ZionsRodeVos

Sure it is a disturbing trend. It will not surprise me if the trend continues but it will not go so far to make organized religions extinct or near extinct. People affiliated with religions will be persecuted more and more as time passes and it is possible that governments will take away religious rights. I doubt any of that will stop many faithful from having religious meetings and openly declaring their religion.

I read the article in the link. I believe it is highly unlikely that organized religions will cease to exist in the countries named in the article. And I doubt it matters how much time passes. As long as the governments allow religions to be officially organized, there the LDS church will be and no matter how unpopular it becomes to say one goes to church every Sunday and is a member of the church many faithful members will have no problem saying they are active members. Whoever did this is trying to put a mathematical formula to peoples beliefs and in my opinion you can't do that.

I've tried to figure out how women seem to manage everything and some men in the same situation can't. This was one of the main reasons I joined a parenting forum. I separated from my children's mother about 6 years ago and divorced her a few years later. I'v had custody of our 4 children for about 5 years now. They range in age from 15 to 10. The youngest is the only girl. I asked lots of questions of the women on the parenting forums I've been a part of, especially about girls. One told me how to braid hair. Others helped me know what kind of nail polish to get for my girl. I learned these things because they were ways I thought of to do things with my daughter and at the same time didn't require too much time and gave me something to do with her instead of just all boy things. I've considered having help in the home too. For a while I had a house keeper. I've debated the pro's and con's of a live in nanny. I've considered getting a cousin to come out here and help as I too am far from any family. If hiring a guy I'd be concerned about my daughter. The reason I haven't seriously considered a female is because my custody order specifically prohibits a female sleeping at my house while my children are there. If not for that then I know I would have gone through the wondering about it and wondering if I should ask my bishop. My children help some but more help would be nice. I've managed to learn a lot but still struggle to find enough time for everything. My children do bring down the dirty clothes and take their clean clothes and put it upstairs. I put the loads in and sort the clothes into baskets in the laundry room. There is one for each of them. My children make their own meals. Each time I go shopping I buy what I know each will prepare in the microwave (most of the cooking happens there) or on the stove. A set schedule which include time to do a few chores has helped a lot so that they all know what to expect and when as the evening winds down to bed time. I think the suggestion about getting your children to help with the cooking as much as possible will help you out a lot. Then get each of them to do a few chores a day if possible and this will help a lot.

I've often told my children (including recently) with people guessing when the world will end, it is possible for someone to guess right, but that still doesn't make it anything more than a guess. I guess I should publish my book as is now and hope for some form of success before the end.

I have been giving my children an allowance for a few years now and they have learned what it feels like to be broke when we go shopping and they often have goals of what they want. I mostly let them do what they want with their allowance. Sometimes they save for something specific but most of the time they spend it. They usually buy toys with their allowance and not a lot of candy or food.

It may help if you can approach explaining to him about boy friends and how they can become spouses in ways that you haven't before in case there is a lack of understanding about that for him. Another thought that comes to my mind is maybe to have a discussion about families and ask if a mom and a dad has a child and then has a baby does this mean they love their first child less? Does it mean they spend less time with the first child? Then add a few more children into the mix in your example, possibly arriving at a family with 12 children and ask your son if he thinks time for mom or dad to spend with each child will be the same or more or less than when they only had 2. Then ask if they think the love for this example families children is less from when they had 2 and when they had 12 children. It may just be that this will at least help him to see by you cuddling or holding hands with your boy friend doesn't mean you love him less. Since your son likes spending time with him ask if he'd like to spend more time with him. If yes then that may allow you to let him know that you also would like more time with your son and with your boyfriend and some of the time you spend with your boyfriend you would like to spend it holding hands with him. Who knows the conversation could lead to that if you like your boyfriend enough that you'd marry him and then your son would get to spend even more time with him. I realize this last part might be a bit much to tell him but it all depends on what you feel will work to help your son feel better about your holding hands with your boyfriend.

I doubt I have much to contribute to this thread. I thank all of you who have expressed how you feel being your husbands second wife and your reactions to their ex's. This is something I haven't put much thought into yet, mostly because I haven't even dated since divorcing my children's mom. And I would be (perhaps I should say would have been) one of those guys that wouldn't bother with a ring if I get remarried. My memory is already faulty and so reading all of this just makes me think I will have to make sure if I do get married again that I need to do something or somethings to ensure my first night after getting married is memorable. I would love to leave everything that went wrong with my first marriage in the past but suspect that my childdren's mom will not leave it in the past. And classylady I did not take anything you said as whining or being a cry baby but as legitimate worries and concerns and feelings. I hope you continue to communicate with your husband and get everything worked out so that the hurt feelings will no longer trouble you.

