The Role(s) of Women in the Church?

[LeKook]

Hey everybody,

I'm a newbie here and recently baptized and confirmed, but that doesn't mean I know everything I need to know, LOL!!! So here's my question (I'll try not to run on too long):

Men in the church can work towards the priesthood roles within the church. Women can work towards... what?

I have no children, so the traditional take of childbearing and child rearing don't apply in my case. I'm married, yes, but am almost 50, so not likely to be having children, LOL!!! My spouse is doesn't belong to the church, he's staunchly Catholic.

For some reason I have it in my mind that this is really all that women can aspire to within the church. You know, nurturing roles. And I freely admit, this view I have may be incorrect.

Just trying to figure out where I fit in. :)

Hope some of this question makes sense, to someone, somewhere! :)

[applepansy]

I would like to recommend Sheri Dew's books and talks. Most can be found at Deseret Book.

Sis. Dew is amazing. She's single. She has been General Relief Society president among other callings. In her books and talks she answers your questions better than I ever could.

[LeKook]

Hi Applepansy, thanks for the suggestion, I'll check them out. I hope folks here understand why I'm asking about this, in no way am I trying to demean the roles of women who have children, etc. It's just that well, I don't. My interactions with other women in my church are a bit awkward because of it. Sometimes I leave meetings feeling like an eccentric old woman, LOL!!!

Edited September 15, 2011 by LeKook

[bytebear]

Well, what do you want to do? I am sure if you worked with the Bishop, he'd get you doing something. Make yourself known and that you want to contribute, and you will find plenty to do.

[jerome1232]

an eccentric old woman, LOL!!!

You say that as if it is a bad thing!

[LeKook]

Hi Bytebear! I plan to do that, you're right I should. :)

[LeKook]

LOL Jerome well I guess it depends on whom you ask! I guess being an eccentric old woman isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I can't come up with a single instance where being one would be useful to those in my ward!!!

[bytebear]

LOL Jerome well I guess it depends on whom you ask! I guess being an eccentric old woman isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I can't come up with a single instance where being one would be useful to those in my ward!!!

Oh, I don't know. Some of my favorite primary teachers were eccentric old women.

[pam]

LeKook, can I join your club of eccentric old women? Sounds like I would thoroughly enjoy your company. Welcome to the site.

[Gwen]

If you are looking for something to help you build your testimony and "progress" as goals toward the priesthood does for the men I would suggest looking into the personal progress program.

Yes that is the program for the young women but there are opportunities for any sister who would like to do the program and earn the awards.

It would be a wonderful way for you to better explore the gospel and your value as a woman in the gospel. You can officially work with the young women's leader and mentor a yw that does not have the home support or just use the resources and do it unofficially (making all the changes you want) for yourself. You do not have to be called into yw's to help out and participate in personal progress.

I'm not sure if it's common for others outside of yw's to work on it so you may get some odd looks when you request it. Show them the back where it talks about others wanting to do the program, I can't imagine you wouldn't receive some support.

Participation of Mothers

Mothers are welcome to participate with young women in earning the Young Womanhood Recognition. Mothers work from their own Personal Progress book and may earn the recognition along with their daughter. It is recommended that a daughter earn her recognition before or along with her mother.

Mothers may complete the same requirements as their daughters, including:

• • Attend sacrament meeting regularly (where possible).
• • Live the standards in For the Strength of Youth.
• • Complete the value experiences and value project for each of the eight values.
• • Keep a personal journal.
• • Read the Book of Mormon regularly.
• • Record her testimony of the Savior Jesus Christ.

Mothers may select different options for the elective value experiences and the value projects from their daughters. The experiences and projects may be signed and dated by their daughter, their spouse, a Young Women leader, or another adult. The bishop verifies that the requirements have been completed. Recognition and the purchase of recognition materials should be coordinated with Young Women leaders and the bishopric.

Personal Progress Requirements for Others Who Desire to Work on the Program

Other women who desire to participate in and complete Personal Progress may do so by completing the same requirements as young women and by assisting a young woman with a portion of her Personal Progress. (See requirements for mothers on page 92.)

