uncomfortable in the temple

[dahlia]

Hey all (glad to be back after a fried hard drive and breaking in a new computer), I have a question that I thought I'd put here rather than in 'advice' or whatever since maybe someone can point me to some LDS approved materials on the topic.

I enjoy going to the temple when I can, but I find that it is becoming harder and harder for me to become fully present in the moment at each stage when it takes so much mental energy for me to remember what is going on so that I can recall it later, if you take my meaning. The last time I went, I was almost physically ill from tension and was mentally a mess at the end because I couldn't do what I needed to do 100% on my own without the temple worker helping me.

Is there any guide that will give me the information for each stage (I'm trying to be as vague as possible here)? I feel like an idiot. Worse than that, the fear of not doing things well at the end is taking away the feelings I want to have in the temple.

I know the Church is not very open about the details of temple worship, but this is killing me. I just want a guide with the words so I don't feel like a dunce every time I go through. This isn't about being a perfectionist (well, obviously I have some kind of need to do things well), it's really about being able to get into that last stage, get into the language and the meaning, and be in that moment with a clear mind instead of heart palpitations.

I hope I haven't said too much. If so, I'm sure it will get redacted by a mod.

[classylady]

What helped me the most was attending several sessions in a row.

Don't be embarrassed if you need help with the wording. The workers are there to help. It's okay if you don't remember. What I didn't realize when I first went through the temple was that the wording needed to be exact.

You'll be fine. Just continue going to the temple and it will get easier. I don't know of any guides on the topic.

[Misshalfway]

I agree with Classylady. Going more often helps. Not sure if that's realistic for you, but I find that repetition makes a huge difference.

If you are so tense that you are physically ill, then something is definitely out of balance in your thinking. What if you let go of your need to be perfect in the temple ritual? What if you let go of judging yourself a "dunce"? It seems like echoes of the Adversary, to me. What better way to get your mind distracted away from higher spiritual offerings than to delude you with performance anxiety?

Satan is just so good at these tactics, isn't he? He gets me with stuff like this all the time.

I had a friend once tell me she casts off Satan before she goes into the temple. She would say stuff like "Get thee Hence! I'm not letting you destroy my peace today!" Or she starts thinking really forgiving thoughts if she has hard feelings towards someone.

Whatever you do...I hope you find a way to rise out of these worries. It seems to me that if you are focused on communing with God and receiving spiritual instruction, that your heart won't have the inclination to worry about missteps.

[estradling75]

Dahlia, Don't be afraid to use the temple workers... that is what they are there for.

Also now that you have been through repetition is good for learning. I am thinking you will not find any LDS approved sources out-side the temple because the Temple is the approved source for a worthy LDS member.

Now I am assuming you are talking about the part at the end of the endowment. Notice that right before that, they go over just about every part of the final step. This means you can sit back relax and enjoy the majority of it and when that part comes then focus your thoughts on remembering what you need to do.

[beefche]

Yep, ditto to what the others said. It took me years! of going to the temple on a regular basis to finally be able to say everything on my own. However, even now, there are times that I'm distracted or something and I forget. The temple worker will always be there to help.

One thing you can do is ask a temple worker (I would ask after the session and once you are in the Celestial Room) to find out if you can review the information they use. They have all parts of the temple ordinances on cards or some other format to use as necessary. I know in the smaller temples I've been in, there is a "study" room for the workers to use during downtime to review the information so they have it memorized to help others. I honestly don't know if they will allow you to do that, but it certainly wouldn't hurt to ask. You would probably need to do it in the "study" room as I'm sure they don't want those cards to get accidently taken from the temple.

[rameumptom]

It took me several years to memorize the wording, etc. Don't worry about leaning on the guides, that is what they are there for. In fact, the guides represent the angels that guide the initiate to the guide who represents Christ at the veil, and then Christ leads us to the Father.

I have a series of articles I'm doing on the temples at mormonendowment.com (a More Good Foundation site), where I explain quite a bit about the ancient temple and theophany experiences of others. Eventually, I will go into the modern LDS temples, probably within the next couple articles. But it hopefully will help your temple experience be a good one.

I suggest you focus less on trying to memorize, and more on feeling the Spirit and peace of the endowment. When I go, I usually will listen for a while, until something in the endowment hits me, upon which I will then ponder that concept. I receive lots of inspiration in regards to the temple and life in this manner.

[applepansy]

I have to add my own "ditto" to all of the above. It took me years to get it and I even mess it up now sometimes. Its not a big deal. I've seen temple workers mess it up too. They are there to help us, sometimes we're there to help them. We are all just human trying to do our best.

Try to relax and just enjoy learning other things for awhile. There is so much to learn in the temple. Then try again. What I did finally is during the sessions was repeat to repeat the words three times to myself each time they came up in the session. It took awhile but I finally got it right... and then I messed up again. :)

[Wingnut]

I don't worry about the words at all. Half the time I don't even listen. Instead of stressing about the wording and the process, focus more on what the Spirit is teaching you, and the peace that you feel, and knowing that you're helping those who've passed beyond.

[Vort]

I, too, agree with what everyone has said. Give yourself time and don't worry about "looking foolish". You do not look foolish.

