Do I join the LDS Church????

[JPL1234]

Hi All,

New to the board, I should have introduced myself on the other board but I have questions to ask so I figure just do it in one post here.

My story (Coles notes version).

My husband was a strong member of the church years before I met him. He has been

"inactive" since (I think "disfellowshiped") and is now wanting to return to the church, live the WOW, etc. etc. He believes without any doubt that the Book of Mormon, the bible, etc. is true. He believes that if we do not join, we will not be together forever (in the afterlife), nor our family with us (we have a son).

I am not a mormon, nor was I raised with religion.

I want to support my husband as much as possible, I feel that he truly needs the church in his life, and I want to make sure that he stays on track with it and be the best influence I can on him.

Here is my problem. It is right for a spouse to join the LDS simply because you are a spouse and want to support? I mean, I have to be honest and say that there are some things about the LDS church, the Book of mormon, and even the WOW that I have some problems with. Can someone be a member if they have doubts about the Book of Mormon? and, or, The Bible? Should I just join and keep my reservations to myself????? Can I be a member when I don't necessarily believe everything but do some things?

I am slowly reading the Book of Mormon, have read "Mormon for Dummies" and watched videos and read alot (maybe too much) on the internet. There are lots of sites.....We have started to go to church also.

There are many things I admire about the LDS community. The strong emphasis on family, their values and morals, even the WOW (although I find a bit extreme I'd do it to support my husband).

Where does everyone stand on this?

JPL

[TRomans]

Ok I see this is your first post to first of all welcome to LDS.net this is a great place to find answers.

Second of all I personally feel that it is not right for you to join the church because your husband is LDS. You want to support your husband thats great. However I think you can support him without becoming a Mormon. I dont know about you but I would not enjoy doing something I do not believe in. From the sounds of it you have good intentions but I think that if you have doubts about the Book of Mormon or the WoW that maybe the church is not right for you at this time. Who knows maybe down the road you will grow a testimony I do not know only time will tell. Anyways thats my two cents, I am curious to see what others post here as well.

Cheers

Tyler

[Islander]

Tyler above was very eloquent. I just wanted to ad that your questions denote the fact that you have a very limited understanding of Christianity in particular and or religion in general. I suggest that without a clear insight into who God is and why we seek to understand His purposes for us you will not get very far. Your assertion that it would be "good for him" (your husband) but not for you could not be further from the truth. but again, it is clear that you do not understand, your are not there yet.

As far as joining the Church just to be supportive, I agree with the post above. It makes no sense at all. It is not a fraternal organization or a social group. You do not owe allegiance to a group of people but membership means you are seeking a covennant with God Himself and desire to join His people.

[bytebear]

My recommendation is to test the Gospel. Live the Word of Wisdom, and see if you are blessed. Do that with other aspects of the Gospel. Scripture reading, church attendence, even tithing. Test every principle of the Gospel, and see if you are happier, have a better life. Then you will know.

[the Ogre]

JPL:

Welcome to LDS.net.

Ummm . . . I know a woman who joined for that exact reason: to please her husband. She had doubts going in, but eventually formed a strong testimony. She became the anchor for that family and is the Stake Relief Society President in the neighboring Stake (I live in Orem, so she only lives a few blocks away). I know a young man who did the same thing. He married my aunt (she's my age, so she's my friend and almost a sibling as well). He struggled his entire life, but could not fully follow the word of wisdom (he smoked). He died earlier this year a very unhappy man. He was never able to take her to the temple. Yes he went to church every week and he had a testimony of sorts, but never could welcome the church completely. Next year, my dad, her oldest brother, is going to help her get his temple work done (he requested it) and have their five children sealed to him.

I think it is a personal choice. I think you could have a great experience, a lukewarm one, or a sad one. I would support you on anything you did. I love the church, but I would rather you were happy. I know you can find happiness as a member.

If you follow this forum long enough, you will learn that many members have doubts, but they keep trying.

Aaron the Ogre

[Traveler]

Hi All,

New to the board, I should have introduced myself on the other board but I have questions to ask so I figure just do it in one post here.

My story (Coles notes version).

My husband was a strong member of the church years before I met him. He has been

"inactive" since (I think "disfellowshiped") and is now wanting to return to the church, live the WOW, etc. etc. He believes without any doubt that the Book of Mormon, the bible, etc. is true. He believes that if we do not join, we will not be together forever (in the afterlife), nor our family with us (we have a son).

