ryanh

Perhaps I could have worded that better. However, the absence of any reference to you, or your thinking, was intentional. There was no thought on my mind about 'narrow thinking'. I honestly was attempting to provide feedback that by limiting the role, nature, and actions of Jesus to a very specific set of beliefs, many Christian sects are automatically excluded. I had no intent to comment on your thought process. Didn't even cross my mind. I do see where that rhetorical question could be taken as an affront. My appologies. I don't want to offend. Trust that fellow beings of the human species are giving valid feedback, whatever the mode of communication, is, again, not intended in the least to comment on the breadth of your thoughts or thought process. I think it was already addressed regarding the misuse of the word "faith" in the secular sense to mean "trust" rather than religious faith. Honestly, I had absoutely no idea, and there was no way to know one way or another. I thought I was being friendly and offering a real world solution that would fit your needs and make your task much easier. Was this suggestion really truly offensive?Perhaps I'm splitting hairs just a little too finely, but I'm still interested in where I attacked your character. You said character, and I can rely on nothing but the words posted here. If you meant something other than character perhaps we need to clarify that to have an understanding dialog.

I would appreciate if you could point out where I attacked your character. I didn't have such intent, and if I did, I would like to understand where so that I might avoid doing something similar in the future. I seriously was not aware of one comment or insinuation regarding character, and honestly would like to understand where I offended.

Many community colleges offer basic courses that introduce people to the religions of the world. I took one such class myself. It would seem that your labors would be made much easier if you were to leverage the understanding of the textbooks for such a class rather than trying to reinvent the wheel. In this manner, you can obtain true, objective, and clear synopses of the various religions of the world from experts on the subject matter. If you wanted to learn about milk, you would not go to a dairy farmer, but a agriculture expert. Dairy farmers would know about the intricate details of milk production and harvesting, but not be the best source for info on milk. Faith in people and their intents does not equal faith in deity. I fully understand you are an atheist, and what that means. I don’t need to be yelled at with 13 exclamation points in a short post – esp if you want to engage in productive dialog. Your extreme reactivity is not helping your cause in the least.

You really, truly, can't grasp why that is not palatable can you? Perhaps you just need to have a tiny bit of faith, that when multiple people plainly (both sarcastically, and in incredibly friendly manners) tell you they do see patent bias, it actually is there, whether you tried to or not. I'm not so sure many "Christian" sects would fit into that narrow description anyway.

WooHoo! It's so pretty out the window!!! I won't have to mow my lawn for several months! Lots of good comes from the white stuff falling from the sky.

What??? Just a little to early in the am down under to think clearly? Heaven forbid a Bishop take steps to ensure that the temple remain undefiled, or that the sacrament is passed only by those whose priesthood is in effect. Funny, I just read an Apostle say otherwise. Whatever. That's some very unsound advice. I would never suggest a person not seek help from a problem that cankers souls. Your downplaying the issue of porn as 'not very serious' is directly contrary to that which has been said by prophets and apostles for the last four decades. Plainly poor advice Charlyc.

What happened?

Had somewhat of a similar discussion after a week out of town this last January. I can fully understand why you feel the need to seek resolution. My only suggestion is to be as calm and prayerful as you possibly can be. Even though you feel you have to push the issue, you want to come out on the other side feeling you are not at fault, you did the best possible, and without regrets. Good luck.

One thing I've observed watching people: What people expect from others is more a reflection on themselves more so than on the reality of the situation.How does this apply to you Snowwhite? From what is posted, it appears you are far more judgmental and harsh on yourself than other people likely would be. That appears to be heavily coloring your expectations to be different from what reality would be. Your stake pres would care. Expecting such harsh judgments from others is exactly how Satan would want you to feel. he wants to keep you isolated, and without the love and support that you rightly deserve. If you can't go to your bishop now, go to some sisters you can trust, or the stake pres. He will hear you out. Been there. Done that.

Uh oh! What did I do now?

