Prayer

[henry04]

I have a friend who met a girl online a while ago and I don't know what to say or how to help. He met her and he told me that she had prayed to know if he is the right one for her. She has received multiple answers to her prayers as a "YES". He prayed about it and got an answer as if he should just give things time and that with time he would discover his answer. He is planning on meeting her eventually and is concerned when he meets her how to sort out his own feelings and promptings from the spirit. I told him that some times we need to act inorder to know an answer. This is why I thought going to meet her would be a good decision. This decision could be one of monumental proportions. Anyone have any advice I could tell my friend on recognizing answers to prayers. Or any advice on this situation?

[CrimsonKairos]

Go meet her unless that would break some law.

If she brings out the best in him, and helps him live the gospel, go for it.

If not, run the other way.

[Gabelma]

tell him to get a blessing, I had a situation with my husband before we got married where Iwanted to go and visit the States I went and got a blessing as I didn't trust myself to receive and answer to prayers. Also talk ifhe can talk to his parents if they are LDS they may receive revelation I know my Father in Law knew we were going to get married before we did.

Charley

[Doctor Steuss]

Oft times when love is involved, our hearts and minds can override the promptings of the “spirit.”

They need to meet first before any type of decision can be made. We are often a slightly different person on the internet than we are in real life. We all have the “face to meet the faces” [nod to T.S. Elliot], and more-often-than-not, that face changes with the medium.

But, then again, I’m 27 and single. So, what the crap do I know…

[siouxz72]

But, then again, I’m 27 and single. So, what the crap do I know…

tee hee! but don't forget doc...all the chicks dig you so you must know a lot!

I do have to agree that meeting in person will help them sort out the promptings of the spirit.

[StrawberryFields]

They internet has really changed things over the last few years.

The closest thing we had to meeting people I had never met before was placing a personal ad which I never did. The closest thing to internet relationships that I can think of is the 'blind date' or a friend of a friend.

I agree that ppl can be a different person on the internet than they are in 'real life'. This concerns me as a mother of teenagers who use the internet to meet people. I personally feel that to build a serious relationship on the internet is problematic. It can be a start of a relationship but time together is where you will really know about chemistry and the heart and soul of someone.

[Gabelma]

They internet has really changed things over the last few years.

The closest thing we had to meeting people I had never met before was placing a personal ad which I never did. The closest thing to internet relationships that I can think of is the 'blind date' or a friend of a friend.

I agree that ppl can be a different person on the internet than they are in 'real life'. This concerns me as a mother of teenagers who use the internet to meet people. I personally feel that to build a serious relationship on the internet is problematic. It can be a start of a relationship but time together is where you will really know about chemistry and the heart and soul of someone.

I am actually going to disagree, I would not know my husband as well as I do now without the 3 years online relationship. Yes the other person can lie, but that can happen anywhere, because my husband is of the painfully shy and quiet type, its unlikely we would meet any other way and I would have missed the greatest blessing in my life

-Charley

[a-train]

Trust only personal prayers. Beware of chicks, they are all psychos.

-a-train

[StrawberryFields]

<div class='quotemain'>

They internet has really changed things over the last few years.

The closest thing we had to meeting people I had never met before was placing a personal ad which I never did. The closest thing to internet relationships that I can think of is the 'blind date' or a friend of a friend.

I agree that ppl can be a different person on the internet than they are in 'real life'. This concerns me as a mother of teenagers who use the internet to meet people. I personally feel that to build a serious relationship on the internet is problematic. It can be a start of a relationship but time together is where you will really know about chemistry and the heart and soul of someone.

I am actually going to disagree, I would not know my husband as well as I do now without the 3 years online relationship. Yes the other person can lie, but that can happen anywhere, because my husband is of the painfully shy and quiet type, its unlikely we would meet any other way and I would have missed the greatest blessing in my life

-Charley

WHAT?

My comments were made because in the OP the person said that one of them "Knew the other person was the right one' and they had not even met Maybe I just don't understand falling in love before actually spending time with someone in person.

I glad your relationship has worked out the way it has. :) Just curious when did you meet him....how far into your friendship.

[Gabelma]

<div class='quotemain'>

<div class='quotemain'>

They internet has really changed things over the last few years.

The closest thing we had to meeting people I had never met before was placing a personal ad which I never did. The closest thing to internet relationships that I can think of is the 'blind date' or a friend of a friend.

I agree that ppl can be a different person on the internet than they are in 'real life'. This concerns me as a mother of teenagers who use the internet to meet people. I personally feel that to build a serious relationship on the internet is problematic. It can be a start of a relationship but time together is where you will really know about chemistry and the heart and soul of someone.

I am actually going to disagree, I would not know my husband as well as I do now without the 3 years online relationship. Yes the other person can lie, but that can happen anywhere, because my husband is of the painfully shy and quiet type, its unlikely we would meet any other way and I would have missed the greatest blessing in my life

-Charley

WHAT?

My comments were made because in the OP the person said that one of them "Knew the other person was the right one' and they had not even met Maybe I just don't understand falling in love before actually spending time with someone in person.

I glad your relationship has worked out the way it has. :) Just curious when did you meet him....how far into your friendship.

