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1st off, all marriages have issues, so this thought that you are missing out on a fulfilling marriage by him being overweight is rubbish. 2nd, you are missing out on a fulfilling marriage by owning his problems. His weight is his issue and his battle, it is not yours. Yes it affects you, but you cannot control it, conquer it or fight it, only he can. The thing you can do is be supportive of him. Let him know that if and when he wants to conquer this battle you will be there to help him however he asks and then drop it. I feel fairly certain that most people who are overweight, know it, don't like it and would like to be a healthier weight; they just haven't figured out how to fight it, either through strength of mind, lack of incentive, or it's not important enough at this point. 3rd, life is so incredibly short, there is no guarantee that moving on will result in a better life. In fact, (unless he is abusive, in which case yes leave) you might just find that you had a great husband and you were too blind to see it- don't wait until it is too late to see the good in him.

Marriage is more than just a pretty shirt to wear, and when it gets stained you toss it out. My husband is 200 pounds overweight. He wants to lose weight, but he easily gives in to eating JUNK food. I am 65 pounds overweight. I love breads and pastas. I also love fresh vegetables and fruits. Husband does not. He loves vanilla cookies, ice cream, chips, flour tortilla's. As the cook, food *gatherer* (shopper) - I need to NOT buy the junk food, and to have the healthy food available to him. When I ended up tossing a lot of spoiled raw veggies out because I could not consume enough of them, we bought a NurtriBullet and I attempted to juice them. I flopped, BUT he did like the Whey Protein shakes with the berries and chia seeds added to them. When he writes down cookies and ice cream on the shopping list, I start making him more protein shakes. Empty the house of the junk food. Have healthy foods available. When the banana's get too ripe, DON'T make banana bread, mash them up, put in ice cube trays, freeze them, pop them out into vacuum seal bags. Then when he and your son are 'wasting away' for want of a sweet junk food fix, whip them up a banana, milk shake. Using 1% or 2% milk. NO ice cream. My diabetic nurse/nutritionist suggested that we have one night every two weeks, where it is junk food night. Pizza, ice cream, pop corn (for him he can have pounds of pop corn, I can only have 3 Cups of popped corn). Be sure to change your attitude too - being disgusted, disappointed and angry with husband is picked up and magnified by your child(ren). Go to a Paleo diet. I do eat beans and legumes. I do not avoid glutens. We have not been diagnosed as celiac, so I eat glutens. There are fruits I simply cannot have because they are naturally too high is sugars (carbs). In the past two months Husband has lost 13 pounds (quite a bit of it was water retention, that he lost by getting off the salty chips). I have maintained. So, rather than think and obsess over ending your marriage, think and obsess over having healthier foods in the house, healthier treats available and including husband in the process of setting up menu's, preparing the meals and clean up afterwards. Nagging and negativity is not only discouraging it eats away at the spirit. Remember he is an Adult - feed yourself and your child good healthy foods, exercise with your child. Good luck.

Here are a couple of quotes that attempt to explain it: James E. Talmage "One may wonder why Jesus had forbidden Mary Magdalene to touch Him, and then, so soon after, had permitted other women to hold Him by the feet as they bowed in reverence. We may assume that Mary's emotional approach had been prompted more by a feeling of personal yet holy affection than by an impulse of devotional worship such as the other women evinced. Though the resurrected Christ manifested the same friendly and intimate regard as He had shown in the mortal state toward those with whom He had been closely associated, He was no longer one of them in the literal sense. There was about Him a divine dignity that forbade close personal familiarity. To Mary Magdalene Christ had said: 'Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father.' If the second clause was spoken in explanation of the first, we have to infer that no human hand was to be permitted to touch the Lord's resurrected and immortalized body until after He had presented Himself to the Father. It appears reasonable and probable that between Mary's impulsive attempt to touch the Lord, and the action of the other women who held Him by the feet as they bowed in worshipful reverence, Christ did ascend to the Father, and that later He returned to earth to continue His ministry in the resurrected state. (Jesus the Christ, p. 682.) Bruce R. McConkie "The seeming refusal of Jesus to permit Mary to touch him, followed almost immediately by the appearance in which the other women were permitted to hold his feet, has always been the source of some interpretative concern. The King James Version quotes Jesus as saying 'Touch me not.' The Joseph Smith Translation reads 'Hold me not.' Various translations from the Greek render the passage as 'Do not cling to me' or 'Do not hold me.' Some give the meaning as 'Do not cling to me any longer,' or 'Do not hold me any longer.' Some speak of ceasing to hold him or cling to him, leaving the inference that Mary was already holding him. There is valid reason for supposing that the thought conveyed to Mary by the Risen Lord was to this effect: 'You cannot hold me here, for I am going to ascend to my Father.'" (The Mortal Messiah: From Bethlehem to Calvary, 4 vols. [salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1979-1981], 4: 264.)

