NeuroTypical Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of all their ships? So when they come back to port, they can... ... Scandinavian Jamie123, zil, Sunday21 and 3 others 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 7 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said: Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of all their ships? So when they come back to port, they can... ... Scandinavian Grrrroooooaaaannnn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie123 Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk. Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted July 31, 2017 Report Share Posted July 31, 2017 John is dating Lorraine. Lorraine's best friend Clarely came home from her mission and met John. John fell in love with Clarely and Clarely fell in love with John but John couldn't break up with Lorraine because he doesn't want Lorraine to get hurt and put a pall on his future relationship with Clarely. One day, Lorraine sat John down and told him she's going on a mission and so she will have to break up with him because she wants to focus on her mission and she doesn't want John to wait for her because by the time she returns she would be a different person. Lorraine then got on a plane for the MTC. Instead of getting devastated, John ended up singing, "I can see Clarely now, Lorraine is gone." askandanswer, Sunday21, Jeremy A and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted July 31, 2017 Report Share Posted July 31, 2017 BOOOO! zil 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted September 16, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2017 Sunday21, Vort, mordorbund and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeremy A Posted September 17, 2017 Report Share Posted September 17, 2017 Okay, I have a joke that's totally inappropriate. Are you ready? Two Irishmen walk out of a bar. (This joke wouldn't be here if it was really inappropriate.) Sunday21 and Jamie123 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted September 17, 2017 Report Share Posted September 17, 2017 8 hours ago, Jeremy A said: Okay, I have a joke that's totally inappropriate. Are you ready? Two Irishmen walk out of a bar. (This joke wouldn't be here if it was really inappropriate.) Hey Jeremy! Glad you are here! You are fitting right in! Abysmal joke! Good work! Jeremy A 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted September 17, 2017 Report Share Posted September 17, 2017 @zil. Love it! zil 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie123 Posted September 18, 2017 Report Share Posted September 18, 2017 (edited) Teacher (quoting): As the lean leech, its victim found, is pleasedTo fix itself upon a part diseased.Till, its black hide distended with bad blood,It drops to die of surfeit in the mud,So the base sycophant with joy descries... Can anyone explain what Ambrose Bierce means by the word "sycophant"? Student: Let me draw you a picture... Edited September 18, 2017 by Jamie123 Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
askandanswer Posted November 21, 2017 Report Share Posted November 21, 2017 Vegans think that people who sell meat are gross But butchers think that people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer Jamie123 and Sunday21 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted January 31, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here. I'll go on a head." When Larry drove his expensive car into a tree, he found out how the Mercedes bends. Dad: What are you drinking, son? Son: Soy milk. Dad: Hola Milk, soy Padre. mordorbund and NeuroTypical 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 14 minutes ago, zil said: Dad: What are you drinking, son? Son: Soy milk. Dad: Hola Milk, soy Padre. That one only makes sense if you know Spanish. Kinda like why a fish is the laziest animal on earth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 You're welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 Someone asked me "Could you possibly be any more annoying?" So the next day, I wore tap shoes. zil, Sunday21 and Vort 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 Her: I'm exhausted. I was up until 3am with the baby! Him: It's probably not good to keep a baby up that late. askandanswer, Sunday21 and Vort 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted January 31, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 3 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said: You're welcome. OK, I get the lock and the "monster" and know what it's supposed to be, but what is that between the lock and the monster? Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 It's a Nintendo Entertainment System, NES for short. zil 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted January 31, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 27 minutes ago, Carborendum said: That one only makes sense if you know Spanish. Kinda like why a fish is the laziest animal on earth. OK, what am I missing about the fish? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 1 hour ago, zil said: OK, what am I missing about the fish? A: What is the laziest animal on earth? B: A sloth? A: No, a fish. B: Why a fish? A: What does it do all day? B: Swims. The word for "swims" and the word for "nothing" is the same word "Nada." Hence, it does nothing all day. Yeah, it's not funny if you have to explain it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted January 31, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 1 minute ago, Carborendum said: A: What is the laziest animal on earth? B: A sloth? A: No, a fish. B: Why a fish? A: What does it do all day? B: Swims. The word for "swims" and the word for "nothing" is the same word "Nada." Hence, it does nothing all day. Yeah, it's not funny if you have to explain it. But it would have been funny (to me) had you told it in Spanish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 Just now, zil said: But it would have been funny (to me) had you told it in Spanish. Then we have another problem. See: A: Cual es lo mas perezoso animal en el mundo? B: Un Perezoso? A: No, una pesca. B: Porque' una pesca? A: Porque, que hace todo el di'a? B: Nada. Hay! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 2 hours ago, NeuroTypical said: It's a Nintendo Entertainment System, NES for short. Took me a while until I realized I was reading it backwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted January 31, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 2 hours ago, Carborendum said: Then we have another problem. See: Hmm. Apparently I don't see the other problem either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 7 minutes ago, zil said: Hmm. Apparently I don't see the other problem either. Lock Nis Monster! Vort 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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