LauraG Posted September 2, 2012 Report Share Posted September 2, 2012 I am the RS chorister and ward choir director. I love music. I love my callings, even though I am burned out, having been in a music calling for most of my 20 years as a member of the church. But the reason I am considering asking for a release isn't because of burnout, even though it's a factor (I specifically asked to NOT be put into a music calling when I moved to this ward, but said I would gladly serve wherever they needed me, which I have, faithfully). The biggest reason is that I am newly pregnant. I generally have wonderful pregnancies, but have this embarrassing condition when I'm pregnant, and it's particularly embarrassing (and much worse) when I'm leading music. My armpits are like sprinklers. I get sweat rings that are about 6" in diameter in each pit, and I've tried every anti-perspirant that there is. Nothing works. I don't know if I really want to tell the Bishop about this condition. I mean, I find it really embarrassing. On the other hand, in previous pregnancies, I have endured being mortified every week from this problem, and I just don't want to live through that embarrassment anymore, especially in a new ward, where everyone hardly knows me. I don't want them to all think of me as the sweating choir director, lol. Is this a valid reason for asking for a release, when every calling and every release is inspired? Shouldn't I just have faith that the Lord knows my needs and will release me or stop my sweat rings? Oh my gosh I am so embarrassed right now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted September 2, 2012 Report Share Posted September 2, 2012 ★☆ I believe this is a valid reason. I would ask to be released, and simply tell the bishop that I have a physical condition brought on by pregnancy, that makes it uncomfortable for me to fulfill my calling. Don't over think it. Do just that. I don't think you'll run into any problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharky Posted September 2, 2012 Report Share Posted September 2, 2012 The initial question, without the explaining of why .... Asking to be released is not wrong, though it is something to be done with a lot of consideration. The thought that kept coming to my mind as I read your post: Maybe there is someone else in the ward that needs the opportunity to learn & grow & gain the confidence that this calling could provide. Granted it's not a calling for just anyone. Do you have an assistant or two? Perhaps the Bishop would be open to calling one or two to help you out not only during your pregnancy but the 1st several weeks after the birth as well & forward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraG Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 3, 2012 I don't have an assistant for either the RS Chorister or the Ward Choir Director job. Interesting idea, but even with an assistant or two, presumably, I would still need to lead on occasion, and that would still be a problem for me. There are so many in our ward who are musically talented. I'm sure someone else can fulfill these jobs. I would be happy to mentor someone into these callings, too, if desired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlimac Posted September 3, 2012 Report Share Posted September 3, 2012 Yes, just do it. My daughter also has this problem even when she's not pregnant. (Well, actually she's only 17 so never has been.) If you find a solution short of surgery, let me know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted September 3, 2012 Report Share Posted September 3, 2012 How awkward! Months before I had my daughter, I started putting pressure on the bishopric that someone else would have to play for the choir for a while because I wouldn't be able to sit on a piano bench for a while and I probably didn't need to explain why. Towards the end, I was having contractions during practice, huffing and puffing about every 5 minutes. Now I'm the choir pianist again. I've also been the Primary pianist for a little over 2 1/2 years now. Let's face it. We're going to have music callings forever. Well, I did have one non-music calling but it was in addition to my 4 music callings at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraG Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 3, 2012 Well good! Thanks for the encouragement. I think I will just ask to be released. I would hope that I can stick with the choir calling until after the Christmas program, but let me think... how bad will my problem be by that time... I don't know. I'll talk to the bishop about it. Thanks everyone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackmarch Posted September 4, 2012 Report Share Posted September 4, 2012 I am the RS chorister and ward choir director. I love music. I love my callings, even though I am burned out, having been in a music calling for most of my 20 years as a member of the church. But the reason I am considering asking for a release isn't because of burnout, even though it's a factor (I specifically asked to NOT be put into a music calling when I moved to this ward, but said I would gladly serve wherever they needed me, which I have, faithfully). The biggest reason is that I am newly pregnant. I generally have wonderful pregnancies, but have this embarrassing condition when I'm pregnant, and it's particularly embarrassing (and much worse) when I'm leading music. My armpits are like sprinklers. I get sweat rings that are about 6" in diameter in each pit, and I've tried every anti-perspirant that there is. Nothing works. I don't know if I really want to tell the Bishop about this condition. I mean, I find it really embarrassing. On the other hand, in previous pregnancies, I have endured being mortified every week from this problem, and I just don't want to live through that embarrassment anymore, especially in a new ward, where everyone hardly knows me. I don't want them to all think of me as the sweating choir director, lol. Is this a valid reason for asking for a release, when every calling and every release is inspired? Shouldn't I just have faith that the Lord knows my needs and will release me or stop my sweat rings? Oh my gosh I am so embarrassed right now!Even Christ asked if there was any way to not have to take the bitter cup. I'm pretty sure its allright to ask.The hard part is if we're told to stick with it.Altho in this case I don't see why the bishop wouldnt give that break to you. If i were in your shoes i'd tell him that the pregnancy is making it really difficult to do your calling and ask if there was any to get a break for a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarginOfError Posted September 4, 2012 Report Share Posted September 4, 2012 When a calling consistently causes you more stress and anxiety than it causes you joy in service, it's time to be released. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMGuy Posted September 4, 2012 Report Share Posted September 4, 2012 Yes. You can always ask to be released. At the end of the day every calling is a volunteer position. -RM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted September 4, 2012 Report Share Posted September 4, 2012 I haven't read through everything. Just ask to be released. There is not need to explain other than your calling is difficult to do at this time. If the Bishop asks for more specifics all you would need to say is "I'm pregnant." End of discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
