The_Phoenix Posted April 8, 2011 Report Posted April 8, 2011 I have been asked and must attend “training” to be an usher at the Temple opening. I have been assigned the parking lot; don’t know why I need training? In light of my recent decision to not attend the new Ward alone, should I do this? Maybe I am being silly, you tell me; nicely.
Gwen Posted April 8, 2011 Report Posted April 8, 2011 yes you need training. the amt of ppl they pull through the temple in a few days is amazing, few groups could pull it off and maintain reverence. if there is a leader there that requires security it complicates it even more. sounds like a neat opportunity, i would accept and attend the training. it's the lord's way of giving you an experience that will give you a new perspective on your decision?
The_Phoenix Posted April 8, 2011 Author Report Posted April 8, 2011 Yes, you are being silly! But if I follow the wife into inactivity, do I deserve to be a part of something so sacred? Even if she goes and starts arguing ‘this person is why I didn’t want to go”, I am just not going to do this. Then I will stay home so I don’t have to hear it. I am just not sure I have any fight left. Who knows we are empty nesters now, and this is a struggle. Maybe it is just a midlife crisis and I will get over it. Maybe I have lost my faith, in church, in people, in most everything. Anyway it is a tough adjustment after being in the same Ward for 27 years and then getting instant notice it is gone. I think the church truly needs to look at letting people know ‘the day of” their releases. Our Bishop got 15 mins, unable to let his wife know, his counselors found out at that very moment along with all the Presidents and teachers such as myself. To say we were in shock is an understatement. I don’t know but it seems people with callings should get some notice, instead of an open meeting such as this (to at least let their spouses know). I taught for 6 years and found out in an instant with 600 people surrounding me from three wards. People we crying openly, some had been in the Ward that was dissolved for 35 years 9since it was formed). I remember how angry I was after decades of employment (service) at the same place in a room filled with people we were all laid off. This just brought those memories back. Heck the Stake President is one of my best friends, and would tell me nothing. Even an hour before when I spoke to him.
Guest Posted April 8, 2011 Report Posted April 8, 2011 But if I follow the wife into inactivity, do I deserve to be a part of something so sacred? Even if she goes and starts arguing ‘this person is why I didn’t want to go”, I am just not going to do this. Then I will stay home so I don’t have to hear it. I am just not sure I have any fight left. Who knows we are empty nesters now, and this is a struggle. Maybe it is just a midlife crisis and I will get over it. Maybe I have lost my faith, in church, in people, in most everything. Anyway it is a tough adjustment after being in the same Ward for 27 years and then getting instant notice it is gone. I think the church truly needs to look at letting people know ‘the day of” their releases. Our Bishop got 15 mins, unable to let his wife know, his counselors found out at that very moment along with all the Presidents and teachers such as myself. To say we were in shock is an understatement. I don’t know but it seems people with callings should get some notice, instead of an open meeting such as this (to at least let their spouses know). I taught for 6 years and found out in an instant with 600 people surrounding me from three wards. People we crying openly, some had been in the Ward that was dissolved for 35 years 9since it was formed). I remember how angry I was after decades of employment (service) at the same place in a room filled with people we were all laid off. This just brought those memories back. Heck the Stake President is one of my best friends, and would tell me nothing. Even an hour before when I spoke to him.YOU ARE BEING SILLY. If I was there, I'd slap you! Okay, okay, I'm kidding. Maybe. Maybe not.ATTEND YOUR NEW WARD. GO WITHOUT THE WIFE IF NEED BE. NO NEED TO FIGHT ABOUT IT. She doesn't want to go doesn't mean you shouldn't go. JUST GO AND DON'T TALK ABOUT IT! Okay, so Adam left Eden to be with Eve but that doesn't apply to your situation... there's no BIGGER KNOWLEDGE to be had by not going to church!So, PULL UP YOUR BOOTSTRAPS AND EXERCISE YOUR PRIESTHOOD. You've gone 27 years faithful and happy and haven't learned a single thing! I dare say God gave you this challenge to see what you are going to do. And yes, I'm not in a position to judge, but from my side of the fence you look like you are FAILING!Okay, did that wake you up enough? Serving in the temple is fine. But, that's like poking Satan with a toothpick to get him off your back.(I'm not really a nagging witch... I just thought you need to hear this in the tone that I presented here... I truly am sympathetic to this challenge you are facing in your life)
Backroads Posted April 8, 2011 Report Posted April 8, 2011 anatess = And I agree with her. You seem tired, stressed, and, well, whiney about the whole thing. It's like trying to drag a kid to church. Do you or do you not have a testimony? You haven't gone into inactivity yet, so why not partake of something sacred? It might be the spiritual and emotional boost you need.
