Ignoring messages / emails

[ampat777]

Howdy folks!

It often happens that you´re sending messages to members in here or other boards and then you´re getting no answer or they just stop talking after 2 or 3 messages.

Do you consider this as rude or is it normal in your opinion? I do understand that everyone has his life and sometimes is busy and not in the mood to answer or write. Or just don´t want to.

But.... I always answer back and never ignore people. I think it´s what you should do.

Just asking for opinions :)

Eric

[WillowTheWhisp]

It depends. If it's a discussion and all has been said on that subject which needs to be said then I wouldn't be offended by not getting another message. Crikey I couldn't keep up continual correspondence with everyone I've ever written to on a message board in PMs. There wouldn't be enough hours in the day.

Sometimes I may not message them individually for ages but then suddenly something else may crop up on the same subject and I'll contact them again later. I personally see nothing wrong with this and am surprised if others do.

[Palerider]

my opinion and you may not like it, but thats ok.....I don't see or understand why we get upset over something so small....there is so many other things in life to worry about...I am not going to lose sleep over someone not sending me or answering an e mail.:)

[Elphaba]

my opinion and you may not like it, but thats ok.....I don't see or understand why we get upset over something so small....there is so many other things in life to worry about...I am not going to lose sleep over someone not sending me or answering an e mail.:)

Wait just a minute there!

If I send you a message, you better darn well write back to me! I have so few friends left. hehehehe

Elphie

[Palerider]

Wait just a minute there!

If I send you a message, you better darn well write back to me! I have so few friends left. hehehehe

Elphie

of course I would answer you back.....LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Gwen]

i'm bad to not write ppl back unless they ask me a direct question so i take no offense at it. so if you are sending me a pm if you want an answer ask a queston.

[ampat777]

Well I am serious about this topic. Whenever I talk to someone in the internet (in a good way) I consider them as "friends" and so that´s why I think it´s rude just to send no more answer or ignore.

For some I or you may just be a number as we have seen each other in person. So they think they can easily throw that number away and exchange it against another one.

For me I care for people and nobody is a number. I guess I am just too nice and think everyone has to think in the same way as I do.

[NeuroTypical]

I am NOT online to make friends. I rarely socialize, I'm not interested in friends requests, I don't chat online. I occasionally reply to personal messages if someone is asking me a question, or I see a reason to. If I don't see a good reason, I don't answer.

I suppose the cost of this behavior, is that a handful of anonymous people I don't know and will never meet are all bent out of shape. I guess I'll just have to buck it up and pay that price.

LM

[Canuck Mormon]

Being a moderator, the messages I usually get from people are them complaining about how I deleted something, and for me NOT to contact them regarding it. So I don't. If someone asks me a question, I respond, but there comes a point where that conversation is finished and I stop sending messages.

[john doe]

I don't know if my mail box even works, there's never anything there. As far as I know, the system may not be working.

[Jenamarie]

If I feel like that person is messaging me personally then I'll usually respond. But sometimes I get e-mails from people who I can tell are sending the same message to a lot of people at the same time, or say they "want to be friends" but I've never engaged with them in the forums, and they don't ask any personal "getting to know you" questions about me at all (and usually don't include any information about themselves either), and I don't typically respond to those. If you (general "you") are wanting to get to know me, please act like it.

[StrawberryFields]

Friendship is a two way street if it isn't working then why force it?

I try to remember that we can not change the actions of another person only the way we process it.

[Iggy]

Wait just a minute there!

If I send you a message, you better darn well write back to me! I have so few friends left. hehehehe

Elphie

My feelings exactly!

[MorningStar]

There are loads of reasons not to reply to PM's. I know women who will not reply to a man for any reason. One sister wrote me back once and first asked if I was a woman, adding that she and her husband had had a misunderstanding when she had privately communicated with a man.

There's also lack of time, not wanting to carry on an argument that could be done in public instead, being untrusting of people online, etc. A friend and I e-mail each other about once a month and we both understand that we will eventually get back to each other, knowing we really care about the other. She sends me lengthy updates later that I really look forward to. :) My sister-in-law and I used to e-mail a lot until she finally got the full-time job she had been looking for, and now that she gets home after doing data entry all day, she just can't stand to type anymore, but I know I'm still just as important to her. It's hard enough to have time for close friends and family let alone every random person who contacts you on a message board, though many of them are probably really great people.

[ampat777]

There are loads of reasons not to reply to PM's. I know women who will not reply to a man for any reason.

It's hard enough to have time for close friends and family let alone every random person who contacts you on a message board, though many of them are probably really great people.

Well some online people may be nicer and not as creepy as random people you meet "for real". See what I mean? Not everyone has an "internet" face. I am the same in here as I am in real life. I say exactly the same things and I don´t play any games.

Of course women shouldn´t talk to just anyone and trust anyone. That´s for sure. But if they do and someone is nice they should be kind enough not just to leave and quit talking without saying why or saying farewell.

Maybe I have higher standards when it comes to the net etiquette or having manners. Or maybe we don´t talk about the same lol :)

[Iggy]

ampat777 are you talking about forum pm (private messages), personal emails or chat?

I have a block on my profile here at the forum that no one can pm me unless they are my buddy/friend. This is to prevent spam pm.

I don't do chat on any forum. Mainly because the majority of the chatters come across to me as teenagers and immature young adults. I am of an age where spelling, grammar and manners are very important to me. I type 90 words a minute on the old fashioned typewriter and now I can do approximately 70 words per minute on my ergo keyboard. I also use spell check and dictionary.com on a regular basis.

