Guest Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 I suppose we agree more than I think we do, then. I won't wear shirts two sizes too big, but I also won't wear button-ups because I know that more than likely, it will gap or sometimes even pop open without me being aware because of my chest size. My smaller-chested friends don't have that problem. So yeah, I sometimes have to buy different things than they might in my effort to be modest. I don't know that I agree with the point that larger-chested women are more apt to be tempted to flaunt what they have, though. I think that across the board, women who are prone to that temptation or tendency just are, whatever their size. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dash77 Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 I suppose we agree more than I think we do, then. I won't wear shirts two sizes too big, but I also won't wear button-ups because I know that more than likely, it will gap or sometimes even pop open without me being aware because of my chest size. My smaller-chested friends don't have that problem. So yeah, I sometimes have to buy different things than they might in my effort to be modest. I don't know that I agree with the point that larger-chested women are more apt to be tempted to flaunt what they have, though. I think that across the board, women who are prone to that temptation or tendency just are, whatever their size.Eowyn:Because topics such as these can stir some emotion, I think its easy for all people involved – including me – to overreact. I think that in many ways, the key posters in this thread – you, Suzie, Backroads, and I (along with some others) are in many ways closer to agreement than disagreement. Now in relation to the last part of your post, I am not sure if woman across the board are prone to having the temptation of pleasure related to the male gaze. Perhaps I am off base, but I think the temptation would be greater related to women who have larger breasts because sadly there is a male disease to be enticed by larger breasts. It’s sad, it highlights pathetic natural man tendencies in men and I think many women who have smaller breast get ridiculed and humiliated much more than the average person thinks. There is a reason why breast implants are one of the most popular cosmetic surgeries.With that said, I am not suggesting that women who are smaller are not prone to this also, but I think the temptation affects women who are larger more so than women who are smaller. It would be fascinating to hear from women who have experience both -- such as a women who due to hormonal changes had breast growth in middle ages (30s) who went from smaller or average to larger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 Dash, to be honest with you, you completely confuse me at times. One thing is evident: You have a deep interest in boobs and when I say that is because a big chunk of your posts are about boobs, cleavage, size, or whether women with breasts love the attention they get, or how women with small breasts may feel, etc. And you know what? It's just fine if that's your interest... However, when you start reading way too much in some posts or wondering if this smilie means a D cup or if this is how men look when looking at a women chest then you're thinking wayyyyy too much about them. Really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spartan117 Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 At this point I feel like I should be paying $2.99 a minute to be reading this thread. If I can move away from breasts and cleavage for a minute .... So I have noticed women who wear skirts that are so short when they sit down their garments are not only "showing" but coming out well past the bottom of their skirts. Now I think there is a "culture" to dress and appearance aside from what is actual policy, and I accept that. When I first converted I wore jeans at times because I had no church clothes and I'm a firm believer that it is no one's business what other people wear to church. That being said, I kinda have a problem with this. Thoughts? Advice? Personal experiences? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 At this point I feel like I should be paying $2.99 a minute to be reading this thread. If I can move away from breasts and cleavage for a minute .... So I have noticed women who wear skirts that are so short when they sit down their garments are not only "showing" but coming out well past the bottom of their skirts. Now I think there is a "culture" to dress and appearance aside from what is actual policy, and I accept that. When I first converted I wore jeans at times because I had no church clothes and I'm a firm believer that it is no one's business what other people wear to church. That being said, I kinda have a problem with this. Thoughts? Advice? Personal experiences?I've noticed it too, and I have a big problem with it. I think when women purchase and wear clothing, if there's any question, they should do the sit/stretch/reach/bend test to make sure garments are covered all the time, not just when standing at attention in front of the mirror. