NeuroTypical

At least watch Pewdepie!  You need veggies on that meat! 
 

The picture was cropped from a family portrait taken on my birthday seven years ago, on the occasion of my dad's funeral. Everyone else in the picture is smiling broadly, but I wasn't feeling particularly smiley. But for the record, I wasn't scowling. That's just what my face looks like (or what it looked like seven years ago).

Your wife is super awesome NT!  
 
Ohmygoodness yes about the chicken ladies!
One of them roped me into becoming one.  So, this chicken lady used to be just another normal lady living in suburbia when some financial difficulty hit so she had to sell her house.  She has 4 dobermans, a pit bull, and a boxer so it is not easy to get someplace to rent so she ended up renting this raggedy house that comes with 2 acres of wild property abutting a 20-acre government-owned undeveloped land.  And because she had land, she got a horse.  She got the horse from a woman who also raised chickens.  So she got a chicken.  From there she got to quitting her hair-dresser job to be a full-time chicken lady with a line of champions.  Her silkie just won the grand pooh-bah of all prizes at this super prestigious chicken show over the weekend.  Anyway, she's the reason I have chickens.  But she didn't end there.  She has geese and turkeys and ducks and all kinds of feathery things...
So, one day, something happened to the gander... some lump on its head.  So she sliced the gander's head, took out the lump, and stitched the head back closed.  I was, !  Goose was happy to get her husband back.  Apparently, geese are super romantic that if their mate dies they just go ahead and die too.  So she saved 2 geese with one operation.
 

She's taken her act online these days - helping people with sick or injured poultry.  The other day she was facetiming at 4am with some guy from Australia, walking him through bandaging up his chicken that had been mauled by a dog.   There were half a dozen cards and gifts under our tree this year for her, sent by appreciative folks she'd helped.  Pretty much nobody else does this - your average vet won't see a chicken, because it's a friggin' chicken - go buy another one. Poultry vet medicine isn't very advanced for the same reason.  But the worldwide spread and growth of crazy chicken ladies and hobby ranches, means there's an unfilled need for people who love the feathery things like pets. 
My life's biggest regret is that I've often been a source of pain and hurt for her.  I took 20 years of married life, to get on top of some childhood baggage, and it's stressed our marriage.  But she still remains a fascinating wonderful unique creature, and I'm lucky to have her. 

Meanwhile, this is just wrong:

She's taken her act online these days - helping people with sick or injured poultry.  The other day she was facetiming at 4am with some guy from Australia, walking him through bandaging up his chicken that had been mauled by a dog.   There were half a dozen cards and gifts under our tree this year for her, sent by appreciative folks she'd helped.  Pretty much nobody else does this - your average vet won't see a chicken, because it's a friggin' chicken - go buy another one. Poultry vet medicine isn't very advanced for the same reason.  But the worldwide spread and growth of crazy chicken ladies and hobby ranches, means there's an unfilled need for people who love the feathery things like pets. 
My life's biggest regret is that I've often been a source of pain and hurt for her.  I took 20 years of married life, to get on top of some childhood baggage, and it's stressed our marriage.  But she still remains a fascinating wonderful unique creature, and I'm lucky to have her. 

She's taken her act online these days - helping people with sick or injured poultry.  The other day she was facetiming at 4am with some guy from Australia, walking him through bandaging up his chicken that had been mauled by a dog.   There were half a dozen cards and gifts under our tree this year for her, sent by appreciative folks she'd helped.  Pretty much nobody else does this - your average vet won't see a chicken, because it's a friggin' chicken - go buy another one. Poultry vet medicine isn't very advanced for the same reason.  But the worldwide spread and growth of crazy chicken ladies and hobby ranches, means there's an unfilled need for people who love the feathery things like pets. 
My life's biggest regret is that I've often been a source of pain and hurt for her.  I took 20 years of married life, to get on top of some childhood baggage, and it's stressed our marriage.  But she still remains a fascinating wonderful unique creature, and I'm lucky to have her. 

NT's wife seriously rocks.

This is one of the many such stories I've gathered about my cool wife over the years:
My wife was sitting in the play place at McDonalds with our two kids, and she couldn't help but overhear a conversation happening behind her. There was a mom and dad, and their 19 year old daughter who had her own place. The mom was on the verge of tears, the dad sounded frustrated and angry. The daughter sounded like she'd rather be anywhere else but here, but had her heels dug in and was resolved to get something communicated to her parents.
The conversation got a bit louder as it progressed. The daughter loudly says something like "That's right - they pay me to take my clothes off for money dad! You need to start dealing with it!" My wife tells me her neck muscles just started working on their own, rotating her head around against her will to look at the people. All three of them stop talking and look at my wife, like they expect her to say something and fix it.
So, my wife looked at the girl brightly and asked "Pole or cage?" In the same tone that someone would use if someone had told her they'd taken up fishing, and she was asking 'fresh or saltwater'.
The parents eyes got pretty large, and the dad looked like he was about to come out of his seat. The girl assumed she'd found someone that would be on her side of the discussion, and said there was a pole on the stage, but 'she didn't really like to use it'.
My wife then asked "Did they tell you what it's there for?" The girl stuttered a bit, wondering how to put her answer into terms that she could say in front of her parents. My wife let her know the pole was there to give the dancer something to hold on to, to make it harder to get grabbed and dragged down into the audience. And the cage is there to delay someone getting to her for a few seconds until security could pull them away. The girl turned a shade or two whiter as she caught the vision.
My wife asked if the place had security. The girl said there was a bouncer who stayed near the back of the place at the bar. My wife looked shocked, and said it was a lot more desirable to have a line of beefy guys between the stage and the crowd.
My wife then talked a bit about the kinds of guys who show up on the front row of a strip club, and said very sympathetically "So, when you get beat up or worse for the first time, give me a call." The girl got another shade paler, and left with her parents - sort of leaning on her father as she'd become a bit unsteady on her feet. They all left so fast she forgot to get my wife's number, so we'll probably never know.