[applepansy]

I'm an eccentric old women!!! I love it. I've even considered joining the Red Hat Club. :)

Gwen, that's a really good suggestion. The personal progress program is great for anyone of any age.

[RMGuy]

Not sure if this is what you are looking for by way of feedback or not, but I think too many times we seem to equate "progression" with callings. Since you mentioned priesthood progression I will use it as an analogy. Many times we can fall into the trap of thinking, we'll I've never been called to a bishopric or the high council, or into the leadership of a quorum. Similarly we might think that I've never been ordained a high priest so I haven't progressed as far as I would like.

For me, progression is a much more personal experience. Am I a better person that I was yesterday? Am I open to truth and understanding? Am I doing things because I was told to, or because I understand and want to do them? In short, am I being refined into the type of person that I eventually want to be?

For me, there is no purpose in "checking boxes" so that I can get a temple recommend and be sealed with my family for eternity, if I haven't spent time "checking the boxes" to build the relationship with my family so that they will actually want to be with me for eternity.

For me the church is not about callings, positions, or even commandments and obedience. For me it is about eliminating from my own life the attributes and attitudes that I don't want to be there, and cultivating the behaviors and values that I want to develop. Those things can't be measured outwardly or even judged well by others. They are instead between me and God. I measure progession on a very personal yardstick, sometimes I grow by leaps and bounds, othertimes there seems to be little progess, sometimes I even regress.

I don't let others determine what, where, or how I should be. Don't feel like your role has to be define that your only role can be or should be as a wife, or mother. Just because you are a woman doesn't mean you have or don't have a nurturing role. You were given agency, and you have amazing potential. Don't allow yourself to be confined into a narrowly defined box. Eternal progression is about bursting the borders of that box, and becoming someone extraordinary!

-RM

Edited September 15, 2011 by RMGuy

[LeKook]

LeKook, can I join your club of eccentric old women? Sounds like I would thoroughly enjoy your company. Welcome to the site.

LOL!!! I'm so eccentric I might just create my own club, and yes, you are welcome to join!!!

[LeKook]

Thanks everyone for the great suggestions -- I was not quite sure my question made sense. I was feeling a bit pinched by what I kept imagining to be pre-defined roles for women, and the realization that as an individual I don't fit any of those roles (that, plus I'm a bit, um, KOOKY, thus the nickname "LeKook"). Most folks who spend any time with me figure I must have been a standup comic at some point!!

Prior to being baptized I was a Jehovah's Witness so I don't do well being pre-defined or being encouraged to give up what I see as my own God-given personality. I've always been piqued when I'm told I'm too lighthearted and that I should ask God to not be the way I am. And all I keep thinking is, "But he created me this way!!"

[Traveler]

Hey everybody,

I'm a newbie here and recently baptized and confirmed, but that doesn't mean I know everything I need to know, LOL!!! So here's my question (I'll try not to run on too long):

Men in the church can work towards the priesthood roles within the church. Women can work towards... what?

I have no children, so the traditional take of childbearing and child rearing don't apply in my case. I'm married, yes, but am almost 50, so not likely to be having children, LOL!!! My spouse is doesn't belong to the church, he's staunchly Catholic.

For some reason I have it in my mind that this is really all that women can aspire to within the church. You know, nurturing roles. And I freely admit, this view I have may be incorrect.

Just trying to figure out where I fit in. :)

Hope some of this question makes sense, to someone, somewhere! :)

Callings in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are an interesting gospel study by themselves. My wife likes to watch a TV program called “Runway”. The program has an interesting saying that applies to LDS callings. It is “One day you are in and the next day you are out!” If there is anything to describe church callings as any kind of progression - that saying does it best.

Having served for many years in many prestigious callings - the truth be known - though I was thankful to serve, I was also thankful to be released. Having served in bishoprics I have yet to meet or even hear of a Mormon bishop that is doing a poor enough job that I would rather be that bishop myself.

