffy. With state, county, and local laws in constant flux and change, it's been hugely difficult to get any sort of stable business going, and sort through the contradictory and outdated paperwork to figure out what taxes to pay to who. Mind you zenbones, I'm not arguing with you. Just pointing out how complex the issue is. I can't speak to other states, but here in CO, medical mj efforts have basically legalized MJ for everyone, regardless of medical need. We have a ton of dispensaries everywhere here. Their average customer is a male between 18 and 40. Strangely enough, before legalization, the average MJ user was a male between 18 and 40. Even more strangely, people with chronic pain and PTSD and other needs span genders and ages - yet their numbers are dwarfed by the usual potheads who have learned to game the system to get their 'legitimate needs' filled.And again, I'll repeat until I'm blue in the face. Even if you're going through legal channels and doing things legally, you still might be paying into the coffers of the murdering child sex slavers. And that's not exageration or hyperbole.

An in the absence of divine guidance, not giving money to multinational criminal organizations who kidnap, murder, and traffic in child sex slaves would seem to be a foregone conclusion too. Just sayin'...

You are paying their bills and giving them a roof, so they can be jobless addict baby factories? And you're doing it out of misplaced irrational guilt? That doesn't sound like what a mother should do. That sort of sounds like abandoning them to their problems, and enabling their lifestyle. My wife is working with a jobless alcoholic girl and her parents. The parents have given her a deal - complete detox and rehab and get a job, and the parents will give her a roof. If she ends up in the ER or jail again, does not make and keep detox/rehab appointments, and is not employed by a reasonable date, she will be evicted. Of course the parents love her and want her to pick the first option, but they realize they're not doing their daughter any favors by enabling her behavior. Now your situation is more complex, with the spouses and children. But at the end of the day, it's your house and your rules. You and your hubby are the responsible adults - work with them to set out a plan to get them clean, employed, and out. Addicts and apathetic bums are experts at calling bluffs. Make arrangements to have them forcibly evicted (maybe have the cops present). Tell them your grandkids can stay, but the jobless addicts are out. After they see some reality, then you can negotiate a plan to let them come back. And you stick to it. It takes much strength from you, and a good support system for you, and lots of praying. But that's one good way to handle it.

I appreciate the backup, but I want to make something very clear: Even 'legal' MJ you get from a 'legal' dispensary can come from these horrible sources. The US is in a period of much change and nonpermanence in medical MJ right now. States, counties, and local govts all have different (and often contradicting) laws. The supposed top governing law is federal, which still says MJ is illegal in all it's forms. The current administration is currently not enforcing federal law on purpose, making all this confusion possible. So yeah, if you don't want to be supporting kidnapping, murders, corrput governments, and child prostitution, you have to do more than go through 'legal' channels. You have to personally know and understand where your MJ is coming from.

Welcome TSR. My wife has PTSD - I understand a little about nightmares and sleep disorders. I'm not really able to cast judgement one way or the other, but I do have a question to ask: Where does your marijuana come from? Is it locally grown by some local businessman, or is it grown in colombia by multinational criminal organizations and smuggled into the US in the same shipment as their latest batch of child sex slaves? No, I'm not trying to toss some hidden sarcastic jab at you. It's just that I know a thing or two about where the US's MJ comes from, legal or illegal, and both situations are entirely possible and common. Something to think about. Sort of similar to asking if we pay attention to the living conditions of the animals who give us our meat and dairy.

I dislike the term anti-mormon. It's vague and usually used as an insult, or as a way to categorize someone into an easily dissmissable category. I prefer the term "church criticism". This phrase also makes it pretty darn easy to answer your question. Church criticism is criticism leveled at my faith or it's members. Church critics are people who produce said criticism. I've never been counseled to avoid it. In fact, I spent over a decade seeking it out, and interacting with critics wherever I found them. I attended a few "are Mormons Christian" classes thrown by our local megachurch while I was executive seceretary. The bishop asked me for a brief summary of what they were teaching once or twice.I reached my peak on the Reachout Trust countercult message forums, when I got several of their big hitter posters to admit to the possibility that I might be a saved Christian. In my opinion, you should first have a very firm grip on what you believe and why you believe it, before going out looking for arguments against it. If you believe something because "that's how you were raised" or you "just never thought about it before", then church criticism can be a huge testimony-damaging destructive force - because your testimony is based on heresay and tradition, instead of the reality and divinity of Jesus Christ.

I honestly don't know one way or the other. But in the last decade or so, the notion has taken hold and is pretty widely accepted these days. Our church no longer rejects the idea out of hand like it once did.At the end of the day, there are a ton of adults out there who identify themselves as gay, who tell very similar stories of just always 'being this way'. They have different but similar stories from their childhoods supporting the claim. *shrug* I dunno. But I can't really reject the idea either.

You can move to another state, and help your wife honor her father and mother from arms length, from a position of strength. I am constantly amazed how much garbage and nonsense and grief we no longer have to go through, with 668.6 miles and a big honkin' mountain range between their front door and mine. Heh - that's only a valid question from you, when your kids get married.

Sorry - I should define my terms. Hookup: Some Gay people will go to Mormon-run support groups for people suffering from same sex attraction, so that they can find other gay people to have sex with. They use our meetings as a sleazy singles bar. The exact opposite impact that the meetings are for. (Or were you claiming that YSA YM/YW activities are also used in this way?)

So, if he's not talking his love language with you, who is he talking it with?Of course I don't know one way or the other - but it would be a strong suspicion in my mind at this point. Much more likely than some mental issue. I would consider confronting him directly about it. You might want to ask him if he is interested in staying married. This is one of the more common, and less helpful, ways that wives think about such things. You don't fix him. You can't fix him. You can't change him. Such things are not in your control - no matter how much you figure they ought to be, or should be. He must choose fix/change himself. You can't discuss or argue or explain or pressure or manipulate him into doing it. It can be quite a frightening realization for a young wife like you - but it's important to understand.

