America discriminates against men.

[Voyager]

The following article caught my attention. It deals with men being thrown in jail for not paying child support on time. The problem I think most people ignore is that the very term "deadbeat dad" makes it clear that men are less likely to get possession of their kids. I do not believe women are less likely to disolve a marriage or mess around on their husband. Maybe men need to make a better case for defending their rights.

Don’t pay support, go directly to jail

[Gwen]

it's very much a slanted system. divorced mom's are put on a pedestal and dad's are labeled deadbeats. but i can promise you there are deadbeat mom's. and yes i think that mom's that alienate the dad is a deadbeat even if she has custody.

i know a dad that the mom left. she has very little to do with the kids unless her parents want to see them. so now he's a single dad with 2 boys trying to make ends meet in an economy where employment is hard to hold onto. when he found himself without a job he went to the county health office to apply for wick, health insurance and whatnot for the boys. he got denied because "the request had already been made and denied". after talking to a lot of ppl and trying to figure out how the kids had been applied for already he found out the mom went as soon as he lost his job and applied for all the money. she didn't have the kids nor did she want them. because she didn't have custody of the kids it was denied. now the dad can't get the help. then to top it off the mom demanded that he pay her child support for the few visits she made to cover food etc while at her house. obviously that wasn't going to happen. so mom has a job but doesn't pay child support and he can't get govt help for the kids because she tried to steal the money out from under him. guess what they are doing about it? nothing. they are even dragging their feet to clear up the file so he can get the assistance. i can almost promise you if a father did that to a mom he would be prosecuted at no expense to the mom.

[Guest]

It's pretty sad that when 2 people divorce the dad more often than not, end up with only weekends with the kids regardless of how good a dad he is. My sister-in-law's brother is the same. Granted, he had issues which caused the divorce but you cannot deny that he is a good father.

It's like that Mrs. Doubtfire movie - I can sympathize wholeheartedly with Mrs. Doubtfire.

[HoosierGuy]

A mother should get some special treatment because she carries the child in her belly, something men don't do.

[Soulsearcher]

I wish they locked up men here for not paying child support. My friends ex husband is 10,000 behind, he pays 200 a month to support 4 kids and claims he's the worlds best dad and always doing the best and better than the woman paying to take care of the kids. I'd love to see him locked up and maybe learn what it means ot be responsible.

[Voyager]

A mother should get some special treatment because she carries the child in her belly, something men don't do.

Why? Isn't what is best for the kids the important thing? If two people are both good parents then they should get total joint custody. If one is better than the other, then gender should not matter. I think we will eventually have gay marriage in the whole USA. What will courts do in custody battles then?

[pam]

A mother should get some special treatment because she carries the child in her belly, something men don't do.

Oh hogwash, so a woman gets pregnant, carries the child, delivers, but that doesn't automatically make her a fit mother.

[HoosierGuy]

Why? Isn't what is best for the kids the important thing? If two people are both good parents then they should get total joint custody. If one is better than the other, then gender should not matter. I think we will eventually have gay marriage in the whole USA. What will courts do in custody battles then?

All things being equal and if this were a near perfect world - yeah, let both good parents share the kids equally. But it's far from perfect. Children belong with the mom.

Take a near perfect mom and a 100% perfect father - kids belong with the near perfect mom simply because she's the mother. I've found most men who cry over this are really crying because they have to pay child support and they don't want too. Why women would come down on the side of men? I assume it's their extreme conservative values (men are kings of the house) and all that ideology.

[Jenamarie]

All things being equal and if this were a near perfect world - yeah, let both good parents share the kids equally. But it's far from perfect. Children belong with the mom.

Take a near perfect mom and a 100% perfect father - kids belong with the near perfect mom simply because she's the mother. I've found most men who cry over this are really crying because they have to pay child support and they don't want too. Why women would come down on the side of men? I assume it's their extreme conservative values (men are kings of the house) and all that ideology.

Or it's because they love their kids? Or maybe mom wants the kids because she's counting on that child support money to support a lifestyle? Both sides have the potential to be greedy.

So you'd rather kids be with a less than stellar mom than with a great, kid-focused dad?

[Suzie]

It's simple. BOTH, women and men need to pay child support. NO special treatments for anyone! If they don't...throw them in jail. Kids need to eat, that isn't a choice!

[Moksha]

We've all seen the signs:

Men need not apply

Only Women spoken on these premises

No bra, no panties, no admission

Check your Men at the door

It's a Woman's world

Men, know your place

Is it any wonder that men are suffering from this manicured hand of injustice?

[HoosierGuy]

Or maybe mom wants the kids because she's counting on that child support money to support a lifestyle? Both sides have the potential to be greedy.

True. And if the mothers side is greedy then I can see the kids going to the father.

[john doe]

I'm not sure what kinds of places you frequent where they feel the need to check the women for bras and panties, but I'm guessing it has to do with bikers and large quantities of liquor.

[Guest xforeverxmetalx]

I also know men who I wouldn't be surprised if they were to put on a bra and panties and demand entry.

