You might be a Mormon if...

[Guest TheLutheran]

. . . You might be a Mormon if there's more pictures of Jesus than your Kids. . . .

You might be a Mormon if there are more pictures of a temple than Jesus or your kids!

[skalenfehl]

You might be a Mormon if you have more bottles of olive oil with the label "consecrated" than "extra virgin".

[Maxel]

You might be a Mormon if there are more pictures of a temple than Jesus or your kids!

Crap, I might not be Mormon... to date there's 2 portrayals of Christ in my room, and none of the temple.

You might be Mormon if you consider spending 2 hours of the Sabbath at church a short day.

[pam]

I know someone who has five -- the oldest of which is five. I also know someone else who has five under the age of four (two sets of twins).

I had 3 under the age of 2.

[lilered]

You might be a mormon if think sloppy joes is a once a week treat.

[lilered]

You might be a mormon if you spend as much time doing church work as you do working.

[lilered]

you've ever used your temple recommend as a check protection card.

...you hide your recommend in the back of your wallet when you shop on Sunday.

..you shop on Sunday and then you post date the check.

..you've ever mixed Jell-O with any kind of meat.

..you like Jell-O mixed with any kind of meat.

...you think red punch and green Jell-O are the main ingredients for a successful party.

..your kids think Jell-O is a major food group.

..you have your order in for volume 25 of "The Work and The Glory."

..you use the dust jacket from "The Work and The Glory" so you can read romance novels in public.

..you've ever quoted "The Work and The Glory" in a talk or a lesson.

...you feel that "The Work and The Glory" would be better if it took place in Connecticut and the hero's name was Steve.

...you can come up with at least 10 good excuses as to why Steve Young isn't married.

..you believe any of those excuses.

..you're planning to read this list during Family Home Evening.

...while giving a presentation in a public place such as a board meeting, you have ever inadvertently ended with, "in the name of ..."

..you've ever ended your presentation with those words deliberately.

...all your children are named after Old Testament Prophets. Even your daughter Zerubbabel.

..you ran out of Old Testament names before you ran out of children.

...you were shocked to find out that the 24th of July was not a national holiday.

..you refer to the days of '47 parade royalty as "The queen and her two counselors."

..at least one member of your family has a pseudo-French name such as LaVell, LaDell, or Bidet.

..you have any relatives named LaDell, LaVelle, LaDawn, or LaVerle (how about LaDurl?)

..your mother-in-law was pregnant at your wedding.

..you're father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal.

...a member of your family wrote in Lavelle Edwards for President in the last election.

..you have ever inadvertently addressed your boss or co-workers as Brother or Sister.

..all your dishes have your name written on masking tape.

..at least two of your salad bowls are at neighbors' houses.

...you have something stuck to your refrigerator for every time you have attended Relief Society or Homemaking.

...you consider "dam" a swear word.

..your family considers a trip to McDonald's a night out.

..you believe you have to be 18 to order coffee in a cafe.

..you think Jack Daniels is a country western singer.

..you met your spouse at the "Y" or on your "Mission."

..your children believe that deer hunting is a national holiday.

..you negotiate prices at a garage sale.

..when you pick someone up at the airport, you bring at least 1/3 of your relatives and have a family reunion at the gate.

...you have a "Quiet Book" as part of your library.

...you are embarrassed if any of your children are more than two years apart in age.

...you keep a supply of butcher paper on hand to make large "Welcome Home" banners.

..you have more food in storage than clothes in your closet.

...you ever made a major purchase at D.I (couches,appliances, electronics, furniture, prom dresses, etc.)

...you shop for wedding gifts at D.I.

..your family takes Mormon Tequila to family reunions. (Ingredients of Mormon Tequila: kool-aid with a gummi worm in the bottom.)

[tubaloth]

You ARE a mormon if...

...you close your hymn book before the song is over.

...you pray for moisture (instead of Rain)

[FunkyTown]

You might be Mormon if...

I have ever proposed to you. Or not. You might just log in here.

Or be Ceeboo.

[Jenamarie]

You might be a Mormon if...

* you and your husband were engaged within weeks of meeting, and married within months of meeting.

* your husband proposed using the words "I had a dream that you were meant to be my wife" or "The Lord revealed to me that you were meant to be my wife"

* there are more children than adults at your church on Sunday.

* you either live in Utah, or hope to visit Utah sometime in your life.

[Palerider]

You might be a Mormon if...

* you and your husband were engaged within weeks of meeting, and married within months of meeting.

* your husband proposed using the words "I had a dream that you were meant to be my wife" or "The Lord revealed to me that you were meant to be my wife"

* there are more children than adults at your church on Sunday.

* you either live in Utah, or hope to visit Utah sometime in your life.

guilty of the first one......except.....my wife and I.....:)

[Jenamarie]

So am I, although it was *days* and not weeks.

[Guest Godless]

Here's an interesting twist. You know you're an East Coast Mormon if.....

You were the only Mormon in your graduating class in high school.

A trip to the temple involves a bus, bagged lunches, and hotel reservations.

It takes you more than 15 minutes to drive to church and more than an hour to drive to the Stake Center.

Your ward takes up more than one zip code.

Your stake takes up more than one county.

You don't eat green jello religiously, nor do you know any mormons who do.

You visit Salt Lake and think "Wow, that temple is small." (If you've been to the DC Temple, you know what I'm talking about).

You would never, EVER, consider the idea of getting married before you finish college.

