New to Primary

[havejoy]

I've just been called as Primary President and I've never been in primary before in any capacity. Today was my first experience and I was surprised at how much talking, walking around, and just general irreverent behavior was going on. We only have about 35 kids and at any given time about 15 to 20 were talking.

I'm open to ideas for getting this under control without alienating them.

Should I make blue and pink silk capes with a giant "R" on each one for the quietest child to be Reverence Man or Reverence Woman?

Should I bring treats for the ones who behave the best?

Should I give one invitation out each week to the most reverent child and then do something special with them later?

Should I just duct tape the mouths of the ones who are the loudest? I live in Texas so I'm sure it would be legal.

Any ideas on what would work?

[NeuroTypical]

I like the duct tape idea. It won't work very well, but it might be satisfying for a little while.

I honestly don't have any good ideas - your other ones sound like great starts. From where I'm standing, little kids just weren't designed by God to sit still and be quiet for an hour, so anyone asking them to do so, is in for a rough time.

LM

[havejoy]

If I go with the duct tape I'll probably need to tie their little hands together behind their backs so they won't take the tape off......mmmmm yeah, that would go over really well.

Maybe it would be better to have them stand during part of singing time and ask that sharing time include some kind of action.

[Truegrits]

I'm not sure why there is "much talking, walking around, and just general irreverent behavior was going on"... isn't there a teacher siting with each class? The individual teacher should be keeping an eye/ear out, and should be responsible for keeping their group reverent.

Maybe you could have a meeting with your teachers, and see if they can help with the problem.

Yes, I do give "treats" in my class for reverence, participation, preparedness, kindness (etc.)...and it just so happens that every child, by the end of the class, is deserving of a treat...

[Elgama]

also don't forget its primary and 3 hours at church without some behaviour that would be irreverent in another auxillary is not going to happen. My experience was if they had some 'exercise' /specified noisy time then they were ready to be reverant.

I used to start sharing time with some stretches, then we would sit and do some relaxation breathing, I would then talk about the peaceful feeling and how that was the Holy Ghost and we would sing a reverence song. I also ended sharing time with something exciting then a cool down before they went to their other classes.

Don't expect a group of children to sit quietly for the whole time like you would Youth or Relief Society. And you have to work to be interesting lol my experience is you earn reverence. Also just remember President Monson was once one of those kids that disrupted his class:) - he has talked about it many times.

When I was first called as nursery leader and then into primary - my Bishop at the time had two young children his instruction to me was that it was my job to make it easier for him to get his kids ready for church, and that Nursery and Primary were there to make it worthwhile for a child to sit for an hour reverently in sacrament. I have always taken that instruction seriously and have been called to Primary couple of times since, to always make it fun as well as spiritual. I did have a parent that objected but most have been delighted because their children were so enthusiastic about church.

I also found giving the more irreverent ones responsibility and jobs and asking the children what were their favourite things to do at church, we had a suggestion box and would use one of their ideas every so often, treats can bite you in the bum as you need to get permission from parents first about what they find acceptable by way of treats.

Also i have always found using a buddy system works well taking the older children and giving them a younger child to look after during sharing time really helped, they helped them with scriptures and words on the song sheets etc

-Charley

Edited March 23, 2009 by Elgama

[havejoy]

I need to have a meeting with my teachers so they'll be more helpful. I also like the idea of starting out with some stretches and deep breathing. I think that would help them focus.

I've always believed any kind of learning can and should be fun and I guess that's especially important in this age group. I really do want them to love coming to Primary. I'll be talking with my teachers about that too. Thanks.

[WillowTheWhisp]

I've served quite a lot in Primary both as a teacher and on the presidency. I have never known the childen to be still for the whole time. During class time it mtters more that they sit and listen but even then the teachers can incorporate some kind of activity to grab their attention. I found that giving responsibility to the most disruptive ones often gets them to calm down as they are then reponsible for giving a good impression to the others.

We have never been allowed to give treats. a) because some children may have allergies or the parent my simply object to them being given sweets or something and b) not everyone called to Primary can afford to buy treats and one teacher who can should not set a precedent for other teachers who maybe cannot. Wht we did do was a 'sticky star' or 'sticky smile' system though where the children would get awarded a simple stick on star or smiley on a chart. Everyone was encouraged to build up their chart and it was important to ensure that a child didn;t feel inferior with fewer stars even if they were not as quiet and still as others. We hve had children with learning difficulties and ADHD which can be more of a challenge.

Sharing time is usually a time for letting off abit of steam. We've always tried to incorporate something to use up a bit of energy and get them participating, on sunny days we would go outside. The end of Sharingtime would always be a wind down with a reverent song and quiet moment or two though.

Its certainly a challenging calling but extremely rewarding, especially when you think the children haven't taken a blind bit of notice of what you are teaching but then a parent comes and tells you that they told the family all about Samuel the Lamanite or Daniel in the lion's den over Sunday dinner.

