Some non LDS say I should call my son home from his mission.

[The_Phoenix]

Because I have expressed my doubts on other boards, that I am a hypocrite for not calling my son home from his mission. I explained I will always be a Mormon, I am just going trough a tough time, depression and have doubts.

Am I being a hypocrite?

[Jenamarie]

No. Your testimony isn't your son's. I don't see why your struggling in the church should have any baring on your ADULT son's participating in a mission for the church that he has his own, independent testimony of.

[Jennarator]

I agree with Jenamarie!

[The_Phoenix]

No. Your testimony isn't your son's. I don't see why your struggling in the church should have any baring on your ADULT son's participating in a mission for the church that he has his own, independent testimony of.

There is currently a thread running on an apologetic questioning the Virginity of Mary, and many say it does not matter. Where are we heading?

[FunkyTown]

There is currently a thread running on an apologetic questioning the Virginity of Mary, and many say it does not matter. Where are we heading?

Totally separate threads. Someone questioning the virginity of Mary is not the same thing as someone saying your son should not be on a mission because you are having doubts.

For that matter - If your son were having doubts and you had faith, would you force him to go on a mission? As soon as you realize that his mission has nothing to do with your faith, things will get better.

Also: Do not judge the heading of the church with the beliefs of a few, not even if they are very vocal about their beliefs.

Unless the Prophet himself starts questioning the virginity of Mary.

[JudoMinja]

As others have already said, your son is on a mission because of HIS testimony. It is his decision whether he wants to stay out there or come back, and if he decides he really wants to come back nobody will stop him.

Your faith is your faith. Your son's faith is your son's faith. Even if you were to some day decide you don't believe in this church anymore, would that mean you should tell your son not to believe anymore? Does it make you a hypocrite for raising him in the church? Of course not. You did what you thought best at the time, and you just changed your mind later. Your son is a grown man now and can decide for himself whether or not he believes in the church no matter how you raised him.

[slamjet]

Because if you have doubts and you call your son home from his mission, you will be:

1) Trying to control his belief to match yours.

2) You want him to join you in your doubts so that you can feel justified.

3) You fear that He's not a child anymore subject to your rules and demands and are unable to cope with that.

This is about you, not him. Those who are telling you to bring him home are wanting you to make it about you saving your family and not only you leaving the Church, but forcing your family with you so. That way you will not only feel you made the right decision, but can justify and comfort yourself that you are not the only one who feels that way. Also, it's a control thing. You can't control how you feel, so you will find something or someone you can latch onto to try to give yourself a feeling of confidence and control. When, in fact, you will have imposed your own set of beliefs on someone else who may and most likely will resent it for years and years to come.

[Wingnut]

Frankly, it's not your decision to "call" your son home from his mission. It's his decision to come home or stay. He's a big boy.

[Dravin]

So every part member family who has children out on missions are hypocrites? If you saw the Church as some evil hell bent organization I could understand not wanting to fiscally support your son's mission but you haven't expressed doubts anywhere in that league. And if you had, finances would be the extent of your ability to 'call' your son home, and I suspect if you were contributing and you stopped that others in the Church would pick up the difference.

You aren't being a hypocrite, the other people are being idiots. What are you gonna do? Spank him and drag him home?

Edited April 29, 2011 by Dravin

[The_Phoenix]

Frankly, it's not your decision to "call" your son home from his mission. It's his decision to come home or stay. He's a big boy.

He is an obedient young man and would do what I tell him. I would not do such a thing, I just wanted opinions of those calling me hypocritical for not telling him to come home. I “will” overcome my doubts, the only question is when?

[Backroads]

Why WOULD you call your son home? Cant' think of any reason to. Do the folks on the other boards not realize that your son is an adult and can do what he wants?

[Dravin]

He is an obedient young man and would do what I tell him.

Matthew 10:37. I would hope your son if told to go contrary to what he believes God has commanded him/desires of him would tell you to shove off. More politely of course but all the same.

[Wingnut]

I “will” overcome my doubts, the only question is when?

Based on your posting history on this board, I'd say that's up to you. You need to make up your mind, and when you do, then a lot of your problems (or perceived problems),including doubts, will resolve themselves.

[Suzie]

He is an obedient young man and would do what I tell him. I would not do such a thing, I just wanted opinions of those calling me hypocritical for not telling him to come home. I “will” overcome my doubts, the only question is when?

Well whoever says you are hypocritical for not "calling him back" (based on your doubts) are just plain idiots. Your son is a man, not a little boy.

[pam]

Even parents who are non LDS and have no intention of joining the church have sent and supported children on missions. More importantly it's supporting your child in what HE/SHE feels is important in their life. In this case a mission. Calling a child home based on ones own personal feelings would be just selfish.

[bytebear]

As to the question of hypocrisy. I don't think you are a hypocrite. I do think you would be a horrible and rotten person if you chose to try to destroy the faith of others (including your son) because you have doubts. It would be just as bad as if someone converts to the LDS faith and then feels they must tell their family that they are all evil and wrong and "calls" them away from their religious duties.

[Mute]

Unless your son doesn't believe in what he's doing and is only going on a mission for you alone, I wouldn't bother calling him and asking him to come home. If he wants to go for him, why not let him? Do you honestly feel that he would quit his mission if you told him you no longer believe or are doubting? If he quit because of that, then his faith would be in you and not in the lds faith. You do what ever you think is right. Personally, I'd let him stay and do what he believes is right.