Family Ties

[Guest]

As many of you know, I don't really have any warm fuzzies over thoughts of my parents or siblings.  I don't have any longing for my birth family either.  Among my siblings, I probably get along LEAST with my biological sister.  I do, however, love my wife and kids a whole big bunch.  And they, for the most part, reciprocate.  I say "for the most part" because my youngest seems quite detached from me.  He's 6 years old and still quite attached to his mother.  But he doesn't really care to bond with me at all.

None of this is to get any "woe is me" stuff out there, but to set the stage for why the following doesn't make sense to me.

My family has taken to watching Relative Race.  I hadn't heard of it until a month or two ago?  I've sat in on a couple episodes.  I just don't get it.  People that they've never met have an instant connection because of their DNA?  Where does this come from?  Why is it so important?  What is it about someone that you've never met, someone that you know nothing about, never had any kind of relationship with supposed to all of a sudden be meaningful to you simply because you share some sequence of the same four nucleotides found in all life forms?  I don't feel a kinship to a snail even though I share over 98% of my genetic code with it.  Why do people feel something simply because they realize less than 100th of 1% of their genes are the same as someone else?

While I understand the gospel principle of the Spirit of Elijah:

1) What I see on the show is not nearly the same thing in my mind because these people are not LDS and do not have any welding links that go back four or five generations to someone they found way back when.
2) I just don't have the Spirit of Elijah anyway.  I really have zero motivation to actually do any family history.  I've been dragging my feet because I just can't get into it.

So, I'm asking for advice on two things:

1) Understanding why DNA means something to people.
2) Help me understand the Spirit of Elijah.

[person0]

34 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

1) Understanding why DNA means something to people.

Perhaps, people want something to hold on to, and something to find special.  Especially when they lack the gospel in their lives.

34 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

2) Help me understand the Spirit of Elijah.

I got nothin'.  The majority of my the family history work on my mom's side has been done back more than 1000 years and it's too difficult to do most of what is missing.  It also is literally impossible for me to access any data on my Father's side, because it would all be in Jerusalem and surrounding areas (if the records exist at all).  I did my grandparents work from my father's memory (though I didn't tell him that's what I was doing).

EDIT:  I fully realize my response is completely unhelpful in actually helping to answer your questions.  However, somewhere in my mind I thought it might be useful in some way to know that someone else is similarly oblivious to the answers.

Edited April 10, 2018 by person0

[SpiritDragon]

I too have been amused by watching reactions on that particular show. I am equally stumped.

My best guess would be that people yearn for a sense of belonging, for a tribe as it were. Some find it in politics, some in religion, some in gangs and some via family among other options. I think for some people just knowing that some one is related creates a greater sense of belonging.

The spirit of Elijah is something of a complex topic to me that is intertwined with the restoration of the sealing power and keys of the priesthood which seems to also be strongly related to the Abrahamic covenant... all of which tend to seem like simple topics to others and are referenced often in church as though the meaning should be clear, yet I always feel as though there is something there that i can't put my finger on and understand completely. I only hope that with diligent study and prayer I will one day feel satisfied that I know what these entail.

[classylady]

I haven’t done a lot of research, but I have read journals and other family histories that has really helped bond me to my deceased ancestors.  Now, it’s becoming an important focus for me. It didn’t interest me for a long time. I don’t know why the spirit of Elijah wasn’t more prevalent in my younger years, but I sure have it now.

[Guest]

7 hours ago, SpiritDragon said:

My best guess would be that people yearn for a sense of belonging, for a tribe as it were. Some find it in politics, some in religion, some in gangs and some via family among other options.

I was just thinking about this as I ate breakfast this morning.

I remember thinking this about why we study our pioneer heritage so much.  Most of us do not have pioneer ancestry.  But as Latter-day Saints, we feel the stories of the founding of the Church and the trek west as well as faith promoting stories throughout our sesquicentennial+ history are the stories that are now part of us.

I remember an episode of ST:TNG where Worf was going over Klingon scriptures again with Alexander.  Alexander was getting a bit frustrated because, "You've already told me these stories, Father."  Worf replied,"These are important stories because they tell us who we are."

I also remembered that a journal of my wife's great grandmother (which I've mentioned a few times on the forum) has become another book of scripture for our family.  That book tells us who we are.

But for all these, it is the stories, the trials, the revelations, the spiritual connections, not the DNA that connects us.  That's what tells us who we are.  We can get a spiritual connection with Nephi by reading his struggles and blessings.  We can get a spiritual connection by reading about Joseph as he sat at Liberty Jail and prayed for and received Sections 121 and 122 of the D&C.  Stories are important.  Why is DNA so important?

I even posted a question on the fertility doctor thread asking about this.  And no one responded.  I just don't get it.  Why would our DNA make any difference in the world?

Edited April 10, 2018 by Guest

[Jedi_Nephite]

[Sunday21]

@Carborendum. I do family history work because I worry about/feel sorry for my ancestors stuck in some admistrative limbo. I know how I hate waiting in line. Imagine what it is like to wait for hundreds of years in some boring waiting room shuffling your feet before you can get on with that list of ‘stuff to do’. Like those endless school days when you were doing something pointless like studying penmanship ( @zil) or waiting for hours to read the comics after your little sister finished drooling on them.

