A question to all LDS men...

[LDSNanny]

Hello...my friend and I were discussing this, and we thought we would get some guys opinions! Would you seriously date a convert to the LDS? Because, as you all know, once you join the Church, you get a "clean slate", and (for the most part) what you did in your previous life as non-LDS, is forgetten. So, knowing that a woman did not previously following the WoW regarding all of its teachings, would you consider dating or even possibly marrying and be sealed to that person? We are awaiting your responses!

[LDSNanny]

P.S. Please forgive the typos. It is rather late where I am, and I am afraid my brain is fried! :)

[Hemidakota]

Absolutely. My wife is a convert and standfast in the gospel and its principle.

When we draw closer to the Godhead, being obedience to HIS will and striving always to keep the commandments, the veil of forgetfulness grows thin to our past.

[WillowTheWhisp]

I know I'm not a guy but I couldn't resist mentioning that some born in the church members don't always keep all of the commandments. Sometimes converts can be more true to something because they don't take it so much for granted.

[checkerboy]

OK well I married a girl that wasn't a convert but she still had a past. I don't know what being a convert has to do with it. We all make mistakes and it is really sucky if you judge someone based on their past. So I suppose to answer your question, yes I would date a convert. In fact the more recently converted the better. They are usually still glowing with the spirit.

[KeithLBrown]

. . . some born in the church members don't always keep all of the commandments. Sometimes converts can be more true to something because they don't take it so much for granted.

I would absolutely date and/or marry a convert to the Church. May I take it one step further and give us all something to think about. As our testimonies grow, are we not all converts to the Church in a sense? We are all striving to be perfect, but we are not perfect. Only the Church is perfect. I have to say that I wholeheartedly agree that oftentimes converts are more true to the faith then those born into the Church or who have been members for quite some time.

[Guest tomk]

Hello...my friend and I were discussing this, and we thought we would get some guys opinions! Would you seriously date a convert to the LDS? Because, as you all know, once you join the Church, you get a "clean slate", and (for the most part) what you did in your previous life as non-LDS, is forgetten. So, knowing that a woman did not previously following the WoW regarding all of its teachings, would you consider dating or even possibly marrying and be sealed to that person? We are awaiting your responses!

Absolutely!

Married 13 years now -- so I guess for me it is moot.

Hey, aren't we ALL converts?

[tubaloth]

Would you seriously date a convert to the LDS?

Is she cute?

If the person (sense this is both men and woman) is living the gospel correctly, you really can’t tell if and when they become a convert. I think sometimes I expect that I would be able to tell, but only if you are really new, can you tell. Even people I have talked to for a while I find out the joined the church with in the last year.

Its how well they are living the gospel now. Then I would “seriously” consider it.

Because, as you all know, once you join the Church, you get a "clean slate", and (for the most part) what you did in your previous life as non-LDS, is forgetten

The sinning part wouldn’t bother me that much (unless it is still going on). It would more be what habits have been picked up over the years. There are some things being Raised as LDS would be different for a convert. I’m not saying these are deal breakers, I would just have to look long and hard if these habits are something that can be overlook, or that might need working on.

So, knowing that a woman did not previously following the WoW regarding all of its teachings, would you consider dating or even possibly marrying and be sealed to that person?

How bad are her teeth? How long did she/he drink and smoke? How long have they stopped. Why did they start it in the first place? (I have heard people drink and or smoke to relax, or for what ever reason) has this person found a new way to relax or are they going to go back to it. I bring this up not to judge, but to realize that changing a life style isn’t easy. (I know I would have a hard time being a Baptist, they are always so tan.) Each situation would be different.

[the Ogre]

Yep, 'cept I haven't been on a real date (I had one sneak up on me a couple of years ago) since 1988.

[VisionOfLehi]

Clean slate is a clean slate. I was baptized at 19, I get to put my life before that behind me.

I would do the same for others.

But as tubaloth said, they might have developed other habits that aren't so hot. I wouldn't assume that "clean slate" means any better. I'd hold them by the same standards I hold everyone else. (Which doesn't require perfection, or knowledge)

This question reminds me of the movie Charly... :)

I don't feel this is a "aren't we all converts?" kind of discussion. It's talking about those baptized later in life.

[utcowboy]

Yes, I would date and marry a convert. As long as she could forgive my mistakes too. :)

[weaselv12]

i agree with everyone, i would probably do it.The only way i wouldn't is if she had murdered someone.

[Flyonthewall]

Being a convert or BIC has no bearing on how good or bad a person is or whether or not I would date them (married 22 years now so speaking of the past). What makes a difference, is what their life is like now.

If someone was born into the church but not keeping the WoW, I would not date them...not that they are bad or anything, I just can't stand the smell of cigarettes.

If someone was just barely converted, and did not follow the WoW before, but is now, I would have no problem dating that person.

Of course there are a lot more variables that go into whether or not you date someone, but since you specified the WoW, I thought I'd use that in my response.

[P-Worm]

I prefer converts. They are more down to earth.