I am not a mormon, nor was I raised with religion.

I want to support my husband as much as possible, I feel that he truly needs the church in his life, and I want to make sure that he stays on track with it and be the best influence I can on him.

Here is my problem. It is right for a spouse to join the LDS simply because you are a spouse and want to support? I mean, I have to be honest and say that there are some things about the LDS church, the Book of mormon, and even the WOW that I have some problems with. Can someone be a member if they have doubts about the Book of Mormon? and, or, The Bible? Should I just join and keep my reservations to myself????? Can I be a member when I don't necessarily believe everything but do some things?

I am slowly reading the Book of Mormon, have read "Mormon for Dummies" and watched videos and read alot (maybe too much) on the internet. There are lots of sites.....We have started to go to church also.

There are many things I admire about the LDS community. The strong emphasis on family, their values and morals, even the WOW (although I find a bit extreme I'd do it to support my husband).

Where does everyone stand on this?

JPL

I believe that everyone should join the LDS church and live as best they can the principles taught, even if they have reservations or concerns. It appears to me that Jesus had reservations and concerns about being our savior but he gave his life to support us and his Father’s hope in us.

If you are willing to give your life in support of your husband – I would love to know thousands of other members like you. Most people I know are more selfish and motivated; it would appear, only for things for themselves or their self happiness.

Thanks for posting here and I commend you, your spirit of love and your desire to seek knowledge. Should you ever become concerned with what you are asked to do as a “Mormon” I hope you would share that concern.

The Traveler

[Dravin]

You can still be supportive, you can go the Church with him on Sunday and various activities you can even participate in Relief Society (the women's organization in the church) without being a member, and please investigate the matter just don't join solely because you want to support him.

You shouldn't join unless you can answer these (some of the baptismal interview questions) amongst a few others:

Do you believe that God is our Eternal Father? Do you believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the Savior and Redeemer of the world?

Do you believe the Church and gospel of Jesus Christ have been restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith? Do you believe that [current Church President] is a prophet of God? What does this mean to you?

When you are baptized, you covenant with God that you are willing to take upon yourself the name of Christ and keep His commandments throughout your life. Are you ready to make this covenant and strive to be faithful to it?

[mikbone]

Yes!

And welcome.

[MarginOfError]

You can do it by your own choice or we'll do it for you later.

Church Investigates Proxy Baptism of President's Mother

I'm just kidding. The guide I would use in your decision...if you think that being a member of this Church will make you a happier person, then join.

[Maya]

I would say that you should go and talk with the bishop of your husbands... without him! He knows you... I suppose from before and anyway he knows your husband.

I had a friend she was doubtful now she is fully in the picture.

Your doubts may be just misconsepts or things you just have to try to believe. Like the father said to Jesus; I believe, help my unbelief.

I think all of us have our doubts ever now and then. It is just that we can not let our doubts role our world.

Also my teacher said: Think what do we loose if we say we believe and what we may lose if we deny belief!

I think that was the time I really decided to believe. There was so much to gain and so little to loose. My scale just dropped down to belief side.

[LDSVALLEY]

As a Ward Mission Leader if you were in our ward I would offer the following.

1 don't join unless you have confirmation from the Holy Ghost that you are ready. Otherwise you provide Satan the opportunity to work on your concerns.

2 you do not have to have a sure testimony in all things when you decide to join (if) if you pray about it being true and get confirmation from the Holy Ghost then you are ready. Everything comes slowly step by step. After 12 years I have large growth spurts followed by months of slow growth.

3 I would suggest you continue to attend sacrament, and try and attend Gospel Principle classes. Your husband might be attending regular Sunday school, if so you might want to encourage him to attend GP with you. It teaches the basics of the doctrine. Without the solid simple foundation it is very easy to misunderstand the regular classes that are designed to teach people with a basic foundation of the Gospel.

4 I firmly believe that outside the church we are married until death do us part. But simply joining the church doesn't do it either. We must do so for the right intent and life honestly.

5 becoming LDS is a life changing event, don't feel the need to rush in. One person in our ward became a member last year, 15 years after his wife. Some people gain testimonies quickly some slowly. Personally I have found those who it takes time end up with the stronger testimonies.