Wingnut Posted April 8, 2011 Report Posted April 8, 2011 If it were training to be a temple worker, or to be an usher or tour guide inside the temple, I would say -- YES! Turn it down! Despite it being as-yet undedicated and open to the public, it's still a sacred place and should be treated with reverence. Whereas you're being asked to direct traffic and be a hall monitor for the people in lines outside, do it if you want to.
pam Posted April 8, 2011 Report Posted April 8, 2011 Actually I think you are being silly about the entire situation. Ward boundaries change. Time to get over it.Heck the Stake President is one of my best friends, and would tell me nothing. Even an hour before when I spoke to him. Frankly I would lose respect for a Stake President that would mention anything that he was probably asked to not discuss at that time. Best friends or not.
Guest mormonmusic Posted April 8, 2011 Report Posted April 8, 2011 Phoenix -- I can tell this is really bothering you, and although I personally wouldn't be too ripped up about a short-notice dissolution/change in boundaries, I have never lived in the same place for as long as you have. So, I'm going to move forward assuming your concerns are valid and not silly -- personally, if something is bothering me, it's not silly. In this case, I'd consider venting in a journal or in MS Word, and get it all out. Introspect and figure out why this is bothering you so much. That's how I handle a lot of crises. It clarifies my thinking and helps me move forward. But if you think you're going to go there and inadvertently vent about your feelings, I'd probably stay home from it until you reach an equilibrium about how you feel, and what you're going to do moving forward.
Backroads Posted April 8, 2011 Report Posted April 8, 2011 mormonmusic, you are a good man. I am struggling to see this from Pheonix's side.
Suzie Posted April 8, 2011 Report Posted April 8, 2011 I was going to reply quite harshly to wake you up a little and tell you to get over it but anatess did it first. But I have to say.... I find the whole thing absolutely ridiculous really specially coming from big men who happen to be Priesthood holders. Church isn't a social club. Crying? Are you serious? If I tell you half of the challenges the brothers and sisters of my ward are having right now, I am pretty sure all of us will be crying. My goodness, there are people out there with BIG challenges who need our help! So what if you was in that ward for 27 years? Did you join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or did you join the Church of *name of your ward here*? Time to get over it and see the bigger picture here and stop the whining and feeling sorry for yourself. You have probably so much experience and insight to share to the members of the new ward and you can become such a BLESSING in their lives. I know you can!Your wife needs to do the same and stop worrying about who offended her and get her act together and go to the new ward! And if she doesn't want to do it, I assure that if you choose to go without her, she will choose to follow along after a while. I have no doubts about it.Enough of this nonsense, now give me a hug and I expect you in Church next Sunday!
Madriglace Posted April 8, 2011 Report Posted April 8, 2011 (edited) Working at an open house would be a fabulous missionary experience ... service = getting out of your comfort zone and putting your problems aside. Not to mention the wonderful spirit that will be on the grounds. It might calm your heart and help you handle your situation better. When the RS presidency that I was part of was released (after 6+ years) we all nearly did happy dances in the chapel. Things change ... we move on and grow ... line up on line. The Lord doesn't give us anything we can't handle and it is always for our good and our growth ... trust Him. Don't get in the way of your own progression. Edited April 8, 2011 by Madriglace
Gatekeeper Posted April 8, 2011 Report Posted April 8, 2011 I have been asked and must attend “training” to be an usher at the Temple opening. I have been assigned the parking lot; don’t know why I need training? In light of my recent decision to not attend the new Ward alone, should I do this? Maybe I am being silly, you tell me; nicely.Hello. I don't see that you are being silly--maybe just over concerned about doing what is peaceable for you, and your desire to serve should be as you see fit. Do what is best for you at this point; afterall, not attending your ward is up to you, you have agency. I admire that you can still consider service. You must remember that one prophet has expressed that we should do the best that we can. Just this statement supports your personal judgement. God Bless!
