ZionsRodeVos

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Everything posted by ZionsRodeVos

  1. I gave gifts to everyone my companions and I taught and baptized and I kept giving gifts to them as I could until I left the area. These gifts were mostly church related books to help them learn about the gospel more and to help their testimonies grow. I didn't do this as a congratulation for them getting baptized but as a way to help them to continue to progress even after I left the area. Everyone of them was poor and I believed it was very unlikely that they would ever have the money to get the books that many members take for granted and have easy access to.
  2. The frustrating thing for me and you will have to keep this in mind if you do go to court and are granted custody is that the court papers may forbid you from talking about any of the evidence that you have gathered/will gather and won't provide a condition of until they are old enough to understand and so my children would ask me questions that I was not allowed to answer because the court order I had forbade it. It is good that you and your children are able to communicate so well and I hope that continues. Be aware that their mom may at some point, if she hasn't already started, try and turn the children against you and/or use them as pawns even though you are not or simply try and get them to not tell you about some of her activities. And yes, your children will put a lot together even though you don't tell them, once the provision forbidding me to not talk about things related to my divorce was removed I was able to talk about it with my children and was amazed at how much they had been able to figure out on their own. I hope you can find ways to improve things for you and your children.
  3. I am very sorry for all you and your children have been through. Most of what you wrote about how your wife treats you and your children reminds me of my childrens mom. One of the key factors in me being granted custody of my four children was the Guardian Ad Litem that the court assigned. That lawyer represented the children and visited me when I had the children at least twice and visited my childrens mom while she had the children. I'm sure my documentation helped but that lawyer was critical in telling the judge which parent would see to their needs the best. I suggest you find out if in your state such a thing exists and let your lawyer know you want a lawyer . Also a home study was done which included a social worker interviewing me and talking with the children some. I too, had to wait until there was enough documentation before initiating the separation. In your case it does sound like things are made more difficult by the fact that you don't currently have a job.
  4. God is real. I don't fully understand why He does many things the way He does, but He has answered enough of my prayers in ways I do understand to leave no doubt in my mind that He is there and listening.
  5. It is not comforting to know that the US government wants to tax me more and still is going to go further and further into debt. The people who are in a position to fix the problem are not fixing it. Yes, as Pam said there is a lot the government could learn from the LDS and other people who know how to not spend more money than you earn.
  6. It definitely seems as if Christianity is becoming less relevant and many people and organizations distance themselves from religion or at least do so in public. However, in spite of all the changes brought on by science, technological advancements, the government, and so on, there are strongholds of faithful Christians, who not only do more than just attend church on Sundays but try to become more like Jesus and it is these people's influence that is still seen in songs, in books, and in communities, especially during times of disaster and crisis, and when thousands of them put their time and resources into helping others, entire countries feel the difference and know from whence the help came and are grateful for it. Children around the world experience the difference in their lives because of those faithful to the gospel. It's quite likely there are fewer people who are as devoted to following Jesus as there once were, but many of those fewer people quietly help others in positive ways and create lasting memories with those who, for now, care little for religion. More and more people believe that adhering to Cristian beliefs is too restricting and so they chose different ways to live.
  7. I like to think that the greatest thing Jesus has done for me was to bring me back to church. I was raised LDS but around the time I turned 18 I started not attending church regularly and then a couple years later I stopped going altogether. I didn't really get into the stuff I was taught to stay away from. But I didn't pray, didn't read in the scriptures, and didn't go to church for about 2 years. While deployed in Okinawa, Japan I overheard a show that convinced me that the backmasking in music I listened to was placed there by Satan. Three days later the implications of that sunk in and I decided to return to church. By that time I was 22. I got out of the military when I was 24 and went on a mission. I would have gone sooner but was stuck in the military. Since then I've only missed church when I am sick, and am dedicated to learning more about Jesus and doing my best to follow him and help others. I'm convinced that Jesus was instrumental in helping me feel I needed to return and become more like him and for that I am very grateful for I know my life is better than it would have been.