Personal emails are my preferred form of written communication between Friends and family. I flat refuse to support the US Postal Service unless I have NO other choice. I have set up all of my bill paying via my on-line checking account and I have my bank pay for the postage- it is a free service for me. I send packages via United Parcel Service. I have found it costs only a few dollars more and they guarantee delivery and if they don't deliver I can sue them. You can not sue the USPS. I know I have tried!

Thus if I receive email from someone I do not know at my personal email address, I bounce them. I do not just delete, I bounce. Bouncing tells them that the email address is not valid.

I have my own .com email address (got it through GoDaddy.com- it is cheap and I love it!) so I also get spam. I bounce them too. I really enjoy bouncing unwanted email. Pretty much makes my day!

I am not above bouncing email from people whom I have previously accepted email from. If they persist in sending me silly warnings, spam and never ending junk email- I warn them once and then bounce them.

So, ampat777- what kind of messages are you referring to: forum pm's, forum emails, personal emails, forum chats or other chats?

[ampat777]

So, ampat777- what kind of messages are you referring to: forum pm's, forum emails, personal emails, forum chats or other chats?

Grammar, spelling and manners are very important to me as well. I try to do my best as English isn´t my first language and I have 3 others I speak and write.

Well I am referring to forum pm´s and personal emails. I am not a fan of chatrooms. If I want to talk more or have discussions with interesting people we send long emails or use a messenger like skype or msn.

[Iggy]

Grammar, spelling and manners are very important to me as well. I try to do my best as English isn´t my first language and I have 3 others I speak and write.

Well I am referring to forum pm´s and personal emails. I am not a fan of chat rooms. If I want to talk more or have discussions with interesting people we send long emails or use a messenger like skype or msn.

I can only speak and write English- languages do not come easily to me. Perhaps my hearing disability is the reason for that.

Thank you for answering my question(s). I find that the forum posting helps me to get to know people better, and it is also a better medium for expressing thoughts and feelings in detail.

On one board that I used to frequent, they had you introduce yourself, then you would use your thread for comments back and forth of a personal matter.

Such as, if you had not been on the board for a while, I would go to your introductory thread, and post on it: Where are you? Are you okay? Has anyone seen or heard from Soandso??

We used the intro thread rather than PMing you, for general run of the mill stuff. (is that as clear as mud??)

ampat777- did you used to be on LDS Worldwide Friends?

[ampat777]

We used the intro thread rather than PMing you, for general run of the mill stuff. (is that as clear as mud??)

ampat777- did you used to be on LDS Worldwide Friends?

I am more into talking in a personal way like in emails or pm. I also don´t love to show too many pics in a board if I don´t know who all can see them and if I can trust them. I guess it´s just the way I am

I have not been on lds worldwide friends. At least I don´t remember even I am not that old haha but I have been on a few other lds boards. Members seem nicer in here though.

[Iggy]

I am more into talking in a personal way like in emails or pm. I also don´t love to show too many pics in a board if I don´t know who all can see them and if I can trust them. I guess it´s just the way I am

I have not been on lds worldwide friends. At least I don´t remember even I am not that old haha but I have been on a few other lds boards. Members seem nicer in here though.

Yes they are nicer here. There was a guy on Friends who was from Austria- he was really a neat guy- young, the last we heard from him, he and his wife had just had a baby. Tough, True, am I correct on this?

[MorningStar]

Well some online people may be nicer and not as creepy as random people you meet "for real". See what I mean? Not everyone has an "internet" face. I am the same in here as I am in real life. I say exactly the same things and I don´t play any games.

Of course women shouldn´t talk to just anyone and trust anyone. That´s for sure. But if they do and someone is nice they should be kind enough not just to leave and quit talking without saying why or saying farewell.

Maybe I have higher standards when it comes to the net etiquette or having manners. Or maybe we don´t talk about the same lol :)

True, but some people online are good at pretending they're really nice and it's hard to tell the difference, so some people are guarded, especially if they've had a negative experience where they trusted someone who turned out not to be trustworthy. Try not to take it personally when people don't write back. :)

[ampat777]

True, but some people online are good at pretending they're really nice and it's hard to tell the difference, so some people are guarded, especially if they've had a negative experience where they trusted someone who turned out not to be trustworthy.

I agree. But on the other hand how many times did I hear about liars in real life who just pretended to be nice.... then even were in relationships and showed their real face. You have to be careful and talk for some months with everyone to find out what they are like :)

[MorningStar]

Yes, but it's a lot easier to get to know people in person, which you can do in group settings. Having the time to send private messages to people online is more difficult. Also, it's much easier for people online to lie about many things - their gender, age, etc. I once knew a girl who started dressing like a boy and cut off her hair to try to romance my sister-in-law's sister, but that didn't go over so well because everyone knew she was a girl. When she told me about it later, that made sense because she made a very sudden change in her appearance. She started calling herself Jason and sending her love notes.

[Truegrits]

Yes they are nicer here. There was a guy on Friends who was from Austria- he was really a neat guy- young, the last we heard from him, he and his wife had just had a baby. Tough, True, am I correct on this?

That sounds right, Iggy.

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ampat777; I will always reply to am IM/message that I recieve. I do not ignore anyone that takes the time to communicate with me. But when you do not really know someone, I think an IM relationship is bound to be a short lived one.

[Moksha]

I had a dream one time of meeting Pahoran from MAD in person. He started to talk with a New Zealand accent, then he got quiet, turned red, started to make a whistling noise - like steam excaping from a kettle and then he exploded.

I would hate for that to happen in real life.