Could we be more inclusive?

[Sunday21]

http://www.ldsliving.com/A-Letter-to-Mormons-Mom-of-Another-Faith-Shares-Powerful-Message-to-Members/s/86092/?utm_source=ldsliving&utm_medium=sidebar&utm_campaign=popular

[Grunt]

Interesting.  Are Mormons typically not inclusive?  My experience has been the exact opposite.

[Fether]

8 minutes ago, Grunt said:

Interesting.  Are Mormons typically not inclusive?  My experience has been the exact opposite.

There is a history of Mormons not being I clusive in heavily Mormon populated areas like Utah and Idaho.

It has a lot to do with the fact that you meet a TON of people all within a few blocks of you at church every week and that tends to satisfy our social needs. This leaving is to neglect non-members.

I think it has less to do with a bad attitude toward non-members and more to do with not paying attention. Though I'm sure both reasons can be accurate.

But it isn't all bad. I told a story before of a non-member friend of my brothers that had quite the mouth at our home and even stole from my brother. This isn't a example of the personality of non-members, but an example of when families are justified in keeping a child from their home. But one could easily look at this situation from the outside and complain about us Mormons without getting the whole story (like the child's parents).

[zil]

I suspect this is really only an issue in high-density Zion - places where there are lots of Mormons packed close together, so that one's neighbors are mostly one's fellow ward members.

When your ward members are 20+ minutes away by car, and none live in your neighborhood, and only a few have children in the same school, you're more likely to be friends with your non-Mormon neighbors (I expect), same for your kids.

Beyond that, I think this is the usual scenario of "birds of a feather" - married people hang with other married people, parents hang with other parents (esp. who have children of similar ages), people who don't drink hang with people who don't drink, people who do...  It's sort of a "more bang for your buck" thing where people have friends who share (more of) their lifestyle and experiences.  I don't necessarily think it's a good thing (it leads to those who are minorities in some way being excluded even more than their minority status requires), but it's understandable.

[Jane_Doe]

53 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

http://www.ldsliving.com/A-Letter-to-Mormons-Mom-of-Another-Faith-Shares-Powerful-Message-to-Members/s/86092/?utm_source=ldsliving&utm_medium=sidebar&utm_campaign=popular

Note: everything she is saying here has been repeatedly said over the General Conference pulpit.

[Jane_Doe]

17 minutes ago, zil said:

I suspect this is really only an issue in high-density Zion - places where there are lots of Mormons packed close together, so that one's neighbors are mostly one's fellow ward members.

When your ward members are 20+ minutes away by car, and none live in your neighborhood, and only a few have children in the same school, you're more likely to be friends with your non-Mormon neighbors (I expect), same for your kids.

Agreed.  It's a function of population density, and applies to every social group.  If you  go to the same school, go to the same congregation, live on the same street, shop the same grocery store, play the same sports teams, you naturally have a tendency to become close friends with these people.  You then walk into a cafeteria, see your friend, and say "Hi let's eat together!", and so easily can complete space thinking about eating with other person you don't know as well.  

[Snigmorder]

"Mormons" is an ambiguous term.

 

[Fether]

7 hours ago, Snigmorder said:

"Mormons" is an ambiguous term.

 

? It's pretty clear to me

[Snigmorder]

1 hour ago, Fether said:

? It's pretty clear to me

One could say "the Mormons aren't inclusive." Then drive a few city blocks over and then conclude "the Mormons are inclusive."

[mirkwood]

I've been involved in this same topic in a Facebook conversation.  I'm going to cut and paste my comments.  They might seem a little disjointed...

 

 I hear these stories, but I have never seen it as described. I knew a few weird families that were like that, but nobody played/hung out with those kids. I never saw it happening growing up and certainly not anywere I have lived as an adult with children. I was not like that growing up, my friends were not like that growing up and my non member friends never complained of such things. My kids were not like that growing up, my kids friends were not like that (are not like that) growing up. I've just never seen it anywhere except as anecdotal stores on the internet.

 

I just know my personal experiences. And that is sad if people act that way.

 

H**** I never knew you were not Mormon. I never knew N**** was. None of that mattered to me, or the crowds I hung out in. I knew I had LDS and non LDS friends. Character mattered to me, not your religion. I still think that way, I raised my kids that way, and those are my experiences both as a child and adult. I'm not denying some people act that way, it just hasn't been my personal experience.

 

 Let me also add, that while I grew up as an active member of the LDS church (and still am), my mom and I were the only members and/or active members in my family and extended family. I never felt anything negative from anyone towards any of my other family members. I was never treated any different for being from a part member family. I never saw any of my family treated any different.  my part member family experience is nothing like what I see described in the article.

 

 

[Mike]

I would like to believe that in the spirit of discipleship I would ask, "Lord, is it me?" I know that it hurt when other kids wouldn't play with me or to learn that their parents wouldn't let them. It hurt even more when other kids wouldn't play with my children.