Do you believe in being "destined" to be together?

[zil]

Welcome, @ericdav!  To be blunt, you're overthinking this.

Quote

1 Nephi 3:7 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

If there really is one specific woman on the planet the Lord would have you marry, he is not going to send her to a place where you can't find her.  Unless you are filthy rich and can hire an army to go interview every female on the planet, it's pretty safe to assume she's not so far away.  So just start dating.

Do what the sailor in this general conference talk did - inquire, research, think, inquire some more, rinse, repeat.  Eventually, you'll figure it out.

(Given that GAs have repeatedly said there is no "soul mate", I think it entirely possible that your PB should be interpreted as "the Lord knows what you're going to do and who you're going to decide to marry", so you should get on with doing what you're going to do and deciding what you're going to decide.  To have the most happiness and success throughout the process, try magnifying your callings, priesthood, talents, and such in the process - obey first, blessings second.)

[Overwatch]

2 hours ago, ericdav said:

all i know is im scared to death to make a wrong choice if it is destiny or pre-destined im screwed if i make the wrong person, my patriarchal blessing literally says god has chosen her for me already and she is being prepared which isnt good news for me because I DONT KNOW WHO SHE IS, GREAT IF GOD KNOWS BUT IF I DONT CHOOSE RIGHT im gonna be cast out of gods kingdom. it says i need to find her but great there are millions of women and i dont even get a clue, let alone a map, i need massive help because this literally has caused me to be depressed, suicidal, confused, anxious you name it and ive felt it. any comments will help. im 23 and no job no direction, no clue where to look.

Haha.  I can't tell if this is a troll post.

If that is what your blessing says you can take it literally or you can take it as a general sweet blanket statement. The Lord knowing you are anxious or the Patriarch knowing you are a worry wart, they wanted to assure you that you will find a loving spouse. Grunt said it perfect

1 hour ago, Grunt said:

No, you date 1.  Then you date 1.  Then you date 1.

Until you find one that fulfills your desires and ultimately your blessing.

1 hour ago, MormonGator said:

Lighten up! Have fun! Go out with different girls. If it works, great. If it doesn't, you move on

^ Gator gave some great advice.

If you need more help PRAY!  You will be alright. I also wrote a piece you can look at

 

 

[Just_A_Guy]

24 minutes ago, Overwatch said:

Haha.  I can't tell if this is a troll post.

In advice threads we generally try to take a poster’s expressed concerns at face value.   

[Overwatch]

1 minute ago, Just_A_Guy said:

In advice threads we generally try to take a poster’s expressed concerns at face value.   

I believe you would. You have a good spirit about you. I am too used to the internets with trololololos  C :

[zil]

3 hours ago, ericdav said:

im 23 and no job no direction, no clue where to look.

PS: Get a job.  Choose a direction (for your life).  These will make it far easier to convince a woman to pursue a serious relationship with you.  They will also make you feel better about yourself, which will boost your confidence, which women like (as long as you don't get all cocky and arrogant about it).

Find a passion, pursue goals, accomplish things worth doing.  Can't think of such things?  Go serve someone in need.

[Guest MormonGator]

2 hours ago, BeccaKirstyn said:

@MormonGator, agreed!! 

I recently chatted with a man who said he refused to take women out on first dates if he isn't good friends with them beforehand. He's willing to "chill" with these girls he doesn't know, with his "bros". But he won't go on a first date with them because "getting to know them is so boring in a date setting". I was just like....*facepalm*. That's the whole point of the date! And you're doing it wrong if you think it's boring. 

It's probably because he thinks he's found a way to "date" women a not worry about being rejected. Even I've been rejected before (I know, shocking!) and if I've been rejected before, it  can happen to everyone. It's not nearly as soul shattering as people think it to be. It's a little awkward for a 10 seconds, then you move on. 

[Overwatch]

3 minutes ago, zil said:

PS: Get a job.  Choose a direction (for your life).  These will make it far easier to convince a woman to pursue a serious relationship with you.  They will also make you feel better about yourself, which will boost your confidence, which women like (as long as you don't get all cocky and arrogant about it).

Find a passion, pursue goals, accomplish things worth doing.  Can't think of such things?  Go serve someone in need.

^ This. I agree

[Guest MormonGator]

51 minutes ago, Overwatch said:

^ Gator gave some great advice.

He always does. 

[Overwatch]

Just now, MormonGator said:

He always does. 

HAHAHA 

[Vort]

 

[Lost Boy]

5 hours ago, ericdav said:

all i know is im scared to death to make a wrong choice if it is destiny or pre-destined im screwed if i make the wrong person, my patriarchal blessing literally says god has chosen her for me already and she is being prepared which isnt good news for me because I DONT KNOW WHO SHE IS, GREAT IF GOD KNOWS BUT IF I DONT CHOOSE RIGHT im gonna be cast out of gods kingdom. it says i need to find her but great there are millions of women and i dont even get a clue, let alone a map, i need massive help because this literally has caused me to be depressed, suicidal, confused, anxious you name it and ive felt it. any comments will help. im 23 and no job no direction, no clue where to look.

You are overthinking this. first, you need to get a job. Then you need to start dating. go out and have some fun. Fall in love with a girl. Ask her to marry you. The end. Oh, and make sure you love her for the rest of your life. This isn't rocket science.

 whoever you find the to love and to marry Will be the woman that the Lord has prepared for you.

[Latter-Day Marriage]

My take on it:

http://latterday-marriage.blogspot.com/2013/06/soul-mates-by-choice.html