zil

Lame Jokes, the Sequel

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47 minutes ago, anatess2 said:

Do you know why the Prophet banned coffee and tea?  Because, the Bible says He-brews but they couldn't stand to be in the kitchen.

I think this lost something in the translation... ;)

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6 minutes ago, Vort said:

It does depend on at least a rudimentary understanding of French, but that's reasonable.

I think people are more likely to recognize "sans serif" than they are "seraph" (esp. without the "im").  Could be wrong.  Either way, they might not get it.  Still funny.

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15 minutes ago, zil said:

I think people are more likely to recognize "sans serif" than they are "seraph" (esp. without the "im").  Could be wrong.  Either way, they might not get it.  Still funny.

True story:

I got into a discussion about what type of font to use.  The manager kept saying he wanted a "sans serif" type font.  So, I kept suggesting Arial.  He kept trying to correct me,"No, I said a sans-serif type font."

Eventually I realized he didn't know what that meant.  I had to 'splain it to him.  Then we agreed on Times Roman.

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So, Ghandi walked barefoot or in sandals.  He got weaker due to his fasting.  And had bad breath due to the Indian cuisine.

He became known as :

The Super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

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5 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

So, Ghandi walked barefoot or in sandals.  He got weaker due to his fasting.  And had bad breath due to the Indian cuisine.

He became known as :

The Super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

groooooaaaaaan

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Guest

How do you kill an elephant?  With an elephant gun.

How do you kill a blue elephant?  With a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a red elephant?  You hold its trunk until it turns blue.  Then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a yellow elephant?  You tell it a really embarrassing joke until it turns red.  Then you hold its trunk until it turns blue.  Then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a purple elephant?  Who ever heard of a purple elephant?

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant?  Plums are purple.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants stampeding?  Here come the elephants!

What did Jane say when she saw the elephants stampeding?  Here come the plums!  She was color blind.

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Just now, zil said:

Is it too late for me to delete this topic? :P

You're just lucky I stopped at two elephant jokes.

I haven't even started the Dad jokes.

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How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

You open the door, shove the elephant in, close the door.

 

How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, close the door.

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5 hours ago, Carborendum said:

What's the difference between a plum and an elephant?  Plums are purple.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants stampeding?  Here come the elephants!

What did Jane say when she saw the elephants stampeding?  Here come the plums!  She was color blind.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants stampeding while wearing sunglasses?  Nothing.  He didn't recognize them.

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9 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:

Are lame fake lyrics allowed here?

dlme.jpg

David was a king who

married lots of women.

Then he saw Bathsheba

while she was a'swimmin'.

David thought Bathsheba's

looks were pretty swell.

So he killed her husband, 

And now he's in -- heck.

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13 hours ago, Godless said:

I got these blocks for my son. He plays with them periodically.

size.jpg

Argon has the wrong atomic number.  What the?

I didn't know they had given Flerovium a name.  Sweet.

Edited by Guest

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