The Things Kids Say

[Wingnut]

After picking my son up for a visitation, when he was around 4. He very proudly announced he had 2 moms his real mom and a step down.

Ain't that the truth! (Just kidding to all you non-wicked stepmothers out there!)

[mightynancy]

My 2nd-grader's math homework was all about the number 13. It shared lore of 13, asked her to add to thirteen...

The last question was, "Can you think of three identical numbers that add up to 13? Explain your answer."

Her carefully-printed response:

Yes. 4⅓.

[Dr T]

My daughter found a picture of my niece the other day and she brought it out and asked, "I this me when I'm older?"

[Islander]

My 4 year old daughter is watching the Canadian geese on the pond across the street thru her bedroom window. She can also see the neighbor's bedroom from there. She yells: "Mom...Anna is fighting again with her husband....and they ripped they clothes off...hurry before some bad happens.."

The window and blinds are drwan permanently now, as you can imagine.

[Gwen]

my daughter (3yrs) said the bedtime prayer tonight and she said, "bless everyone in the whole world except the giants and monsters"

[SmilingRedhead]

My three year old daughter shouted from the sofa... "Look!! There are hairs on my legs! That means I'm growing up to be like daddy!" haha :)

[mightynancy]

Today, my 8-year-old daughter asked about her brother.

"Does Jacob have the Ironic Priesthood?"

[Dr T]

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

[ninjormon]

1. Just Sunday in nursery we had a lesson on the Holy Ghost, my daughter had a hard time saying it and keeps saying the silly ghost, Im trying to break it but still funny.

2. My family is moving to Midvale later this week, Friday we had the missionaries and a couple of friends over for dinner, My friend taught my daughter to say Utard instead of Utah so now whenever someone asks where we are moving she says Utard, Im also trying to break this one or else I will be really embarrased when she offends someone.

3. We had a meeting with the Bishop a couple weeks ago and when we went into his office the all the lights in the building were on. While we were in there one of the counselers turned the lights off (it was kinda late) some kids were running up and down the halls and my 2 yr old started yelling, "Everyone be quiet Jesus is sleeping"

Edited February 24, 2009 by ninjormon

[ninjormon]

4. We were driving and my daughter said "Look daddy the sky is following us".

5. She learned the word rubber band before band-aid so now she calls them rubberband-aids. "Daddy put a rubber band-aid on my blood".

6. We saw a man with really long hair, my daughter said look at the girl, he turned around and had a long beard, she said "look at the boy girl".

Edited February 24, 2009 by ninjormon

[Gwen]

we recently went to visit my family. my parents are divorced and my dad is remarried. on the way down the kids were trying to figure out the whole, grandma and grandpa are mom's mom and dad or dad's mom and dad..... we thought they finally had it figured out.

we stayed at my dad's house and the next morning on the way to see my mom we told them we were going to see grandma.. mom's mommy. my 6 yr old was confused a min and wanted to know who lived with my dad. we explained that's mommy's step-mom and he exclaims "oh, i get it! your dad traded for a new mate!"

then later at my mom's house my 7 yr old says to grandma, "we are staying at my grandpa's house. you know my mom's dad?" she just chuckled and said, "yes i know him".

[t_tully]

I have just started to teach my 5 year old son about the church. I kick myself for not returning to church sooner, but it is what it is and I am just thankful that I am finally ready. Anyways, by son is a HUGE star wars fan. Anyways I show him this picture and ask him if he knows who it is.

He says, "Sure dad. It's Obi-Wan Kenobi. My wife and I seriously could not stop laughing. My son didn't understand why we were laughing so hard. And in truth, the picture does resemble Obi-Wan, but still. Shame on me for not teaching him sooner. :lol

[yenni]

When she was 3, my daughter had a massive crush on Brian May, guitarist with Queen. I was watching various Queen videos at that time and she 1st seemed to notice Brian whilst he was performing a song called Dragon Attack...afterwards she used to point to him and say Dragon and she carried the inner sleeve of an album of theirs everywhere she went, even to nursery school, because it had a photo of her beloved on it...ahhhhh :)

Aah that's cute. I had a crush on Brian May when I was little, I never did that though.

[Connie]

When my daughter was 6 years old she said, "I'm glad i only have two feet. If i was a spider, it would take me forever to get my shoes on."

[kathysmike]

As we sat in Elders Quorum on a recent sunday, my nephew's 2 year old daughter came into the the room and very loudly announced Daddy I'm poppie which she repeated a few times as he tried to rush her out of the room.

[ninjormon]

Last weekend we went to the mall and my 3 yr old daughter saw the easter bunny, he had huge 20 foot tall bodyguards (also bunnies) I told my wife look he has body guards and my daughter corrected me saying "No dad, they're bunnyguards".

We have been trying to conserve energy by turning off all lights not neccesary, my wife went through the house and said there are too many lights on, my daughter said "yeah I know its a light-mare"

[Guest missingsomething]

Last summer my 3 yr old daughter told our neighbor - who was lighting a cigarette... "EWE, your not going to put that dirty thing in your mouth are you? God doesnt like us to smoke. Smoking is a rule. You arent going to really smoke that are you? YOu know thats a really bad thing to do.. God's going to be weallly mad at you."

To which I stood behind her during this rant... MORTIFIED.... and but was afraid to say sorry as I didnt want her to think this was a wrong way to think. So I just said, "those darn kids"... My neighbor glared at her and me, grumbled, and walked inside the house.

[kathysmike]

My niece sent me a report of a recent conversation she had with her 2 year old daughter.

Mom "We are going to go to the grocery store and if you are real good I am thinking of getting you something."

Daughter "Like a phone ? "

[Amillion2one]

I can't believe that I haven't shared this one earlier this was when my eldest son was in kindergarten scripture class before this he had had absolutely no spiritual teaching.

They were teaching him about the ressurrection at school and he came home that afternoon full of news goin

"MOM MOM!!"

"What Bran?"

" I learnt about a guy named Jesus today!!!"

" Oh yeah what did you learn?"

At this point he pulls the worksheet from his school bag that they gave him and demonstrates to me

"Jesus died for alll the bad people, then they put him in a cave and covered him with a rock...then after 5 days of cooking he turned into an angel!!!"

Well nice to know that he got the gist of it not too sure about the cooking part...LMBO...thankfully we fixed that with him...LMBO

[Guest Alana]

Yesterday my almost 5 year old told me anything he wished for would come true. I asked him if he could wish me a million dollars. He said "no, mom, you need to learn to save your money."

Gee, thanks:P

[idahomommyof4]

Last month, the 1st counselor was doing Sharing Time. She was talking about faith and was explaining what faith is. She talked about how it is believing in something we can't see. She asked the classes (jr. primary) if any of them had heard of China. Everyone raised their hands. She asked how they knew that China was actually there & wasn't just something someone made up. The kids gave different answers such as seeing pictures from there, having family/friends who've visited there, etc. Then one boy in CTR 7 stood up and said, "well it's GOTTA be real, 'cuz everything is MADE there!" The adults just CRACKED up! It was priceless :)

[Guest Alana]

My five year old yesterday asked me "Mom, when you were a kid were there dinosaurs?"

Hilarious both because of how his mind works and because it's so cliche:P