Funniest missionary story!

[Sunday21]

My best missionary story: I had noticed that the missionaries were looking a bit underfed (We have since rectified this issue!). So I invited them for roast dinner and I made an extra roast to take home. After roast number 1, the one missionary looked at me pleadingly so I presented roast #2 and...he ate the entire roast. Himself! With all of potatoes and carrots that served to fill the rest of the crockpot! That missionary has a career ahead of him in pie eating contests! So what about you? Any good missionary stories? 

[Overwatch]

I would have been so embarrassed if that was my companion. 

[Guest MormonGator]

I've told this story before, but-

I once played a trick on the missionaries using Jack Daniels and apple juice. I removed the JD and filled it with apple juice. I told one missionary beforehand what I would do. When they came to my house, I poured them "whiskey" straight from the JD bottle. One missionary happily took a "shot" and acted like he was drinking real whiskey. The other missionary came very close to going into cardiac arrest, running from my house in tears, or passing out in horror. 

[Lost Boy]

I had a companion that was 6'6" tall ex army ranger.  An awesome companion.  Fun to be around.  A bit of a troublemaker, but mostly in a good way.

Anyway.  Our apartment was about 3 floors up and the back room was about 3-4 ft away from a business hotel.  Basically a cheap hotel for businessmen.  

Anyway, one night we heard a commotion coming from the back room.  My companion got up first and rushed to the back room.  By the time I got there, my companion was holding this guy three stories up suspended between the two building with just one hand.

The guy had a cigarette in his mouth and in broken English he was saying sorry, very very sorry.  In the background in the room in the hotel from whence he came, you could see a bunch of his, what we presume to be, coworkers laughing at him.  My companion decked him with his free hand and shoved him back into the hotel room.

To our best guess, this poor sap lost a drinking game or something and the penalty was coming into our apartment.  An event I will never forget...  I wonder if the guy remembers what happened..

[anatess2]

On 8/17/2018 at 9:16 AM, Sunday21 said:

That missionary has a career ahead of him in pie eating contests! 

A long time ago we had a pair of missionaries, one from Samoa - big guy built like a line backer - and the other a Brazilian - short guy that looked like bobblehead, he was so skinny.  We took them to Cici's pizza (all you can eat pizza place) and both missionaries ate with gusto.  My husband and I were done after the 2nd plate but these guys were still going.  Every trip they put the equivalent of an entire pizza on their plate.  And by about the 5th plate the Samoan was done.  The skinny Brazilian kept on going and we all watched in amazement as he came back with his 10th plate... 

[Iggy]

I was recently single, and had the Elder Missionaries over as well as my single male neighbor. I served a LARGE pork roast, roasted potatoes, roasted carrots, lots and lots of gravy, home made soft bread sticks made with olive oil and fresh savory herbs. I also served garden salad from the huge peat pots on my patio. Leafy greens, sweet red bell peppers, sweet yellow bell peppers, nasturtium flowers minus the stamens, fresh mushrooms(from the store), fresh lemon mint snipped in with it all. After everyone had eaten ALL of the meal, there was still about half a huge bowl of salad left. One of the missionaries (wish I could remember his name, but all I do remember is his family has an Organic Beef Cattle ranch in Montana, and his Mom has her own Kitchen Herb Garden.] Well, he is picking out the jJulienne strips of sweet bell peppers, one at a time, after about three of each he asks me what they are. Without batting an eye I tell him, fresh worms from my patio garden.

He stopped mid bite, looked at the yellow pepper and said: Hmmm, knew there were yellow slugs here, but not yellow worms. Then he popped it into his mouth and ate it. My neighbor told him it was a Yellow Sweet Bell Pepper.

Oh, his companion was astonished that you could eat flowers. The only flower I had were the nasturtiums, but they were pretty colorful and tasty.

I absolutely loved to feed him. I had them over every Wednesday - and I did my best to fix a meal he had never had.

Edited August 21, 2018 by Iggy

[Emmanuel Goldstein]

One of my first dinner appointments was with a Tongan family in Sacramento. After dinner the wife asked how much pie we wanted. I jokingly said, "I want a piece the size of a dinner plate." She brought a piece that was as big as a dinner plate, with four or five scoops of ice cream and said, "If you don't eat it all, I break your arm." Needless to say, she was a strong looking lady and I did as I was told. I did not eat the next day at all.

[Traveler]

I was serving in North Bend Oregon and went to the airport to pick up my new companion (many years before airport security).  North Bend is a small airport and I was  by the tarmac waiting for someone I had never seen before.  I though I figured out the missionary when this lady broke through the gate and ran out and kissed the guy.  It turned out to be my new companion.  Sort of a long story - there was this girl that left home to go to college out of state where she got engaged.  The girl wanted to bring the boy to meet the family but there was not enough money for both so it was determined that only the guy would come alone to meet the family.  Since no one had seen or met the guy the mother sent a tie for the guy to wear so they could recognize him.  My companion wore the exact same tie.  It was awkward but we did get everything straightened out but unfortunately there were no follow up discussions.  Not sure who was the most embarrassed - I think it was me.

This particular companion was quite the guy - he played semi-pro baseball before his mission.  We did a lot of fun things - once he convinced me to go to a high school baseball game and pretend we were scouts.  He knew the part very well - the coaches sent us free hot dogs and soda (but I cannot stand soda) and the kids played their hearts out - very fun. 

A couple of times we were in a bad part of town and some teenagers were acting up.  We pretended to be FBI agents and told them we were on a stake out and they needed to clear out of the area.  Back then we did not have missionary tags but we carried an official certificate - of course it did not say anything like FBI but those were very different times from now.

 

The Traveler