God's way of teaching is found in the family learning to walk and talk, at Church in the sacrament, and in the temple, and it appears to involve lots of repetition. Just stay focused on what is being said and promised during the endowment while you occasionally watch the scenery whizz by. After you do the veil stuff one or two or three dozen times, you'll get it. At some point (not right now), you might want to pay special and close attention to the words at the veil to commit them to memory, and in a few sessions you'll find you have them.

But seriously, pondering on what you're hearing and experiencing is where much of the insight in the temple comes from. Memorize as you can, but don't worry about it. That's exactly not what you want to worry about while there. And good for you for going to the temple regularly!

[dahlia]

Thanks all. I am fortunate that even though we are 2 hours from Nauvoo, people in the ward go down all the time and we have ward temple visits. I can usually find a way to go until the weather gets bad. It's just that they are all born Mormons, or converted decades ago and are used to everything, and this is still relatively new for me - I've only been endowed since March.

Maybe in my old age I will move to Utah where there are temples all over the place and I don't have to drive for 2 hours to get to one. btw - can anyone do a session in the SLC temple? Is there a reservation list? I can imagine that a lot of LDS tourists, especially people who come for Conference, would want to do a session there if they could.

[Leah]

I am being endowed in two weeks and this is one of my anxieties.

I know that the first time through, I will have an escort and there will be helpful temple workers. But I do worry about the times afterward, when I return on my own. I am fortunate in that the temple is a few minutes away, and I can go weekly. But my memory isn't what it used to be!

[applepansy]

I am being endowed in two weeks and this is one of my anxieties.

I know that the first time through, I will have an escort and there will be helpful temple workers. But I do worry about the times afterward, when I return on my own. I am fortunate in that the temple is a few minutes away, and I can go weekly. But my memory isn't what it used to be!

Leah, even if you don't have an escort right by your side the 2nd time or 3rd time or 1051st time, there is always someone there to help. The temple workers watch closely for someone who might need help. Often you don't have have to ask before someone offers help.

[beefche]

There's always, ALWAYS temple workers to help. And they are EVERYWHERE. I typically, when entering a new temple (to me), ask the temple worker at the door where I need to go. I can never tell where to go after the recommend desk.

Seriously, please don't let these type of things worry you about the temple. The workers are so kind and never laugh at any of my dumb questions. I once stood right next to the locker room door and asked where the locker room was. She kindly pointed me to look 3 feet on my right....

[classylady]

Maybe in my old age I will move to Utah where there are temples all over the place and I don't have to drive for 2 hours to get to one. btw - can anyone do a session in the SLC temple? Is there a reservation list? I can imagine that a lot of LDS tourists, especially people who come for Conference, would want to do a session there if they could.

Anyone who has a temple recommend can do a session at the SL Temple. No reservations required.

[mnn727]

Sit back, relax and just experience it. There are Temple workers at each stage to assist you. That's what they are there for and they help anyone that needs it. You don't have to remember or memorize anything -- though you will eventually if you go often enough.

That was the nice thing about living 6 hours from the Temple when I was first endowed, we'd go down and stay for 2 full days and do 7-8 endowments per trip. Now that I'm 30 minutes away, I'm sorry to say I have not averaged that many in a year.

[Guest]

I've only been to one other temple besides my "home" temple to do a session. I can't believe how kind and helpful they were. They actually gave me some kind of tag or sticker so that they could identify me as someone new to that temple.

[BrendaM]

I would like to say, don't get caught up in "memorizing" what you need. That will all come in time. Be there in the moment to feel the love of Heavenly Father. The words will come as you attend; each time will get easier and easier.

I have been to several temples, and although I feel "nervous" in each because they are new to me, there is always someone there to help me. Know that the brothers and sisters who serve in the temples are so happy to see you there. Know that they love to serve the Lord and thereby serve you, so let them.

The Salt Lake City temple is unlike any that I have attended! I love it! It is quite large and the attendance is large (I'm from Toronto and we are lucky to have our rooms of 50 even half full, shame us!). If you get a chance, go.

[HiJolly]

Anyone who has a temple recommend can do a session at the SL Temple. No reservations required.

I was blessed with many new insights and understood the endowment better after going through the Salt Lake temple for the first time. Though I had been endowed for over 15 years, the live presentation of the endowment session was amazing.

HiJolly

[Finrock]

Good afternoon dahlia! I hope you've been doing well. :)

What I have found most helpful to address your concern is going to the temple regularly and consistently over time. Attending the temple consistently and regularly over time has allowed me to learn and feel comfortable with all of the ritual and memorization aspects of the ceremony.

It also took me time to realize that I don't need to worry about getting it right. I will eventually learn it as I regularly attend the temple. Learning not to worry about getting it right has helped me to then focus on what the words and symbols might mean.

Regards,

Finrock

[Misshalfway]

I am being endowed in two weeks and this is one of my anxieties.

I know that the first time through, I will have an escort and there will be helpful temple workers. But I do worry about the times afterward, when I return on my own. I am fortunate in that the temple is a few minutes away, and I can go weekly. But my memory isn't what it used to be!

Ooooo! I hope you'll tell us how it goes for you.

I remember my first time. For me, it felt like coming home somehow. And I know everybody has a different experience. I'm excited to hear about yours if you wanna talk about it.