That's the one I was thinking of!!! I can remember just from the title. SO MUCH more enjoyable for me to read that and understand the why than to read something like Kimball just harping on no, no, no, bad, bad, bad. Thank you for the reminder of where I read it. Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments I agree with that in part, but it's also a potentially dangerous line of justification. Whether or not a person feels guilt for something isn't the only definition of right or wrong. Some things can be wrong, even if person doesn't feel guilty for it. Ok, tangental sarcastic, deeply bitter comment - I 'know' one woman that apparently doesn't.

I went to bed last night, having read those two portions of posts, wonding how on earth that could be reality, and any but the most impotent of young men having a chance to be found "moral". Heaven forbid any unmarried male under the age of 45 being given a temple recommend! AMEN!I hadn't heard too many misconceptions about oral. Pretty clear case of problems there unless one is trying really hard to justify. The selfishness of the use of procreative powers in self-masturbation is wrong, even though the world would like to tell us otherwise. Sometimes I get a little worn from hearing over and over just the prohibitions without understanding "why". I'm definitely a 'tell me the purpose' guy. I recently read an article that laid this out clearly. Wish I did a better job at keeping useful talks/quotes organized. Basically, since procreation is so central to the plan of salvation, the manner in which the plan is carried out and new spirits come to earth, it is an honor and great responsibility to have been given such a power, and as such, should be treated with the reverence and respect it deserves. He has only authorized it's use within the bounds of marriage.

From what I understand (and I don't want to represent myself as any sort of expert - just someone who has had to do a lot of reading on the subject) the most common issue faced in trying to treat ADHD medically is the imprecision of methods available now. One medication will work like a charm for one person, but for the next, it offers only limited help. Has he tried various meds at various dosages, or was his Dr a general practitioner that just threw whatever medicine at him that the most recent marketing representative touted? If he's not finding adequate relief of ADHD symptoms, perhaps he should look into seeing if there are better meds out there for him. Then again, it could be that the ADHD is under control, and it's just standard 'ol addiction residual from prior experiences. It took many years for the very limited amount of porn I viewed as a teenager before I was baptized to finally leave my mind completely. It was a long slow process.

Can I make a small modification to that? A "best" friend may (since the choice of bf is ours alone), but a true friend wouldn't.

So sad that there are so many young (and even older) people desperate for love and attention that they will turn to unhealthy, and ultimately, unfulfilling ways in attempt to get their emotional needs met. My heart goes out to all such. Two thoughts come to my mind. 1) You will be susceptible to such reactions to the affections of others until you are able to feel love for yourself, and our Heavenly Father's love for you. Wish I could remember the article, talk, or post I vaguely recalls seeing that put this so well and so compassionately. When a person finally is able to truly feel the unconditional love of Heavenly Father, they can be freed of so many of life's ills. When we are so desperate for acceptance and love, we ought to be turning to our perfect Heavenly Father to obtain those feelings rather than flawed people who will only bring us misery. 2) We are warned, pretty clearly, in the Book of Mormon to "not procrastinate the day of your repentance". Such sound advice! There may be some very significant obstacles to meeting with your bishop and engaging in the necessary confession steps for repentance. But, it is needful, and not something you should be putting off in deference to worldly concerns.

I'm right there with you LM! It wasn't until I saw a whole bunch of laughs at the bottom of the OP that I began to really question what this was all about. DOH!

Please don't waste my time like this. Not even close to being comparable situations. Where did you even get "clinical details" from? No wonder people are having a hard time not judging the bishop - all sorts of garbage is apparently being inferred.

Oh great, not really sure I really wanted to read those thoughts. The next couple years aren't going to be fun. No wonder my Stake Pres was warning so strongly that I'd certianly face temptation.

I spent 1/2 of my mission in the south. Saw plenty of that 'lulling into false security' going on down there.

In the same line of thought, but in reverse, many non-LDS misunderstand what LDS mean when referring to works. I can't help but think the percieved differences between many sects is much larger than reality simply because of semantics. So many think LDS thoughts regarding "works" it is the antecedent to the Atonement, when in reality it is not. No, doctrine teaches we CANNOT save ourselves. It is an impossibility, and we are wholly dependent on the Savior. They miss that our beliefs are the middle ground - that we rely wholly upon the Savior, but believe we must qualify, as commanded, through obedience.