But it's not surprising to hear about discrimination against men as we discriminate against pretty much all majorities. Funny how it works out.

[Traveler]

The greatest gift a father can give his children is to love their mother and the greatest gift a mother can give her children is to love their father. I believe one of the greatest examples of love is to love when there is nothing personal to gain for it and it is difficult to do so.

The Traveler

[Guest]

The greatest gift a father can give his children is to love their mother and the greatest gift a mother can give her children is to love their father. I believe one of the greatest examples of love is to love when there is nothing personal to gain for it and it is difficult to do so.

The Traveler

Good point, Traveler. Unfortunately, it's not a perfect world.

There is no divorce in the Philippines but even then there is such a thing as legal separation - that is, the husband and wife doesn't share assets. It's technically a divorce but without the provision to be able to remarry.

Because, even in the Philippines where the culture is family-oriented, you can't escape the fact that people are fallible.

For example, my sister-in-law's brother is a very good husband and father. But, he is a soldier. When he came home from Afghanistan, he suffered some kind of psychosis. It became impossible for his wife to live with him. Both his family and her family - all devout Catholic - adviced her to go ahead and file for divorce before somebody gets hurt.

He loves his wife very very much. She loves him very very much too but she has to think of the welfare of her children.

He has recovered now. It was a long drawn-out battle for him. But, it didn't matter how well he has recovered. He can't get his children back. She remarried to a very good man who is now the children's father.

[Guest]

I read an article once that showed a study that proves the public school system gives girls an advantage over boys.

A boy learns by experience while a girl learns by observation. But in the school system, boys are "commanded" to be quiet and be still and just observe. They end up just "spacing out" because it is difficult for them to be quiet and be still and learn.

After generations of this type of learning, the male species will eventually get re-wired and lose their male-ness.

[john doe]

I read an article once that showed a study that proves the public school system gives girls an advantage over boys.

A boy learns by experience while a girl learns by observation. But in the school system, boys are "commanded" to be quiet and be still and just observe. They end up just "spacing out" because it is difficult for them to be quiet and be still and learn.

After generations of this type of learning, the male species will eventually get re-wired and lose their male-ness.

Hmmm, instant liberals.

[HoosierGuy]

Hmmm, instant liberals.

Another slap in the face.

[Guest Alana]

I don't' think that article says anything prejudice against men. It never says 'deadbeat dad' but does say 'deadbeat parent.' Then again, I'm a girl who was raised by her dad after the courts gave him full custody even though my mother fought for custody also.

[HoosierGuy]

For example, my sister-in-law's brother is a very good husband and father. But, he is a soldier. When he came home from Afghanistan, he suffered some kind of psychosis. It became impossible for his wife to live with him. Both his family and her family - all devout Catholic - adviced her to go ahead and file for divorce before somebody gets hurt.

He loves his wife very very much. She loves him very very much too but she has to think of the welfare of her children.

He has recovered now. It was a long drawn-out battle for him. But, it didn't matter how well he has recovered. He can't get his children back. She remarried to a very good man who is now the children's father.

Wow. I can understand why the wife wanted to get away, but it's not really respectful to the husband. He's better now but lost his wife and kids? He got the bad end of the deal.

[HoosierGuy]

Hmmm, instant liberals.

Another below the belt hit.

[hordak]

All things being equal and if this were a near perfect world - yeah, let both good parents share the kids equally. But it's far from perfect. Children belong with the mom.

Take a near perfect mom and a 100% perfect father - kids belong with the near perfect mom simply because she's the mother. I've found most men who cry over this are really crying because they have to pay child support and they don't want too. Why women would come down on the side of men? I assume it's their extreme conservative values (men are kings of the house) and all that ideology.

I love this backwards type thinking it's like saying

Women belong in the kitchen.

Children belong (with both in a perfect world) but with the one who can provide the best comfortable, stable, loving, home environment possible and genitalia has absolutely nothing to do with these factors.

[Guest]

Wow. I can understand why the wife wanted to get away, but it's not really respectful to the husband. He's better now but lost his wife and kids? He got the bad end of the deal.

Not so, Hoosier. Turst me, the kids (3 kids with ages ranging from 1 to 4 years old at the time) would have gotten a very bad end of the deal if they weren't removed at the time he was going through the psychosis. And they were better off with a stable father figure than not having one - because there was no guarantee that their real father would have gotten better.

All in all, the decision was made not for any one of the parents. The decision was made for the children. And it was a decision that was not solely made by the mother either. The entire family was involved - both her side and his side. He continued to have support from both sides all throughout this ordeal.

Edited June 17, 2010 by anatess

[HoosierGuy]

I love this backwards type thinking it's like saying

Women belong in the kitchen.

Children belong (with both in a perfect world) but with the one who can provide the best comfortable, stable, loving, home environment possible and genitalia has absolutely nothing to do with these factors.

Take a semi-wealthy father and poor mother, both good parents. Who should have the kids? Both of course but for most of the time - the mother simply because she's the mother.