While you're coming down this shocking learning curve, here's another doozy for you. I've been told by more than one reliable person, that various SSA groups and meetings run by or affiliated with the church, are a great place for active gay folks with an LDS background to hook up with each other. Hope nobody is getting whiplash from this thread - but these are the facts on the ground.

So then, what's up with Cherubim and six wings and flaming coals and all that?

Great post, Traveler. If you ever tire of the screen name Traveler, I suggest Atticus. :) Before I got my firearm and permit, I spent about a year researching the issue, reading people's stories, etc. There were umpteen stories of people who had likely stopped or avoided a crime by merely brandishing a concealed weapon. But to your point, when people fired their weapon and someone was injured, most stories tell of a massive impact to the person. Phrases like "I changed that day" and "I'm no longer the same person" rule the day. From the stories I've seen, you shoot someone in self defense, you tend to come out the other side a more somber, less happy person. That, along with the high chances of tens of thousand dollars of legal bills and a possibly multiyear legal battle, really struck home for me as I considered carrying.The reason I decided to carry, is that in most of these stories, there is also the notion of "I may not be the same person, but I still get to be alive and [raise my kids, enjoy my marriage, etc.]. I have found few people who say "I'm glad I did it", but I have found several who say "I would do it again". At the end of the day, my wife and I helped put a felon behind bars, and he probably gets out this year. He is not happy with us. We live far away from him, to lessen the odds of him coming after us. We have also got word out that we will defend ourselves, hoping that will deter him. Further, we practice situational awareness and physical training that could be characterized as "99 ways to run the heck the other way, one way to stand and fight" - hoping that if he comes looking for us, we can avoid or evade him. Deter, avoid, evade. That's what we're hoping for, in the order we're hoping to see them work. But if none of that works, I wanna be there the next day to still be in my family's life. I want them there the next day to be my wife and kids. So I'll do what I have to do, even though it might make me a less happy person. You don't tell us - if you had it to do over, would you still take action to preserve your life?

The 5 love languages book is a great way to find out how to love someone else. What's his love language?

I'm still wondering why you believe there are scars. I mean, the purpose of repentence is to heal and make clean. Unless there was abuse or something, why are you thinking there are scars at all?

Just to make sure- do you mean scared (afraid), or scarred (bearing scars)?And what leads you to believe she is either?

I can help you with your ignorance, HG. It isn't about overpowering a man down and forcing him. It's about power games, humiliation, manipulation, blackmail or other leverage, and other lovely tricks. Yes, it also can involve drugging a guy, or taking advantage of a drunk guy. Grown men, adolescents, teenage males - it happens. Only a fraction as often as males rape, but yeah, it happens. And yeah, the victims often suffer incredible shame, often because they think like you - what kind of real man would let himself get raped? I don't know anything about the push you're talking about. The only person I know talking about it is Vort. Maybe he could speak to your claim.

I don't know that a NY judge has the authority to revoke a permit issued by another state... It depends on the character and disposition of the agency and individual officer. Not all law enforcement knows their own local carry laws, much less what their state accepts from other states. Further, not all law enforcement agrees even if they do know. There is no shortage of bad stories of legally permitted run-ins with law enforcement. Overturned arrests, excessive force, etc. My local cops are very cc friendly - the chief ran for county sherriff recently on the platform of removing the permit requirement. But 60 miles to the north, somone pulled over by Denver cops had to sue to have their legally permitted carry firearm returned. There is always heated and emotional debate in the carrying community on the subject. In my biased opinion, most open carry advocates I talk to seem to have the emotional maturity of a teenager demanding their rights to have a tattoo. Their reasoning tends to focus on making a statement about freedom and liberty first, and protection second.

Oh hey, anonymous forums are great sounding boards - if the posters have any brains to them. And there are lot of smart and wise posters here. From what I can see, you have two problems. The first problem is being financially dependent on them in whatever way you are. The second problem is your wife is still only part your wife, and the other part is still dependent child. If I had a magic wish granter, I'd take your problems away for you for a nickel. But I don't, so I can't. But I can say, the more you and your wife are able to lessen, mitigate, or remove those two problems, the better things will get between inlaws and you.

Regardless of age, we have many children on these forums. I've been one myself on occasion.

Heh - people are picking me for Exec Sec and Ward Clerk. I've had both those callings. Either y'all are inspired, or my Bishops have been able to see the blindingly obvious.

YES, absolutely YES! The Anti-smoking campaign that began in the 60s took a generation to take hold. Today, smoke in public and be prepared for unkind rebukes. Ok - one response - that had to reach back 50 years for a valid example.When I looked back into my own past, I had to reach back to the Reagan "what if there is a bear" campaign commercial from three decades ago. When you consider the billions of dollars spent on ad campaigns every year, and the abysmally low impact people are talking about here, perhaps y'all can see why I'm not too excited about this story. Except for a few statistically insignificant anecdotes, ad campaigns tend to fail abysmally at whatever they're trying to do. (My gripe doesn't have anything to do with the validity of the message, of course.)

I guess I just can't get as excited about an ad campaign as many of the rest of you. Maybe I just never heard any success stories. Has anyone here ever made a major lifestyle change due to a commercial they saw, or a poster, or an insert in the newspaper? Any crises resolved? Any crossroads in life resolved? What's the biggest impact y'all have had, due to an advertisement?

How is this brilliant? I mean, if it stops one rape it's money well spent, but I don't see the brilliance, or even much in the way of effectiveness...