Misshalfway

Exactly. Who really knows Dan, the person? Between all the judging of Dan, and all the judging of those who are judging Dan, has anyone just reached out to get to know Dan? Even the idea that "an example will help him" seems judgy too. It's like it's assumed that something is "wrong" with him....something that needs to be "changed". What happened to just be a good old fashioned garden variety friend to people? No one likes to be judged. And it's equally insulting to be made a project.

I try so hard to live by that. But the truth is, part of me is always bugged when people act like boneheads.

I think a husband who says "I don't know babe, anything you want" is a husband who listens, who isn't concerned about unrighteous (or any other kind) of dominion, and who is....well....cool. He sounds like a man who is secure in his relationship, secure with himself, and secure with the idea that his wife might need some time away with friends once in a while. This one statement screams "health", imo. While I appreciate that some take certain passages of the Bible literally and apply them in rather rigid and "literal" ways too, I don't see how that application could improve on the gentle ease that already seems present in the relationship. It's ok NOT to have an opinion on everything. God even says he won't command in all things. Why isn't it ok for a husband to take the same stand?

Here is what I found. Pet MRE -12 Pack Food Dog Pet Survival Kits,Disaster Preparedness Supplies,Dog-Cat MRE

I don't think so. I've got to run to a service project just now. But I'll post the link where I found them later if you want.

You could just make yourself one. I had a friend make me one in college that said, "Molly Mormon." "Molly" back then was kind of an honorary title in our little cohort. It meant any girl who was true to her covenants and cool too. :) Anyway, there was a little shop in the university mall that would make them.

Neither did I. But they do! They have pet first aid kits too. In fact, you can buy a ready made 72 hr kit for your cat or dog for an almost low price.

Is there another "low impact" way to make up for that 30 %? Like a little part time job in the new town? But it does make one heartsick to take a loss on the sale of the house and all that. I can see why you are so conflicted.

I just redid my 72 hr kits and they were covered in maggots. I realized that I'd packed a kit for the dog and hadn't sealed the dog food well enough. It was gross. I decided to get some pet MRE's instead. Hoping for better luck this time around.

Yes...it does sound like a very interesting journey. Hope to hear about it sometime. Welcome to the forums.

Ok then. I'll just concentrate on how completely awesome it would be to spend a kabillion dollars on the house I want. :)

So...what exactly is your question about the nature of angels?

I love your heart felt remarks. Thank you for being so willing to share your insight. I have some questions about this in my mind. While I appreciate that our dispositions need to change to, 1) become like God, and 2) to overcome sin, I wonder about that "losing the desire" thing. If the neuropathways are formed in the brain, I think that the person could very well experience a form of "desire" (or maybe craving is a better word) even if the person has changed a great deal in terms of spiritual dispositional changes. I guess what I'm saying is that feeling a craving, which tends to happen even years down the road, may not be the best indicator for change.

Forgive that I didn't read the entire thread.... But what I want in all the world is a big house, with a big living room, and a big kitchen. And it has to be on the lake with awesome outdoor dining on the back patio. I want this because I love architecture and I've always dreamed of designing my own house. And I love the psychology of place.....I just want to create a space that is warm...and notably me. But more than any of that, I wish more than anything to fill that house with my family and dear friends. And I would eat, pray, & laugh together with those beautiful precious people. I have loneliness in my life. It's not something I speak of often. But in my secret wishes, this would be my favorite greatest blessing of all. :)

I do not want them to allow it. I do not think the church ever will allow it. I'm not too worried about my membership because I do not think the church will ever change it's position on this.

It happens. I think we need to listen to the children without quick dismissals. I think we need to validate them until we know more. But kids really do tell lies about this stuff and some do it maliciously. (Sorry. I'm going to edit my remarks and remove the story I just shared. I thought better about sharing it. Please excuse me.)

I can see what you are saying and I agree. I think I just see shame, and guilt for that matter, a little differently. People feel toxic/unnecessary guilt too. I think it's important, though, to understand that shame, as an emotion, isn't going anywhere. It's like trying to get rid of anger or fear. We don't get rid of them. We shouldn't. We need them as part of the human survival system. But we can refine them, control the way we judge or react to them. We can and should do our work, in terms of getting toxic thoughts out of our heads, which is essential to recovery and repentance. But so is getting ok with the emotions we feel. It's ok to feel shame just like it is ok to feel any emotion. We want people to feel shame about sexual behavior in particular. When people don't, we get sex offenders. It's all a question of balance and then developing the skills to deal effectively with emotional experience. Compulsive sex is about blocking emotional experiencing. Like the OP. He has stress and he doesn't like it/doesn't know what to do with it, so he medicates it. The answer is learning how to feel...and then how to deal. Real emotional health isn't just a transition of what one is suppressing.

We need to do better at teaching the law of chastity without shaming sexual development/feelings.

I really like a lot of what you've said here. Understanding the neuroscience can be helpful for a number of reasons. It explains why it's so hard to stop and it helps to cut through the shame one feels about themselves. I also really like how you give permission to mb at first. I agree that taking away the "forbidden-ness" helps to break ones attractions to it. I think this is a courageous things to do. Hard if the wife isn't able to tolerate it in any degree. And hard to do in our LDS culture. But it can be so helpful. It's akin to stopping the shame about having sexual feelings. If you realize that sexual feelings are part health (both spiritual and physical) then you decrease the powerlessness that often drives addictive processes. I will say one thing about shame. Not all shame is bad. Shame is actually an essential part to a fully functioning emotional system. It's the shame one feels about who they are that is toxic. But we need the healthy shame that tells us when we are out of bounds. There is a reason that porn use and mb is a shame producer. The shame feelings are trying to tell us something. It's how we interpret and react to these feelings that makes all the difference.

So, it sounds like porn and masturbation are your primary coping mechanism. You feel stress, you use. Does this sound right?

Yes, women are watching porn. And the numbers are rising. The internet has changed the game for all of us. Women get the same hit of dopamine that medicates feelings or makes them feel wanted. And they masturbate too.

This feels like an understatement. :) Two inches of fabric separates beach volleyball from anatomy class. I have sat next to men who, while watching the olympic volleyball girls, said a very simple and lusty "Thank you, ladies". I'm not sure I understand the evolution of how those bikini bottoms came about. I can't even understand how it would be comfortable to play with those riding the way they do. It baffles the mind. And watching men respond this way makes me uncomfortable.

I love the Bay! I was born there! Well, not right in the bay. :) Welcome to the forums.

I think the "one piece" counsel came out before all the options that are presented today, like the tankini. If you start shopping for sporting swimsuits, you could cover your whole body if you want to. I think the idea is keeping modest and there are lots of ways to do that. Some one piece suits are not modest at all. Remember all the french cut ones from the 80's? What I would have given for a tankini option back then.

Swim suit hunting is one of my most unfavorite activities. It makes me miss my 24 yr old body that could wear anything. I just found a swimsuit at Eddie Bauer. It was one of their miracle suits. I bought the skirt and some board shorts to match so I'd have options. I love the board shorts. They cover my thighs which makes me feel more covered and they are still sporty and cute. And I can take them off or swim in them if I want. I also made sure to buy the tankini so that I could mix and match .....and also so it's easier to go pee when your swimsuit is wet. :)