The missionaries in your ward don't ride bicycles.

People are actually being genuinely curious, not antagonistic, when they ask you weird questions about the Church.

Utah Mormons view you as a flaming liberal and you view Utah Mormons as total whack-jobs.

Edited February 11, 2009 by Godless

[Jenamarie]

Here's an interesting twist. You know you're an East Coast Mormon if.....

You were the only Mormon in your graduating class in high school.

A trip to the temple involves a bus, bagged lunches, and hotel reservations.

It takes you more than 15 minutes to drive to church and more than an hour to drive to the Stake Center.

Your ward takes up more than one zip code.

Your stake takes up more than one county.

You don't eat green jello religiously, nor do you know any mormons who do.

You visit Salt Lake and think "Wow, that temple is small." (If you've been to the DC Temple, you know what I'm talking about).

You would never, EVER, consider the idea of getting married before you finish college.

The missionaries in your ward don't ride bicycles.

People are actually being genuinely curious, not antagonistic, when they ask you weird questions about the Church.

Utah Mormons view you as a flaming liberal and you view Utah Mormons as total whack-jobs.

This is totally my husband. He grew up in Northern Ontario, and a trip to the Temple required a charter bus and reservations at the Marriott. And the DC Temple is still his favorite one.

To add to that...

... If your "seminary building" was your Bishop's livingroom.

... If you packed a lunch to take to Stake Conference.

... If your wedding and reception were a week apart.

[Guest Ceeboos_Boss]

You might be catholic if you hang out on a mormon site.

you might be catholic if your husband has more mormon friends then catholic.

[Gwen]

now the lists are getting more fun, thanks godless. lol

it's a long distance call to call our branch pres.....

you've ever been the branch operator.... i've had calls from families that didn't have long distance, ... can you call pres.. and ask him to call me, it's urgent....

stake rs meetings become girls day out, and you really are gone all day.

actually attended early morning seminary.

this is more for the southeast but .... know folks that have church boots, and temple boots (yes a specially made pair of white boots for working in the temple)

you've held 2 major callings at the same time.

ever been a pres with no counselors.

it takes less than 10 min to do the sacrament.

you have to borrow speakers from other units in the stake once a month to maintain some variety in the sacrament meeting.

if you do all your vt/ht in one day you could easily drive 100 miles.

you have unofficial callings to go with your other 2 official ones.

your building doesn't have a foyer

you sit in chairs for sacrament meeting not pews

you have pot lucks in the chapel (no green jello)

everyone notices when you are not at church

if you have ever had to talk all 3 hours at church, taught ph/rs, taught ss, and gave a talk in sacrament meeting.

you say an opening or closing prayer every sunday.

when you get a major calling you can expect to be there 5 yrs.

[Jbs2763]

your home BRANCH covers 400 sq miles

or your singles BRANCH covers 9 counties, approx 3600 sq. miles?

Edited February 11, 2009 by Jbs2763
added to

[Wingnut]

Here's an interesting twist. You know you're an East Coast Mormon if.....

You were the only Mormon in your graduating class in high school.

A trip to the temple involves a bus, bagged lunches, and hotel reservations.

It takes you more than 15 minutes to drive to church and more than an hour to drive to the Stake Center.

Your ward takes up more than one zip code.

Your stake takes up more than one county.

You don't eat green jello religiously, nor do you know any mormons who do.

You visit Salt Lake and think "Wow, that temple is small." (If you've been to the DC Temple, you know what I'm talking about).

You would never, EVER, consider the idea of getting married before you finish college.

The missionaries in your ward don't ride bicycles.

People are actually being genuinely curious, not antagonistic, when they ask you weird questions about the Church.

Utah Mormons view you as a flaming liberal and you view Utah Mormons as total whack-jobs.

This is so spot on. Not one exaggeration in here! (Except in my husband's case growing up...his stake didn't just cover more than one county, his ward covered more than one country!)

Edited February 11, 2009 by Wingnut

[talisyn]

I had 3 under the age of 2.

We need a *comfort* button

[pam]

What about:

You know you've been a member a long time if:

You can remember services on Sunday not being on a block schedule.

You remember Green and Gold Balls.

You had a "bandelo" in Primary and worked on getting the things to go on it.

At Stake Conference they served you box lunches between sessions of conference.

Growing up in San Diego, the mission was once the Southern California mission. Now I think there are several missions just in San Diego.

Roadshows were actually on the road. You traveled to different buildings in a 1 or 2 day period to compete.

You look at a chapel and say "Hey I helped build that chapel."

[Wingnut]

ever been a pres with no counselors.

My father-in-law was bishop with no counselors for several months.

[Maxel]

My father-in-law was bishop with no counselors for several months.

There's a recipe for insanity if I ever saw one.

[LittleWyvern]

You might be a Mormon if you need weekly naps, the same time each week, to function.

(I really don't think this has been posted already, but if it has, feel free to fill a thread with "You might be Little Wyvern if you make duplicate posts" or something)

[ruthiechan]

Ha, don't sweat it, I noticed other repeats LW.

[tanuvasamama]

I have never understood this "label"...I know only a few who are late, and we attribute it to being "the Smiths are always late", not to the Faith! How did we get this rap?

Apparently you've never lived in Hawaii. If you add hawaii time to mormon time...you'll be late for everything. Honestly, our sacrament is supposed to start at 10:00...I don't think we've ever started before 10:10!