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Posted (edited)

What headline would you like to read in Monday’s Newspaper?

Jesus has arrived in Salt Lake City.

Massive Budget Surplus: Canadian Taxes cancelled for 5 years

Canada to be encased in plastic bubble: Turn Snow Shovels in for recycling.

Last Mosquito Dies: Species Now Extinct

So what headline would you like to see? 

 

Edited by Sunday21
Posted
3 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

What headline would you like to read in Monday’s Newspaper?

Jesus has arrived in Salt Lake City.

Massive Budget Surplus: Canadian Taxes cancelled for 5 years

Canada to be encased in plastic bubble: Turn Snow Shovels in for recycling.

Last Mosquito Dies: Species Now Extinct

I'm not really sure.  That's a tough one.

Guest MormonGator
Posted

Florida man recognizes lifelong dream, is new bassist for Megadeth. 

Posted
On 3/17/2018 at 9:25 PM, MormonGator said:

Florida man recognizes lifelong dream, is new bassist for Megadeth. 

From the article: When asked to comment on his new career, the bassist replied, "HA HA HA HA HA!!!! In your face MormonGator!"

Posted
On 3/18/2018 at 4:28 AM, JohnsonJones said:

Still Alive?!  Great...you get a free ticket to the Celestial Kingdom...no more worries about sin!!

 

Posted
5 hours ago, mordorbund said:

Didn't you already use this for 1 truth and 1 lie?

Uhmmmm...  Isn't that kind of like saying "I'm lying" ?

Posted
On 3/18/2018 at 6:28 AM, JohnsonJones said:

Still Alive?!  Great...you get a free ticket to the Celestial Kingdom...no more worries about sin!!

While that sounds great, I don't see how that would be a newspaper headline.

Posted

Mutual Fund Summit Global Investments U.S. Low Volatility Equity A Share Increases by 2,300% In One Day

Congress Balances the U.S. Budget and Kicks Lobbyists Out of Washington D.C.

Nine Million Members Baptized into the L.D.S. Church, Major Reformation In Nation

Posted
1 hour ago, Still_Small_Voice said:

Nine Million Members Baptized into the L.D.S. Church, Major Reformation In Nation

How about simply: Mormons Now Largest Faith In The World.

Posted
27 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

How about simply: Mormons Now Largest Faith In The World.

That is the one thing we can be sure will never happen (before the millennial reign of Christ).

Posted
4 hours ago, Vort said:

That is the one thing we can be sure will never happen (before the millennial reign of Christ).

Neither will "Last Mosquito Dies."  We're dreaming here.

Posted
11 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

Neither will "Last Mosquito Dies."  We're dreaming here.

WHAT?! You mean my "billion-dollar guy" thing is just fantasy?

One interpretation of the Harry Potter series is that Harry is a hopelessly psychotic child escaping into fantasy while his parents mourn.

Posted
1 minute ago, Vort said:

WHAT?! You mean my "billion-dollar guy" thing is just fantasy?

One interpretation of the Harry Potter series is that Harry is a hopelessly psychotic child escaping into fantasy while his parents mourn.

I've heard that.  And I have some problems with that... ehh... ehrmm.. Nevermind.

Posted
2 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

I've heard that.  And I have some problems with that... ehh... ehrmm.. Nevermind.

You have to admit, it very neatly ties up all the (many) loose ends, contradictory phenomena, and deus ex machina events that take place in the books.

Posted
4 minutes ago, Vort said:

You have to admit, it very neatly ties up all the (many) loose ends, contradictory phenomena, and deus ex machina events that take place in the books.

You could say that about virtually any fictional story.  Think about Ferris Bueller's day off.  People say that Ferris didn't actually exist.  The entire movie was Cameron's vivid imagination because of his bored-out-of-his-mind life.  But that doesn't make for a good story.  Consider what that did for Brazil.

Posted
24 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

You could say that about virtually any fictional story.  Think about Ferris Bueller's day off.  People say that Ferris didn't actually exist.  The entire movie was Cameron's vivid imagination because of his bored-out-of-his-mind life.  But that doesn't make for a good story.  Consider what that did for Brazil.

True, almost trivially so. But because of its specific, uh, creativity of storyline, the Harry Potter series lends itself more easily to this sort of interpretation.

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