jlf9999 Posted April 9, 2011 Report Posted April 9, 2011 (edited) Pheonix You have some church related issues that may very well be addressed with just a couple of things. May I suggest you and your wife just take a little time and open the Book of Mormon and do some reading together. What ever the problem is with your wife not wanting to attend church may have more to do with you than maybe some other things. Middle aged women get that way and I think you know what I mean. You may not have done anything wrong but just be there every morning when she gets up. Even if she isn't willing, do the reading yourself. Go to church even without her and be active in the temple opening. She needs a good example and the benefits of activity can keep you sane. Ask other High Priests about their experiences with wives at this time of life. I promise you, you are not alone. Edited April 9, 2011 by jlf9999
Guest SisterofJared Posted April 9, 2011 Report Posted April 9, 2011 Look I have been distressed by the splitting of our ward. If the church truly is your "church family" it hurts. But the gospel is still true. So you swallow the hurt, and you move on. Do you know that even though YOU didn't know your ward was going to be dissolved, the Lord knew. Perhaps he called you to work in that temple parking lot just to help comfort you?? I've noticed that just walking on the temple grounds brings a huge feeling of peace, of comfort and joy. Perhaps a Loving Father was preparing a way for you to find comfort through that experience. Perhaps he did this for you, or even for your wife, who would also benefit from the peace and comfort and joy that comes with you into your home. In your new ward, there WILL be people who are hungry for fellowship. Find them and reach out to them. If your wife won't go to church, go without her. What returns to your home with you will bless and help you both. Best wishes brother, I will pray for your comfort, and that of your wife. Your new church family will one day be as sweet as your former one.
Wingnut Posted April 9, 2011 Report Posted April 9, 2011 Actually I think you are being silly about the entire situation. Ward boundaries change. Time to get over it.That's pretty much what I've been thinking the entire time, too. Everyone seemed so sympathetic though, and I didn't want to deal with the backlash of a realistic point of view. Thanks for finally saying it.
estradling75 Posted April 9, 2011 Report Posted April 9, 2011 Now that there as been more more people telling you to wake up I feel comfortable adding my two bits. Be a man... Or more importantly be a priesthood holder. You have a conflict. Take it to the Lord, and get his instruction. (assuming of course don't already know what it is) Then lead the way the Lord would have you lead. If you can't convince your wife to do the right thing with persuasion and long suffering, then lead by example.
The_Phoenix Posted April 9, 2011 Author Report Posted April 9, 2011 Frankly I would lose respect for a Stake President that would mention anything that he was probably asked to not discuss at that time. Best friends or not.Sorry for having an opinion; don’t worry already cancelled this morning, I am not going to do it.
The_Phoenix Posted April 9, 2011 Author Report Posted April 9, 2011 Now that there as been more more people telling you to wake up I feel comfortable adding my two bits.Be a man... Or more importantly be a priesthood holder. You have a conflict. Take it to the Lord, and get his instruction. (assuming of course don't already know what it is)Then lead the way the Lord would have you lead. If you can't convince your wife to do the right thing with persuasion and long suffering, then lead by example.No thanks; I am a man, an old one. I have just lost faith.
The_Phoenix Posted April 9, 2011 Author Report Posted April 9, 2011 Look I have been distressed by the splitting of our ward. If the church truly is your "church family" it hurts. But the gospel is still true. So you swallow the hurt, and you move on.Perhaps someday; but there are other factors. so for now I am taking a rest.
The_Phoenix Posted April 9, 2011 Author Report Posted April 9, 2011 I was going to reply quite harshly to wake you up a little and tell you to get over it but anatess did it first. But I have to say....I find the whole thing absolutely ridiculous Thank you.
The_Phoenix Posted April 9, 2011 Author Report Posted April 9, 2011 mormonmusic, you are a good man. I am struggling to see this from Pheonix's side.Indeed thank you.
john doe Posted April 10, 2011 Report Posted April 10, 2011 I think you need to figure out what you believe in. Do you have a testimony of the gospel, or do you just have a testimony of your old ward which is now suddenly not the same? What, exactly, bothers you so much about your new ward that makes you think that your leaders are not men of God? Have you taken any positive steps to resolve those feelings?
The_Phoenix Posted April 10, 2011 Author Report Posted April 10, 2011 I think you need to figure out what you believe in. Do you have a testimony of the gospel, or do you just have a testimony of your old ward which is now suddenly not the same? What, exactly, bothers you so much about your new ward that makes you think that your leaders are not men of God? Have you taken any positive steps to resolve those feelings?I may not like it happened, and I love the church; but I am not going without my wife.
john doe Posted April 10, 2011 Report Posted April 10, 2011 I may not like it happened, and I love the church; but I am not going without my wife.Fair enough. Now, what are you doing to help her gain a testimony of the gospel and its leaders?
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