Lame Jokes, the Sequel

[zil]

5 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

Lock Nis Monster!

No, I got the Loch Ness Monster, I don't know what the other problem was that Carb was referring to - I assume something in the Spanish, but I'm not seeing it.

[Sunday21]

3 minutes ago, zil said:

No, I got the Loch Ness Monster, I don't know what the other problem was that Carb was referring to - I assume something in the Spanish, but I'm not seeing it.

Ahh! No Habla Español or whatever but francais I am up for!

[Guest]

1 hour ago, zil said:

Hmm.  Apparently I don't see the other problem either.

In English, you say "What is the laziest animal on earth?"  And one might guess a snail or a sloth.

In Spanish you say "What is the most slothful animal on earth?"  Well, the obvious answer would be "a sloth."  I just find that weird.

Kind of like the song Via Dolorosa.  It has a line saying "Down the Via Dolorosa, called the Way of Suffering."  But two verses are sung in Spanish, repeating the English.  If I were to translate it it sounds like,"Down the Suffering Way, called the Way of Suffering."  Yeah, that's not repetitive.

Maybe it's just me.  I find it odd.

[Guest]

Dup

Edited February 1, 2018 by Guest

[zil]

4 hours ago, Carborendum said:

Then we have another problem.  See:

A: Cual es lo mas perezoso holgazán animal en el mundo?
B: Un Perezoso?
A: No, una pesca.
B: Porque' una pesca?
A: Porque, que hace todo el di'a?
B: Nada.  Hay!

There, fixed!

[Guest]

2 hours ago, zil said:

There, fixed!

.  Kidding.  Yes, I thought of that.  But that simply isn't the common word that most people use.

[zil]

7 hours ago, Carborendum said:

.  Kidding.  Yes, I thought of that.  But that simply isn't the common word that most people use.

Humorous license.

[NeuroTypical]

Don't ever run with bagpipes.  You could put an Aye out.

Or worse yet, get kilt.

[NeuroTypical]

[zil]

1 minute ago, NeuroTypical said:

I love that song.  (People will now condemn me for it, but oh well.)

[Sunday21]

1 minute ago, zil said:

I love that song.  (People will now condemn me for it, but oh well.)

I love it too! How’s the havering?

[zil]

15 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

How’s the havering?

I can't decide.

[Guest]

20 minutes ago, zil said:

I can't decide.

Oh, don't be foolish.

[askandanswer]

22 hours ago, zil said:

22 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:

 

I thought this was an airlock

[Sunday21]

35 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

Oh, don't be foolish.

Don’t talk nonsense!

[Sunday21]

1 hour ago, Carborendum said:

Oh, don't be foolish.

Dup: Double foolishness

Edited February 1, 2018 by Sunday21

[Sunday21]

There is an old story about a young woman on an archaeological excavation who discovers an ancient-looking lamp. When she rubs it, a genie appears, offering her one wish. She thinks for a moment and asks for world peace — that people would love each other and live in harmony forever.

The genie contemplates her request and finally says: “What you are asking for is impossible. The division among the peoples of the world is too deep and has existed for too long. Please ask for something else. Anything but that.”

The young lady thinks again and says: “Somewhere out there is the one person I was meant to be with. I want to find him — someone who is handsome, thoughtful, and has a sense of humor; someone who will help around the house, loves kids, doesn’t watch sports all the time, has a great job, and thinks first about my happiness; someone who will go shopping with me and who can get along with my family.”

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

There is an old story about a young woman on an archaeological excavation who discovers an ancient-looking lamp. When she rubs it, a genie appears, offering her one wish. She thinks for a moment and asks for world peace — that people would love each other and live in harmony forever.

The genie contemplates her request and finally says: “What you are asking for is impossible. The division among the peoples of the world is too deep and has existed for too long. Please ask for something else. Anything but that.”

The young lady thinks again and says: “Somewhere out there is the one person I was meant to be with. I want to find him — someone who is handsome, thoughtful, and has a sense of humor; someone who will help around the house, loves kids, doesn’t watch sports all the time, has a great job, and thinks first about my happiness; someone who will go shopping with me and who can get along with my family.”

I believe you missed the punch line.  Something along the lines of: So would you like world peace under one language as well?

[Guest]

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

One is a really heavy animal.  The other is a little lighter.

[Guest]

I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey until I turned myself around.

[NeedleinA]

47 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

One is a really heavy animal.  The other is a little lighter.

47 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey until I turned myself around.

Both cringe worthy dad jokes, right up my alley according to my kids.

 

 

[askandanswer]

6 hours ago, Carborendum said:

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

One is a really heavy animal.  The other is a little lighter.

Which one is the heavy animal and which one is the little lighter?

[Vort]

7 hours ago, Carborendum said:

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

One is a really heavy animal.  The other is a little lighter.

Who's bigger, Mr. Bigger or his baby?

The baby is a little Bigger.

[NeuroTypical]

[NeedleinA]

The Walking Dead...