How far and how hard do you encourage success?

[Bini]

I was going to toss this into Parenting but decided that this might be a topic that non-parents could chime in on too. My question is: How far and how hard do you encourage your children to succeed? Is there a limit? Are there right avenues and wrong avenues? Or is success, success?

This was linked on my feed. I do personally know the author but I've pretty much axed our friendship.

***~~When My Son Had A Goal At The Age Of 9, He Didn't Ask For Money, But Instead Started His Own Business Out Of His Own Ideas To CREATE Money & Opportunity~

Four Years Later, He's Still At It & Has 2 Bank Accounts, 3 Business's, Is A Professional B-boy With BIG Goals & Dreams~ He's An "MB16" (Millionaire By 16) In The Making~ Some Of The Things He's Done Is Create A Vision Board, Goal Sets Everyday, Listens To Audio Books, Etc.~

He Knows The Difference Between An Asset Or A Liability, Spending Vs. Savings, & Has Had His Passport By The Age Of 11, As Well As Traveled Outside Of The USA By The Age Of 13~

While Some Kids Are Watching TV, Playing Video Games, Staying Up All Night, Sleeping All Day, Etc., On Their Summer Vacation, My Son's In Bed Early, Up Early, At The Gym, Reading Books Like, "Rich Dad/Poor Dad" & "Rich Kid/Smart Kid," By Robert Kiyosaki, Eating Well, Maintaining His Business, & Building His Future & I Couldn't Be Prouder~

"Your Kids Don't Become Who You Want Them To Be, They Become Who You Are," So Choose Wisely Because Your Kids Will Inherit All Of Your Habits, Beliefs, & Values In Life: Good Or Bad~

This Is Why Eagles Soar High With Eagles While THe Chickens Peck Low On The Ground Together; Be The Eagle.~~***

It seemed a bit much to me but maybe I'm just not appreciating the vision as much as she is.

[Wingnut]

I'm just trying to figure out why every single word is capitalized.

[Wingnut]

I'm just trying to figure out why every single word is capitalized.

[estradling75]

Define success?

The quote seem to focus on worldly and monetary success.

While I am not against such as a rule.. If that has come at the cost of the spiritual growth of the boy then I would say that the author does not deserve to be praised but rather be kicked in the butt for failure.

Edited July 25, 2013 by estradling75

[Bini]

I'm just trying to figure out why every single word is capitalized.

Wingnut, it's not just a Facebook thing -- she does it in text messages too. Blegh!

[Dravin]

Are you wanting to only talk about success in a financial sense? In other words are you using it to mean making lots of money? That's the direction the OP leans because of the quote and I'm not sure if that is intentional or incidental. Someone who makes $40,000 a year (depending on local), lives within their means, and has a healthy and Christlike home life, a satisfying or tolerable work life, and a solid understanding and testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ (and all that such entails) is someone I would say has achieved success.

[Bini]

Define success?

The quote seem to focus on worldly and monetary success.

While I am not against such as a rule.. If that has come a the spiritual growth of the boy then I would say that the author does not deserve to be praised but rather be kicked in the butt for failure.

Estralding, she's Catholic though not sure how practicing she is. She does praise God every so often, mostly when she recruits new clients or makes a cash cow, it's His divine works that has led her there. It's weird because otherwise she does focus a lot on money and making more.

[Bini]

Are you wanting to only talk about success in a financial sense? In other words are you using it to mean making lots of money? That's the direction the OP leans because of the quote and I'm not sure if that is intentional or incidental. Someone who makes $40,000 a year (depending on local), lives within their means, and has a healthy and Christlike home life, a satisfying or tolerable work life, and a solid understanding and testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ (and all that such entails) is someone I would say has achieved success.

Dravin, I guess part of me feels like her son is missing out on being a kid because instead he's her little business partner. He doesn't have many friends and really is striving to make his millions at 13 but only because I think so much emphasis has been put on it. He's like, a man in a boy's body.. I used to workout with his mother, and he'd be there too pumping weights and giving instruction to other gym goers. He's very independent but I think he's missing out on something.

[Wingnut]

Wingnut, it's not just a Facebook thing -- she does it in text messages too. Blegh!

I don't understand it. It takes so much extra effort and messes up the flow of typing/texting! And it's so distracting to read!

[Dravin]

Dravin, I guess part of me feels like her son is missing out on being a kid because instead he's her little business partner. He doesn't have many friends and really is striving to make his millions at 13 but only because I think so much emphasis has been put on it. He's like, a man in a boy's body.. I used to workout with his mother, and he'd be there too pumping weights and giving instruction to other gym goers. He's very independent but I think he's missing out on something.

Sounds to me that it's less financial success being the issue and more that you feel inordinate focus being put on a goal. I get the sense if he was spending all that time studying math and chemistry it might rub you the wrong way too. Needless to say my up-thread example of a successful person is unlikely to be achieved by focusing upon a singular goal (with the possible exception of focusing on the Gospel and Jesus Christ).

As far as the specific scenario you've shared, fundamentally I think it's about if he's happy and if he will have continued happiness rather than if he's meeting some idea of having a standard childhood.

