Heavy Petting before Marriage

[Broncos2013]

So, my girlfriend and I recently succumbed to the temptation of “heavy petting” and we  are planning on getting married in December. I’m just worried that because of the repentance process that we are going to go through we may have to move that back. Has anyone been in this situation? I know this sounds ignorant but how long do you think the repentance process will take? I know this sounds ignorant...but I really do want to change and get this taken care of,  but my pride has me more worried about my own image than my salvation...thanks.

[Guest]

10 hours ago, Broncos2013 said:

So, my girlfriend and I recently succumbed to the temptation of “heavy petting” and we  are planning on getting married in December. I’m just worried that because of the repentance process that we are going to go through we may have to move that back. Has anyone been in this situation? I know this sounds ignorant but how long do you think the repentance process will take? I know this sounds ignorant...but I really do want to change and get this taken care of,  but my pride has me more worried about my own image than my salvation...thanks.

Go talk to your bishop and find out.  That is really the only true answer.

It is always better to confess.  It is always better to repent in the proper way.  Go through the proper processes and you'll find that your marriage will be stronger for it.  You'll probably want to move up (not back) the time table for the wedding date.  There is a reason the Church leaders recommend longer courtships and shorter engagements.

Edited April 22, 2018 by Guest

[zil]

Welcome, @Broncos2013!  The simple fact is, no one can tell you how long your repentance process will take, nor how long her repentance process will take.  It all depends on you and her, on your bishop(s), and on the Lord.  The simple fact is, the sooner you start, and the more sincere and deep your efforts, the sooner you will return to worthiness.

Do not wait a single minute.  Set your appointments immediately.  Tell the Executive Secretary it's urgent.

If you haven't already, make a firm plan to never again be physically alone with your fiancee - make sure that people can at least see you.  This may sound overly restrictive, but it's not.  The hardest part for both of you will be resisting the urge to do it again.  Don't put yourself in a position where that's even harder than necessary.

Meanwhile, if you want your wedding day to be a fond memory and a special event, you must make it so.  I promise that if you go to the temple without having confessed this sin to your bishop(s) and worked properly through repentance, you will look back on that day with regret and a feeling of unease at having entered that covenant unworthily.  Nothing is worth that.  Go and repent without concern for the impact it may have on the planned date - that's one day, your lives and that covenant are eternal.

[warnerfranklin]

Please understand that I am not trying to be insensitive, but. given the above, why would you move your wedding day back?

Paul tells us that if it is best for you to be married, then by all means, do so.  See I Corinthians 7:7-9.  

Had the two of you planned on getting married already?  Had a date been set?  Are both of you committed to living Godly lives?  Then by all means, get married so you can be intimate with one another in the proper place and time.

Until then, both of you should make it a priority not to be alone together so as to avoid further temptation.

 

 

 

[Sunday21]

I had friends who made an apppointment with city hall without telling anyone, stayed away from each other until they took the bus to city hall and ...married! Pray about it. Maybe this is the solution? 

[Lee]

Bro have some self control and don't worry about being around your fiancee alone, just because you messed up once doesn't mean you will do it again. I doubt it will take longer than 7 months to repent so you shouldn't need to push your wedding back. If it takes longer then it takes longer, you shouldn't be getting married if you don't have self control anyway. 

[JohnsonJones]

On ‎4‎/‎22‎/‎2018 at 2:46 AM, Broncos2013 said:

So, my girlfriend and I recently succumbed to the temptation of “heavy petting” and we  are planning on getting married in December. I’m just worried that because of the repentance process that we are going to go through we may have to move that back. Has anyone been in this situation? I know this sounds ignorant but how long do you think the repentance process will take? I know this sounds ignorant...but I really do want to change and get this taken care of,  but my pride has me more worried about my own image than my salvation...thanks.

The only one that knows would be your church leaders, but typically as long as you are truly repentant I expect it that it will not take over 7 months to repent if it is as you say.  Now if more went on, I do not know, but you should be completely honest with your Bishop when you go talk to him.

[askandanswer]

I hope that your desire to repent is not driven primarily by your desire to get married by a certain date. 

[Vort]

Impossible to answer. Depending on the background of the person involved, "heavy petting" could mean anything from French kissing to sexual intercourse. Even if we knew exactly what you've done, we have no authority to help you beyond saying, "Go see your bishop." So go see your bishop.

[CV75]

[NightSG]

18 hours ago, askandanswer said:

I hope that your desire to repent is not driven primarily by your desire to get married by a certain date. 

Must be a really important date if they're so determined to put off the wedding that long.