Frustration

[SportManiac_1]

Man, I'm so frustrated. What is it with girls now days? Most (not all) don't want big families! They want like 5 kids tops. That's not big. I'm talking like 10-12 kids. Do they not understand what multiply means? C'mon. It's just so frustrating trying to find a girl to marry when she wants only 2 kids. Any thoughts?

[annewandering]

Considering that a regular birth can cost $5,000 dollars its not a surprise at all. That cost is due at the time of delivery too. Not in 30 years.

[pam]

I think in this economy, many are just being realistic. I know I was never one to say I wanted 10-12 kids.

[SportManiac_1]

But still.. God expects people to make sacrifices... All girls seem to want is 2 kids, 3 dogs, a big house, and a husband with a high paying job... :/

[pam]

A large family is not for everyone. I do believe it takes very special people to raise a large family.

The decision about how many children to have rests with the couple. After much prayer.

[annewandering]

My husband and I discussed this long ago when we first knew each other. At first he told me he wanted no kids. Then he agreed to two. I wanted a dozen.

We have 8 living. But this was when it was cheaper and/or insurance paid. And we had four at home with Ken attending.

If you want lots of kids you need to figure out how you are going to pay for them. And how they are going to be raised and by who. Then good luck in convincing some girl to go along with it.

You could go convert a nice RLDS girl. ^^

[Misshalfway]

I think it's possible to find someone who wants a bigger family. I've met, not often, but people who really do want big families.

I don't think you have give up on your dreams for a big family. But I also think you have to negotiate this with the woman who has to give birth to those kids. And it's important to stay realistic and flexible because you never know what life will bring. I know folks who planned on a big family and whose health/lives just didn't afford such a thing. They stopped at four and they are just as happy as anyone.

[applepansy]

Pregnancy and childbirth are difficult on a woman's body. And...every woman is different. There are very few woman who can physically handle 10 or more pregnancies. There are a few more that can handle 5-6.

I think its possible to find someone who wants a big family. I know a girl right now who isn't married and is the 2nd of 9. (And it doesn't seem mom and dad are slowing down. the youngest is 2) She wants a big family.

However, don't put all your hopes and dreams on 12 kids. You won't know until AFTER your future wife has had 1 or 2 or 3 if she'll be able to have 10, 11, or 12.

I suggest working towards a happy marriage and then welcoming all the babies Heavenly Father chooses to send, keeping in mind that you need their mother to raise them.

[Guest]

I'm the youngest of 9. Even in the 70's and 80's when my parents were raising us, that was a lot. My dad didn't make tons of money. We always had what we needed, but with a lot of effort on my mom's part in gardening, canning, learning how to find things as frugally as possible, learn and employ natural medicine, etc. Even now she says she can see that she couldn't have done it in today's world. It's just too expensive and too hard. I have 5 kids and believe me, it's a big family, all things considered. You're not just looking for a woman who will birth and raise lots of kids, but one who will in reality have the patience to do so, on top of doing all of the things required to be able to afford taking care of them, unless you do make a boatload of money and have excellent insurance. There are probably some out there, but you're asking a lot, frankly, and it could take a great deal of time to find a girl like that, who wants to marry you, too. So with all that you're asking, what do you bring to the table?

[Guest]

p.s. Who are you to decide what "multiply" means for anyone else? There is no number we're "supposed" tp have to keep that commandment. 2x2=4. That's still multiplying. Heck, if a couple can only or decides to only have 1 child, they're still multiplying. What makes 10 or 12 a magic number?

[prisonchaplain]

Man, I'm so frustrated. What is it with girls now days? Most (not all) don't want big families! They want like 5 kids tops. That's not big. I'm talking like 10-12 kids. Do they not understand what multiply means? C'mon. It's just so frustrating trying to find a girl to marry when she wants only 2 kids. Any thoughts?

Elephant in the room: You seem to blame the gals for not wanting to to bare 12 children, and then stay home to take care of them. Maybe if you offered to let them go out and work, while you stayed home to care for them you'd get more takers?