Edited July 25, 2013 by Dravin

[Bini]

I think you're right, Dravin. I guess I'm a bit more of a free bird. I don't do well, personally, being confined to inside a box. I like balance, lots of options, freedom to explore new realms and ideas. I would be bummed out if my daughter got to a point where all she wanted to focus on was chemistry, and was holed up in her room doing just that, and doing little else on the side. Even if it does amount to a standard childhood. I think creative play is important, being a kid is important, regardless if kids feel like they should be adults.

[Backroads]

I find the situation downright creepy.

[Windseeker]

"Your Kids Don't Become Who You Want Them To Be, They Become Who You Are," So Choose Wisely Because Your Kids Will Inherit All Of Your Habits, Beliefs, & Values In Life: Good Or Bad~

This Is Why Eagles Soar High With Eagles While THe Chickens Peck Low On The Ground Together; Be The Eagle.~~***

This is also why eagles don't pass High School, because they don't learn proper capitalization from their eagle parents.

...

I think it's great to encourage success and she is lucky to have a kid that listens.

I kitesurf and I love it and think it's the greatest thing ever, but I can't get my kids to have any interest whatsoever in it. Only when their friends comment on how cool it is do they even acknowledge it. I'm sure I'm part to blame for this. But I do think some kids are just really easily motivated.

I gave my son the book "Think and Grow Rich" but I don't think he got past the first chapter.

[JodyTJ]

I find the situation downright creepy.

+1

I don't think how wealthy you are should define if you've been a success or not. If you love your life, and follow the gospel and have a good family and friends, than that is success.

[Suzie]

IF he is happy, IF he is the one choosing to do all these things, I don't see anything wrong with it.

By the other hand, IF it's the mother pressuring him to do it, it seems like someone wants to ensure they are going to be well taken care of when they hit retirement age.

[Backroads]

Now, I can imagine a kid starting his own little business. I've seen it. And, yes, those kids can be successful.

But I've never seen the extent of what Bini described. It is creepy. I'm with Suzie. This kid may have started this, but I believe his mother is ensuring it's continued.

[mrmarklin]

Define success:

My most successful clients financially, are those whose business is also their vocation. They like what they do, be it running a restaurant or selling real estate. This type tends not to retire, kind of like Warren Buffett.

Business success does not always mean that their family life is OK, although I've found no correlation between business success and a bad family life.:)

In OPs example, a lot of very successful people started young. They get a taste for entrepreneurship and take it into adulthood. For many of them, even though they make a lot of $$$$, the money is not truly important except as a way to feel good about what they have accomplished.

[Quin]

I had my passport at 4 MONTHS.

Ha!

Take that "My Worth as a HUman Being Depends on My Kid's Performance Stage Mom Lady"

In all seriousness... No clue whether StageMom has encouraged success, has a brilliant kid, is just a braggart, or is totally delusional. You come across these parents in playgrounds all the time. I smile politely, and move on. Because people who brag about advanced kids usually have perfectly normal kids. People who are prematurely grey and are desperately seeking something, anything, to counteract the problems of having an advanced kid? Those are the ones to take seriously. Just my experience.

Q

[classylady]

Perhaps the child really does all this on his own. If so, he could have a personality disorder. Or, he may be on the autism spectrum and that is his total focus in life. I've seen kids on the autism spectrum totally fixate on certain subjects.

[Quin]

Perhaps the child really does all this on his own. If so, he could have a personality disorder. Or, he may be on the autism spectrum and that is his total focus in life. I've seen kids on the autism spectrum totally fixate on certain subjects.

Right? And parents are usually desperately trying to get their kids to... Eat / sleep / wear clothes/ stop evading tax law / find a school with a scholarship program / etc. I'm just (mostly) normal, but we have profoundly gifted sorts in our family, so I've lived in those circles. For every "wow" factor, there's about 39 "I don't know if I'll survive". Atypical development is a hard hard hard thing to parent.

[Lakumi]

Perhaps the child really does all this on his own. If so, he could have a personality disorder. Or, he may be on the autism spectrum and that is his total focus in life. I've seen kids on the autism spectrum totally fixate on certain subjects.

yes, and its usually something useless, I speak from experience:lol:

[classylady]

Right? And parents are usually desperately trying to get their kids to... Eat / sleep / wear clothes/ stop evading tax law / find a school with a scholarship program / etc. I'm just (mostly) normal, but we have profoundly gifted sorts in our family, so I've lived in those circles. For every "wow" factor, there's about 39 "I don't know if I'll survive". Atypical development is a hard hard hard thing to parent.

True. I'm helping raise my grandson who has Asperger's. He totally fixates on a certain subject, and he is extremely gifted in his language abilities. To me, when I read Bini's post, it was a red flag because of my personal experience. It could be that the parent is pushing this on their child, or the child could be gifted, or have a disorder.

[Lakumi]

True. I'm helping raise my grandson who has Asperger's. He totally fixates on a certain subject, and he is extremely gifted in his language abilities. To me, when I read Bini's post, it was a red flag because of my personal experience. It could be that the parent is pushing this on their child, or the child could be gifted, or have a disorder.

yeah best to you, I feel for my parents having raised me:lol:

I always said I could never be as good of a father as my own, and its not just the whole aspergers thing, though that is a factor.

As I grew up, my interests weren't so dead fixed, though that's not always the case, I think I have done that as time went on, as I was surrounded by the normies