You almost have the right idea - but I think you don't quite get it because of the terms you use.  Instead of "Humans"; try  the term "the Natural Man".  Other than that - I think we are seeing the mostly the same problem.
 
The Traveler

Drive to work: Whatever my favorite AM talk radio host is talking about, plus non-tragedyesque headline/local news on another station.
Then it's a various smattering of BBC.com, WSJ, occasionally Google News headlines.  Usually reading the headlines is enough to find out what people are talking about.  When I hear people mentioning or talking about a news item, I'll occasionally Google News it, and find the most local reporting I can.  The general principle is to drink water close to the spring's source, because the further down the river you drink, the more cows have wallowed through it.  In-depth analyses are ok too.
For urgent breaking news (like the California fires for example), they're best covered by local reporters on the ground, and the occasional law-enforcement twitter account.  There are live-access weather stations dotting the country.  
Hugh Hewitt is the absolute hands-down level-best politics show on radio.  I'm bummed out they moved him from my drive home, to the middle of the day. 
Oh - for geopolitical trends, stratfor.org is most best.  They make money by correctly forecasting, not by pushing their agenda.  
Oh - also, I try hard to keep good relations with a handful of facebook arguing buddies, because they share links and opinions and news that I just can't get anywhere else.  Because other than online, I really don't run in anarchist/transgender/left wing/lds-critical circles.

I used to have that.  Then they stopped having work for me to do at work, and after long enough of that, I've lost my drive to work.  Now, if I just didn't have to drive to work I could get paid to stay home.  Then I might find my own stuff to do and I could regain my drive to work without having to drive to work.

Where do you get your news? I have added a few choices but I have probably missed a lot! Let me know and if the system allows I will add. (You can only have so many questions.) 
By the way, there are free apps for news: CBC, Guardian, BBC. Most news apps only allow you to use them for about 10 days and then demand payment but the previous are free. If you know of any free news apps for national/international news, could you let me know? Thanks!
i think that it is possible to live in the same neighbourhood and live in completely different world politically depending on where you get your news.

I went to a local 4th of July parade.  The mission entered a float in the parade that allowed them to dress as missionaries to meet the theme.  At the fair immediately after the parade, they had bouncy houses and other children's games and had the missionaries collecting the money for them.  While your children were in the bouncy house, you had no option but to stand there with missionaries.  We spoke briefly, unknowingly answering their questions.  Because we were friendly, they immediately called our ward missionaries and described us to them.  We were eating lunch and they walked by.  My wife made eye contact, which opened the door to conversation.  The rest is history.  
Interestingly, the current missionaries are obviously not the same missionaries from that day as many have passed through since then.  However, they showed me the notes the missionaries pass on to their replacements.  Big and bold at the top of the notes about me is "DO NOT EVER BE LATE TO A MEETING WITH HIM, HE WILL TELL YOU TO LEAVE". 
I'll bet you guys are regretting that now.

Usually, dry boring arguments about tax theory will erupt into fun stories about Craigslist.  This thread seems to have it backwards.
 

Hi Jake, you should do two things:
First, go talk to her.  Smile when you walk over to her.  Be friendly, find something to compliment.  Offer to buy her lunch or something.  If you're over 16 and everyone's parents are ok with it, maybe ask her out. 
Second, get better at using the shift key.  Chicks dig proper capitalization.  
Let us know how it goes!

Usually, dry boring arguments about tax theory will erupt into fun stories about Craigslist.  This thread seems to have it backwards.
 

Usually, dry boring arguments about tax theory will erupt into fun stories about Craigslist.  This thread seems to have it backwards.
 

Yes, it's practically turned my world inside out.  I think I nearly lost consciousness.  I may need a bon bon to help restore my strength.

Hooray - I'm "Cannot connect to our server - try again later."  !!!

Hi Jake, you should do two things:
First, go talk to her.  Smile when you walk over to her.  Be friendly, find something to compliment.  Offer to buy her lunch or something.  If you're over 16 and everyone's parents are ok with it, maybe ask her out. 
Second, get better at using the shift key.  Chicks dig proper capitalization.  
Let us know how it goes!

For those of you wishing to abstain from the threadjack and talk Craigslist, this is required viewing.
 
Got a trash can of Styrofoam peanuts, you can have em for free
You can drop by on the weekend and pick em up from me
But the trash can ain't part of the deal
Only givin' you the peanuts, get real
Don't have no Hefty bags, so bring your own
Don't bug me with questions on the phone
Don't ask for help, don't waste my time
And don't complain, cause they won't cost you a dime
Just ask yourself
Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?
You can have my Styrofoam peanuts
Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?
You can have 'em all

Hi Jake, you should do two things:
First, go talk to her.  Smile when you walk over to her.  Be friendly, find something to compliment.  Offer to buy her lunch or something.  If you're over 16 and everyone's parents are ok with it, maybe ask her out. 
Second, get better at using the shift key.  Chicks dig proper capitalization.  
Let us know how it goes!