I have had two callings I would rate as my favorite. The #1 was primary teacher. I asked to teach a particular primary class because it was a so-called problem class - in particular one boy. My first day in class I say this youth as I was at his age and I actually broke down seeing how he was being treated by others in the primary. We established an immediate repot and years later I still talk in length with this individual each week at church as he is part of the young men’s program.

I am not a touchy feely kind of person. My wife and kids think it is funny to force me from my comfort zone in public with hugs. Or they hand me one of their crying babes telling me to cuddle the child. Theirs is a very sick sense of humor. However, one of my primary children was very shy and never said anything before or after class. One Sunday at the end of church I was conversing in the hall when this wonderful little girl suddenly hugged my leg and said something like I was the best friend ever and then ran off. I was shocked and embarrassed beyond belief - my wife thought it both funny and touching - as did I.

My point to all this? If you are lucky you may have callings of great honor - but if you are really lucky - you will get to teach for a time in the primary.

The Traveler

[rameumptom]

We all work towards perfection (Matthew 5:48). We all work towards returning to the Presence of God. We all develop faith in Christ. We all repent. We all receive ordinances of the gospel. We all seek to have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. We serve one another. We develop our personal talents and gifts to increase our ability to bless others. We create joy and bring it to others.

We get off track if we focus too much on men holding priesthood and women only having babies. This is just one portion of what we are. We all have to develop the whole package. That is expressly taught regarding the priesthood in D&C 121:30-46. A man may possess the priesthood (or a woman may be Relief Society president) and use the supposed power of the calling/ordination in an unrighteous way, they lose the power contained therein. Instead, the important key is the righteousness and continual development behind the laying on of hands.

You are single,without kids, elderly and a woman. So find your own options! Go back to college. If you are skilled, teach a class or use the skill to serve. Get on the Internet and take some of the free college courses offered by BYU, Yale, or a ton of other schools. For example: Courses — Open Yale Courses

You can pick up a hobby: bird watching, photography (I do both), fitness, family history, etc.

Finally, a note for Pam: you are NOT eccentric!

[LeKook]

Not sure if this is what you are looking for by way of feedback or not, but I think too many times we seem to equate "progression" with callings. Since you mentioned priesthood progression I will use it as an analogy. Many times we can fall into the trap of thinking, we'll I've never been called to a bishopric or the high council, or into the leadership of a quorum. Similarly we might think that I've never been ordained a high priest so I haven't progressed as far as I would like.

Not so much equating progression with callings as being concerned that whatever is unique about me is going to get overlooked and I'm just going to be put into some calling that is so not who I am that being willing to fulfill future callings will be put into question.

For me, progression is a much more personal experience. Am I a better person that I was yesterday? Am I open to truth and understanding? Am I doing things because I was told to, or because I understand and want to do them? In short, am I being refined into the type of person that I eventually want to be?

I agree - and my concern across the board is that folks are not taking the time to get to know me, and I'm feeling "rushed". I already have a calling (received the same day I was baptized), assisting the person who handles compassionate care in our area, and I'm fine with that, it's a starting point, I'm 100% on board with it. :)

For me, there is no purpose in "checking boxes" so that I can get a temple recommend and be sealed with my family for eternity, if I haven't spent time "checking the boxes" to build the relationship with my family so that they will actually want to be with me for eternity.

I already have a limited Temple recommend (1 year, baptisms for the dead only) and have already been involved in doing baptisms for the dead, went for the first time last night. Like you I'm keen on growing and becoming more like Christ, and being obedient to God in my own neck of the woods, so to speak (within my own family, etc.).

For me the church is not about callings, positions, or even commandments and obedience.

So when is it okay, after prayerful thought, to say NO when you're asked to do something you're just not ready to do? I just left a system of belief (Jehovah's Witnesses) that leaves you feeling like a loser whenever you say no to a request. That was part of the many reasons I left the JWs; I'm still emotionally scarred from that experience after 9 years of it and don't want to walk into the same situation, where saying no to a request is tantamount to saying that one is lacking in spiritual maturity, and the person saying no is viewed as a lesser human because they opted to do so.