6 Invite the Missionaries Full time or Ward over to teach you the lessons. Ask questions of everyone especially ward or full time missionaires.

7 It seems 80% of the web sites on line are anti. Stick to ones like this or official church ones. I've looked into several dozen and most are not truthful. Or worst only tell half truths and fill the gaps with lies. Never have understood why so many who are not interested in the church waste so much time trying to pull down something that even if it was not true ( it is) still spend their time doing good in the world.

8 Don't stress over it. If you worry you will not be receptive. I told the Missionairies the first time they came they could talk but had no hope of brainwashing me into their cult. They said they won't they would tell us some stuff, god would tell us to join. They were right.

[prisonchaplain]

I'm not LDS, but can address the broader question of joining that which you are not fully committed to. Do you have to? I mean today? No? This week? No. This year??? What I'm driving at is, can't you just go with your husband for awhile...months, perhaps even a couple of years or so, and see if the faith grows on you, so that you can embrace it on your own?

After a good long season, if it still doesn't fit, you can both compromise, and join my church . . . :-) (j/k--tongue in cheek, for the sober-minded folk, here)

[Italics]

Hi All,

New to the board, I should have introduced myself on the other board but I have questions to ask so I figure just do it in one post here.

My story (Coles notes version).

My husband was a strong member of the church years before I met him. He has been

"inactive" since (I think "disfellowshiped") and is now wanting to return to the church, live the WOW, etc. etc. He believes without any doubt that the Book of Mormon, the bible, etc. is true. He believes that if we do not join, we will not be together forever (in the afterlife), nor our family with us (we have a son).

I am not a mormon, nor was I raised with religion.

I want to support my husband as much as possible, I feel that he truly needs the church in his life, and I want to make sure that he stays on track with it and be the best influence I can on him.

Here is my problem. It is right for a spouse to join the LDS simply because you are a spouse and want to support? I mean, I have to be honest and say that there are some things about the LDS church, the Book of mormon, and even the WOW that I have some problems with. Can someone be a member if they have doubts about the Book of Mormon? and, or, The Bible? Should I just join and keep my reservations to myself????? Can I be a member when I don't necessarily believe everything but do some things?

I am slowly reading the Book of Mormon, have read "Mormon for Dummies" and watched videos and read alot (maybe too much) on the internet. There are lots of sites.....We have started to go to church also.

There are many things I admire about the LDS community. The strong emphasis on family, their values and morals, even the WOW (although I find a bit extreme I'd do it to support my husband).

Where does everyone stand on this?

JPL

Joining for your husband is certain not a legit reason... but good motivation and a good starting point!

That's great that you are reading and studying up on the gospel, but truly it all comes down to if/when/how you pray to ask God to answer this question for you. We can all give you our advice... God, however, will literally answer this question for you if you're willing to ask with an open mind.

Ask yourself this, though: Are you at all afraid of finding out if the church is true? Do you fear/dread/whatever the thought of having to do things like live the WOW? If you are afraid or unwilling of having to live certain commandments, no answer will come, because God is not going to make you be accountable for knowing that something is true but refusing to live it. These are issues that should always be resolved before expecting an answer.

To sum it up: Are you TRUTHFULLY prepared to do whatever God commands you? Or are you perfectly content with how things are now?

[skippy740]

I'm going to play "devil's advocate" here (not literally, but most of the other good points have been made).

Ask yourself this question: What is the WORST that can happen if I live my life according to the teachings of the LDS faith? I'm not talking about the doctrines here. I'm just talking about lifestyle. Would you be living a bad life?

What if it WASN'T true? Would you be worse off? (You can read the article in my signature if you'd like to compare the definitions of the word "saved".)

I've always liked the quote from Hub McCann said in the movie Secondhand Lions where Walter was questioning the truthfullness of his great uncle's stories.

Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.

Just something else to consider.

[the Ogre]

. . . What is the WORST that can happen if I live my life according to the teachings of the LDS faith? . . . Would you be worse off? . . .

I asked the same question when I was reactivating and the answer was . . . AA.

Yes, being sober sucked for years after I became active. Have you ever taken a test in the BYU testing center sober? I have, it's terrible.

On some of those long physics and chem tests, I wished I could have brought in a "water" bottle of some sort.