Found out I'm adopted...

[SteveMcluuf]

Sometimes when life gets nuts, it really gets nuts. Recently I was let go at my job (see previous post) and in the process of applying for a new job, I realized that I couldn't find my birth certificate. I asked my parents about it and, long story short, it turns out that I'm adopted! I had no idea! I know, it's crazy but for some reason my parents never told me and the truth only came out b/c of the birth certificate mayhem. Apparently it was an "under the table" type adoption because my parents didn't have the money to adopt and my birth mother (a friend of a friend, according to them) was also poor and did not have the resources to raise a child. So there is no official paperwork although they did manage to get me a birth certificate and a social security card (how, I don't know -- my dad refuses to go into details but I think he got one of his government working friends to pull some strings).

Anyway, I'm thinking about contacting my birth mother. I have a lot of questions. My parents do not know what happened to her but the friend that connected them is still alive I think (although they haven't spoken to her in over ten years and last we heard she was living many states away). I'll try to keep everyone updated although I'm still trying to wrap my head around all this!

[phatbac]

Wow steve, good luck on finding your birthmother! if you have her name i would look on the social netwroking sites (i.e. facebook) to see if she has a page and try to contact her that way. i found a friend from HS that way.

It must be a shock and good luck on find her and i hope everything goes smoothly.

[Bini]

Be prepared for what you find.

I'm adopted as well. But have never had any interest in finding any of my biological family members. Then again, finding them back in the Philippines would be an impossible task, especially since I was orphaned and have no records of my birth parents at all. My birth certificate has my birthday as the official day I was legally adopted by my now parents. So even my age is a total guess.

Good luck in your search.

[MorningStar]

A friend of mine found out when she was 80! Her brother told her during a moment of anger.

Last January we found out my grandmother had two more children we didn't know about. She's been missing for 40 years and after a started a blog about her, my cousin I didn't know existed commented and said he thought she was his grandmother too. Yep. So said the DNA test.

[Guest]

Lucky you, Steve!

You might be wondering, huh???

But, this is what an adopted friend told me, "I'm special because my parents CHOSE me. Your parents just got stuck with you."

So yeah, same friend also told me, what makes a mother/father is how they raised you and not necessarily what blood is running on your veins. I think everybody is wired with the "need to know my roots" desires. But, it doesn't necessarily change the fact that your parents are the ones who raised you. So, it shouldn't matter much beyond the, "Oh, so that's why I have blue eyes" thing.

[NeuroTypical]

We keep telling our kids they're adopted, but they don't believe us. :)

So, as you muddle your way through this thing that seems like it's turned reality on it's head, remember something. Your parents, the people who raised you, are the same people today that they were yesterday, last month, your entire life. Nothing has changed with them, or your relationship with them. It's just that you have a new understanding about the nature of their love for you.

LM

[WillowTheWhisp]

I think one really good reason for finding out about our birth parents is for medical reasons like if you have any possible inherited illneses. I'm always being asked questions about family medical history which I don't know the answers to.

[Guest Alana]

Biological mothers can be overrated. I know, sounds harsh... but I really feel no connection with mine, she didn't raise me.

[SteveMcluuf]

OK, so you won't believe this. After what seems like a hundred phone calls and dozens of hours on an emotional roller coaster, I finally tracked down my birth mother. Turns out ... she is a famous movie star! I'm not going to reveal her name here but let's just say if I did, you would recognize it. I talked to her for about an hour last night. She is nice but made it clear that she really isn't interested in forming a relationship. I'm not sure how to feel since I never knew she even existed until last week and she didn't raise me.

Her agent (also her lawyer maybe, I'm not sure) contacted me today and they want me to sign a non-disclosure agreement not to reveal the truth that my birth mother, who is now famous, had a child out of wedlock and gave it up in an "under the table" adoption deal. I think they are afraid if the truth comes out, it could severely impact her career. They are willing to offer me $250,000 to keep quiet. I'm really thinking about accepting it since I do need the money since I lost my job and have been forced to take a significantly lower paying job and the payments on the new house aren't cheap. Do you think there are ethical/moral issues in taking the money? Of course I intend to tithe on it if I take it but I can't but feel that this is a providential blessing sent to me in my time of need.

Ah, so many emotions I don't know which way is up anymore....

[pam]

Ah, so many emotions I don't know which way is up anymore....

I can totally relate to that comment.

[pam]

Steve I can understand how you are having such a difficult time "wrapping your head around all of this." I just can't imagine. You've been through so much in the 7 months of being a member of this site. From dating a cowork, getting married, having ghosts in your home, getting fired and now finding out you are the biological son of a famous movie star? You must be one very strong person. Personally, if I had that many momentous things happen in my life in such a short time, I'd be committing myself.

