The Things Kids Say

[onyx]

I have been so busy these last few months, I have not been able to visit this site. Tonight I finally got some time. I really enjoyed all of these wonderful accounts and I've had a good chuckle too. Keep the stories coming.

Onyx

[pam]

I have been so busy these last few months, I have not been able to visit this site. Tonight I finally got some time. I really enjoyed all of these wonderful accounts and I've had a good chuckle too. Keep the stories coming.

Onyx

Onyx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How are ya darlin'? I've so wondered and wondered what ever became of you. Glad to see you are back.

[rena_goldmoon]

I dont quite have any kids of my own yet but I have pretty funny neice. She's about 3 and we had her and her younger sister for the weekend. I was cleaning up after a meal with my husband and mentioned to him I had to go to the bathroom. My neice was in the kitchen at the time and apparently over heard me. I came out of the bathroom to find her not far outside the door and she said to me, "Did you go potty?" I said yes. She proceeded to clap her hands excitedly and said, "Yay!! Good job!!!"

It shocked me for a minute and then trying not to laugh I said, "Um....thank you."

[siouxz72]

I dont quite have any kids of my own yet but I have pretty funny neice. She's about 3 and we had her and her younger sister for the weekend. I was cleaning up after a meal with my husband and mentioned to him I had to go to the bathroom. My neice was in the kitchen at the time and apparently over heard me. I came out of the bathroom to find her not far outside the door and she said to me, "Did you go potty?" I said yes. She proceeded to clap her hands excitedly and said, "Yay!! Good job!!!"

It shocked me for a minute and then trying not to laugh I said, "Um....thank you."

hahahaha!!! i can totally picture it!

[SmilingRedhead]

Our almost three-year-old daughter came into the kitchen this morning where my husband and I were talking. My husband had been away for four days and I mentioned to him that our daughter was so jolly now that her daddy was home again.

She misheard me and in all seriousness exclaimed: "I'm not jelly! I'm wobbly!" and did a little wobble for us...

Edited July 5, 2008 by SmilingRedhead

[rena_goldmoon]

So heres a new one from my neice. Shes almost 3 and her name is Kellie. My husband and I were at her house visiting and it had rained very hard. There was a big puddle in her front yard. She was on the porch and was trying to get my husband to let her off the porch. She kept pointing at the puddle and saying something. He leaned in closer to hear her better and relised she was saying, "I want to swim in Lake Kellie!" He cracked up! She had named the puddle after herself!

[siouxz72]

so...as all ya'll know my two littlest kidlets came home yesterday! yay! my son has a friend who is 17 and pretty much a genius. we broke the kicker to the drums for rockband over the weekend and son's friend was like "i can fix it", so i'm like "have at it". they took the kicker to his house yesterday afternoon to fix it and being the nice boys that they are took katie with them...anyhoo...friend shows katie a tool and says "katie, this is a man tool" and she was like.."that's not a man tool! i can use it, too! i also know how to use these tweezers!" ummm....katie...those are called pliers... hahahaha!!!

[Hemidakota]

Latterday Homour....

"When my son was four years old, I asked him who baptized Jesus. I knew he could tell me. I showed him a picture of the Savior being baptized. He with all seriousness looked up at me and said, 'John, the Bathtub.'"

--Kathy Blose - Las Vegas, NV

"Years ago, the evening before our son was to begin Kindergarten, we were visiting with my Father. My Father was asking our son if he knew our phone number. Our son responded by telling his Grandpa our phone number correctly. Next came our home address, to which he again gave his Grandpa our correct address. My Father thought he would give him a trick question by asking him which church we belonged to. Without hesitation our son cheerfully responded, 'The true church.'"

--Terril Haney - Hemet, Calif.

"Several years ago, we were presenting a sharing time on temples. After a short presentation, we asked if any one had a favorite temple. We had several children raise their hands and say the name of their favorite temple. Everything was going according to plan until one little boy, when called upon, said his favorite temple was the 'Temple of Doom!'"

--Diane Rhodes - Oshkosh, WI

[Hemidakota]

More humor....

"My 4 nephews were part of a quartet assigned to sing in sacrament one Sunday, they had been practicing for a while and while some could find their pitch, others couldn't. Finally after the last practice the oldest of my nephews called out to the guys, 'if you miss your part just start crying and then join in at the end of the song, they'll never know.'"