  8. I believe we are definitely declining politically and morally. And if those measures contribute to how we are doing as a country then our country is also declining. However, at this point the economy seems to be turning around (even though it is at a slow pace) and the power of the US still appears to be unmatched. The politicians currently in the congress seem unable to cooperate enough to handle things that are important until the last moment if at all. This kind of inner conflict will contribute to more problems. I still have not lost hope that I do make positive contributions in spite of how I am. I've never been the type of person to go and talk to strangers about the gospel except while on my mission but I do know that people notice the example I set as I do my best to live the gospel. Even if what I do does not fundamentally start/make a change that is noticed throughout the US, I know that the teaching I do in church makes a difference in the lives of my students. I know they feel the spirit confirming the gospel as I teach what Jesus wants them to hear. This makes it worth it to me and I know that it will have a positive influence on the rising generation (I teach the 14 and 15 year old boys at church). Even more so should I be the instrument through which the Lord works to help them gain a testimony so unshakable that they live the gospel for the rest of their lives. In this way I do make a difference.
  9. I am the type of person that often focuses on one thing to the exclusion of others. I was specifically answering what I understood to be your question as to what could motivate someone to cover up abuse. I was not trying to minimize the victim. Key portions of what I said and what I meant are that if the parent can ensure it never happens again and gets proper help for both children involved. Too me, that statement does not mean a parent is more concerned with the offender than the victim as if it were done correctly both would get exactly what they needed to help them heal and make sure it never happens again and so no re-exposing a sibling to molestation would occur. When I said in such a situation I meant that if the parent is capable of ensuring it never happens again and that each individual gets the help they need then it is a detriment to the family as a whole to remove the child from the home and then the exposing of the child removed to things the parent objects to can be a further detriment. If the parent can't ensure correct help is obtained for both which help could include consequences for the offender (that are often considered punishments) then of course the government must get involved. It is of utmost importance that sexual abuse be halted when discovered and correct action be taken against the offender and correct action be taken to help the victim and the offender and others affected by what happened. If there is no way to ensure the offender never does it again then putting that person in jail for life seems to be the best solution.
  10. I agree there won't be positive bonding between the sibling sexually abusing the other. I was not trying to be confusing. If there are three or more siblings and only two are involved then to me positive bonding can take place between one of the ones involved and one of the ones not involved.
  11. It could be that Satan is trying to prevent functional families from forming and by getting teens to break the law of chastity he plants seeds that can contribute to separations and divorces once a person gets married. Plus children are at a disadvantage when born to parents that are not married and not living together.
  12. Some people would not want to bring the abuse that you mentioned earlier to the police if the molester also happens to be a sibling of the molested and the parent views the situation as a family matter that can be resolved without government meddling - meaning the parent can ensure that it never happens again and gets the correct help for both siblings. In such a situation the motivation could be to ensure one child is not torn from the home, severing positive bonding with siblings not involved, and then the child removed from the home is forbidden to attend church and participate in church programs that could help and while isolated from family in such a way, is introduced to things the parent does not approve of such as objectionable music and video games that drive away the spirit.
  13. I don't believe anger has to be the emotional response in this situation. Sadness could be the emotion a person could feel and then call the police and press charges to ensure it did not happen again.
  14. I almost always say short prayers while at the same time trying to give thanks for things everyone can be thankful for and asking for things that I feel everyone needs. The reason I give short prayers is because I can remember my dad in family prayers and others giving long prayers while I was a teen or younger and feeling it was interminably long. I am sure many of the primary children and teens in sacrament meeting and other meetings feel the same way. I feel it's fine they get to sit through some long prayers but it is also nice to get some short ones so I give short ones (in public) that get right to the point with few words and are simple and sincere.
  15. I believe a powerful example of Satan's power is found in Joseph Smith History 1:15-16 when Joseph went to pray vocally. A power, which I understand to be Satan, seized Joseph and prevented him from speaking and Joseph said he felt as if the power would destroy him. Too me, those are physical means that Satan can use to directly influence a person. 15 After I had retired to the place where I had previously designed to go, having looked around me, and finding myself alone, I kneeled down and began to offer up the desires of my heart to God. I had scarcely done so, when immediately I was aseized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such an astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak. Thick bdarkness gathered around me, and it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden destruction. 16 But, exerting all my powers to acall upon God to deliver me out of the power of this enemy which had seized upon me, and at the very moment when I was ready to sink into bdespair and abandon myself to destruction—not to an imaginary ruin, but to the power of some actual being from the unseen world, who had such marvelous power as I had never before felt in any being—just at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of clight exactly over my head, above the brightness of the dsun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me.