From my experience here is what I learned and understand. It seems to me there are differing degrees of love. I believe the love found between a couple in a marriage is mostly, if not entirely, gone by the time the marriage ends in divorce. This does not always mean that the love for them as a person is gone too, but the love for them as a partner is gone or mostly gone. I can see how people can question after the marriage is over if they were ever in love with their partner or not because I have wondered this as well. From where I am now I have no love for my children's mom as a partner. I do know of a couple that were married where one person said they never loved the other. I have trouble completely understanding how this could be. Just as I have trouble thinking I was never in love with my children's mom. After a certain amount of time of living together I would think there would be some love. As a bit of background I was married for about 9 or 10 years before I separated from my children's mother and later divorced her. I know I loved her when I married her. From my perspective now it seems to me that over time we allowed that love to dwindle and fade away due to doing less and less together and talking less and less and so that love that made me want to marry her faded. A few weeks prior to me separating from her I thought the love I had for her as a partner was completely gone. I was wrong. It took another year or so before the last of my feelings for her as a partner were finally gone. I doubt I experienced the love that is possible between a couple when they are trying to make that love grow. For me it seems it was a slow deterioration that began near the beginning of my marriage. When I married her I felt I knew her very well and I considered her my best friend. Of course looking at things now I wonder how much I really knew her and it seems I didn't know her enough.

I have watched the Lord Of The Ring movies many times and have the first and last shows on DVD. I know I've read the Hobbit and hope they get the movie about it done soon. I don't remember if I read the LoTR books or not, probably not. I do own a thick book that has all three in it but just haven't gotten around to reading them. I like the movies too much I guess.

I am also working on a novel and hope to become a full time author. I am planning to self publish my book as an e-book once finished.

I am an SQL Programmer. I work with SQL Server databases.

My thoughts are similar to this. I would hope that my pets feel I treated them well enough that they would want to be around me after this life. And if it is all left up to the animals who they hang out with then that would answer the question of who they go with if they were owned by more than one person in this life.

I've often wondered if all pets got to their owners after this life. I hope so. I'll have a lot of cats.

Thanks for the welcomes. We got about a fourth of an inch of snow and the schools are closed for the day because of it. Not all the side streets were plowed and I did slide a little while driving so this helps me to understand but I often fail to understand how so little snow can close down all the schools in a county. Plus, I grew up in Utah and I never remember schools closing when it snowed.

I joined here in April 2008 and introduced myself. I just looked at that introduction as I was thinking of just replying to it to revive it. I had planned to be more active than I was here but I let many things get in the way. I have returned and plan to participate more here. Hopefully I fit in and can find things to say. I am going to reintroduce myself. My name is Robert. I still live at the same place in Virginia. I am divorced and have custody of my four children who live with me. Willem is the oldest (15 and a half), Adonis is 12 and a half, Liem is 11 and a half, and Sharleen is 10. I am working on a fantasy novel that I plan to self publish once finished and hope to change my career from being an SQL Programmer to a writer. For now I plan to remain at my day job as long as I can until I start bringing in enough money selling books. Last night and the night before we played with our Lego bricks. We have a number of buildings, vehicles, and space ship/fighters. These play times have likely been some of the happier moments we've had recently. We also play multi player computer games together from time to time and other times just play computer games individually. We usually go camping once or twice a year. I'm glad to be back and hope to become friends with many of you here.

