kona0197 Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 First of all I want to say this is the truth and coming from the heart. I am very worried about my soul. I am very worried about my standing with the Almighty. I fear that I have made too many mistakes. You guys are right. I am not happy. I am very miserable and angry most of the time. It's a wonder I have keep my job this long. I know what must be done. Doing it will be hard. I have wrote to Social Security. We will see what's going on. I will also visit the Bishop. Until I can sort this all out please accept an apology for my stupid blunders and postings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VisionOfLehi Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 I would suggest that, until you can come back and say you've done something decisive on the matter, you just drop the subject for now and post about other things. P.S. That's my attempt at being friendly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kona0197 Posted August 25, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 Thank you for the advice. I did write the SS office for an answer to a few questions. Friendly? Are you mad at me? Sorry... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VisionOfLehi Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 No. I'm just, in my experience, often times not good at seeming friendly when I mean to. I wasn't bein' gruff. I just think people will want to see results, first. You might want to try calling SS and talking in person or setting up a local appointment, though. You're more likely to get a quick response. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazed-and-confused Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 kona....as for me?....no apolgy needed....i worry about my soul too.....and have made grievous mistakes....to the point of being affraid for my soul....and you're right.....nowing and doing are sometimes different things....when you're head is spinning, how to put what you know into action.....from what i see...you have already started to lift yourself up....i would say..try not to despair....but when you're in the depths of it, thats just so much crap......i will say....just keep going...keep searching for truth...it takes time for many of us....me too.....and i do despair at times....for my soul....but i also believe in HF good judgement, and compassion....and continue to keep on going....and i believe you will too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenRaines Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 Kona, if you have a Book of Mormon read about Alma the Younger and the Sons of Mosiah. Also the short book of Enos. Good luck. Ben Raines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WANDERER Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 (edited) I'm just wondering if the information that you really need is in terms of tax concessions...I'm from a different country and not sure of your general situation but...I'm thinking that any offset in income might just be offset by less tax from your takehome pay as you would be taxed on your combined income as a couple...and there may be certain disability/dependent claims you could also make on your tax refund. I wonder if there is also a rental assistance/dependent/carers support/subsidies or other benefits you could both claim as a married couple from social security.... not sure...just a thought. Probably not much help...and you may have looked into it already. Edited August 25, 2008 by WANDERER Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still_Small_Voice Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 I have prayed for you. I hope all turns out well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 (edited) You know Kona.....I don't think you have anything to apologize for and I totally disagree with Vol on this one. Post whatever you need to as you move thru your process. That is what we are here for right??? Helping each other battle that natural man inside??? Move thru our anger and pain and mistakes??? Why not us??? Right??? considering that God does some of his best work thru his servants. We are one.....a family....and when one of us is down, shouldn't we run to lift and support and strengthen.......and maybe just shut up and listen some days????? I love your honesty, Kona. You are authentic and real in a way that few are able to be. Don't take that away! We all screw up! We all have things in our lives that we need help with. Big, yucky things!!! And that is why there is a Savior!!! We offer our lives to him and he does the changing! Read Mosiah ch's like 4-5. He takes our sins from us as we offer them to know him!!! OK??? You are fighting a battle....a battle inside of your soul....for your soul!! Why apologize for doing what we all have to do? I am in my own battle. And it is dark and twisty and dang hard!!! I don't want to do it alone anymore! I need people around me.....people who are more than just ones who profess Christianity. I need the real thing! People who know.....and people who care!!!! I believe they are called friends. And I say if you wanna come here and post and share your reality and your battle, please do it!!! You help so many when you do! What is our baptismal covenant if not to bare one another's burdens that they be light...no matter what those burdens may be. Edited August 25, 2008 by Misshalfway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 Kudos to you Kona! You are doing the right thing even though it's hard. We always have choice, and we need to make the right one despite the difficulty level. I'll be praying for you. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilered Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 Kona: You have taken a mighty leap in realizing your situation and that in order to progress, something must be done. Many of us on this forum have at one time or another been in similiar circumstances where we needed to stop what we were doing, repent, seek forgiveness and yes at times pay the price for our sins (justice). The good news is that God loves you and so do we. We stand with you as your support in taking whatever steps must be taken to return to the path of righteoness. As you indicate, you know what needs to be done, so do it my friend and you will never be sorry you did. Guilt is a heavy burden to bear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemidakota Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 First of all I want to say this is the truth and coming from the heart.I am very worried about my soul. I am very worried about my standing with the Almighty. I fear that I have made too many mistakes.You guys are right. I am not happy. I am very miserable and angry most of the time. It's a wonder I have keep my job this long.I know what must be done. Doing it will be hard.I have wrote to Social Security. We will see what's going on. I will also visit the Bishop.Until I can sort this all out please accept an apology for my stupid blunders and postings.We fear and tremble over salvation as the Savior did....welcome to the club. