Members flee my ward

[Sunday21]

Members flee my ward. It is not the friendliest place. I have my own personal smile and wave campaign. I taught a lesson on this today. We are in low density mormonville. We tend to give multiple callings to a small group of people. I am one of this group. We don't give any callings to most. People leave town as soon as possible. Very few people retire and stay. As a member of my bishopric gave me my 3rd calling today he told me that he would leave when he retires. Sad! ?

 

[zil]

Do they not offer the callings to others, or do others not accept them?  Big difference.  Do people leave because you guys aren't friendly, or because that's just the nature of the area (school, temp jobs, whatever)?  And why, pray tell, aren't people friendly?  (There's a difference between being friendly and being best friends.)

At least you're not saying members of your ward have fleas...

[askandanswer]

I live in a place where the membership is quite transient. Of the six bishops we have had in the time we have been living here, only one remains. People come here to do a job and when the job is done they normally leave. A year ago we were averaging around 200 for sacrament attendance. Now it is down to about 130. I anticipate that in 2 or 3 years it will be around 180 but they won't be the same people. Its a very friendly ward and I feel quite comfortable here, its just transient. 

[Guest MormonGator]

Opposite problem down here. Members in the rural areas stay in the wards for so long that they become very, very hesitant to welcome newcomers. 

[Sunday21]

10 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

Opposite problem down here. Members in the rural areas stay in the wards for so long that they become very, very hesitant to welcome newcomers. 

Sad!

[Sunday21]

In part, yes, there is a university and a college here so we have the transient thing but, some retirees leave because they don't like us. The member of the bishop said he would rather retire to a friendlier place.  I do meet people who are inactive because they don't like us. We are a grumpy unfriendly bunch. I told the sisters today that sometimes they behave like they are in high school. They only talk to their friends. They had the grace to look guilty so there is some hope! The relief society presidency were glad that I brought it up so maybe there is further hope.

 

 

 

 

[Jojo Bags]

12 hours ago, MormonGator said:

Opposite problem down here. Members in the rural areas stay in the wards for so long that they become very, very hesitant to welcome newcomers. 

If I had been an investigator the first time I had walked through the doors of my ward, I would have left withing a half hour and never returned.  If I were attending church for acceptance by people of the ward, I would be inactive.  My ward is a typical rural Utah ward.  Everyone is related to everyone else and there is no accepting of outsiders unless you've been there for 25 years.  Every other member who has recently moved to my ward has the same problem.  You can tell quickly those who never grew up in this ward by how much they are ignored.

[NeuroTypical]

Y'all come on over to my ward here in Colorado.  Multiple families tell me they were inspired to come here, are sad to leave, and try hard to come back - even 10-15 years later.  We've had a missionary so impressed he moved here as soon as he got released and married.  I think our ward facebook page has maybe 20-30% people who used to live here, and are still maintaining friendships.  I've heard the same goodbye-everybody-testimony maybe half a dozen times, heard it again yesterday: "I hated Colorado and almost didn't follow my husband here, now (sob, tears) I would do anything to stay here!  I don't want to leave!"  

 

(All of this happens despite me, not because of me, in case anyone was wondering.  I'm a grouchy introvert who has to try to remember to smile.)

[zil]

13 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

All of this happens despite me, not because of me

Oh, come on!  If I lived in a ward that let a pony attend, I would never leave!

[Guest MormonGator]

1 hour ago, Jojo Bags said:

If I had been an investigator the first time I had walked through the doors of my ward, I would have left withing a half hour and never returned.  If I were attending church for acceptance by people of the ward, I would be inactive.  My ward is a typical rural Utah ward.  Everyone is related to everyone else and there is no accepting of outsiders unless you've been there for 25 years.  Every other member who has recently moved to my ward has the same problem.  You can tell quickly those who never grew up in this ward by how much they are ignored.

Same here my friend. Same here. I guess I get spoiled by my first ward. 

[NightSG]

1 hour ago, zil said:

Oh, come on!  If I lived in a ward that let a pony attend, I would never leave!

Might cover up the aroma of some of the HPs.

Edited September 26, 2016 by NightSG

[NeuroTypical]

1 hour ago, zil said:

Oh, come on!  If I lived in a ward that let a pony attend, I would never leave!

I do admit to the following:

- When I ran the music for the ward's Thanksgiving potluck, the entire playlist consisted of orchestral versions of My Little Pony songs, and nobody knew.  (Except for the brony missionary who immediately demanded to know who brought the music).