classylady Posted September 4, 2012 Report Share Posted September 4, 2012 I am the RS chorister and ward choir director. I love music. I love my callings, even though I am burned out, having been in a music calling for most of my 20 years as a member of the church. But the reason I am considering asking for a release isn't because of burnout, even though it's a factor (I specifically asked to NOT be put into a music calling when I moved to this ward, but said I would gladly serve wherever they needed me, which I have, faithfully). The biggest reason is that I am newly pregnant. I generally have wonderful pregnancies, but have this embarrassing condition when I'm pregnant, and it's particularly embarrassing (and much worse) when I'm leading music. My armpits are like sprinklers. I get sweat rings that are about 6" in diameter in each pit, and I've tried every anti-perspirant that there is. Nothing works. I don't know if I really want to tell the Bishop about this condition. I mean, I find it really embarrassing. On the other hand, in previous pregnancies, I have endured being mortified every week from this problem, and I just don't want to live through that embarrassment anymore, especially in a new ward, where everyone hardly knows me. I don't want them to all think of me as the sweating choir director, lol. Is this a valid reason for asking for a release, when every calling and every release is inspired? Shouldn't I just have faith that the Lord knows my needs and will release me or stop my sweat rings? Oh my gosh I am so embarrassed right now!You've been given some great advice. I don't have much to add except please don't feel guilty about asking to be released. The Lord appreciates the service that you have already given. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted September 4, 2012 Report Share Posted September 4, 2012 Well good! Thanks for the encouragement. I think I will just ask to be released. I would hope that I can stick with the choir calling until after the Christmas program, but let me think... how bad will my problem be by that time... I don't know. I'll talk to the bishop about it. Thanks everyone!Good for you! In my world, pregnant women are bringing a life into the world. They are the queens! So....they get whatever they want! :)It's ok to say "when" and to take care of ourselves by saying no to a calling or asking to be released. Inside living lives of service and consecration there is always room for self care. I think it's good to explain again to the bishop that you've had your music experience and you'd like develop some other parts of yourself. That alone is grounds to say "when". And I don't think we should feel guilt about taking care of ourselves in this way. This kind of guilt can't be what God wants. We are the experts on our own lives. Sometimes God commands and if so, then certainly we should obey. But often God leaves decisions up to us. Like he did with the Brother of Jared. "You can't have windows or fire. Hm...what are you gonna do?" He trusts us, you know? And bishops aren't oracles. They don't know everything about our situations nor do they have time to think about it. I've had a few situations where I've had to nudge my bishop/SP this way or that either because my needs were a certain way or because I simply did/didn't feel the spirit. It's always served me to talk about it with them about it.Best wishes with your pregnancy and your convo with the bish! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraG Posted September 6, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2012 Wow, what a lot of support! Thanks to everyone who responded. I need to make an appointment with the bishop now. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted September 7, 2012 Report Share Posted September 7, 2012 I haven't read through everything.Just ask to be released. There is not need to explain other than your calling is difficult to do at this time. If the Bishop asks for more specifics all you would need to say is "I'm pregnant." End of discussion.I disagree that the condition of pregnancy dictates the "end of discussion." Since when is pregnancy a reason for being released? Pregnancy that causes you to be on bedrest? Sure. (My cousin-in-law's wife planned a RS Super Saturday from her hospital bed, though...) Pregnancy that causes you to have to visit the ER upwards of one time during gestation? Probably so. Pregnancy that causes extreme sweat in the armpits combined with a calling as chorister? Definitely embarrassing and understandable.It's not uncommon for my ward to have 16 babies born each year (four years ago it was 18). It's also not been uncommon for these women to be released right before their babies are born, which causes a huge wave of chaos as positions open and are filled and cause other openings, etc. I had a baby last November, and I was serving as ward YW president at the time. Knowing that my bishop had a tendency toward that, I told him that I fully trusted my presidency, that they were highly capable of filling in for me, and that I'd be in regular contact with them regularly during that first month after my daughter was born. I assured him (in no uncertain terms...I might possibly have used the words, "don't you dare") that he need not release me simply because I was pregnant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraG Posted September 9, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2012 Yes, I don't like being thought of as being in a weakened state when I am pregnant. In fact, I run about 16 miles a week, and also bike and swim, and plan to continue through my pregnancy. A lot of the ward members know that I am active, and I've even run past the Bishop's house and waved to him as I ran by. I present myself as a real go-getter, who eats rocket fuel for breakfast and goes nonstop all day every day (even though the reality is far from that... people who really know me realize I'm very human). I don't think the bishop would even buy it if I simply said that I wanted to be released because I am pregnant. Today I had a chance to tell one of the counselors in RS that I'll be asking for release from the chorister calling, and told her the reason why. I was figuring that might give the presidency a little more time to find someone to fill the job. She suggested a long-term substitute for me, but I said that would be awkward because I'll be in attendance, and it would seem odd that I'm not leading the music if it's my calling and I'm present. I did tell her I would be happy to mentor someone else who is less confident of their ability as a chorister, if desired. My appointment with the bishop is right after ward choir practice tomorrow. Better go put some extra anti-perspirant on before bed. Putting it on the night before helps the next day somewhat. I'm 7 weeks along right now, and the sweating doesn't usually get bad until the 2nd trimester. I would so love to do ward choir through Christmas... maybe if it's extra cold and I can wear a sweater to cover my pits... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pahoranite Posted September 13, 2012 Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 I believe it is a fallacy to think that you have to accept every calling and remain in every calling indefinitely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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