Bingo! And Lost, my apologies for never getting around to that post regarding why ADHD makes you so much more susceptible to such an addiction that I said I was intending to make. Not sure I can explain it really well anyway. But the whole endorphin and self-medicating via this route is the issue. It's not that you truly "hunger for sin" as you titled one thread several months back. It's self-medication for how miserable you feel inside.Jonathan Halverstad touches upon this in his book re ADD and Romance (as well as several other books I have read on the subject also touch upon it, but Jonathan had a really insightful passage). Jonathan has ADHD himself, and describes having ADHD as always ‘not feeling well in one’s own body’. Wish I could find the passage again where he describes that. It’s that feeling, and the restlessness of the mind, that drives people with ADHD to self-medicate, self-stimulate the endorphin system through various behaviors. Those with ADHD are facing a need, a drive to feel better that is much stronger than those without ADHD. That is coupled with the fact that when a pwADHD does get the self-stimulation, it actually means more to them than the average individual. The stimulation unlocks the problems impeding normal function of the pre-frontal cortex, so the pwADHD gets a feeling of finally being able to think outside of the fog, to feel emotionally stable, to focus. So, the benefits of that endorphin release are much more rewarding than typical. I’ve followed your posts on this topic for quite a few months now. I remember all the steps you’ve tried. (covenant eyes -or whatevet it was called didn't really change the internal drive, did it?) All the berating from others that you just need to become emotionally/mentally stronger. I say hogwash to it all. Treat the root cause – a simple chemical imbalance in the brain (and I’ll gladly stand with you, and say, if that makes you ‘defective’, than SO AM I – I firmly believe that is NOT the case). Treat it with non-habit forming medication rather than porn. Love you bro! Wish you could get past this and feel better about yourself!

I can clearly see how those with differing understandings and background would think that the suggested wording does change the meaning. However, one of the clearest (to me) indications in the New Testament that the added wording to 3:16 wouldn't change it's true and intended meaning is the parable of the 10 virgins. There will be many that clearly know of the Lord (all 10 gathered in preparation for his coming), who think they will be joined with Him (their sins Atoned for through the at-one-ment covenant), but who will not be allowed to enter the marriage chamber (the five foolish), because it was not until the last minute that they rushed off to do the work of filling their lamps. The time to make the effort to prepare for the marriage is now, not when the Bridegroom comes. Now is the time to serve Him by keeping his commandments so that He will know us as His sheep, and choose to intercede between us and justice, not let us be exposed to that which we earned through our own fallible natures.

You probably won't like my answer, but I do sincerely believe in it. Get treatment for the ADHD. It just may be you will be amazed at the amount of mental control you can have when treating the underlying condition.

I'd like to learn more and understand before trying to give too much unsolicited advice. I hope you can provide some more details. Your husband has "no interest in being baptized", but the missionaries are teaching him. Is that correct? Where is he at in the discussions? Has he refused invitations to be baptized? Does he feel it is true? Is it just too early to tell what will be the end result? What's the situation? Why are you feeling distant from your husband now? Did this start when feelings for the missionaries started? Was this present prior to that? Do you know exactly why you feel distant from your husband? Your post title asks 'what you should do about these feelings'. It's normal to feel loving feelings for missionaries. Obviously, they should remain brotherly/sisterly love feelings. If they are more than that, it would be wise to separate yourself from the situation and let the feelings die of neglect. If they are not wholesome, don't feed them. Only trouble comes from feeling unwholesome feelings.

I'm a bit surprised at all the judgmental posts. It's just so easy to be an armchair quarterback when we have absoutely no idea what was going on. I hope none of us is judged without consideration of conditions and circumstances in a similar manner at the final judgement. I was with my stake pres about a month ago, and after asking about keeping LoC, he asked more detailed questions - masterbation, friendships with other women, etc. Although they were a little uncomfortable topics to discuss, they were all appropriate questions IMO. No big deal. Why is it that this Bishop "absoutely crossed the line"? What makes it so impossible that there were not promptings to ask in certian ways? Or even just promptings to review things that are not appropriate, but being a faliable man, he didn't choose 'the perfect' way to discuss it?