Child born out of wed lock

[St3ady]

I have questions for anyone who has had a baby out of wed lock and repented about it, or anyone who can answer my questions about it. I have been through the repentance process so it not about that. My question is when repenting for pre marital sex where a baby is involved, do you repent for the sex as a mistake or is the baby also considered a mistake in the churches eyes and are you asked to repent for having a baby.

 

Edited December 20, 2016 by St3ady

[pam]

This is just my 2 cents.  Babies are precious and very dear.  I don't think babies are mistakes, but the way they are conceived would be.  Meaning, in this case you are repenting for the sex without marriage.  Not for having a baby.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

I agree with Pam.  I was one of those babies born out of wedlock, and I am not a mistake.  

[St3ady]

4 hours ago, LiterateParakeet said:

I agree with Pam.  I was one of those babies born out of wedlock, and I am not a mistake.  

I agree my baby is not a mistake. I just wanted to know how the church saw it, because I can't find much about it on church sites.

[yjacket]

Children are awesome, part of the repentance process is being responsible for the consequences of our actions.  Sex is the natural way for spirits to gain a body (one of the major reasons we are here).  Therefore the likely outcome of having sex out of wedlock is a baby and as such part of the repentance process for having sex out of wedlock is to be responsible with the gift God has given-the gift of life.

In older days and when society as a whole had a better sense of honor-a child out of wedlock meant the offending parties were to get married (hence the term shotgun wedding-you knocked up the daughter then Daddy holds a shotgun to you to get you married!)-it was also called doing the right thing.

Now a days good luck on getting the offending parties to be married. As such the life of a single parent with a child out of wedlock is very difficult-the difficulty you are in for you can't possibly grasp.  Life will be very difficult and you will have to forgo personal desires and choices that had you not fornicated you would still have, but again that is part of the repentance process, humbly accepting the consequences of our actions and doing the best we can with those consequences to make life better.  

Your focus now as part of the repentance process is to be the best father possible for this child-part of being a good parent is to demonstrate to children what a good marriage looks like and as such part of that responsibility is to also find a good partner.

Edited December 20, 2016 by yjacket

[pam]

I think you would find the Church sees it the same way we do.  

[St3ady]

3 minutes ago, yjacket said:

Children are awesome, part of the repentance process is being responsible for the consequences of our actions.  Sex is the natural way for spirits to gain a body (one of the major reasons we are here).  Therefore the likely outcome of having sex out of wedlock is a baby and as such part of the repentance process for having sex out of wedlock is to be responsible with the gift God has given-the gift of life.

In older days and when society as a whole had a better sense of honor-a child out of wedlock meant the offending parties were to get married (hence the term shotgun wedding-you knocked up the daughter then Daddy holds a shotgun to you to get you married!)-it was also called doing the right thing.

Now a days good luck on getting the offending parties to be married. As such the life of a single mother with a child out of wedlock is very difficult-the difficulty you are in for you can't possibly grasp.  Life will be very difficult and you will have to forgo personal desires and choices that had you not fornicated you would still have, but again that is part of the repentance process, humbly accepting the consequences of our actions and doing the best we can with those consequences to make life better.  

Your focus now as part of the repentance process is to be the best mother possible for this child-part of being a good parent is to demonstrate to children what a good marriage looks like and as such part of that responsibility is to also find a good husband.

Me and my girlfriend are still together and are planning on getting married in the future. Neither one of us are running away from the consequences of our actions. I personally have had issues with the church the last little while, but when we found out she was pregnant our ideas about the church started to change. We were talking bout the option of getting the baby blessed, and If we get the baby blessed I want to at least be worthy to stand in on the blessing, if not give it myself. And I just wanted to know the churches view on babies Born out of wed lock 

 

[yjacket]

1 hour ago, St3ady said:

Me and my girlfriend are still together and are planning on getting married in the future. Neither one of us are running away from the consequences of our actions. I personally have had issues with the church the last little while, but when we found out she was pregnant our ideas about the church started to change. We were talking bout the option of getting the baby blessed, and If we get the baby blessed I want to at least be worthy to stand in on the blessing, if not give it myself. And I just wanted to know the churches view on babies Born out of wed lock 

 

You are a good man! My bad on assuming you were a female, please accept my apologies-I didn't look at the gender.

Edited December 20, 2016 by yjacket

[estradling75]

1 hour ago, St3ady said:

 And I just wanted to know the churches view on babies Born out of wed lock 

 

Most of the scriptures regarding children are about baptism...  But it is impossible to read those scriptures and not get the understanding of where little children stand before the Lord...  Clearly people can have other opinions but their opinions don't really matter (other then they might need to repent)

 

D&C 29

 46 But behold, I say unto you, that little children are redeemed from the foundation of the world through mine Only Begotten;

 47 Wherefore, they cannot sin, for power is not given unto Satan to tempt little children, until they begin to become accountable before me;

 

And Moroni 8

10 Behold I say unto you that this thing shall ye teach—repentance and baptism unto those who are accountable and capable of committing sin; yea, teach parents that they must repent and be baptized, and humble themselves as their little children, and they shall all be saved with their little children.

 11 And their little children need no repentance, neither baptism. Behold, baptism is unto repentance to the fulfilling the commandments unto the remission of sins.

 12 But little children are alive in Christ, even from the foundation of the world; if not so, God is a partial God, and also a changeable God, and a respecter to persons; for how many little children have died without baptism!