--Anna Afuvai

"Many years ago as a teacher of the Sunbeam class in Primary, I was giving a simple lesson about the temple. One of the more precocious little girls in the class was anxious to report to us that her parents were attending the temple that very day. Not to be outdone, a little boy, the youngest of a very large family, quickly piped up with, 'My parents are already married.'"

--Barbara Dukes - Gridley Third Ward, Gridley, CA

"My son was two and learning to say the blessing. 'Heavenly Father, please bless this food, in the name of Jesus Christ, (silence)......and Ronald McDonald!, Amen!.'"

--Regena Palmer

[workindiligently]

My 5-year-old daughter was painting my nails, and my 4-year-old daughter wanted to do the same. However the only victim available for my 4 year old was my 15-year-old son, Matt. He agreed, but only on the condition that we had fingernail polish remover. I assured him we did, and the fingernail painting began. So while my son and I were having our nails done, we got into a discussion about rather or not I would allow him to keep our kitten in the house. I complained that the litter box was outside, not to mention being too full and no one had bothered to empty it. So after Matt was done with his nails, he immediately got busy with emptying and refilling the litter box. Unfortunately, he had torn the bag of litter too much and almost all of 25 lbs. of litter went into the box, which definitely overfilled it. When he went to put some of the litter back into the bag with his hands, he complained, "But Mom, I just had my nails done!"

[siouxz72]

My 5-year-old daughter was painting my nails, and my 4-year-old daughter wanted to do the same. However the only victim available for my 4 year old was my 15-year-old son, Matt. He agreed, but only on the condition that we had fingernail polish remover. I assured him we did, and the fingernail painting began. So while my son and I were having our nails done, we got into a discussion about rather or not I would allow him to keep our kitten in the house. I complained that the litter box was outside, not to mention being too full and no one had bothered to empty it. So after Matt was done with his nails, he immediately got busy with emptying and refilling the litter box. Unfortunately, he had torn the bag of litter too much and almost all of 25 lbs. of litter went into the box, which definitely overfilled it. When he went to put some of the litter back into the bag with his hands, he complained, "But Mom, I just had my nails done!"

hahahahahaha!!! That was so great! i fully laughed out loud! thank you for sharing!

[RainofGold]

This happened when my daughter was three years old. She had a lot of dolls and would always talk to them like if they were real people. I guess that's normal but I thought she was doing it just too much.

One day I sat next to her on her bed while she was playing with her dolls. I started telling her that her dolls are just to play pretend but that they aren't real babies. That they actually don't talk and can't listen to them. I went on for a few minutes and I thought I was getting my point across when she suddenly said in her most serious voice, "mommy but you need to whisper because my babies are asleep and you are going to wake them up".

Of course I started whispering told her that I loved her and walked out of her room.

Edited August 10, 2008 by RainofGold

[Gwen]

this last week.....

my 7 yr old brought me a small toy and a string and asked me to tie the toy to the end of the string. after doing so i asked him what he wanted it like that for. he begins to swing it in front of my face and says "now i can hypnotize you.......and when i learn to snap i'll unhypnotize you" hummm

same son last night had some leftover food on his plate i thought the dog would appreciate so i tell him to give it to the dog. we whistle for our dog and my son can't whistle yet. without discussion or hesitation he steps out side and yells "whistle, whistle, whistle" needless to say the dog didn't come.

same son lol we went to the park last saturday and there was another family there. my son askes the mother, "did i hear you say his name was samuel?" the mom says yes and they start talking. my son tells her there is a boy in his class named samuel. he askes how old her son is, 3, white blonde haired kid. then he says "well, the samuel in my class looks just like him, only he's like 8, but he looks just like him, but he has brown skin and black hair."

[MorningStar]

I've been trying to explain death and the resurrection to my son and he's had lots of questions ever since my friend died of cancer. He asked me, "Is this her first time dying?"

[rena_goldmoon]

Last week I went to my neices 3rd birthday. She was unrapping presents and when she came to one she said, "This is freakin awsome!" We all died laughing. A week or so before her mom told her I was having a baby and she asked where it was. Pointing to my stomache I told her it was in my tummy still. She said let me see and lifted up my shirt to look at my belly. She then proceeded to put her eye to my bellybutton and exclaim, "Its dark in there!" Lol!

[bmy-]

My five year old little cousin just started kindergarten this year at a private school in Georgia. Today, the art teacher was going over colors and how mixing two colors together produces a new color. After going over the examples of red and blue make purple and yellow and blue make green, my precious little cousin without any hesitation raised her hand and said:

"And, purple and gold make LSU!"

I just wish I could have seen the teacher's face!

