I sit alone

[Drpepper]

I sit alone most Sundays

I check to make sure the microphone system is on and then gently sit back on the stand. The seats in the congregation begin to fill slowly as the clock reads 5 min to the hour. Most families collect their invisible reserved sign as they take the same seats they sat in previous sundays. I look to the left then to the right. Its just me again, The Bishop is caught up in his Stake Presidency duties as he struggles to juggle two hats. The other councillor also the Stake YM president is away again. We were told the new Bishop would be called next week, that was 6 months ago. Perhaps the members have become use to seeing one bishopric member on the stand, but I haven’t. The burden of carrying a ward is beginning to take its toll. Interviews are falling behind, my marriage is being stretched, my business is suffering, prayers seem to go un answered, theres an overall feeling of uncertainty in the ward. Why havn’t they called a new Bishop? I put my hand forward to staedy the ark but then retract it again in fear of doing wrong. I try to fight back feelings of depression and the “why me” syndrome. I see other men in the chapel who we had extended callings too that said NO. They look happy enough, sitting their with their wives and families, Their load seems light. I catch a glance at my own wife, with our 5 children struggling to manage each child and their needs. My minds cast back to when we both sat in front of the Stake President and he issued the call. We said yes, ive always said yes, thats what I was taught to say. What have I said yes too? Yes I would like to spend more time away from my family. Yes I would like to go to all the meetings. Yes I would like to watch my wife struggle.Yes I would like to have certain members in the ward dislike me.Yes I would like to be in the centre of blame when things in the ward don’t go well. My eyes shift towards the clock on the wall, its on the hour. I stand up, the music stops, I put on my brave face, button my suit jacket and welcome everyone to sacrament meeting. There are many there, yet I sit alone.

[talisyn]

You're a good man. And your wife is wonderful.

[Traveler]

A few years ago our stake president (now a general authority - 70) gave a most interesting talk in stake conference. He had recently served as a mission president (not stake mission president) and now as a stake president. The burdens of the stake were overwhelming and his law business was deeply in debt. In his talk he said he had asked the Salt Lake brethren for his release. He was advised to keep his calling but spend more time with his family (five children) and his business. He said that he was advised that he should delegate more responsibilities and not to worry about what could not be done or was not done but to concentrate on what could and would be done. He then said, with an apologetic tone, that he needed more help from all the members of the stake and that there would be many things that he would not be able to participate in and that others must carry a greater burden or many things would not be shepherded and cared for. He testified that it was not for any lack of desire but of necessity and that in so doing he was following the inspired and revealed cancel he had received from G-d through our sustained prophets, seers and revelators.

Our stake did not fall apart – many felt disappointed in our stake president but for me; I believe that such leadership is the example of what the church is all about. I view that stake president as one of the greatest leaders I have known. The church and leadership is not so much about leadership positions as it is but members learning correct principles and governing themselves.

The Traveler

[mikbone]

Dude I'm gonna cry.

With all the hullabaloo in last conference of the women giving prayers, I pondered that it might be nice to have the wifes of the general authorities with them up on the stand. It would give the impression of equality in the church. Recognize the importance of spouses. And let the general authority couples enjoy each others company.

Are there any rules that prevent spouses and children from accompanying Bishops on the stand. Wouldn't bother me a bit. I would actually prefer it.

Edited April 13, 2013 by mikbone

[Vort]

Are there any rules that prevent spouses and children from accompanying Bishops on the stand. Wouldn't bother me a bit. I would actually prefer it.

Clearly there are rules that prevent it, since it's not done. But common sense says that those on the stand should be those who are presiding or delivering sermons. In general, wives of leaders don't do either thing. Sitting away from spouse and children is a sacrifice that a leader is expected to make.

[mnn727]

I'd have the H.P. Group Leader up there with me and have him conduct at times. I've seen that done a number of times in different wards. Even had 1 Sunday where all 3 Bishopric members were gone and the HP Group Leader Presided and the EQ President conducted.

[Traveler]

Dude I'm gonna cry.

With all the hullabaloo in last conference of the women giving prayers, I pondered that it might be nice to have the wifes of the general authorities with them up on the stand. It would give the impression of equality in the church. Recognize the importance of spouses. And let the general authority couples to enjoy each others company.

Are there any rules that prevent spouses and children from accompanying Bishops on the stand. Wouldn't bother me a bit. I would actually prefer it.

When I was much younger serving in a bishopric my wife was in the congregation with our children - including an infant. Our two oldest boys were too much to handle - So I obtained permission from the stake president to have one of my sons with me each week on the stand. It was not a perfect arrangement but it worked.

Who sits on the stand is as more culture than doctrine. Besides the presiding authority any one can sit on the stand and when the other seats are taken it is okay to seat individuals on the stand (including families with children). I have been in attendance at sacrament meetings that became so crowded that people were seated on the stand by directions given from over the pulpit by the presiding authority. Even if such a thing is a mistake -- I doubt very much that such effort to seat those in the meeting will result in anybody being cast out to outer darkness.

The Traveler

[Anddenex]

Have your High Priest group leader sit on the stand with you so you are not alone. :)

[Wingnut]

Beautiful narrative. I only wish it was fiction.

I gotta say, I feel like your stake president is being irresponsible. Those other callings need to be filled, and I don't think that it's ark-steadying to tell him so. You can't be expected to carry the ward on your own. (1) Bishops aren't even expected to do that. It's why they have counselors. (2) You don't hold the keys of the bishopric. You can't deal with worthiness or welfare issues. You don't have the keys or blessings that you need.

Six months? I think you ought to give your stake president what-for.

[lagarthaaz]

Wow, 6 months is a long time to be feeling that burden. You and your wife are wonderful to have stuck it out this long and I'm sure the majority of members appreciate your sacrifice. They can see you sitting there on your own each week and realise how hard it must be.

A thought - since the Stake Presidency are taking their time on the matter (maybe they too are struggling with the issue), could you ask for one of them to support you by being present on the stand each week until a new bishop is called? That might hurry the inspiration process along...

[zippy_do46]

Okay, Someone has to say this... You are never alone. The burden is not yours alone. Your Heavenly Father has taken care of that. Your wife and children will be blessed for all you do. Having said that.... Wow! 6- months. I believe I would invest in some new knee pads for yourself and :) for the Stake Presidency. I pray all will be well with you and yours.

[skippy740]

[Drpepper]

Thanks for everyone's thoughts. Update, I just heard last weekend that the stake presidency are coming to call a new Bishop this week. :) I'm looking forward to sitting with my family again.

[lagarthaaz]

Hooray! :)