For me it is about eliminating from my own life the attributes and attitudes that I don't want to be there, and cultivating the behaviors and values that I want to develop. Those things can't be measured outwardly or even judged well by others. They are instead between me and God. I measure progression on a very personal yardstick, sometimes I grow by leaps and bounds, other times there seems to be little progress, sometimes I even regress.

AWESOME viewpoint! Thank you! :)

I don't let others determine what, where, or how I should be. Don't feel like your role has to be define that your only role can be or should be as a wife, or mother. Just because you are a woman doesn't mean you have or don't have a nurturing role. You were given agency, and you have amazing potential. Don't allow yourself to be confined into a narrowly defined box. Eternal progression is about bursting the borders of that box, and becoming someone extraordinary!

I'm willing to allow myself room to grow, and sure, I'll take on some things that are new to me, but I'm just a bit at a loss as to how to get others to realize that I do have some positive qualities about me that might benefit the church and the ministry as a whole. How do I do this?

-LeKook

[LeKook]

If you are looking for something to help you build your testimony and "progress" as goals toward the priesthood does for the men I would suggest looking into the personal progress program.

One of the ladies I met since moving to this area mentioned this to me as a possibility, she also says it's a bit unusual to ask to do this but that no one ever gets turned down. I'll look into it again. :)

[Gwen]

One of the ladies I met since moving to this area mentioned this to me as a possibility, she also says it's a bit unusual to ask to do this but that no one ever gets turned down. I'll look into it again. :)

The only way for it to no longer be unusual is if ppl start asking. lol It was designed into the program for a reason. We need to use the programs the church has given us.

[Madriglace]

An eccentric old lady at almost 50 ... man am I in BIG trouble. I am nearly 58, single, and a life long member of the church (well since I was 8 anyway). I have never turned down a calling or asked to be released from one but that doesn't mean that some of the Bishops couldn't wait to get rid of me either. A couple months ago someone told me that I was intimidating ... can you believe that?

Just be who you are .. that is what you have been given to bring to your brothers and sisters ... and if folks don't like it ... well ... they can just get over it. I say what I think and mean it and if they don't like it ... oh well!

As I said I am single, never been married or had kids but I currently have 10 kids. I teach the teens in Sunday school and love it ... most would rather cut off their arm than work with the teen agers ... we each have our spot that we can grow and be of service ... we just have to look for it and then go for it. You will never be asked to do anything you can't handle and as Pres Eyring (I think) said the Lord magnifies those who magnify their callings. It amazes me what I can do when I rely on the Lord for help.

The Priesthood may be the backbone of the church but the sisters are the heart and soul and stand behind the priesthood reminding them to stand up straight! One saying goes that if you want a job done call the Relief Society. (We had a request in our area for 144 quilts in 2 weeks during a flood here, our stake turned out 1400 in 5 days) Read some of the stories of the early sisters .. those ladies were amazing. Mary Fielding Smith is my all time hero ... or I guess heroine is more correct. That lady had a backbone of steel, an iron will and faith beyond belief.

Just always remember who you are ... a daughter of God and that who you are is who He will use to His purposes. Be the best you you can be.

[Spartan117]

After reading through all the pages in this thread, I'm a little sad that I won't ever get to be an eccentric old woman with a red hat.

[RMGuy]

After reading through all the pages in this thread, I'm a little sad that I won't ever get to be an eccentric old woman with a red hat.

Well you COULD be Spartan, but I think it would be a cause for the revokation of your temple recommend.

-RM

[Spartan117]

Well you COULD be Spartan, but I think it would be a cause for the revokation of your temple recommend.

-RM

I'll ask my bishop about this on Sunday.

[Dravin]

After reading through all the pages in this thread, I'm a little sad that I won't ever get to be an eccentric old woman with a red hat.

If it's any consolation you can reach the status of eccentric old man with a beret.

[Spartan117]

If it's any consolation you can reach the status of eccentric old man with a beret.

I'm going to be an awesome old man. Gonna yell at all those kids on my lawn and wear suspenders