 13 Wherefore, if little children could not be saved without baptism, these must have gone to an endless hell.

 14 Behold I say unto you, that he that supposeth that little children need baptism is in the gall of bitterness and in the bonds of iniquity; for he hath neither faith, hope, nor charity; wherefore, should he be cut off while in the thought, he must go down to hell.

 15 For awful is the wickedness to suppose that God saveth one child because of baptism, and the other must perish because he hath no baptism.

 16 Wo be unto them that shall pervert the ways of the Lord after this manner, for they shall perish except they repent. Behold, I speak with boldness, having aauthority from God; and I fear not what man can do; for perfect clove casteth out all fear.

 17 And I am filled with charity, which is everlasting love; wherefore, all children are alike unto me; wherefore, I love little children with a perfect love; and they are all alike and partakers of salvation.

 18 For I know that God is not a partial God, neither a changeable being; but he is unchangeable from ball eternity to all eternity.

 19 Little children cannot repent; wherefore, it is awful wickedness to deny the pure mercies of God unto them, for they are all alive in him because of his mercy.

 20 And he that saith that little children need baptism denieth the mercies of Christ, and setteth at naught the atonement of him and the power of his redemption.

 21 Wo unto such, for they are in danger of death, hell, and an endless torment. I speak it boldly; God hath commanded me. Listen unto them and give heed, or they stand against you at the judgment-seat of Christ.

 

Read these verses and ponder what they teach about the state of little children... once you do that you have the only answer that matters.

 

 

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

1 hour ago, St3ady said:

Me and my girlfriend are still together and are planning on getting married in the future. Neither one of us are running away from the consequences of our actions. I personally have had issues with the church the last little while, but when we found out she was pregnant our ideas about the church started to change. We were talking bout the option of getting the baby blessed, and If we get the baby blessed I want to at least be worthy to stand in on the blessing, if not give it myself. And I just wanted to know the churches view on babies Born out of wed lock 

 

I understand your question a little better now; I think.  Many couples have found their selves in your position.  I can think of a handful that went on to get sealed in the temple and raise a family together.  You need to talk to your Bishop and he can help you get on the path toward being able to bless the baby, and go to the temple.  Some day baptize your child . . .  so many wonderful blessings await.  

Hope that helps.  Let us know if we're still missing something. 

[MarginOfError]

While the church has no explicit statement on the children born out of wedlock, we can extrapolate from core teachings.

We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel. (Article of Faith 2)

Thus, we will be judged on our choices and the decisions we make in how we apply our gospel knowledge in the way we interact with those around us. 

You violated commandments we bundle together as the Law of Chastity. That is that men and women shours only have sexual relations with their spouse. That law does not say "thou shalt not have children out of wedlock." It is about the use of sex (and related).

The Doctrine and Covenants teaches that parents have an obligation to teach their children true principles. It does not distinguish married parents from unmarried parents. Just parents.  

Although sex is (usually) a necessary condition for parenthood, the judgment we receive for our sexual choices will largely be independent of the judgment we receive for our parenting choices. 

So the church dosent need a "view" on children out of wedlock. The church just needs to accept them with open arms in order to help bring them to Christ.

Lastly, on a human level, there is no such thing as repenting for having a kid. You cannot sin by bringing life into the world. You can only sin by not treating that life with the dignity and love it deserves. 

[Guest]

On ‎12‎/‎20‎/‎2016 at 8:51 AM, MarginOfError said:

We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel. (Article of Faith 2)

This is the third AoF, not the 2nd.  I can see that you either used to be LDS or have decided you've studied enough of our faith to intelligently talk to us about it.  But (and I do say this in all politeness) I'd suggest that you recognize that you don't know enough to give advice about what we believe.

[MarginOfError]

44 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

This is the third AoF, not the 2nd.  I can see that you either used to be LDS or have decided you've studied enough of our faith to intelligently talk to us about it.  But (and I do say this in all politeness) I'd suggest that you recognize that you don't know enough to give advice about what we believe.

You're going to extrapolate all of that from a missed reference (that easily could have been a typo)?

Perhaps you'd care to elaborate what exactly I don't understand about Mormon theology instead of disqualifying everything on a missed reference.

[Blackmarch]

On December 19, 2016 at 10:23 PM, St3ady said:

I have questions for anyone who has had a baby out of wed lock and repented about it, or anyone who can answer my questions about it. I have been through the repentance process so it not about that. My question is when repenting for pre marital sex where a baby is involved, do you repent for the sex as a mistake or is the baby also considered a mistake in the churches eyes and are you asked to repent for having a baby.

 

The baby cannot be considered a mistake, it was not the one who made the choice. You repent for your actions if your actions resulted in there being a baby then you have responsibility to the child. i would imagine that taking up that responsibility as much as one can would be considered part of the repentence.

[Sunday21]

The church never considers a child to be illegitimate. The child is perfect. There will be no problem with having the child blessed. We bless babies and children in this situation on a routine basis. 

[wenglund]

On 12/19/2016 at 10:26 PM, pam said:

This is just my 2 cents.  Babies are precious and very dear.  I don't think babies are mistakes, but the way they are conceived would be.  Meaning, in this case you are repenting for the sex without marriage.  Not for having a baby.

Said another way, it isn't the conception of a child that is the sin, but the conditions under which the child is conceived. Otherwise, children born inside wedlock would be a sin. So, repentance only applies to the conditions under which the child was conceived, and not the child, itself,

This principle applies not only to sex outside of wedlock, but also to rape. Rape is a grievous sin, whereas a child conceived through rape is not, nor the victim of rape

I hope this helps. Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Edited January 15, 2017 by wenglund
Clarity.