[Palerider]

Wait until the National Enquirer gets ahold of this story.....:eek:

[pam]

They just might with all the search bots we get that search this site.

[Wingnut]

Honestly, with things that happen in Hollywood these days, I think would take a lot more than finding out someone had a child out of wedlock and gave it up for adoption to ruin an actress's career.

I think you should tell us who it is and then sign the non-disclosure agreement.

If you sign the non-disclosure, are there any sort of exceptions? Can you tell family? What about your best friend?

[john doe]

OK, so you won't believe this.....

You're right, I won't. You should have kept it believable, some story about how your mom is the daughter of some rich unnamed industrialist somewhere in Europe who lives in seclusion on a mountaintop castle that is only accessible by ground 8 months out of the year, and that your blood heritage explains the reason why your palms get hairy during certain phases of the moon. But this one is over the top, even for you.

So, when she eventually invites you to her home, as I'm sure the story was going in that direction, give Raquel Welch my regards. She may be old, but she's still hot.

[pam]

In other words...we don't believe the story for one second.

[nbblood]

I say take the $250K and keep it to yourself......all of it.

[Bini]

When I think about your story, this comes to mind.

[pam]

And the fish started like this:

Edited January 14, 2010 by pam

[FunkyTown]

Yay, Steve! Here you go, having a ghost in your house, being fired for refusing to spy on your bosses wife and finding out you've got a super rich Mom in the process! Don't listen to these nay-sayers who don't believe you. Let's look at what you said originally:

Apparently it was an "under the table" type adoption because my parents didn't have the money to adopt and my birth mother (a friend of a friend, according to them) was also poor and did not have the resources to raise a child.

So this person was poor, knew your parents and gave you up for adoption to them without any paperwork. You then went on to say:

Turns out ... she is a famous movie star!

Ah, so many emotions I don't know which way is up anymore....

I cut out the parts in between. So let's look at what we know about you:

1) You're 30. We can tell by your profile.

2) You have an actress who is currently famous who was your mother and was poor at the time.

3) You live in Chicago.

SAINTS BE PRAISED, Steve! There's a way to verify and validate everything you've said. Why, I can even identify the actress based solely upon the information you've given me. I just need to clarify a few things:

1) Where are you from originally? Was it Chicago? You might not know this, but there are lots of resources that brag about where actresses are from originally, so it's easy to say who she is.

2) Your mother had to have been not famous at the time, since she didn't have money and did this under the table.

3) Your mother was of child-bearing age at the time, which I will place at the age of 14, but she still was not famous at this point. You might not know this, but imdb is a site that shows when actresses got discovered. Why, we have narrowed down this list considerably by this point!

4) She's still famous to the point that your story would cause considerable trouble for her. If she had no fame and had lost her fortune, she obviously couldn't afford to buy you off.

Since your mother would have to be 44, still famous, wealthy, acting and from the same area as you(Or lived there), we can identify exactly who she is based upon what you have said.

You might not be aware, but I am a bit of an amateur snoop on the internet. I love debunking lies being told on websites. I suspect a lot of other people on here know this as I have done this several times in the past.

So, you don't need to break any rule at all. Just tell us where you were born originally and I can verify whether or not what you're saying is possible so that these naysayers and negative-Nannies can be put in their place. I'll back you up and I promise I won't even say who it is!

Just answer that one question: Are you from Chicago originally?

[pam]

Wow did JD really know Raquel Welch was from Chicago or was that a lucky guess? haha

[FunkyTown]

Unfortunately, Raquel Welch appeared in Playboy in 1979 in December, which is when she would have been pregnant with him. She also appeared in the magazine 'Diva' at this time. She also appeared in 1979 on 'Mork and the Necrotons' in two episodes. Sadly, since she would have shown a bump during one of those 4 things, she can't be his mother.

However, Raquel Welch was a great guess! She was married in 1980 to Andre Weinfeld, which would mean her being pregnant the year before would have been scandalous if it wasn't his.

Of course, that would mean that they could have been married the year before and no one would think she had a child out of wedlock.

[Wingnut]

Gillian Anderson would probably fit the whole thing except for her age. Born in 1968 makes her a little too young.

Cindy Crawford, while not an actress, could have been old enough (13) and wasn't discovered until she was 16 (1982).

[Gwen]

some ppl seriously have to much time on their hands.... lol... i won't name names. don't forget this site has a chat room if you get too bored.

[beefche]

There are some people on here who have a wicked amount of useless trivia.