I met my husband online we chatted for 3 years then things happened andI decided I was going to visit San Diego, wasn't even thinking about marrying him we were both dating other people. He suggested we meet, I was getting a blessing for something else which alsoincluded the line 'within the week you will have answers to your prayers about whether you should marry one of the men you are speaking to online' - within a week I had several answers then had to approach Richard. We got engaged in the November, met in the March for 3 weeks, I went through the Temple for the first time with Richard and his Parents. Then I had to explain as best I could to my non member parents when I got back (like I said in previous I think my in Laws had their own witness). He came over in June and we set wedding date for August 13th and Sealing August 14th. It has caused problems with my Mum butmy Dad has been fine. I am not sure if I did love Richard when we got married, deep passionate love took time, but he is a really good man and we have been through an awful lot of trials together. If I'd have had member parents we would have got married about 3 days after we met in real life.

I think the person concerned should get a blessing and seek his own witness.

-Charley

[StrawberryFields]

I think the person concerned should get a blessing and seek his own witness.

-Charley

I agree. This sounds like very good advice. :)

[snipe123]

I have a friend who met a girl online a while ago and I don't know what to say or how to help. He met her and he told me that she had prayed to know if he is the right one for her. She has received multiple answers to her prayers as a "YES". He prayed about it and got an answer as if he should just give things time and that with time he would discover his answer. He is planning on meeting her eventually and is concerned when he meets her how to sort out his own feelings and promptings from the spirit. I told him that some times we need to act inorder to know an answer. This is why I thought going to meet her would be a good decision. This decision could be one of monumental proportions. Anyone have any advice I could tell my friend on recognizing answers to prayers. Or any advice on this situation?

I actually met my wife in the MTC...You know how agressive those sisters can be! Actually we were in the same district and exchanged mission adresses...sort of a "let me know how the mission is going" type thing...By the end of my mission we had established quite a bond despite the fact that she was in New Zealand and I was in Texas...To make a very long story short, we were engaged 3 months after I got home and married 3 months after that (In keeping with Brigham Youngs council to marry quickly or risk aquiring infidel status)...In the first few months it was very rocky because we were from seperate ends of the state and dated long distance until our actual marriage...took some getting used to...If your friend decides he wants to give it a go...one of them should move closer so that they can actually date for a time...On a side note, we divorced after 10 years...that was 3 years ago...We have gotten our respective acts together and have reconciled...getting hitched again on the 5th of October...:) God is good and he does answer prayers...:)

[onyx]

I have a friend who met a girl online a while ago and I don't know what to say or how to help. He met her and he told me that she had prayed to know if he is the right one for her. She has received multiple answers to her prayers as a "YES". He prayed about it and got an answer as if he should just give things time and that with time he would discover his answer. He is planning on meeting her eventually and is concerned when he meets her how to sort out his own feelings and promptings from the spirit. I told him that some times we need to act inorder to know an answer. This is why I thought going to meet her would be a good decision. This decision could be one of monumental proportions. Anyone have any advice I could tell my friend on recognizing answers to prayers. Or any advice on this situation?

There is a talk in the May 2007 Ensign (Conference Edition) by Richard G. Scott called 'Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer'.

Overall it is very helpful....but the section 'How are Prayers Answered' is particularly good.

You can get the talk on www.lds.org if you don't have the Ensign delivered.

Praying about 'the one' can be a bit tricky because emotions can come into play and confuse things.

I dated a guy once who told me he had prayed and received a definate 'yes' to marry me.

I prayed and received a definate 'no.'

He then tried all manner of emotional and social manipulations and pressure to get me to change my mind.

His behaviour confirmed the 'no' answer I had already received.

Hope your friend finds his answer...and most of all happiness.

onyx

p.s. my brother met his wife online....they are happily married.

[Traveler]

I am going to post some things here - I hope I do not tick somebody off.

1. If a person has really had an answer to prayer they do not need (nor is it helpful) to seek advice or conformation from other sources.

2. A suggestion or answer from G-d is the same as a commandment. G-d will also provide the way to accomplish what he commands - follow his advice and not the advice of the world.

3. There is some latitude of agency and preparation in such matters as marriage. No one should ask for anything that they do not intend to follow through on.

4. Marriage is a covenant that involves at least two people and the L-rd. If G-d tells you something involving such a covenant he will tell everyone else involved in that covenant. If only one is getting the command from G-d something is very wrong and G-d's law of witnesses has been violated.

5. The propose of courtship - what ever the means be it internet, arranged by parents or dating or what ever - there are only one of two possible results. One: you get married. Two: you break up. There are no 3rd options for those that covenant with G-d. Whatever it takes to make the decision to marry or break up it is the responsibility of the individual to figure that out. Once G-d joins a marriage it is not up to any man or woman to end it- only G-d. Therefore I suggest that what ever method you employ to select your eternal partner you figure it out and get it done. And if you screw it up do not blame anyone else. I understand that anyone can "repent" of anything and be forgiven but blaming someone else is not part of repentance.

my thoughts

The Traveler

BTW: I have been married to the woman of my dreams for over 34 years and because I am the lesser one in the marriage it took me most of that time to realize that I made the best possible choice ever. I went through my courtship very much a fool but I was serious about one thing and that was my covenant with G-d and that and my extraordinary wife was my salvation in marriage.

[shanstress70]

Trust only personal prayers. Beware of chicks, they are all psychos.

-a-train

Great insight, a-train!

[Canuck Mormon]

Me and my wife met online in July of 2006. this past July we were married. We dated off and on for a few months, but in November decide to take it to the next level. By the new year, we had to see our Bishops. At that point I think we both knew, but were too afraid to do anything about it. We went to the Temple for 3 straight weeks. We did 2 sessions on the final day. During that final session we had to wait for the session in front of us. I happened to glance at her and this loud voice in my head said YES!!!!. That was it. I knew and proposed on the way home. We were officially engaged a week later. My point is that you'll know when you're supposed to know. If you pray with a sincere heart and sincere intent, you'll get your answer.