[Madriglace]

I remember sticky stars from primary when I was a kid ... it was a big deal to come home with a BIG gold one on your forehead ... meant you were really good. BTW I am 55 so that was before electricity!

[prospectmom]

Should I just duct tape the mouths of the ones who are the loudest? I live in Texas so I'm sure it would be legal.

I hav done that before :}not at church though... Have a competition between the classes.. who can be most reverent...... Have two or three children stand at the front arms folded reverent before class as an example... Have the teachers be there and be an example...... When getting positive behavior compliment... tell parents get Bishop or others to come in and comment/encourage positive behavior...... We use positive behavior support at my school and it works very well.......... I have been a primary Teacher and my tecniques worked with my class. Good luck ... Breath and Pray

[havejoy]

Thanks! I'll use all the suggestions given so far.

[pam]

I think that at times it's inspiration to call someone to a position such as that who has never been in that organization. You have somewhat an outsiders look in. Bringing a fresh new approach to things instead of perpectuating an ongoing problem. Just my opinion on that.

When I was Primary President we had a reverence thermometer. You could raise or lower dependent on the reverence. If the kids saw it being lowered then knew to quiet down a little. Also we dismissed from Primary the class that was THE most reverent. Kids are anxious to get out of there and go home. So they wanted to be the first class out the door. That class also got a little treat as they went out the door.

[havejoy]

I like the reverence thermometer idea. We're going to have one that looks like a real thermometer for the big kids and one that looks like a flower growing out of a pot for the younger ones.

BTW, they were a lot better yesterday. Maybe part of the problem last week was having a new presidency in there and they were testing us. This week I wanted to put them all in my pocket and bring them home with me.

[siouxz72]

I like ma's idea of doing some stretches and some focus breathing :) That seems like a great way to get the wiggles out! :) Sometimes having a boy and a girl up at the front arms folded as classes are walking in would help kids to remember to be reverent too.

[havejoy]

We had the presidency and the pianist and the music director all standing at the front with our arms folded. I think it helped set the tone. Next time I'll ask a boy and girl to help us.

[pam]

Yes I also had a boy and girl standing in front with arms folded as well.

[cindyrdw]

Congratulations! Being a very old Primary President of a very large Primary (we have a dependent branch and I have 160+ kids on my rolls; 100+ there every Sunday) I have several reverence tricks. In a Primary your size, back when I had a Primary your size, I used to be sure that Sharing Times involved a lot of getting up, such as games on the board or marked in masking tape on the floor or flannel board stories (works best for the little ones if you have a split sharing time). We used (still do) a pick jar with kids names so that everyone got a turn, not just the eager beavers. One trick that works very well when we're having an extraordinarily bad day is to pick a name, look at it and say, "Oh . . . I'm sorry. This child isn't being very reverent today - we'll have to pick another." Obviously, the kids can't see the names and we, of course, don't mention any names. Generally speaking, it doesn't matter whose name is on the stick - we're going for general reverence, NOT singling out any one child. We also have sticks that say, "most reverent", "listening carefully", etc. so that we can pick one who's trying really hard sometimes.

I have a wind-up music/jewelry box. I wind it up partway before Sharing Time and if it gets noisy, I open the box and leave it open until it gets quiet(er!) The box is full of stickers and if there is music "left in the box" at the end of Sharing Time, everyone gets a sticker.

We have a mail box for the end of Sharing Time. We use it for talks, scripture, prayer assignments but it's also used for reverence awards. Our Primary is so large that we have one Reverence Certificate for the "most reverent" but also big stickers that say "Awesome", "Neat", "Amazing" and choose a child from each class to get the smaller ones, too - otherwise it takes too long to get a recognition of some kind. The kids from each Sharing Time who receive a certificate get to be our "Reverence children" for Sacrament Meeting - they stand on either side of the podium with their arms folded to be an example. The Bishop always thanks them by name and shakes their hands. It's a big deal - even our Sunbeams want to do it, although mom or dad usually stands with them. Since you have a smaller Primary, you might could choose a boy and a girl or pick one older and one younger child. Our Secretary chooses the children and keeps a chart in her stuff so that we can catch even the most reverence-challenged child doing something right - everybody eventually gets a chance.

[Hemidakota]

I've just been called as Primary President and I've never been in primary before in any capacity. Today was my first experience and I was surprised at how much talking, walking around, and just general irreverent behavior was going on. We only have about 35 kids and at any given time about 15 to 20 were talking.

I'm open to ideas for getting this under control without alienating them.

Should I make blue and pink silk capes with a giant "R" on each one for the quietest child to be Reverence Man or Reverence Woman?

Should I bring treats for the ones who behave the best?

Should I give one invitation out each week to the most reverent child and then do something special with them later?

Should I just duct tape the mouths of the ones who are the loudest? I live in Texas so I'm sure it would be legal.

Any ideas on what would work?

How old are the children? Is there an Elder assigned with you due to class size?