P-Worm

[Islander]

I think level of activity in the church, temple attendance, strength of testimony and the like are quite important aspects to consider. Dating suppose to address those issues.

Age is also a factor. Younger women, in general, both converts or born in the church have a long way to go in terms of understanding and the skill it takes to preserve a marriage. As they mature and experience provide points of comparison growth tends to even things out. Family history is also a good indicator. Paying close attention to their mothers and sisters would give you a good indicator of where she stands. No rules here, just some points of reference.

[Canuck Mormon]

When I was dating, I was amazed at the number of women who would only look at you if you were an RM. If you didn't go on a mission, you were a second class citizen. It was sad really. I was lucky enough to find a woman who loved me for who I am, not who I was.

[NeuroTypical]

Just wanted to point out that just because you're mormon, doesn't mean you are perfect. We all sin, and we all need the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ in our lives.

You ain't free of sin just because you were born into a church. Back when I was dating, there were plenty of mormon gals I didn't want to touch with a 10 foot pole.

LM

[HiJolly]

Hello...my friend and I were discussing this, and we thought we would get some guys opinions! Would you seriously date a convert to the LDS? Because, as you all know, once you join the Church, you get a "clean slate", and (for the most part) what you did in your previous life as non-LDS, is forgetten. So, knowing that a woman did not previously following the WoW regarding all of its teachings, would you consider dating or even possibly marrying and be sealed to that person? We are awaiting your responses!

Absolutely, yes.

HiJolly

[Misshalfway]

Anyone who has problems with someone's past really doesn't understand the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Becoming new and born again, is for everyone. Not one of us doesn't have a past. Some of us, in our judgy state are dealing with yuckiness in the present!

[VisionOfLehi]

When I was dating, I was amazed at the number of women who would only look at you if you were an RM. If you didn't go on a mission, you were a second class citizen. It was sad really. I was lucky enough to find a woman who loved me for who I am, not who I was.

This is what I fear about moving to The Bubble. So many gals are "RM only" that it's going to be tough.

I'm sure there's plenty who don't care, and I'm absolutely fine with them, but if I get rejected a lot for not being an RM that's still going to be a downer.

[miztrniceguy]

When I was dating, I was amazed at the number of women who would only look at you if you were an RM. If you didn't go on a mission, you were a second class citizen. It was sad really. I was lucky enough to find a woman who loved me for who I am, not who I was.

Amen Brother! Before I met my wife i cannot tell you how many times i was asked" are you an RM?" Sometimes before anything else. Their loss, but did get frustating after awhile. I stopped going to church while in high school, about age 16 and didn't return until I was 34. Made for a lot of difficulty dating, especially with th "RM requirement". As if being an RM meant you would never fall away or sin! HA! That's such a lousy expectation.

I finally met someone who loves me in spite of(or because of) my past.:wub: We've been married almost 6 yrs now.

[Aphrodite]

Amen Brother! Before I met my wife i cannot tell you how many times i was asked" are you an RM?" Sometimes before anything else. Their loss, but did get frustating after awhile. I stopped going to church while in high school, about age 16 and didn't return until I was 34. Made for a lot of difficulty dating, especially with th "RM requirement". As if being an RM meant you would never fall away or sin! HA! That's such a lousy expectation.

I finally met someone who loves me in spite of(or because of) my past.:wub: We've been married almost 6 yrs now.

Thats so bad. It just shows how shallow and empty headed some girls can be. Surely you would date someone for who they are. P-Worm I tend to agree-most of the converts I know are more down to earth. I dont want to generalise, there are obviosuly exceptions but Ive noticed that too.

[RachelleDrew]

^That's really sad about girls who only go after RM's. Of course young men should go on a mission, but what does that have to do with anything?

My best friend was like this, only wanting to date RM's. She learned her lesson when she looked over a really sweet guy who was infatuated with her, but could not go on his mission due to an illness. She instead became engaged to the first RM who showed interest in her. He was a total jerk to her and was even ex'ed because he beat her and cheated on her with another girl in the ward.

Luckily she broke off the engagement, but by the time she realized the guy who loved her was somebody of great value he was already married. She and I discuss her regret about this a lot.

Girls need to realize that while having a man who served a mission is a great blessing to their potential family, it's not everything.

Back on topic, I am a convert and my husband was born and raised in the church. I have a very sordid past, and while sometimes it's difficult for him to look past it for fear of it reappearing, he never seemed to have an issue with dating me as a convert. I am afterall, a new creation in Christ. : )

To be honest, I think that's what he likes about me a little. He has mentioned that because i've been in the lowest of low and really hit rock bottom in life, I can better appreciate following the WoW and other obligations as I know what can happen when you don't.

[Hemidakota]

I will note that President Monson never went on a mission. There are couple more of the same within the 12...lol

[Canuck Mormon]

I will note that President Monson never went on a mission. There are couple more of the same within the 12...lol

While that is true, today girls are taught to aspire to marry only an RM, having had 3 sisters and a Mom tell me this. I've known 2 women who married RM's only to later get divorce because of abuse and neglect.