georgia2 Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 Okay, so I'm LDS and try very hard to live up to my temple recommend. I had something happen and I didn't know what was right or what was wrong.My local hospital is very large, with surrounding medical facilities and specialist's offices. I had to go in to one of these specialist to get a copy of an old test that was done. When I got there I saw that they again were working on the area, this time the parking lot. They had 2 entrances/exits closed and half of the parking lot closed off. It is very difficult to find a parking spot on a good day much less this!After circling the area I saw that people were parking everywhere making it very hard to maneuver through. I finally saw someone leaving and I pulled right in. When I came out I found that cars had parked behind my row where it was illegal to park. I got in and slowly began to back up all the time inching out and watching to make sure I didn't hit anything. Then BUMP, I had hit a car that was totally in a blind spot. In fact you couldn't even see it because it was so low. I pulled back in, got out and looked. My car had a little scratch but the other car had a small dent and small area where paint came off. I wrote a note and put it on the car. Got back in, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get out. I sat there a long time not knowing what to do. I finally got out and asked the valet if this care was indeed illegally parked, he said yes, but they were not giving tickets because the lot was closed. I told him what happened, that I left a note, he laughed and said go on. I got back in and sat wondering when I would ever get out. Then I got out again took the note off, this went back and forth 4 or 5 times. I knew if I reported it my insurance would go up. I knew the other car would want and expect payment of the dent. I finally decided to write the license plate #, go home and call my insurance agent and ask what to do. The only way I was able to get out was I had to drive up over the median.When I got home I told my husband about it and he said to forget it because of the situation and they were illegally parked anyway. Now it bothers me because of the temple interview about being honest. I really don't want to go ask the Bishop this thing. What would you have done? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZionWoman Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 I would have left the note and then worried about it forever. It was busy, they parked illegally, and people bang doors all the time. They knew they were taking a risk when they parked. If it wasn't you, it might have been someone else. :shrug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jbs2763 Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 the other option would have been to smash a window, pour gasonline, set ablaze and tell them it wouldnt have happend if they parked in the rigth place Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alana Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 If you have their license plate number, is there anyway you can get a hold of them? I don't think that if you go to the DMV that they will give you an address. I'm thinking I would leave a note. If someone did that to my car and I saw a note I'd think it was great they left it and then not worry about it at all. Plus with insurance detectable, you'd probably just end up paying for it and not having the insurance deal with it at all. Call up your insurance agent and ask them what you can do. They aren't going to penalize just for telling them what happened and helping you figure it out. As a random little story. Once I was sitting in my car, reading, while my husband got something inside the grocery store. While I was sitting there a car pulled in on my left, when the passenger got out 'BAM!' they hit my car with their door. They went inside the store and didn't even see if they did any damage. Then a car pulled in on my right (by where I was sitting.) The guy opens his door and 'BAM' hits my door. THen goes into the store. He comes out 5 minutes later and as he's getting into his car he hits my care AGAIN with his door. This time I see him glance over and he sees that I'm sitting there. He then slowly leaves. The end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prisonchaplain Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 The damage was noticeable, so a note should be left. The advantage of just leaving a note is that the cost may end up not being much, and you can pay for it out of pocket, thus not effecting your insurance. However, pay with a check, and have the person sign a note saying that this he has been "paid in full" for damage to his vehicle. One time a friend of our neighbor parked his car such that it intruded about three feet on to our driveway. It was a damp foggy morning, and I drove out without looking--smashed the corner of his vehicle. In this case I'm thinking, "This guy blocked part of my driveway. It's his fault." But, I told him I'd check with my insurance, and we traded information. My insurance informed me that I was toast! The vehicle was parked, and I hit it. Plus, the guy got 3 estimates, all of them over $800 bucks. So, we let the insurance handle it, and took the hike in premium. If doing the Christian thing was always easy or an immediate win, the whole world would be saved by now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WANDERER Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 Illegally parked cars are to be towed away I believe...hitting a parked car is not legal as PC said. A friend who lived near a railway station told me that when cars parked in their driveway and they couldn't get out they had them towed away, so I imagine that it's legal to do so, at the person who broke-the-law's cost and that they didn't have any other option in order to get to work themselves in both cases. The thing is when you hit a car, you go into shock...if it's a situation you've been in before you do the automatic things...if not..then it's not so easy to process what to do. Sometimes it's a case of knowing what to do next time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarginOfError Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 Don't just leave a note. If you have a camera, perhaps on your cell phone, take a picture of the damage. And anything you leave in writing with them, make sure you keep a word-for-word transcription of what you left them. It's no fun to do the honest thing and then find out you're paying for a dent, an oil pan, and new fan belts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 I've been in a few similar situations before. Let me tell you something - even if you were not fully in the wrong, leaving a note and offering to pay will leave you in a better state than not leaving a note. Temple Recommend questions, and honest life-living aside - really - you'll be much happier with yourself if you can look in the mirror and see someone who went farther than she had to in order to set things right. Just something to think about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgia2 Posted November 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 okay! Thanks everyone! I guess I'm just a bum!!! I no longer have the license # because it happened several months ago and I went with my husbands advice. SO, do I now have To go tell my Bishop? PLEASE SAY NO!