[havejoy]

Congratulations! Being a very old Primary President of a very large Primary (we have a dependent branch and I have 160+ kids on my rolls; 100+ there every Sunday) I have several reverence tricks. In a Primary your size, back when I had a Primary your size, I used to be sure that Sharing Times involved a lot of getting up, such as games on the board or marked in masking tape on the floor or flannel board stories (works best for the little ones if you have a split sharing time). We used (still do) a pick jar with kids names so that everyone got a turn, not just the eager beavers. One trick that works very well when we're having an extraordinarily bad day is to pick a name, look at it and say, "Oh . . . I'm sorry. This child isn't being very reverent today - we'll have to pick another." Obviously, the kids can't see the names and we, of course, don't mention any names. Generally speaking, it doesn't matter whose name is on the stick - we're going for general reverence, NOT singling out any one child. We also have sticks that say, "most reverent", "listening carefully", etc. so that we can pick one who's trying really hard sometimes.

I have a wind-up music/jewelry box. I wind it up partway before Sharing Time and if it gets noisy, I open the box and leave it open until it gets quiet(er!) The box is full of stickers and if there is music "left in the box" at the end of Sharing Time, everyone gets a sticker.

We have a mail box for the end of Sharing Time. We use it for talks, scripture, prayer assignments but it's also used for reverence awards. Our Primary is so large that we have one Reverence Certificate for the "most reverent" but also big stickers that say "Awesome", "Neat", "Amazing" and choose a child from each class to get the smaller ones, too - otherwise it takes too long to get a recognition of some kind. The kids from each Sharing Time who receive a certificate get to be our "Reverence children" for Sacrament Meeting - they stand on either side of the podium with their arms folded to be an example. The Bishop always thanks them by name and shakes their hands. It's a big deal - even our Sunbeams want to do it, although mom or dad usually stands with them. Since you have a smaller Primary, you might could choose a boy and a girl or pick one older and one younger child. Our Secretary chooses the children and keeps a chart in her stuff so that we can catch even the most reverence-challenged child doing something right - everybody eventually gets a chance.

I love every idea you've given. I'll bring them to our weekly meeting this Thursday and I think we'll incorporate them all.

[havejoy]

Hemi,

The kids are 3 years to 12 years. Each class has a teacher who has now been asked to stay with their class during singing and sharing time. It's been much better. We do have two M Priesthood holders who teach the CTR 5's.

[cindyrdw]

I have two sets of male teachers, one for Valiant 9 and one for Valiant 11/12 boys (we split ours up at that age by boy and girl - find it works better!) I love my priesthood holder teachers - kids always respond to them and they are very dedicated pairs.

[havejoy]

My CTR 5 Class is all boys. They are all really healthy and active and bright and they very nearly drove their last teacher crazy. But it's the class I would want to teach if I could be a teacher in primary.

I do think they benefit a lot from the priesthood being there. I think we all do.

[cindyrdw]

I love every idea you've given. I'll bring them to our weekly meeting this Thursday and I think we'll incorporate them all.

Cool! Let me know what you decide to try and how it works. Every Primary is different - it's always fun to hear different ideas about what works. Now if I can just figure out a really good Sharing Time for Sunday!

[havejoy]

Tomorrow I'm making two more sticks for our name box that say "most reverent" and "quietest listener". I'll also be shopping for a little music box. We already have the stickers to go in it.

We've been really busy this week getting ready for our quarterly activity but that's a whole 'nother thread.

[havejoy]

Cool! Let me know what you decide to try and how it works. Every Primary is different - it's always fun to hear different ideas about what works. Now if I can just figure out a really good Sharing Time for Sunday!

The idea of picking our reverent children from whoever is the most reverent is really working well. We have so many trying to be picked that we've had to start giving out stickers to all the "runner ups".

The kids have been really good for the most part but it seems as though there are always one or two who want to be challenging. I warned one 5 year old last week that if he didn't stop talking and stay in his seat I would take him to his dad. I did end up taking him to his dad and it seemed to make everyone else calm down a bit. I asked his dad to talk to him and then send him back and he returned being really good. I think he was just testing me because I've baysat for him before and he knows I love him a bunch.

[Elgama]

The idea of picking our reverent children from whoever is the most reverent is really working well. We have so many trying to be picked that we've had to start giving out stickers to all the "runner ups".

The kids have been really good for the most part but it seems as though there are always one or two who want to be challenging. I warned one 5 year old last week that if he didn't stop talking and stay in his seat I would take him to his dad. I did end up taking him to his dad and it seemed to make everyone else calm down a bit. I asked his dad to talk to him and then send him back and he returned being really good. I think he was just testing me because I've baysat for him before and he knows I love him a bunch.

from his talks gather President Monson was one of those that struggled lol - one of his talks he mentions his Primary teacher sitting down and talking to him, explaining how sad it made her that she couldn't get her class to be reverent and put him in charge of reverence apparently she never had any bother lol

-Charley