I, like you? , am quite likely the only person who will ever do my family history. After me, there is no one. So until the millenium, which is taking an aggravatingly long time to get here!, arrives ...all those vivacious Scottish women, the hardworking heroines of their families, and the poorly educated but determined husbands who both worked long hours and resignedly tugged their forelocks to uncaring bosses, will sit there hoping desperately to be freed from tedium.

Did you ever see Beetlejuice? The drab waiting room for the deceased may be full of your ancestors hoping to be rescued by their hero Carb. Have mercy. Think how you hate the waiting room at the passport office or car licensing centre. Release them! 

[Guest]

27 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

@Carborendum. I do family history work because I worry about/feel sorry for my ancestors stuck in some admistrative limbo.

Food for thought.

[lostinwater]

On 4/10/2018 at 5:34 AM, Carborendum said:

But for all these, it is the stories, the trials, the revelations, the spiritual connections, not the DNA that connects us.  That's what tells us who we are.  We can get a spiritual connection with Nephi by reading his struggles and blessings.  We can get a spiritual connection by reading about Joseph as he sat at Liberty Jail and prayed for and received Sections 121 and 122 of the D&C.  Stories are important.  Why is DNA so important?

I even posted a question on the fertility doctor thread asking about this.  And no one responded.  I just don't get it.  Why would our DNA make any difference in the world?

DNA is an interesting one.  i don't think we know a lot about it.  From what little i've read, DNA is a small portion of an incredibly complex puzzle.  The real action comes from gene expression - the extent to which a certain segment of DNA is uncoiled, transcribed into RNA, and translated into actual proteins.  i tend to think that it's in this realm of gene expression/gene silencing/epigenetics that the control of spirit over the body takes place.  But that is total speculation on the part of someone (me) who has never formally studied it.  

DNA most definitely plays a role - diseases like sickle cell anemia arise from  i think like a single nucleotide being out of whack.  But DNA in most areas allows for a lot of flexibility from external and in my opinion spiritual factors.  As far as how someone recognizes a relative without prior knowledge, my thought is that perhaps that there is some sub-conscious recognition of subtle phenotypic commonalities that a (reasonably) similar genotype often results in.  Though i must admit, i'm pretty sure i would not be able to pick my 2nd cousins out of a police lineup  .  

But seriously - your kids (all of them) are one lucky bunch to have you as their father.

i've always been closer to my mother, though i i'm uncommonly fond of my dad too.  i guess i just gravitate towards the more gentle energy of my mother, and relate to my dad in an entirely different, more rare (but no less necessary for being rare) way.

and i've never gotten genealogy either.  My mothers *loves* it - and for the life of me, i can't understand what thrills her so much about it.  i just figure it must be part of her mission in life.  

Edited April 13, 2018 by lostinwater

[Guest MormonGator]

12 hours ago, lostinwater said:

and i've never gotten genealogy either.  

It's of absolutely no interest to me. I'm adopted and when I met my biological mother she gave me a very detailed and interesting family tree. Very sweet of her, and it was nice to see what nationality I am. Other than that though, I've looked it at once in the past decade. 

Edited April 13, 2018 by MormonGator

[Vin]

In terms of DNA (I've never seen the show you're talking about), I guess I would find it interesting but not interesting enough to go that much into it. I imagine if I met them, yes I would probably have a conversation maybe, a hand shake or a hug but to actually feel something I have to know someone. I can see however how someone looking in on a situation of me meeting someone and hugging them could conceive it as having a lot of emotion about it.

I'm a new convert so in terms of family history - as far as I know thus far there is just me (might be others as I branch out more). The deceased family members that I actually know something about, even if I didn't get to meet them (e.g. my mum's parents died before I was born), I more easily get feelings for because even though its second hand knowledge, I know things about them, enough to know their character somewhat and also that means I have some idea about how they might take me being baptized in their place for them.
The further I go back though, I find it harder. I can maybe find what job they did, if they lost any of their kids or if they were baptized but that's not much to go on. 

I don't know how far you are with your family history, but there's a guy in my ward he grew up mormon so finding names is probably more work. He was helping explain family history to me once and the importance of it, one of the things he is doing as part of family history is writing things down for his kids, about himself, family members, etc. So there is more connection and his own writings there for his kids to have rather than just documents. Perhaps this is something you could work on?

[seashmore]

I don't have anything for ya when it comes to DNA, other than it can be helpful in terms of medical history. 

 

As as for the spirit of Elijah, I see it as an urge to seal families for eternity. For me, that includes families I share no connections with. The spirit of Elijah is what prompts people to do indexing and temple ordinances. When I served in a stake family history center, there was a sign on the wall that said (something like), "God is planning a family reunion and we're helping." To me, this is the spirit of Elijah. I like to think I naturally possess some portion of it, although I also think that it's more apt to compare it to a muscle: the more we stretch and use it responsibly, the stronger it becomes. It explains why I felt a deep connection to a fifth-great-grandmother while preparing to do her baptism in the temple. I don't have memories of anyone who would have memories of her, but I know we'll recognize each other in the hereafter. When Sister Wendy Nelson spoke to the sisters in my area last August, she mentioned that she believes the "guardian angels" we hear so much about (and perhaps have felt in our own lives) are really our deceased ancestors protecting and guiding us to do what is right so that we can do their work and live with them someday.