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 I don't know what to say, Kona. A lot of people have given you good advice for quite some time, but their comments get shot down, they pray for you, they sincerely care, and at times you have said very hurtful things. It seems like the apologies come when you're called on it, so I don't really know what your true feelings are, especially since there are so many inconsistencies in the things you post. If you want to join the church, you can make it happen. It takes sacrifice and you can figure out how to do it if you want it bad enough. If you don't want to join and you're just yanking our chain, I don't appreciate it. There are many caring people here who want to help others, answer questions, offer friendship, etc. They don't deserve to have their time wasted giving advice to people who don't really want the advice. I hope what you posted is sincere, but I've seen you go through this at least a few times now. Heavenly Father doesn't ask us to do anything without giving us a way for it to be accomplished. That doesn't mean it's easy though. If you do the things necessary to become a member of the church, you will be blessed, it will build character, and that will benefit you as a husband and father someday. Wives and children need men who will fight to give them everything they need. I hope this didn't come off sounding mean. I'm just frustrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 (edited) Sometimes people's feelings and choices can be frustrating to us. People don't always move at the pace or in the direction we would like and the moment that we would like it. I don't think anyone has wasted their time. Is it a waste to bare your testimony even if it appears to be rejected? I don't think so. We never know the good we do. Is it a waste to share the truth with someone if they reject it in anger. I love this saying and say it often..."The truth will set you free -- but first it will piss you off!" I can't really know the intensions of another soul and can't really know Kona. But he appears to be in a tumultuous process within himself. And he does keep coming back and does keep apologizing. I don't know. Sometimes change doesn't happen on a dime. God does provide a way.....but for some of us on some issues, he give lots of opportunities and is infinitely patient as we sometimes take years to accomplish his will. Having said that.....there is something to be said for watching ones tongue and spitting in the face of someone who is trying to help you. I can see how that is frustrating and hurtful. Edited August 25, 2008 by Misshalfway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 (edited) Kona,We all have to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling (as Hemi mentioned). You are not alone in this. We understand. Each of us has his/her own demons and trials to handle.But to accomplish anything, the first thing we have to do is be honest with ourselves and God. Satan wants us to live a lie. He thrives when we deceive our own selves. Even the Book of Mormon warns us that Satan will lull us to sleep.8 And there shall also be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry; nevertheless, fear God—he will justify in committing a little sin; yea, lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this; and do all these things, for tomorrow we die; and if it so be that we are guilty, God will beat us with a few stripes, and at last we shall be saved in the kingdom of God. 9 Yea, and there shall be many which shall teach after this manner, false and vain and foolish doctrines, and shall be puffed up in their hearts, and shall seek deep to hide their counsels from the Lord; and their works shall be in the dark....20 For behold, at that day shall he (Satan) rage in the hearts of the children of men, and stir them up to anger against that which is good. 21 And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell. 22 And behold, others he flattereth away, and telleth them there is no hell; and he saith unto them: I am no devil, for there is none—and thus he whispereth in their ears, until he grasps them with his awful chains, from whence there is no deliverance....28 And in fine, wo unto all those who tremble, and are angry because of the truth of God! For behold, he that is built upon the rock receiveth it with gladness; and he that is built upon a sandy foundation trembleth lest he shall fall. 29 Wo be unto him that shall say: We have received the word of God, and we need no more of the word of God, for we have enough! 30 For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, We have enough, from them shall be taken away even that which they have. (2 Ne 28)Each of us experience this. We often deceive ourselves because we wish to fit into the world better. We have voices all around us trying to convince us that their way is the road to happiness. And people listen. You may think that heroin and cocaine use is stupid (and it is), but millions still use it because they've been deceived into thinking that a little try wouldn't harm them. I work as a counselor in prison, and over 70% of our residents have addiction issues that led to their crimes. For some, it was just one night out drinking with the boys that ended up in someone getting mad and someone else being killed, and then the drunk person ends up spending 20 years in prison for something he never would have done sober. Yet, there he is.One of the main things God wants us to do is to "Come Unto Christ and be perfected in him" (Moroni 10:32). We cannot be perfected in any other way. And it is a process, not an instant thing. Line upon line, precept upon precept, God purifies and perfects us. Even as with the mortal Jesus, we move from grace to grace, receiving grace for grace (D&C 93).The first step in repentance and changing and coming unto Christ is to recognize the true state we are now in, and realize just how much we desperately need the atonement in our own lives.32 Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God. (Moroni 10:32) Edited August 25, 2008 by rameumptom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 One other point to add: when we try to live with one foot in Zion and the other in Babylon, we suffer and are miserable because we are not fully committed to God. Kona, no wonder you feel miserable much of the time. You are spiritually leading a schizophrenic life, trying to have your spirit both follow and reject God at the same time. It is only when we fully embrace God with our heart, might, mind and strength, and fully repent of our sins and believe on Christ's atonement, that we shall find perfect peace and joy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skalenfehl Posted August 31, 2008 Report Share Posted August 31, 2008 Hey, kona. Sorry I'm a little late posting, but I have a month of posts to catch up on as I've been working out of state a lot with a new job that takes me all over. Your first post is the first best step in the right direction. It allows you to begin a change of heart (Alma chapter 5). As you begin to step closer into the light you'll feel more at peace and the Atonement working in your life. It's never too late to put your feet on the right path and sometimes we only have strength to take baby steps. Best wishes in your journey. You're never alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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