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elgama Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 I would just move on and forgive yourself if it happened that long ago chances are the person that you hit has forgotten it. -Charley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john doe Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 okay! Thanks everyone! I guess I'm just a bum!!! I no longer have the license # because it happened several months ago and I went with my husbands advice. SO, do I now have To go tell my Bishop? PLEASE SAY NO!!!!!If it's still bothering you after all these months, perhaps you should talk to him, if for no other reason than to help you clear your conscience. It would be almost impossible to track down that person now, though, so I doubt there is anything you can do about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elgama Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 I wanted to come back and I agree with what johndoe says either that or could your husband give you a blessing? -Charley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DirtyPool Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 If your old enough to drive, be married, maybe kids then why can't you answer this question on your own? I bet that you have had enough life experiences to get through this without posting to the internet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 (edited) I would leave the note on the car with my Name and phone number. And I would call the insurance company to explain the circumstances. I would also get the name of the parking attendant and a contact number. The scriptures that come to mind are Matthew 5:25 and 3 Nephi 12:25. applepansy Edited November 22, 2008 by applepansy added scriptures Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheLutheran Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 . . . I had something happen and I didn't know what was right or what was wrong.. . . I knew if I reported it my insurance would go up. I knew the other car would want and expect payment of the dent. . . .The Lord says "Thou shalt not steal" and you, in effect, stole a portion of the value of this car. You should have, at least, left the note with your contact information. Had you stayed, you might have resolved the issue with the car owner on the spot. Perhaps they would have conceded that they were parked illegally and agreed to split the cost of repair. Or, you would have rectified the situation with the person damaged with no prolonged remorse and no need to involve the Bishop. Its very difficult to respond appropriately in circumstances like this. Going back to the basics (and cutting out all the rationalizations and emotions) works best for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DirtyPool Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 If it's still bothering you after all these months, perhaps you should talk to him, if for no other reason than to help you clear your conscience. It would be almost impossible to track down that person now, though, so I doubt there is anything you can do about it.I had an old friend come to me years later and tell me that he was sorry for stealing some music equipment from me in high school. It was worth a few hundred dollars and I barely remember missing it. I thought the guy was kind of an idiot to come back and apologize after so much time had passed. It was not a ton of money nor was any major crime (assualt, felony) committed. I think we include the reparations portion of forgivness into too many small incidents in life. Sometimes it is just better for all involved to just move on>I hope I am not encouraging you to dissobey a commandment, but maybe you should just move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SisterofJared Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 DirtyPool, Hey, I'm proud of your friend that came back and apologized years later. That shows a truly repentent heart.... it would have been easy to just move out. But the guys character grew from the apology, and he definately proved that he loved God more than himself. Way cool! I think the OP needs to do her best to repent.... repentence is about making it right when possible, and changing direction... since she doesn't have the name of the owner of the car, changing direction is what is called for in this situation. Study the situation and pray about it until your heart is convinced that it was wrong to not settle with the owner of the car... once you are convinced it was wrong, then pray and ask for forgivenss, and promise that you will not do the same thing again. Then forgive yourself as God forgives you. Move on! And don't feel like such a bum about it! Almost all of us will remember times when we were less than honest... we remember the repentence process and the change. Few people are just born brimming with honest.... we require as we grow. It's a process. Be happy that you are arriving at that point! Sister of Jared. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truegrits Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 Two times my car was "dinged" while parked in a six floor parking garage. Both times the person responsible did the right thing, and left a note with their name and telephone number. One was of such minor consequence, I told the person to forget it, but that I very much appreciated their honesty. The second one was of more consequence, but not that much money, and they paid "out of pocket." My thinking is, even if the other person is illegally parked, and you hit them, you are responsible. Two wrongs have never made a thing "right". And the fact that you are still agonizing over the situation, shows that you are not easy with the choice you made. Even though at this point there is very little chance of you "making it right" for that person, you have learned from the experience. Honesty and peace of mind is of more worth than some monetary savings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgia2 Posted November 25, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 Thanks guys. I'm not agonizing over it I just thought I would post it to see what others opinions were. I truly didn't know if I was responsible because the other car was parked illegally and I couldn't even move! That is why I went back and forth, then decided to get the info, ask my insurance guy, Then hubby said "forget it". Obviously he didn't know it is wrong to hit an illegally parked car either. See, now I know and if this sort of thing EVER comes up again, I'll know what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 I would have left a note on car and if I have a cell phone and able to take pictures with it....I would have taken a few pics of both cars.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylercollins Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 Even though they parked illegally, two wrongs don't make a right. You should have left the note and got an accident report taken care of (your insurance would need that). At this point, talk to your Bishop and he'll let you know what you need to do to repent for it, and move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 Moral of the story is: Always go with your first instincts, never second guess yourself. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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