I am 42, separated from my children's mom in 2005, was granted custody of our 4 children in 2006, and divorced in Feb 2009. I am ready to date again. I have debated how and when to introduce my children to anyone I date and believe it is going to depend on the person I am dating. I've told my children that I can start dating again and about the only way they are going to know is if they are at a sitters. I will let them know if they ask but I am not going to intentionally announce every time I go on a date and in fact will likely plan dates when my children are visiting their mom. I won't have a problem with going on a zoo outing with my date and her children and include my children if it feels right and will simply present the person as a friend which is all she would be unless things were serious. I wouldn't have enough outings for my children to get attached to that person but once I am comfortable with a woman I do want to have some idea of how she interacts with my children and how they interact with her. My children are 8 and a half, 10, 11, and 13 and a half. The 11 year old is the most resistant to the idea of having a step mom but I am convinced that if he likes a woman then he won't have a problem. Just like he has a problem with many of the women at day care but not all of them even though the few he likes have had to discipline him; but it is the way they handled the situation that seems to count with him. In some cases my children already know the children and/or woman I may date because we go to the same church. As someone mentioned they know a couple getting a divorce because they couldn't agree on things about their children. I would want to know about such things before marrying someone, at least as much as possible, and that can only happen with some interaction between each others children. I believe that there are people that will not put their children before mine but treat them the same. This is what I plan to do which I believe will help make a second marriage work. To avoid confusion I have had a few discussions with my children about dating and how me dating could impact them (meaning they go to friends house or have a sitter) and that just because I date a woman once doesn't mean I am marrying her. I believe discussions about dating that are appropriate for your children will help avoid confusion when you do start dating and introducing them to dates. I wish you much happiness as you search for a companion.

I can relate since I was shy when younger. I don't know if I can explain how I became less shy. I do know one of the things that I did when I was shy that didn't help me get any friends. Because I was shy whenever anyone (for me it didn't matter if it was a boy or girl) asked me a question I would simply answer the question but give absolutely no additional information. Since serving a mission I have learned that to maintain a conversation I must give a little bit more than just the answer to the question and so in such a way I feed the conversation and it continues. But when I was shy I wasn't even interested in maintaining a conversation either so I didn't care. Now that I know this if I want a conversation to end and at the same time don't know how to tell a person nicely to go away I simply give short answers and don't feed the conversation. I believe my mission helped me to become less shy, however I do remember becoming less shy a year or two prior to my mission. Now that I think of it I think it was because the girl was so nice and friendly and that is what helped me. I was 22 or 23 at the time that I first started dating. Before that I was too shy and not interested in girls. One thing I do remember is that it was a slow process and I had to learn how to socialize. Always in school I only had a few friends. I didn't mind though since I was mostly a loner and liked doing things on my own and I am sure that contributed to me remaining shy. You seem to want to break out of being shy. I see that as very positive. I do not know if this will help but if you haven't tried it before then it may be worth a try. Find something you are comfortable with doing for example playing a board game or soccer or scripture study or something. Then find an opportunity to do what you like with others in your ward, even if it means you do the inviting. If your birthday is coming up then you could plan to play your favorite board games at your party and hand out invitations to the people you want to be there. The reason I say this is that if you are doing something you enjoy and are comfortable with the hope would be that your mind wouldn't go blank if the person you are talking to happens to be a guy because you know how to keep the game or activity going. I was thinking about how I am less shy when talking in Spanish (I served a mission in the Dominican Republic) than in English and the thought came to my mind that if you are interested in languages maybe you can find a guy that knows one you would want to learn. I hope that if none of what I have said seems helpful to you that at least something I said may spark an idea for something that you can do.

I have a few experiences that may help. I have not had a temple recommend for a while due to me letting various minor things get in my way. I have not felt ever that anyone in my ward has looked down on me because of it. Really most of the members have very little way of knowing if I am going to the temple or not because even though they may not see me at the temple on Ward or Stake temple days that does not prove I don't have a temple recommend it could simply mean that when they have those Ward or Stake temple days that my schedule does not allow me to go. Looking at it from that perspective then it will most likely only be a handful of members such as the Bishop and his counselors and the Relief Society President (in your case) or the Elders Quorum President (in my case) that could/would know. I am in no way trying to say it is not important to go to the Temple and I am working towards getting a recommend again but just pointing out that I believe there would be few members that know if you have a temple recommend or not. As for the tithing I think if you pay as much tithing as your husband allows that should be good enough for God. I suggest you speak to the bishop of the ward you are currently attending. Again I can give you an example from my life. The woman who was my wife stopped paying tithing on her income many years before our divorce. I simply paid tithing on my income and the years I paid tithing on all my income I declared myself as a full tithe payer because I felt that my income was in my control and it was my responsibility to pay tithing on it and the other income was not in my control and so was not my responsibility to pay. I am sure you can be baptized and be the best member you can be and you will be able to work out how to pay tithing and know that you are doing the best you can in that area.