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spartan117 Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 I think one of the reasons it bothers me is that I look over in Sunday school and can't help but noticing her skirt covering next to nothing and her garments are hanging out and I feel "bad" or guilty because I even noticed it. Which says some things about me, maybe. But I still don't know where that line is. I don't judge or make assumptions about what kind of person she is because of this either. It's just awkward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 I think one of the reasons it bothers me is that I look over in Sunday school and can't help but noticing her skirt covering next to nothing and her garments are hanging out and I feel "bad" or guilty because I even noticed it. Which says some things about me, maybe. But I still don't know where that line is. I don't judge or make assumptions about what kind of person she is because of this either. It's just awkward.Two things come to mind:1. Make an effort to sit somewhere you can't see her. 2. Ask a sister you trust to broach the subject with said sister. Normally I'd say if you have an issue take it up with them directly, but I don't know the nature of your relationship with her and we are talking about her underwear, not exactly something you'd want random people of the opposite gender approaching you with. Probably not something you'd want random people of the same gender approaching you with but if anything might change someone has to broach the subject. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 2. Ask a sister you trust to broach the subject with said sister. Normally I'd say if you have an issue take it up with them directly, but I don't know the nature of your relationship with her and we are talking about her underwear, not exactly something you'd want random people of the opposite gender approaching you with. Probably not something you'd want random people of the same gender approaching you with but if anything might change someone has to broach the subject.I approached a sister once (who I know very well) because her garments were showing a lot. She had a long skirt with a long cut on the side so I thought maybe she didn't realize that it was showing so I quietly whispered to her that her garments were showing (in a nice way of course). She was deeply offended and from that day, if I see other sisters with the same problem I just look away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 She was deeply offended and from that day, if I see other sisters with the same problem I just look away.Looking away is of course good advice in a literal sense, particularly with inter-gender modesty issues but I'm taking it you mean it in the "just leave the issue alone" meaning. If it was just an issue of honoring temple covenants by wearing the garment properly I'd be inclined to just say let it lie as that's between her (and spouse if applicable), the Lord, and her priesthood leadership, but it sounds like it's a modesty issue at heart which has a wider effect.People who are acting inappropriately aren't unknown for getting offended by having it pointed out, tis a fairly common defensive mechanism even when the person is being as nice, sincere and tactful as possible in broaching the subject. If they choose to get offended despite someone doing their best to be Christlike in discussing an issue with them than such is their prerogative. *shrug* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 I approached a sister once (who I know very well) because her garments were showing a lot. She had a long skirt with a long cut on the side so I thought maybe she didn't realize that it was showing so I quietly whispered to her that her garments were showing (in a nice way of course). She was deeply offended and from that day, if I see other sisters with the same problem I just look away.I'm awful. When I see this sort of situation my first thought is "Did she get dressed in the dark and not look in the mirror?" Though I do guess in that situation I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dash77 Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 I'm awful. When I see this sort of situation my first thought is "Did she get dressed in the dark and not look in the mirror?" Though I do guess in that situation I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt...I always think we should error on the side of giving the benefit of the doubt. Further, church is a hospital for sinners and we have to be careful not to judge – compassion is always a better area to error on. At the same time – and what makes this difficult – is that silence is also a response and can be used as a way to support. We had a situation in our ward where an YM counselor, who had breast implant – who clearly was larger and on the line related to modestly, -- was negatively affecting some of the young women in out ward. My point, it’s a complex and blurred area and I’m not always sure what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Posted August 23, 2011 Report Share Posted August 23, 2011 We had a situation in our ward where an YM counselor, who had breast implant – who clearly was larger and on the line related to modestly, -- was negatively affecting some of the young women in out ward. My point, it’s a complex and blurred area and I’m not always sure what to do.What??? a YM counselor having a breast implant? Geez...you really see some crazy things these days... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dash77 Posted August 23, 2011 Report Share Posted August 23, 2011 What??? a YM counselor having a breast implant? Geez...you really see some crazy things these days...Sorry, I meant a counselor in the young women's program. Yikees! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mirancs8 Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 We've been married 20 years. She didn't start dressing like this until about 5 years ago. Unlikely I would have been attracted to her had she dressed that way when we met and dated.Maybe she's dressing like this to seek attention from other men... possibly because of the lack of attention from you? Maybe? I don't know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy2Tone Posted October 10, 2011 Report Share Posted October 10, 2011 Most of us guys should be so lucky...............:)Here here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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