Saw this on another board and it made me remember this thread. :)

[Tough Grits]

On the way home from getting groceries tonight my 7 year old daughter and five year old son were arguing (as usual).

The decided to have a contest to see who could count the highest.

Ryan (7) starts rattling off numbers....she stops when she gets high enough that she knows that she will win (Bubba can only go up to 20 or so).

Ryan: "Ha!"

Bubba: "Oh yeah, well I can count higher than that...1...2...skip a few...99...100!"

Needless to say that made Ryan mad, 'cause he cheated...blah, blah, blah.

:lol:

[MorningStar]

My four-year-old told me as we were going to pick up his brothers, "Mom, when I grow up, I don't want to get married."

"Why not?"

"Because that's disgusting!"

"Why is that disgusting?"

"Because if I get married, I have to get kissed! I don't want to get kissed!"

Guess we won't have to worry about him for a while.

[Tough Grits]

I was looking at my page on this site, listening to the music and watching the pics of my family...

Bubba comes over and starts watching too.

Bubba: "Hey, there's me. Yay, I like me."

:lol:

[countrygirl66]

when my oldest son was 8 and about to get baptised he came in the kitchen one day with a worried look on his face. I asked him what was wrong. He said he was worried about getting baptised, i asked him why? He said "I hope dad doesn't pray too long I don't think i can hold my breath very long i've been practicing but I don't think I can do it.

[tweedleD]

When my son was about 3 or so, he looked out the living room window and exclaimed

"Oh LOOK someone's turned the moon on!" Guess he figured lights have switches......

Made me chuckle.

[flutterbee]

We do "spotlights" in Primary where each week one child from Jr. Primary and one from Sr. Primary gets brought up front and some facts about them are shared with everyone. Today in response to "My favorite memory of time with family is..." was "to eat popcorn and watch Harry Potter and the Goblins of Fire."

[Wingnut]

Wow...I'm not sure how I hadn't noticed this thread yet! I was almost 12 by the time my little brother was born, so by the time he was old enough to say funny things, my sister and I started recording them, much to his chagrin (but Mom told us to!). A few:

*****

I realized I need to check my road rage when I was driving my brother somewhere, and from the backseat I heard "Move it or lose it buddy! Get out of the way!"

*****

Mom had to run into a store for a few minutes, and left the three of us out in the car (right in front of the store where she could see us) (you can't do that anymore...it's "abuse"). Once she was gone, my little brother said "Great! Now we're gonna kill each other!" I have no idea where it came from.

*****

In sharing time: "What do you have to do to get to the Celestial Kingdom?" My brother: "YOU HAVE TO DIE!"

*****

My dad and all three of us kids have brown eyes, while my mom has hazel eyes (mine have lightened a little over the years, but still dominantly brown). Sitting on my mom's lap one day, my brother said "Mom, how'd you get to be in this family?" "What do you mean?" she asked. "Well, we all have brown eyes, but yours are green, so how'd you get to be in this family?" (Pretty astute observation for only four years old or so.)

*****

A friend of mine had a brother on a mission. The friend's family always sat behind us in Sacrament meeting. The brother was on his mission when we moved into the ward, so we never knew him before he left. When people asked him how tall he was, he always said "six foot seven and three quarters!" He was tall, but also big. His first Sunday home from his mission, my three year old brother kept staring at him. Couldn't take his eyes off him. Finally, sometime during a quiet part of Sacrament meeting, my brother says "Mom, who's that guy that's Ryan's brother? His nostrils are GIBONGOID!" Did I mention that this was the Bishop's family?

*****

As my dad tried to teach my brother about the Priesthood, and the different offices of the Aaronic Priesthood, my brother was apparently overwhelmed. He learned that the deacons pass the Sacrament, the teachers prepare it, and the priests bless it. He repeated back, "Deacons and teachers and priests!" My mom and sister and I responded in unison, "Oh my!"

[kathysmike]

After picking my son up for a visitation, when he was around 4. He very proudly announced he had 2 moms his real mom and a step down.

[siouxz72]

ohmygoshyouguys! I was driving my daughter and her friend back to said friends house after a very exciting trip to the movies to see Twilight this weekend. Regina (Katie's friend) had a GREAT story to tell. BTW, these girls are 12 & 13. So, Regina was driving with her grandpa and somebody "flicked him off". So he responded in kind. And Gina thought he was flicking her off so she yelled at him. hahahahaha!! Flicked her off!!! tee hee...so cute!!