The question of when you can give up on your marriage has a simple answer. Its when you have taken all your concerns, your struggles to fix things, your sacrifices, your frustrations, to the Lord and ask him is it enough? There are many trials that this life is designed to give us to help us become more Christ-like, marriage can easy be one of those. No one here can answer the question of if the Lord would accept what you have done to preserve your marriage as enough. The only way for you to get that answer is to get on your knees and ask him

I wonder why English muffins are so delicious.

Great beeeeeeeeeg hugs to you! I can help with #2. AS that kid (who jumped off balconies aiming for Palm trees that were slanted the wrong way, and falling 2 stories i(through bougainvillea) into my mum's roses... Who did cartwheels on adobe fences 12' off the ground (and occasionally slid down them, scraping all the skin off my left side)... Who walked on a broken ankle for 2 weeks before telling my mum... 1) God looks out for children, fools, & the blind. I swear. And being a parkour chick before there was parkour (although I was a gymnast) ... We count as all three. I still think the spirit flattened me to that adobe wall and slid me down it like sandpaper. Yep. Partly in payback. But it also -physics aside, when gravity shifted to the left- totally saved my bacon. 2) Some people have high pain tolerance. Those of us who bash ourselves about as much as we did? We just don't hurt the same as other people. I don't know whether it's nerve damage, or a rocking 4th ventricle (the part of your brain that creates endorphins and natural pain killers), or what. But while stuff hurts, it just doesn't hurt us the same. 3) Lessons teach us how to do the stuff we already do SAFELY . Also, they give us a total,stranger to listen to. Not sure why we'll give a total stranger more credence than out mom,,. But it's true. We do. Mom says its stupid, we do it when she's not looking. Stranger says not to do it... We go "Huh. Yeah. I see your point. That would be stupid." Face. Palm. 4) Bob Marley. Every little Ting...gonna be alright. Q