[annewandering]

Elephant in the room: You seem to blame the gals for not wanting to to bare 12 children, and then stay home to take care of them. Maybe if you offered to let them go out and work, while you stayed home to care for them you'd get more takers?

Probably not but its a good point.

[pam]

Probably not but its a good point.

I don't know. With 12 kids at home, going to work would seem like a vacation to me.

[SportManiac_1]

Elephant in the room: You seem to blame the gals for not wanting to to bare 12 children, and then stay home to take care of them. Maybe if you offered to let them go out and work, while you stayed home to care for them you'd get more takers?

No. Because I'd be doing the man's real role while she stays at home and raises the kids just how a woman is supposed to!

[SportManiac_1]

Also, my mom has 11 kids. I'm the 3rd. She's expecting another one. Some of my aunts have more than 10. One has 17. Both my grandmas have had more than 10.

I just think girls (and guys too) are getting more selfish and lazy. They don't want to sacrifice anything and they don't want any responsibility. Back in the day it was custom to have 8+ kids. You wouldn't live to a good old age if you didn't because nobody would be there to take care of you.

On another note... How do people expect to become Gods when they don't want kids?? You think God only wanted 3-4 kids?? No.

[Wingnut]

10-12 kids? Surely you can't be serious.

No. Because I'd be doing the man's real role while she stays at home and raises the kids just how a woman is supposed to!

Ah, well, perhaps this is the real problem. It's because you're a chauvinist that no one wants to marry you, not because you want 12 kids.

[Vort]

Man, I'm so frustrated. What is it with girls now days? Most (not all) don't want big families! They want like 5 kids tops. That's not big. I'm talking like 10-12 kids. Do they not understand what multiply means? C'mon. It's just so frustrating trying to find a girl to marry when she wants only 2 kids. Any thoughts?

It's been nothing but downhill ever since we gave them the vote.

[annewandering]

Also, my mom has 11 kids. I'm the 3rd. She's expecting another one. Some of my aunts have more than 10. One has 17. Both my grandmas have had more than 10.

I just think girls (and guys too) are getting more selfish and lazy. They don't want to sacrifice anything and they don't want any responsibility. Back in the day it was custom to have 8+ kids. You wouldn't live to a good old age if you didn't because nobody would be there to take care of you.

On another note... How do people expect to become Gods when they don't want kids?? You think God only wanted 3-4 kids?? No.

They had a dozen kids for several reasons. One was that most of the kids would die till recently.

Another was because they had only rudimentary forms of birth control.

Another is that the MAN had a dozen kids because the wives kept dying after a few and he would remarry and wait for that one to die then remarry till he had more kids.

Now women dont die as often and neither do babies so we dont need as many to be born and we have birth control that usually works so women dont have to have a dozen kids if they dont chose to.

Edited September 4, 2012 by annewandering

[SportManiac_1]

I just think people are becoming more selfish and irresponsible.

And I hate birth control.

[annewandering]

And I hate birth control.

I bet. Oh I am sure there is someone out there that wants to live your lifestyle. Hope you find her.

[Wingnut]

Currently, the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve -- 15 men total -- have a collective 74 children, which averages out to only 4.9 each. Elders Packer and Nelson each have 10 children. None of the others have more than seven. Two of them -- Elders Uchtdorf and Hales -- have only two children each.

Now, would you care to refer to the Brethren as selfish and irresponsible?

[skippy740]

It's been nothing but downhill ever since we gave them the vote.

Anyone for ending a woman's suffrage?

[pam]

Anyone for ending a woman's suffrage?

We are getting rid of men? Oh wait..that's suffering. j/k I love you guys.

[prisonchaplain]

No. Because I'd be doing the man's real role while she stays at home and raises the kids just how a woman is supposed to!

Who said it has to be this way? If you are more motivated to raise a large number of children, and your lady happens to be skilled at a profession that can support such, wouldn't Heavenly Father be okay with that?

[Guest]

I agree with previous poster who said the number of kids you're wanting really is not the root problem behind your singleness.