- When I gave a presentation on spreading the gospel using social media, I showed this picture.  Displayed on the chapel wall, right above the organ.

But other than that, I'm a curmudgeonly reclusive codger, in a ward full of friendly people.

[zil]

5 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

But other than that, I'm a curmudgeonly reclusive codger, in a ward full of friendly people.

Huh, sounds like me and my ward: They're friendly and helpful as can be, but I invented reclusion - see that other thread, wherever it was, where I posted our shield.

[tesuji]

OK, Sunday21, so where do you live? Very curious now.

Kudos on your smile and wave campaign. Sometimes that's all you can do, is your part to follow a Christlike example. And pray, of course.

On the positive side, I know of many places in the church that were formerly a struggling branch, that now have multiple wards. 

Edited September 26, 2016 by tesuji

[Maureen]

57 minutes ago, tesuji said:

OK, Sunday21, so where do you live? Very curious now....

Me too. I know she's in Canada but what Province.

M.

[askandanswer]

Tranna, I think, the town with the temple and the big spire next to the lake 

[zil]

1 hour ago, tesuji said:

OK, Sunday21, so where do you live?

Someplace so far north that when they smile the chattering makes it look more like a gnashing of teeth, complete with steam reminiscent of a dragon's smoking breath?

[tesuji]

30 minutes ago, zil said:

Someplace so far north that when they smile the chattering makes it look more like a gnashing of teeth, complete with steam reminiscent of a dragon's smoking breath?

The Misty Mountain?

Sorry, I just watched The Hobbit movie yesterday

[NightSG]

1 hour ago, Maureen said:

Me too. I know she's in Canada but what Province.

Well, there's the problem; maybe they'd be friendly to actual people, but have finally caught on that Canadians don't count.

[Guest MormonGator]

12 minutes ago, NightSG said:

Well, there's the problem; maybe they'd be friendly to actual people, but have finally caught on that Canadians don't count.

Zing! 

[Sunday21]

16 hours ago, zil said:

Someplace so far north that when they smile the chattering makes it look more like a gnashing of teeth, complete with steam reminiscent of a dragon's smoking breath?

Okay, you are seriously seriously funny. I am in rust belt Ontario. A very small town. The town was a factory town which imported Italians to work in the factories. Predominately Catholic. People do not tend to socialize outside their families. We were very very unionized. When I started teaching if I discussed the big 3 car companies and their involvement with unions, I teach employment law, there was a dead hush in the room of horror. Now most students can understand that an overly militant Union can kill your business. I drive quite a distance to serve in the temple but I has just talked another sister into joining me. My testimony talk is: I believe.....your temple needs you, please come and help! 

[Sunday21]

14 hours ago, NightSG said:

Well, there's the problem; maybe they'd be friendly to actual people, but have finally caught on that Canadians don't count.

Cheeky Monkey! I have a passport you know! Remind me where you live....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 27, 2016 by Sunday21

[NightSG]

North central Texas.  Where all the Californians keep showing up.

[unixknight]

23 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:

I do admit to the following:

- When I ran the music for the ward's Thanksgiving potluck, the entire playlist consisted of orchestral versions of My Little Pony songs, and nobody knew.  (Except for the brony missionary who immediately demanded to know who brought the music).

Aaaand with that, I now have "True, True Friend" stuck in my head.

You and I are enemies now.

 

 

 

 

(kidding, of course)

[askandanswer]

On 9/26/2016 at 11:23 AM, Sunday21 said:

In part, yes, there is a university and a college here so we have the transient thing but, some retirees leave because they don't like us. The member of the bishop said he would rather retire to a friendlier place.  I do meet people who are inactive because they don't like us. We are a grumpy unfriendly bunch. I told the sisters today that sometimes they behave like they are in high school. They only talk to their friends. They had the grace to look guilty so there is some hope! The relief society presidency were glad that I brought it up so maybe there is further hope.

 

 

On 9/26/2016 at 11:58 PM, Jojo Bags said:

If I had been an investigator the first time I had walked through the doors of my ward, I would have left withing a half hour and never returned.  If I were attending church for acceptance by people of the ward, I would be inactive.  My ward is a typical rural Utah ward.  Everyone is related to everyone else and there is no accepting of outsiders unless you've been there for 25 years.  Every other member who has recently moved to my ward has the same problem.  You can tell quickly those who never grew up in this ward by how much they are ignored.

This kind of behaviour sounds almost tribal!