As the heads up: I'm the "Yep. Get divorced. Yesterday." person on this board. (The lovely & brilliant Annatess my foil). My three cents? 1) Your husband deserves someone who loves him. If that's not you, please stop wasting his time, and making him feel terrible in the interim. 2) Take all the blame squarely OFF your child's shoulders. YOU control your child's diet & exercise& medical regime. Worrying that "at this rate he'll be 400 pounds by college" totally abdicates all parental responsibility, while blaming your husband for your failure to act. Don't do that. Good diet, good activity & if it's a glandular disorder, take him to the durn doctor and get his levels stabilized! 3) Some genetic lines (think Viking & Polynesian & Russian wrestling) spawn BIG people. Big HEALTHY people, so long as they keep their activity up. 350 pounds of "Never gonna be ripped like Batman, but I can make a quarterback wish they were never born" fast, strong, HEALTHY. These people are never going to be the nimble thin runners you see darting all over. These people WILL be the TANKS in underarmor (and other stretchy clothes, cause tailoring custom clothes is expensive, and their size isn't sold off the rack) who have to replace "flimsy" shoes and furniture on a biannual basis, as they make you giggle with their terminator impressions. I knew a few of these guys in the Marine Corps. (350+ pounds of grizzly bear ya never never never wanna face in a fight). Football, & hockey players, & wrestlers the lot of them. Even running 3 miles under 18 minutes 5 times a week, with about 20 hours of gym time, and 40+ hours of constant motion...my hese guys never thinned out like the rest of us. 15-20 years later... I still know a couple of them. Those who have stayed active (physically), playing sports every day, cops on the street, gym teachers, etc... Are still as healthy (and TANKS) at 40 as they were at 20. Those who moved into desk jobs & non movement? Well... They waddle a bit. If they manage to stand much at all. You met a BIG physically active guy in college. Whatever his diet & exercise program was... It was obviously working for him, as he was playing college ball. You've tried to completely change his diet, and clearly that hasn't been helpful. Have you considered encouraging your husband to go back to what WAS working? Eat as he was... But go back to training. Do something he LOVES, and is good at, and kept him fit. __________ Ahem. As a former athlete: I need 10,000-15,000 calories a day when training. Of I don't have that level, my body starts to eat itself. We're not talking "lose weight". We're talking bone loss, organ damage, heart damage. I also start stacking on weight (because my body hoarders calories) if I'm eating too few calories when exercising. It looks INSANE to people who aren't doing similar training (I remember my family -all athletes- snickering at people with jaws dropped over Michael Phelps talking about the 10k-20k he eats, all whipcord thin). In the military? Your rations depend on your environment. I never worked in the desert, I worked in mountains & jungle. Our rations were 6,000 kcal per package. 3x-5x per day. Yep. For some exercises we were stoking 30,000 calories a day. (The army moves on its stomach). Just some food for thought. Q

But your focus IS on his weight. So don't tell us that it's not about weight. That's the complaint you shared with us. You stated he was overweight (at least in your eyes) from the start when you were dating. Did you expect it to be different after marriage? YOU are the one stating that you are considering bailing on your marriage because of his weight. So, yes you are absolutely willing to divorce someone because of numbers on a scale. Should you divorce, perhaps you should limit yourself to dating only skinny (in your eyes) men, then make it clear to them that you're out of there if they go above a certain number. Or better yet, seek to understand what eternal marriage is all about.

Nine times out of ten such comments are indicative of an individual who is simply looking for confirmation of what they already want to do, so you've probably made the right call there Anatess.

I wonder if you can say them backwards?

I suspect one of the most key things will be finding out why people are inactive in your ward, to begin with. About half my ward goes "inactive" (not exactly, but also not attending scarement) once every three years... Because we've got a lot of night workers who are also parents. Which means getting off work at 4am-6am... And needing to be at church at 9am simply isn't going to happen. A few years ago someone noticed that we had no teens, whatsoever. Come to find, in our stake, there were about 50-60 teens in total, but they were spread out 2 or 3 per ward. Most of the families with teens were inactive, because a GREAT way to get teens to hate the church is to make them sit in a room all by themselves -or with one other person they can't stand- for 2 hours. So the stake designated one ward where all the youth 12+ (and their families) would go. Shazaaaaam. Did that ward's attendance skyrocket. Most of the teens, plus all of their families meant overflow into the gym every Sunday. I'm sure there are other common reasons... But these are the two I'm first-hand familiar with. Q

Garbage in, garbage out. You didn't spell anything else out. So far, all we have to go by, is what you've written... and you're writing about a number on a scale. When I asked for advice on a situation with my kids... I included a link to the pictures so I can truly convey the problem. I'm not telling you to post pictures, but the more you communicate, the better results and advice you will receive.

You're asking if someone will advise you to leave your husband because he's fat? How would you feel if your husband was going to leave you for the same reason? What would you advise someone asking the same question?

I know that this was meant to be a cross-section of real-life, sobering post, and I took it as such, but the bolded part here made me laugh out loud, Quin. I love that you find humor in life, despite the horrors you have endured. :)

I would suggest enlisting the parents: "Parents, due to the messes usually made during our activities, we ask that you not leave with your youth until we have finished cleaning up. Thank you." This way you have additional authority figures making sure the kids are doing what they're supposed to do in a timely manner. The parents want to go home, too!