  16. Yes. I was in 3rd Battalion 5th Marines for most of the 4 years I served active duty.
  17. I doubt I understand anger very well since I seldom get angry. I don't even know why I rarely get angry and shake my head at how very little things cause my children to get angry. I believe that if a person is able to control their anger in such a way that it does not hurt anyone (and by hurt I mean physically, emotionally, and spiritually) then it can be used for good. A key word here is control, it seems to me most people, once they are angry, they lose (or claim to lose) control of their actions. When children are abused because someone got angry then I would say that anger was not good. I don't believe anger is helpful with raising children. I've also had people ask me if I am angry when I did not feel angry so as others have mentioned I understand how some actions can appear as if a person is angry when it is really something else.
  18. I was thinking of the military too when I read this. I was in the military during the first gulf war and my unit was sent there. I remained behind because I was in supply and I ordered gear from Camp Pendleton and shipped it to my unit. However, if I would have been on the front lines I would have been shooting to kill because that is what you do in the military and I would have felt as Captain Moroni did in that this was allowed because I would have been following military orders and my leaders believed it was necessary for the defense of our country. I view espionage the same way. The knowledge someone in espionage would be seeking would be to help those in charge better defend our country. Of course, for myself, I would not take a job like that because I wouldn't want to learn how to be deceptive. But that is just me.
  19. Wow so much to think about. Thanks for all your replies and willingness to discuss this with me. As I was reading the parts about faith I thought about certain aspects of my life and find it interesting how I employ faith to show up at church every Sunday hoping to learn new things and at the same time teach things in a way that the young men I teach will feel the Holy Ghost and learn. And yet at the same time I fail utterly to use faith to do my home teaching. Some people do learn during an open book test as they must read things to find the answers to the questions, the questions simply guide the person being tested to the answers the teacher wants the student to learn and understand. Those verses in Romans are interesting too. I didn't really expect someone to calculate out how long it would take. Even if I did this, I wouldn't understand everything I read, just as I don't understand every scripture I read. And what some of you said got me to thinking that God likely has faith that all of us can do what we must to become like him and so because of that he took the time to create the world and set everything up and in motion for us to give it a try while at the same time he knows not all his children will become like him. Also it seems to me that knowing everything then does not prevent the use of faith.
  20. I like that quote. From a talk he gave in April 1982. The next question that came to mind is I wonder if there is time for one person to read all the prophets have ever said. I realize its likely not necessary for salvation, but each talk given packs so much information.
  21. If it is to protect us in the way you describe that makes sense. I don't think I've thought about it like that before. I guess I am thinking about things in ways that are not helpful to me, such as viewing this life as one long test like the ones at school that I did not enjoy. I hear trial so much and often equate that to a test rather than thinking of it as a series of events to be experienced. And having us gain these experiences with the least amount of risks to us and having a plan that provides us, with our premortal memories hidden from us, a way to get past everything and make it is very loving and kind. Now, I want to see if I can find scriptures that explain it in such a way.
  22. You all have given me a lot to think about. Does God really have faith? I may be oversimplifying, or mis remembering, but didn't Alma teach that once you gain a sure knowledge in a thing your faith is dormant which I took to mean that it was replaced by knowledge. If it is as simple as that then I would think God has no faith because he knows everything. I can see that if it is faith we need to experience here then having the knowledge of our pre existence would prevent us experiencing faith if it is limited to being something not seen which is real. However if God does have faith and knows everything then once again I fail to see how we could not develop that same faith while having a knowledge of our pre existence. I would think that everything else we could learn here with or without our memories of the pre existence.
  23. That brings up other questions which include why we need to live be faith. I know I'm just using my limited ability to think here, but I don't remember ever really liking tests in school and a test that last 100 to 120 years just seems a bit too much at the moment. I question why this test is needed if it really is. Unfortunately, I am still struggling with my faith with respect to prayer and don't seem to have enough faith I'd get an answer on such a subject. I'm not in Utah. I've made a note of this book so that I can track it down.
  24. I can't believe I didn't keep track of this thread. I was considering starting another thread about prayer since I haven't made much progress with this but wanted to make sure I didn't say the same thing and I would have. Thanks again to everyone who replied. My problem is that I don't always remember things, just as I forgot about much of what was in this thread although it came back to me as I read your replies again. Since I posted I feel that one of the prayers that I had offered a lot may have finally been answered even though it was not in a way I expected. Basically, I had been trying to know when the right time to move came and I don't think I ever felt the right time had come although it may have simply been that I didn't want to initiate the upheaval. Anyway, I was on a month to month lease and the group that manages the place gave me just over 30 day notice to move out. It was a difficult time for us as we ended up living in a hotel for about a month but finally everything came together and I was able to buy a house with more space than we had before and only my youngest had to change schools which has turned out to be a good thing for her.