Another perspective to look at is that great blessings are given to people for helping missionaries. It could be that there are many members of your ward that need those blessings right now and they won't know you need help with your mission unless someone tells them. In this case it sounds like your bishop has asked you to tell them. I don't know if this next suggestion is allowed but you can ask your bishop if its OK for you to let the members know by announcing your need either in sacrament meeting or in priesthood and/or relief society. It also sounds like this is a test of your faith. You need to believe that your new bishop knows what he is doing and do what he has asked to the best of your ability. Maybe talk with him or with the elders quorum president/high priest group leader and ask them if they know anyone who would be financially able to help you out and then approach those people. What the current missionaries have suggested is a good idea too and worth doing but I don't recommend you set aside your bishops council to you simply because you feel the members of your ward can't help and simply because it would be easier to talk to one or two people than to talk to many people in your ward. Please don't feel betrayed, I agree with Alana that the adversary is trying to frustrate you even before you start your mission and if he succeeds then it will hinder your efforts during the mission. Keep in mind that God will not allow you to be overwhelmed. Trust in him always and pray to him for guidance and he will help you understand what you need to do in this last month before you start your mission.

You are a strong person for going ahead and being baptized even though you knew your family would not like your decision. I was a missionary and taught many people who would not get baptized because of how they believed their family would react negatively. It will take a lot of patience and discipline on your part to help your family understand. Since they believe that Mormons are not Christians that may be the first thing you can help them understand. Probably not right away. With praying and fasting and your example that can do wonders for how they feel about your decision. I had a friend who joined the church and was told be people that we were not Christians and that all we talk about was Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon. I helped him by showing him a copy of the Ensign I had and showed him how each Apostle at the end of their talk gave their testimony of Jesus Christ. That helped him. Maybe something similar can help your family. I agree with the others find any way you can of communicating with your family in a way that shows you care and love them.

I must say I have found this thread very interesting to read. spiritseeker I have never considered an unmarried man to be a menace to society and don't recall ever hearing anyone say that in church or at church activities. I grew up in the church. I can understand the feeling about if a woman would ever want to marry someone like me since I am almost 42, divorced, and have custody of my 4 children. So with everything I and my children are now I am trying to figure out how to date and I live in Virginia and as far as I can tell happen to be in a ward with no single women my age and no singles ward for people who are 31 and older. I know our situations are not the same but I do believe there is hope for you and hope for me. We just have to look. So I did one of the few things I could think of to do and signed up for an online dating site. I also am considering visiting other wards nearby if my callings don't keep me at my ward every Sunday. I do not consider myself good at dating and am simply hoping that being myself will be enough. I wish you the best in your search for a best friend you can eventually marry.

Thanks for all your replies, and help! I will discuss with the bishopric about also using the Preach My Gospel manual. It is the first counselor who gave me the student manual for me to teach from and when I was set apart he gave me about five or more in English and two in Spanish to give to the people they are going to invite to the class. So I am thinking they have already decided they want me to use the Missionary Preparation manual. I finished reading the first chapter and am already formulating some ideas on how to present it. I'll be reading it a second time soon and at that time I will begin to mark what I will use. And yes, I will be doing a lot of praying.

Thank you! That is a manual I was thinking of getting to help me out. Preach My Gospel. Another mentioned in the Missionary Preparation manual I have is True To The Faith. I'll need to get a copy of that one too. I think I should have clarified more. I will use the Missionary Preparation Student Manual that I was given (if no instructor manual is available) and from that decide what to use in each class since it looks like there is more info in one lesson than can be shared in a 50 minute class. I did find some questions to ask in the Points to Ponder section. So I will use those in each class.

Thank you for the link! I went to the main site to see if they have an instructor manual and did not see one there. I'm guessing that means there isn't one and so I am going to have to decide what to focus on for each lesson and formulate my own questions.

I was recently called to teach a missionary preparation class in Sunday School. I was just released as a primary teacher and taught the class of seven year olds that turn eight. So I am used to a manual that tells me what questions to ask and what to prepare. All I was given is a manual called Missionary Preparation Student Manual Religion 130. Is there an instructor manual for the same class? My class starts on the 25th of January. So I have time to get the manual if it is available locally. In the meantime I am reading the first lesson in the manual I have to start preparing for the class. I have looked on line but so far have not been able to find if there is or is not an instructor manual for this class.